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I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at X than me

    I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

    The original came from a shitpost (?) on r/leetcode which became a meme and spread everywhere.

    I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

When I was working on the daily challenge the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was Leetcoding. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know anything about programming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive programming and talked about it all the time. Apparently he is a Guardian on Leetcode and he even used to prepare contest problems for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with mediums most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My gf keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but everytime I am stuck in a problem I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in minutes. I just can't get the image of him easily solving LC Hards out of my head. Every time he submits a solution and gets that green AC on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my contest performance. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

    I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

    I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

When I was playing some 2s the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Rocket League. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "car soccer" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is an SSL (Supersonic Legend) and used to do paid boosting and freestyle clips for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to stay in Diamond 2 most of the time and my MMR is hovering around 1000. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of mechanics doesn't bother her, but every time I whiff an open net, I keep thinking about how her ex would have hit a triple-reset musty double tap instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly air-dribbling out of my head. Every time he hits a ceiling shot and sees "Goal Scored" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his speed-flips to my awkward front-flips, and she will never be satisfied with my tournament performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in free play, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

    I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Hearthstone than me

    When I was playing some casual matches the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Hearthstone. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "that card game with fish people" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is a Top 100 Legend player and used to do paid coaching and video guides for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to reach Silver most of the time and my MMR is hovering around Bronze. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of a Legend card back doesn't bother her, but every time I miss lethal, I keep thinking about how her ex would have won three turns earlier instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly spotting lethal out of my head. Every time he knocks his opponent’s HP down to zero and sees "Victory!" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his quick lethals to my awkward slow concedes, and she will never be satisfied with my ladder performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in ranked, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

    (Chess) I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at puzzles than me

    I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at puzzles than me

When I was working on the daily puzzle the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was practicing on Chess.com. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know much about chess. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive chess and talked about it all the time. Apparently, he is a CM on Chess.com and he even used to commentate games for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with puzzles most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My girlfriend keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but every time I am stuck in a puzzle I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in seconds. I just can't get the image of him easily solving chess puzzles out of my head. Every time he solves a puzzle and gets that green checkmark on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my puzzle-solving skills. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

    Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT!

      AKA the ‘Areyoushure’ copypasta. Its an Invincible brainrot copypasta by u/Embarrassed-Bear-945 who spams it in the circlejerk Invincible subreddit (r/okbuddyviltrum).

      Are-.. Are y-.. S-.. Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT! WHERE'S OMNIMAN? How is that possible? I do not wanna hurt you, sir. I NEED YOU SEA SALT!!! Pretty sure. I am omning it, I am omning it so good! WHERE IS HE??? I am so lonely. Threw a trash bag. Stand ready for my arrival, worm. WHAT'S 17 MORE YEARS? Into space. Oh, yes, that's what I'm talking about! You need to goon, Mark! At work. Goon! WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT NICE! IT'S NOT NICE TO DO THAT! Oh, yes! For Viltruuuuum!!! That's not very nice. That's the neat part, you don't. My name is Shapesmith. PATHETIC! I WOULDN'T EVEN KEEP YOU AS A SLAVE IN MY EMPIRE! Oh, someone misses their mommy, waaah! You're a weird dude, dude! Bacon egg and cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME? Guess who's finally getting his powers? I know where your faamily liiives! Dad! Dad, look! I'm gonna be... DUCT TAPE MAN! Big ass beatdown coming up! You are a pale imitation of Invincible! I don't give a shit about Viltrum! Swearing doesn't make you cool. Wait... You don't have, like, supersperm or something, do you? I miss William. Are you guys gonna mate now? Shut it! I feel dirty.. Oh I'm ceciling it! Make them fear Invincible! BRAX MOY! LATI MOY! XOPA MOY! DIE. I've given this world enough. I'm gonna not be alive! Oh, poor Angstrom! You're not him. It's all your fault! Son, I made a mistake, and I thought about you every single.. I'M A SNAKE! You know, on my planet sock on the door mean’s somebody’s fucking. BRAH BRAH! Let me break it down for you, Mark. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Son, I made a steak. A STEAK? Yes... Your father will be executed. That's not very nice. This battle is beneath me! This is good news! We can finally be bees! This isn't your world. But we can be bees! This is good news! You can be a bee! You'll live like a bee! A pet. A PET?? A pet. Mark, this is good news! You'll live for 30 years! THIS IS INSANE! I think... I miss my wife. MY ENTIRE GOD DAMN SKELETON, DICKHEAD! We won, my dick is out and I don't care! Rex Sploded... Son, we need to talk. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYBEE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BUZZ AWAY! EVERYBEE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BEE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 30 YEARS?! Damn near certain. FINALLY, SOME ACTION! I miss Viltrum... Are you certain? KTX KTX KTX SEOUL I NEED YOU SEOUL! THIS IS GOOD NEWS MARK! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! YOU NEED TO GOON, MARK! GOON! OHH, YES! FOR SEOUL! I can help! How much does this job pay? Leave no one alive. How do you feel about war? This is serious, Shapesmith. This is fruit punch. Would you like some?
ARE YOU SURE?

