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i duo queue with my ex every couple months. we don’t talk about it. it just happens.

    i duo queue with my ex every couple months

we don't talk about it. it just happens.

2am. both online. she sends the invite. or i do. neither of us acknowledges who sent it first.

the discord call is 90% silence. no "how have you been." no "seeing anyone?" just pings and callouts.

"flash down."
"jungler bot."
"nice."

that's the whole conversation.

here's the thing though.

our 2v2 is still nasty.

she knows when i'm going in before i ping it. 

i know her cooldowns better than the last 6 supports i've played with. 

we don't communicate because we don't need to. 

400 games of muscle memory doesn't give a fuck about relationship status.

we'll go 7-2 together. maybe 8-1 on a good night.

then it's "gg" and we're offline for another 2 months.

no follow up. no "we should do this more often." nothing.

because we both know what this is.

it's not friendship. 

it's not rekindling. 

it's not even nostalgia.

it's that neither of us has found better synergy.

and that's the uncomfortable truth about duo queue.

you can break up with someone and still be stuck with them competitively. 

you can hate someone's guts and still combo perfectly in a teamfight. 

you can move on emotionally and still be hardstuck trying to replace what you had in game.

some people have exes they still fuck.

i have an ex i still duo with.

honestly not sure which is worse.

study the saskio way

    DJ Akademiks is so fat, man like he’s just so fucking obese.

      Comment
      byu/Fantastic_Arm_8322 from discussion
      inplayboicarti
      He's so fat, man like he's just so fucking obese. Like everything he does just gives strong obesity vibes. Just obesity radiation surrounding him. Super strength strong unmatched overweight aura. like just posting about Ak is enough to just weigh my phone down. his fat globby belly achieves levels of masculine overweight aura humanity has never seen before. strong glutton filled radiation around this fat fucking demon. how does any shirt ever manage to fit him is a mystery i will not decipher given a googol number of years. so fucking fat. that fat fucking stomach is enough to give me a workout while holding this phone. my armpits get all sweaty n shit when i try to hold my phone with a mere image of him. thats how fat he is man. hes a magician and that fat fucking stomach of his has to be a magic trick. piece of work. that fat fucking creature. so fucking obese.

      Heinz Baked Beans

        From a comment in a post on r/mapporncirclejerk that responded countries banning Heinz Baked Beans.

        heinz baked beans are literally the best thing ever and i will die on this hill. the sauce is perfect, the beans are soft but not mushy, and it just works with EVERYTHING. toast, eggs, sausages, chips, whatever you throw at it, it fits. it’s cheap, it’s filling, it’s reliable. and the idea that some country would BAN them????? insane. absolutely insane!!!! like how do you even justify that??? it’s BEANS. it’s not dangerous, it’s not offensive, it’s not some weird thing, it’s beans in tomato sauce. people live off this stuff, students, workers, families, everyone. you take that away and you’re basically saying “we don’t care about normal people.” don’t care if you think i’m exaggerating, i’m not. you don’t realize how much they matter until someone says “oh they’re banned here” and then suddenly it feels like a crime. they’re part of daily life, they’re survival food. banning them is dumb, pointless, and honestly feels like an attack on the people. i’ll say it again because it needs to be said. HEINZ BEANS ARE LIFE!!!! they’re not fancy, they’re not trying to be anything else, they’re just beans in sauce and somehow it’s perfect. banning them is like banning bread or banning water, it makes no sense.and yeah i’m repeating myself but that’s the point. because it’s that important. beans on toast at 2am when you’re broke, beans with breakfast when you’re tired, beans when you just need something quick. it’s always there. always the same. always good. banning heinz baked beans is dumb and evil

        One time I was mid-goon session to this baddie on X and stumbled on a post

          Comment
          byu/Blood_of_Lucifer from discussion
          inshitposting
          One time I was mid-goon session to this baddie on X and stumbled on a post where she was like, "Just bought my first house at 21!" and then I had to sit there for a moment and just think about life. Here I am struggling so I can become a civil engineer and this girl who's just a few years older than I gets to sell pics of her butthole and buy a house? And the worst part is, it's people like ME who made it possible. On one hand I'm mad, on the other, I'm no better than the people who gave her that cash. It's very conflicting.

It's a shame that countless hardworking individuals spend years building their lives and hot (not even a requirement btw) girls online can just become millionaires overnight.

          I’ll never forget the time I was skating at a local park

            It was from a post form r/Meshuggah but was deleted afterwards for being cringe and fake. 

            I'll never forget the time I was skating at a local park that is by an elementary school.

Bunch of 5th grade boys hanging out after school, playing and watching me. The "leader" of the group, you know, the kid with the spikey hair, asked me what I was listening to on my headphones.

I was as vague as possible but he pressed and finally I just gave him a listen. Within ten seconds you could see the wheels turning in his head; he was a bit bewildered. He took the headphones off and told his friends "don't mess with that dude." Lol

It wasn't Meshuggah, which is probably for the best, but it was the crescendo of Lamb of God's "Resurrection Man."