       Are-.. Are y-.. S-.. Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT! WHERE'S OMNIMAN? How is that possible? I do not wanna hurt you, sir. I NEED YOU SEA SALT!!! Pretty sure. I am omning it, I am omning it so good! WHERE IS HE??? I am so lonely. Threw a trash bag. Stand ready for my arrival, worm. WHAT'S 17 MORE YEARS? Into space. Oh, yes, that's what I'm talking about! You need to goon, Mark! At work. Goon! WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT NICE! IT'S NOT NICE TO DO THAT! Oh, yes! For Viltruuuuum!!! That's not very nice. That's the neat part, you don't. My name is Shapesmith. PATHETIC! I WOULDN'T EVEN KEEP YOU AS A SLAVE IN MY EMPIRE! Oh, someone misses their mommy, waaah! You're a weird dude, dude! Bacon egg and cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME? Guess who's finally getting his powers? I know where your faamily liiives! Dad! Dad, look! I'm gonna be... DUCT TAPE MAN! Big ass beatdown coming up! You are a pale imitation of Invincible! I don't give a shit about Viltrum! Swearing doesn't make you cool. Wait... You don't have, like, supersperm or something, do you? I miss William. Are you guys gonna mate now? Shut it! I feel dirty.. Oh I'm ceciling it! Make them fear Invincible! BRAX MOY! LATI MOY! XOPA MOY! DIE. I've given this world enough. I'm gonna not be alive! Oh, poor Angstrom! You're not him. It's all your fault! Mama Boss! Son, I made a mistake, and I thought about you every single.. I'M A SNAKE! You know, on my planet sock on the door mean’s somebody’s fucking. BRAH BRAH! Let me break it down for you, Mark. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Son, I made a steak. A STEAK? Yes... Your father will be executed. That's not very nice. This battle is beneath me! This is good news! We can finally be bees! This isn't your world. But we can be bees! This is good news! You can be a bee! You'll live like a bee! A pet. A PET?? A pet. Mark, this is good news! You'll live for 30 years! THIS IS INSANE! I think... I miss my wife. Oh, man, that's your favorite finger! That's my favorite finger! It's his favorite finger, Sea Salt! Can we do something about that? MY ENTIRE GOD DAMN SKELETON, DICKHEAD! We won, my dick is out and I don't care! Rex Sploded... Son, we need to talk. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYBEE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BUZZ AWAY! EVERYBEE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BEE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 30 YEARS?! Damn near certain. FINALLY, SOME ACTION! I miss Viltrum... Are you certain? KTX KTX KTX SEOUL I NEED YOU SEOUL! THIS IS GOOD NEWS MARK! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! YOU NEED TO GOON, MARK! GOON! OHH, YES! FOR SEOUL! I can help! How much does this job pay? Leave no one alive. How do you feel about war? This is serious, Shapesmith. This is fruit punch. Would you like some? ARE YOU WINNING, SON? ALL IS OURS! What just happened? Where's the dinosaur? Do either of you have some clothes I could borrow? You, uh... Okay, buddy? See? Before, you would have punched my head off for doing this. I still might. On your knees, animal. Make my death painful so others may learn and grow stronger from it. What do you want, Machine Head? World peace. A pony. My name in lights. The list goes on. Mr Liu sends his regards. I think we can agree that Steaks were made and we've all learned from them. STEAKS?? I fought Conquest. I'm him, Art. Please. Violence like that is merely foreplay for my kind. Dude. Gross. Hurm. Crown fragile! Uh.. I'm not bowing to Satan. Does he have two buttholes? Yes, he's full grown. Do you suppose I could have control of my vessel returned to me? Let the insect learn his lesson. Get your hands off my son! Gonna tell me all your deepest feelings again? That was in confidence. Now who is the toast? I think... I miss my steak. Stand ready for my worm's arrival. Protein Tubes. With that white sauce. Get up. We're going training. What time is it even? Training time. I just told you. Andressa wasn’t a steak. It made me feel... I don't know, fizzy inside? You grew a beard! So did you. WHERE IS THE BETRAYER?! Here. Yes! Teamwork makes the dreamwork! Zoe? NooOooO! Viltrumites! Yeah, get the fuck outta here! Ever since we've left Earth, he's been in a major funk. Oh, “funk” is a.. it's a Unopan word, it means kinda like bummed out. Yeah. It means the same on Earth. My dad calls me The Human Garbage Disposal. Your moo cows have faces. No way he lives up to the hype. Boom! Triple triple! Yes! My final meal will be my own blood as I choke on it, breathing my last breath after a Legendary battle with a superior opponent. That will be a satisfying meal indeed. Hey, Thaedus is coming too? He's like a million years old… Nevermind. VILTRUM IS NOT A TOMB! It's not my gun you should be worried about. Hey, dickhead ! A black hole called. It wants its suck back! You're not one of us. I KILLED CONQUEST, I'LL KILL YOU TOO! NooOooO 2. Emperor Argall! You are avenged! You are all next. I offered you forgiveness, I offered you an honorable death! I was too quick with Thaedus, I won't make the same mistake with you. You could have been a Viltrumite, but you chose to be... How do we beat him? Mark… You need to stop worrying and SLEEP. Oh, so you WERE listening! What? That's not exactly dropping in quietly. This is the smallest repayment for what you did to us. I had an abortion. What? Earth, or this specific spot? Take your pick. Yes, we are here. Besides, I'll sex it out of you later.
ARE YOU SURE?

      Hey dude. Letting you know someone in the queer platonic group chat (the one you left after Kai’s alter made some acephobic comments

        source
        Hey dude. Letting you know someone in the queer platonic group chat (the one you left after Kai's alter made some acephobic comments, which he apologized for later btw :/) said they found receipts on your twitter of you liking a James Charles tweet which is really,., yikes.

Also Rainbow said you were tweeting on ur Steven universe roleplay account that were gonna rewatch atla which is like a really transphobic and racist and sexist show and you know how Ash feels about even if they won't say anything about it be of their anxiety..., idk dude I just wanted to let you know.

I know Ash can be biphobic sometimes but they also live in an apartment and their parents are divorced so they have ptsd from it :// I think Ash might write a callout but me and Rainbow are trying to calm them down just be aware and maybe stop being toxic

        Japan🇯🇵 is turning footsteps into electricity! Using piezoelectric tiles

          Its an Instagram reels copypasta where its used as a caption because it promotes engagement. Many people noticed this and turned the whole thing into a meme.

          
Japan🇯🇵 is turning footsteps into electricity! Using piezoelectric tiles, every step you take generates a small amount of energy. Millions of steps together can power LED lights and displays in busy places like Shibuya Station. A brilliant way to create a sustainable and smart city.

          Japan is turning footsteps into electricity! ⚡Using piezoelectric tiles, every step you take generates a small amount of energy. Millions of steps together can power LED lights and displays in busy places like Shibuya Station. A brilliant way to create a sustainable and smart city -- turning movement into clean, renewable energy 🌱💡
          Japan is generating electricity by using the energy produced when people walk. This technology works by installing special devices under floors or roads. When people step on these surfaces, pressure created. That pressure is converted into electrical energy. This method is considered an eco-friendly source of power. It is commonly used in crowded places like railway stations and shopping malls. Walking naturally helps produce energy without extra effort.The generated electricity is used for lights and electronic displays. This innovation helps reduce energy problems.
          #🇯🇵Japan is turning footsteps into electricity! 4 Using piezoelectric tiles, every step you take generates a small amount of energy. Millions of steps together can power LED lights and displays in busy places like Shibuya Station. A brilliant way to create a sustainable and smart city turning m..

          Mike Tyson MAHA Super Bowl Commercial

            source
            My sister name was Denise she died of obesity at 25

She had a heart attack

I was so fat and nasty

I would eat anything

I was like 345 pounds

Quart of ice cream every hour

I had so much self-hate and I was like “I just wanted to kill myself.”