            LOOK AT THIS STUPID BULLSHIT — “Restarting in 12 minutes and 58 seconds”

              AKA the Windows Update copypasta came from a 2015 rant Youtube video by @ImDrowningInFootwear that depict the user having a mental breakdown over his PC updating.

              look at this shit. LOOK AT THIS STUPID BULLSHIT! "rEsTaRtInG in 12 MiNutEs and 58 seCoNDs" this shit comes up on my computer EVERY. SINGLE. DAY., AUTOMATICALLY! "Your PC needs to restart to finish installing ImPoRtAnT UpDaTeS" EVERY SINGLE DAY. And every single day I click "later." You know why I click "later"?! BECAUSE THERE IS NO OPTION TO CLICK "NEVER" I'D LIKE TO CLICK "NEVER" I NEVER WANT TO INSTALL THIS BULLSHIT, MEANINGLESS, SUPERFLUOUS...-s- I HATE 'EM! I HATE THESE STUPID UPDATES LOOK AT THIS SHIT. EVERY DAY THIS COMES UP! And you know what happens after you click "later" a few times? When a few days goes by and you keep clicking "later" and "later" 'cus you don't wanna fucking do it, you just want to put it off? This automatic bullshit that interrupts your work? IT MAKES YOU TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER AND YOU CLICK "LATER" EVERY DAY, EVENTUALLY IT TAKES AWAY THE OPTION TO EVEN CLICK "LATER" AND IT JUST SAYS: "THESE ARE YOUR ONLY OPTIONS", IT'S BASICALLY PUTTING A KNIFE TO YOUR HEAD AND SAYING YOU COULD EITHER- COULD EITHER FUCKIN'- CAN EITHER WAIT 11 MINUTES AND IT WILL TURN IT OFF FOR YOU OR YA KNOW, BITE THE BULLET AND SHUT IT OFF NOW. IT DOESN'T EVEN GIVE YOU A CHOICE TO SAY "NO" IT JUST COMES UP, WHENEVER IT WANTS, AUTOMATICALLY SAYS "FUCK YOU, WE'RE TURNING OFF YOUR COMPUTER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN 10 MINUTES AND 47 SECONDS" LOOK AT THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING RENDERING SOMETHING YOU COCKSUCKER; I'M DOING IMPORTANT SHIT; WHY DO YOU NEED TO INSTALL UPDATES?! WHAT UPDATES?! SOME MORE FUCKING SPYWARE, SO THE NSA CAN KEEP WATCHING WHAT I'M DOING?! LOOKING AT MY FUCKING DICK PICS?! WATCHING ME JACK OFF?! SPYIN' ON ME????!!! OBAMA YOU FUCKING NIGGER!!!!! I'M A RACIST!!!! YOU MADE ME A RACIST!!!!!!!!!
              LOOK AT THIS STUPID BULLSHIT — "Restarting in 12 minutes and 58 seconds" THIS SHIT COMES UP ON MY COMPUTER, EVERY, SINGLE, DAY, AUTOMATICALLY — "Your PC needs to restart to finish installing important updates", EVERY SINGLE DAY, AND EVERY SINGLE DAY I CLICK "LATER". YOU KNOW WHY I CLICK "LATER"? BECAUSE THERE'S NO OPTION TO CLICK "NEVER". I'D LIKE TO CLICK "NEVER". I NEVER WANT TO INSTALL THESE BULLSHIT, MEANINGLESS, SUPERFLUOUS—

I HATE THEM I HATE THESE STUPID UPDATES LOOK AT THIS SHIT—EVERY DAY THIS COMES UP

And you know what happens after you click later a few times, when a few days goes by, and you keep clicking later and later cause you don't want to fucking do it—you just want to put it off, this automatic bullshit that interrupts your work and makes you TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER, and you click later every day—eventually—it takes away the option to even click "later" and it just says: "These are your only options!"— It's basically putting a knife to your head and saying: you can either—you can either fucking, you can either wait 11 minutes and we'll shut it off for you or you can just—you know—bite the bullet and shut it off now! It doesn't even give you a choice to say no, it just comes up, whenever it wants, automatically, and says "FUCK YOU!" before turning off your computer no matter what you're doing in 10 minutes and 47 seconds. LOOK AT THIS SHIT

I AM FUCKING RENDERING SOMETHING YOU COCKSUCKER, I'M DOING IMPORTANT SHIT

WHY DO YOU NEED TO INSTALL UPDATES? WHAT UPDATES? SOME MORE FUCKING SPYWARE SO THE NSA CAN KEEP WATCHING WHAT I'M DOING, LOOKING AT MY DICK PICS AND WATCHING ME JACK OFF, SPYING ON ME? OBAMA? YOU FUCKING NIGGER I'M A RACIST YOU MADE ME A RACIST