*crunch* *CRONCHH*

mmmhh

We’re the most powerful country in the world and we have the most obese, fudgy people

Heuhheuhheuh

Something has to be done about processed food in this country

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

            💯🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI 😩🙌🏻💯

              Year of Horse

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Its time 😨 to show 📺 AHGONG 👲🏻👴🏻 your 👉 PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜 And get 🔟 some ⛄ THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️ Get 🔟 your 👉🅱️ love 💢😍 letters 🧧💕 ready 🌞 for 😊 some 😑 of your 👉🏻 大哥's 😇 LONG STALLION 🍖🥓🍆 and get ready to RIDE THAT PONY 🏇🏇🏇 until you're HUNG like a MARE 🐴💦🏡💦🏡💦

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send this to 8️⃣8️⃣ people who are in a very 🇨🇳CHINESE🇨🇳 time of their lives 🍵🀄👲 if you get more than 1️⃣2️⃣ back 🐀🐂🐅🐇🐉🐍🐎🐐🐒🐓🐕🐖 then she'll XIN NIAN 新年 on your KUAI LE 快乐 til your HORSE ARRIVES 马到 at SUCCESS 成功!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
              GONG XI FUCK CAI 😩‼️

IT’S THE YEAR OF THE 🐴 HORSE 🐴

You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀

Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜

And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗💰🈵‼️

Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥’s BIG 肉乾 🍖🥓🥓🍗 and text your closest 大哥s with BIG STALLIONS🐴🐴📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦

Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰👲👲 and get laid HORSEY STYLE 😈🐴 🏇this CNY‼️‼️‼️

If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won’t get to enjoy any of that 大肉乾

If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back your 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩

If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼️
              GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐴 H O R S E 🐴 You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 and AHMA 👵👵your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of** your 大哥's BIG 肉干 😩😩👅💦💦and get ready to be fucked 👉👌👌 DOGGY STYLE 🐶😫 perform DOGGY STYLE ?🐶? to get more HONGBAOS 👌💰💰Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼️‼️‼️ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of th**ese back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨️♨️🈵🈵‼️

              Year of Snake

              🏮GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏 IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐍 SNAKE 🐍 You know what this means 👀 for all the 👧 XIAO MEIMEIS 👧 Time to get sexy ♨️ and wear your tightest 👚 QIPAO 👗👠 because 大哥's SNAKE is sliding up your legs tonight! 😈 Don't forget to show AHGONG 👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊😜😜 for those THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️❗❗ when DA GE 🧑comes to your house 🏡 show him your lucky 👙 RED UNDERWEAR 👙 and you will be making your own DONG DONG QIANG 🎆🎇🧨noises 🔊📢📣 in the bedroom tonight 🌘🌠 YUMSENG 🍻🥂🥃 away to quench your thirst 🤤🧊 Have fun 🤩 playing MAHJONG 🀄🀄 with your cousins💁🏼‍♀️👱👩🏻‍🦰, but careful 🚫☝️not to lose 😱too much money 💵💸, or else 😖 you can only PLAY ✊🤞😲 with yourself 😨😳 Send this to 8️⃣8️⃣8️⃣of your LA MEI👸🌶️ or SHUAI GE 🤴😘 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼
              🐍 DONG DONG QIANG 💯🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI MOTHERFUCKERS 😩🙌🏻💯 🐍 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE 🐍 and you know what that means, you qipao VIXENS 😋👩👀, It’s time to hypnotize your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 with your SLICKEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅 and coil around the THICCEST HONGBAOS 🉐💰🈵 Get your ssssecret 💕 💕 love notes ready for your 大哥’s VENOMOUS 红包能量 😩😫👅💦💦 Don’t forget to charm your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂🧑 and sssip on BAKKWA 🐍🐍🐍💦 to summon SNAKE GOD HONGBAO BLESSINGS 👌🏻💰💰 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your MOST MYSTICAL SNAKE-SLAYING SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and manifest a SEDUCTIVE LION DANCE 🐲🐍💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ replies, your 大肉干 will taste like shed skin 😭😭 If you get 4⃣-7⃣, your 年年有🐍 becomes 年年有🍆🍆💦�� If you get 8⃣+ back, your flat Chinese ass 😶😶😶 will be hissing HUAT AH all year ♨♨🈵🈵‼ 
              🐍🔥🏮 XIN NIAN KUAI LE, MOTHERFUCKERS 🏮🔥🐍💥💥 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE, BABY! 🐍🐍💨💨 and you KNOW what that means, you slippery, slithering SLUTS 😏💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥 Time to SHED 🐍👕💸 your old broke-ass luck 💀💀💀 and slide into 🏃‍♂️💨💨 that THICCEST stack of hongbaos 🧧🧧🧧💰💰💰💦💦💦 like a true HUAT LORD 🈵🈵🈵💴💴💴🔥🔥🔥SLURP those long-life noodles 🍜🍜🐍👅💦 like you’re trying to swallow a whole python 😏😏💦💦 and get ready to wrap yourself 🌀🌀 around a BIG, JUICY 龙根 🍆🐍🔥🔥🔥🔥 this CNY 😩😩💦💦💦💦 Bite into that sticky 年糕 🍡🍡🍡🍡 and let it glide down your throat 😏😏🐍💦💦 like your 大哥’s lucky money shot 💰💰💰💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥 Don’t forget to slither into your relatives’ houses 🏠🐍👴👵🧑‍🎤🧑‍🎤, charm them 😏🐍👀💸🧧 with your sweetest 新年祝福 🐍🗣️🧧💰💰 and get those FATTEST hongbaos 💰💰💰💰💰💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your spiciest 🌶️🌶️🌶️🔥🔥🔥 CNY whores 🐍🐍🐍😈😈 and get the SEXIEST lion dance performance 🐉💃🐍💃🐍💃🐍 this season‼‼‼🔥🔥🔥If you get 0⃣-3⃣ back, you’ll be eating plain rice ALL YEAR 🍚🍚🍚😭😭😭💀💀💀 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ back, your 年年有 👉👌🍆🐍💦💦💦 is SECURED 😏🔥🔥🔥🔥💨💨💨 If you get 8⃣+ back, your luck will be THICC 🍑🍑, your bank account FAT 💰💰💰, and your snake 🐍🐍🐍 will be getting CHARMED ALL NIGHT 💨💨💨💦💦💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥HUAT AH, BITCHES!!! 🔥🔥🔥🐍🐍🐍💥💥💥 
              GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐍 S N A K E 🐍 You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜 And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥's BIG 肉干 🍖🥓🥓🍗🍗nd text your closest COCKcubines 📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦 Send this to 8️⃣8️⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼️‼️‼️ If you get 0️⃣-3️⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4️⃣-7️⃣ of these back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8️⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨️♨️🈵🈵‼️

              Year of Dragon

              GONG XI FUCK CAI 😩‼ IT'S THE YEAR OF THE DRAGON 🐉 🐉 🐉 💦💦💦💦. You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜 And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗💰🈵‼ Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for a 龙 night with some of your 大哥's BIG 肉干 🍖🥓🥓🍗🍗 and text your closest COCKcubines 📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦 and play with the BIG BAD DRAGON 😳😳😳 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼
              GONG XI FUCK CAI MOTHERFUCKERS 💯🙌🏻👋🏻IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐲 D R A G O N 🐲 You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 and AHMA 👵🏻👵🏻your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥's BIG BAD DRAGON 😩😩👅💦💦and get ready to be fucked 👉🏻👌🏻👌🏻 DOGGY STYLE 🐶😫 perform DOGGY STYLE ?🐶? to get more HONGBAOS 👌🏻💰💰Send this to 8888 of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy DRAGON DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼️‼️‼️ If you get 3️⃣-7️⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that BAD DRAGON. If you get 4️⃣0️⃣-7️⃣0️⃣ of these back ur 年年有👉🏻👌🏻🍆 🍆 💦 😫💦😫 if you get more than 8️⃣0️⃣ back your flat Chinese ass 😳😳😳 will be DRAGON DEEZ BIG BALLS OF MONEY TONIGHT ♨️♨️🈵🈵‼️ HENG ONG HUAT AH 😋😋😋

              Year of Rabbit

              GONG XI FUCK CAI 😩‼ IT'S THE YEAR OF THE RABBIT 🐰🐰🐰💦💦💦💦. You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜 And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗💰🈵‼Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥's BIG 肉干 🍖🥓🥓🍗🍗nd text your closest COCKcubines 📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼

              Year of Tiger

              🏮GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏 IT'S THE YEAR OF THE THIRSTY 😩 WATER 💧🌊 TIGER 🐅 RAWRR 🐾💥 You know 👀 what this means you sexy 🌬️qipao SLUTS 🥼👘 Time to get steamy ♨️and unleash your WILD 🌋side, wear your hottest 🔥 NEW YEAR CLOTHES 👗👠🧥 but be a GOOD KITTY 😻🐯 and show KKM 👮🧔 your MYSEJAHTERA 📱✅ to get some VACCINE!! 👨‍⚕️ 👩‍⚕️ 🧑‍⚕️ Get your arm 💪 💪 ready for some BOOSTER JAB 💉💦 before you get CUCUK 🍆💦👉👌 by something else 😏 Report your 🏠 neighbours 👵 👴 for SOP violations☎️👮‍♀️ ❗❗ or else DA GE 🧑will come to your house 🏡 and BEAT ❕😫💥 your BIG MEATY BAKKWA 🥩🥓 and you will be making your own DONG DONG QIANG 🎆🎇🧨noises 🔊📢📣 in the bedroom tonight 🌘🌠  Whip out your HENGDAI GANG 🤼👥 (but not your xiaodidi 🤏🍤) and YUMSENG 🍻🥂🥃 away to quench your thirst 🤤🧊 Have fun 🤩 playing MAHJONG 🀄🀄 with your cousins💁🏼‍♀️👱👩🏻‍🦰, but careful 🚫☝️not to lose 😱too much money 💵💸, or else 😖 you can only PLAY ✊🤞😲 with yourself 😨😳 Send this to 8️⃣8️⃣8️⃣of your LA MEI👸🌶️ or SHUAI GE 🤴😘 friends or you will get the NEW COVID!! 😷🏥💀
              💯🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI MOTHERFUCKERS 😩🙌🏻💯 🐯 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE TIGER 🐯 and you know what that means you qipao SLUTS 😋👩👀, It’s time to show your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅 and recieve the THICCEST HONGBAOS 🉐💰🈵 get your love 💕 💕letters ready for some of your 大哥’s HUGE 懒觉 😩😫👅💦💦 and get ready to eat DICK 🍆like a TIGER🐯😫 Don’t forget to visit your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂️🧑 and suck on BAKKWA juices 🐯💦 to get MORE HONGBAOS👌🏻💰💰 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back your 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼
              🔥🔥💯 DONG DONG DONG QIANG my XIAO TIGER 🐅 🐅 🐅🐅🐅 💯🔥🔥 Put away your 🐂 😝 cos its time for the year of the TIGER 🐅 Fire up your 🐯 🐯 🐯 filters 😂 and pull your qipao slits high up your thigh 💃🏻💃🏻👅👅 cause 🤑 CAI SHEN YE 🤑 is coming to bless you with 💲💲😝🙈💦💦GOLDEN SHOWERS 👅👅😍😝 this year

Squeeze out your RIPE CHEST 🍊🍊oRAnGeS 🍊🍊in your 👗TIGHTEST QIPAO 👚cause 大哥 has some bIG 肉干 🥓🍖🍗🍖for you to 😮😜SWALLOW😜😮

For my xdds🙋🏻‍♂️, 阿姨 has some 🈵DEEEP HONGBAOS🈵 to slide your hand 👉🏻👌🏻into that will make you even 💯💦LUCKIER💦💯 than your👙RED UNDERWEAR 👙

Send this to 88 of your 🔥SEXIEST relatives 👶🏻👵🏻🔥and you might just be called 💋🤴🏻📣HUANG SHANG‼️📣🤴🏻💋allllllll night🌚🌚

If you get 1-4 back, youre doomed to shitty 💲2 hongbaos and ah gongs 👴🏼DRY😖🍆 love letters🍆💕 ALL YEAR LONG. Get 5-8 back and you might have your PINEAPPLE TARTS slurped up 😛🤤💦and your 🤤👀LUCKY LOVER 👀💏will be a 🔥💥🔥FIRECRACKER 🔥💥🔥in bed. Get 0 and you forfeit all your 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♂️👲🏻chinese ANCESTRY👲🏻🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♂️ and your little 🍤hae bee hiam roll 🍤will 👉🏻SHRINK👈🏻 18cm on 初四‼️‼️
              GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐅 T I G E R 🐅 You know what that means you qipao SLUTS 👘👀 Its time to show AHGONG👲🏻👲🏻👴🏻👴🏻 your PHATTEST oranges 🍊🍊🍊😜😜😜 And get some THICCC HONGBAOS ㊗️💰🈵‼️Get your love letters 💕💕 ready for some of your 大哥's BIG 肉干 🍖🥓🥓🍗🍗nd text your closest COCKcubines 📱📱💃💃 to come visiting 🏡💦🏡💦🏡💦 Send this to 8️⃣8️⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼️‼️‼️ If you get 0️⃣-3️⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4️⃣-7️⃣ of these back ur 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8️⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨️♨️🈵🈵‼️
              🇨🇳🥠🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI 💥 😩🙌🏻💯🈲🐯 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE TIGER 🐯❕❕🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊

And 👉🏻you👉🏻 know what that means... you qipao SLUTS 😋👩👀, It’s time ⏰ to show your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅 and recieve the THiCCEST HONGBAOS 🉐💰🈵 😝🧐😫

🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥 Don’t forget to visit your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂️🧑 and suck on BAKKWA juices 🥤🐯💦 to get MORE HONGBAOS👌🏻💰💰 😛😛

📲Forward 📲this on to 8️⃣ lucky 🎰 vaCHINA-licking 🇨🇳 🍆👅💦WHORES 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ who always hungry 😋 for more 🍑ASS🍑just 3️⃣0️⃣ minutes ⏰ after they ATE 🍑🍩👅🤤

Get ❌0️⃣❌ back and 👲🏻General Tso’s 🥡🌶 will be the only 🥩🍆MEAT 🥩🍆 you get this year‼️ Get 🔄 less 📉⬇️ than 8️⃣ and you may 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♂️find 🔍 some 🌱🌹🚬OpiYUMMY 🚬🤤😋 DICK 🍆🌭 to SLOBBER 👅💦 on today‼️ 🐲🙇🏻‍♀️🙌🏻🥖💦

Get 8️⃣ or more 💯 back 🔄 and 💦CUMfucious💦 🧓🏻🐉say you’ll ⏰ spend ⏰the 🎎🎊new year 🏮 HENTAI-ed 🦑👧🏻🔗to your 🛏 bed getting your ENVELOPE✉️📮pussy 🥠🐱🐟STUFFED ➡️⭕️😫 til it’s RED 🏮📮💉👺😳🔴 🐯🐯🐯

🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊 👧🏻👩🏻🙋🏻‍♀️Let’s give the year of the 🐂 c-OX RING ⭕️ 🍌💍 🐂 a ✋🏻HAND✋🏻-felt 👋🏻goodbye 👋🏻🍆💦😏 and get our HANDS✋🏻👋🏻 on more 🐉 of that 🏯⛩dyNASTY 🎎 D 🍆🍌this 👉🏻 year‼️ 😫😘🍌💦 🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊
              👯‍♀️ hey whores 👯‍♀️ HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR 🐯🧧 BuST out your tigHtest qipao 👘 and even tiGHter PuSSY 🐈😩 Wishing you all the SUCCsex 👉🏻👌🏻, good 👅 DICK, and prosperTITTY 😳😳 this year 🎉👏🏼 Send ✉️this to 8⃣8⃣ of your 👅F😳R😩E🤪A🤫K🥵I💦E😍S👄T😮‍💨 frieNDS or you will get no 🚫🚫 diCK 🚫🚫 If you get 5️⃣ back, U will get shitty 💰 hong 🅱️aos 🧧 and teeny shrimp pee pees 🦐🍤 ALL YEAR LONG 🤮 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and U will get your back 🅱️LOWN out 💥💥❗️like a dirty SLUT 😩 Put away your 🐓COCKS 🐓 cus its time for the year 🐯 PUSSSYYYYY 🐯
              GONG XI FUCK CAI 💯🙌👏 IT'S THE YEAR OF THE 🐅 TIGER 🐅 You know what this means you qipao SLUTS 🥼 👘 👀 It's time to show SDA 🧏 👴 your TRACE FOREVER 📱✅ and get some VACCINE!! 👨‍⚕️ 👩‍⚕️ 🧑‍⚕️ Get your arm 💪 💪 ready for some of big pharma BOOSTER JAB 💉💦 and report your 🏠 neighbours 👵 👴 for SDA violations!!☎️👮‍♀️ ❗❗ Send this to 8️⃣8️⃣ of your relatives or you will get the NEW COVID!! 😷🏥 💀
              Squeeze out your RIPE CHEST 🍊🍊oRAnGeS 🍊🍊in your 👗TIGHTEST QIPAO 👚cause 大哥 has some bIG 肉干 🥓🍖🍗🍖for you to 😮😜SWALLOW😜😮

For my xdds🙋🏻‍♂, 阿姨 has some 🈵DEEEP HONGBAOS🈵 to slide your hand 👉🏻👌🏻into that will make you even 💯💦LUCKIER💦💯 than your👙RED UNDERWEAR 👙

Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your 🔥🧔🏻🧑🏻SEXIEST relatives 👶🏻👵🏻🔥and you might just be called 💋🤴🏻📣HUANG SHANG‼️📣🤴🏻💋allllllll night🌚🌚

If you get 1⃣-4⃣ back, youre doomed to shitty 💲2⃣hongbaos and ah gongs 👴🏼DRY😖🍆 love letters🍆💕 ALL YEAR LONG🤮. Get 5⃣-8⃣ back and you might have your 🥧PINEAPPLE TARTS 🥧slurped up 😛🤤💦and your 🤤👀LUCKY LOVER 👀💏will be a 🔥💥🔥FIRECRACKER 🔥💥🔥in bed. Get 0⃣ and you forfeit all your 🙅🏻‍♀🙅🏻‍♂👲🏻chinese ANCESTRY👲🏻🙅🏻‍♀🙅🏻‍♂ and your little 🍤hae bee hiam roll 🍤will 👉🏻SHRINK👈🏻 1⃣8⃣cm on 初四‼️‼️🔥🔥💯 DONG DONG DONG QIANG my XIAO GOUs 🐯💯🔥🔥 Put away your 🐓COCKS 🐓😝 cos its time for the year 🐕BITCHESSS 🐕 Fire up your Dog filters 🐩😂 and pull your qipao slits high up your thigh 💃🏻💃🏻👅👅 cause 🤑 CAI SHEN YE 🤑 is coming to bless you with 💲💲😝🙈💦💦GOLDEN SHOWERS 👅👅😍😝 this year
              🇨🇳🥠🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI 💥 😩🙌🏻💯🈲🐯 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE TIGER 🐯❕❕🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊

And 👉🏻you👉🏻 know what that means... you qipao SLUTS 😋👩👀, It’s time ⏰ to show your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅 and recieve the THiCCEST HONGBAOS 🉐💰🈵 😝🧐😫 🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥🎇💥 Don’t forget to visit your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂️🧑 and suck on BAKKWA juices 🥤🐯💦 to get MORE HONGBAOS👌🏻💰💰 😛😛

📲Forward 📲this on to 8️⃣ lucky 🎰 vaCHINA-licking 🇨🇳 🍆👅💦WHORES 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ who always hungry 😋 for more 🍑ASS🍑just 3️⃣0️⃣ minutes ⏰ after they ATE 🍑🍩👅🤤 Get ❌0️⃣❌ back and 👲🏻General Tso’s 🥡🌶 will be the only 🥩🍆MEAT 🥩🍆 you get this year‼️ Get 🔄 less 📉⬇️ than 8️⃣ and you may 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♂️find 🔍 some 🌱🌹🚬OpiYUMMY 🚬🤤😋 DICK 🍆🌭 to SLOBBER 👅💦 on today‼️ 🐲🙇🏻‍♀️🙌🏻🥖💦

Get 8️⃣ or more 💯 back 🔄 and 💦CUMfucious💦 🧓🏻🐉say you’ll ⏰ spend ⏰the 🎎🎊new year 🏮 HENTAI-ed 🦑👧🏻🔗to your 🛏 bed getting your ENVELOPE✉️📮pussy 🥠🐱🐟STUFFED ➡️⭕️😫 til it’s RED 🏮📮💉👺😳🔴 🐯🐯🐯

🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊 👧🏻👩🏻🙋🏻‍♀️Let’s give the year of the 🐂 c-OX RING ⭕️ 🍌💍 🐂 a ✋🏻HAND✋🏻-felt 👋🏻goodbye 👋🏻🍆💦😏 and get our HANDS✋🏻👋🏻 on more 🐉 of that 🏯⛩dyNASTY 🎎 D 🍆🍌this 👉🏻 year‼️ 😫😘🍌💦 🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊🇨🇳🥠⛩🏮🎊

              Year of Pig

              🔥🔥💯 DONG DONG DONG QIANG my XIAO ZHUS 🐷💯🔥🔥 Put away your 🐓COCKS 🐓😝 cos its time for the year 🐖PORKIES🐖 Fire up your Pig filters 🐽😂 and pull your qipao slits high up your thigh 💃🏻💃🏻👅👅 cause 🤑 CAI SHEN YE 🤑 is coming to bless you with 💲💲😝🙈💦💦GOLDEN SHOWERS 👅👅😍😝 this year

Squeeze out your RIPE CHEST 🍊🍊oRAnGeS 🍊🍊in your 👗TIGHTEST QIPAO 👚cause 大哥 has some bIG 肉干 🥓🍖🍗🍖for you to 😮😜SWALLOW😜😮

For my xdds🙋🏻‍♂, 阿姨 has some 🈵DEEEP HONGBAOS🈵 to slide your hand 👉🏻👌🏻into that will make you even 💯💦LUCKIER💦💯 than your👙RED UNDERWEAR 👙

Send this to 88 of your 🔥SEXIEST relatives 👶🏻👵🏻🔥and you might just be called 💋🤴🏻📣HUANG SHANG‼️📣🤴🏻💋allllllll night🌚🌚

If you get 1-4 back, youre doomed to shitty 💲2 hongbaos and ah gongs 👴🏼DRY😖🍆 love letters🍆💕 ALL YEAR LONG. Get 5-8 back and you might have your PINEAPPLE TARTS slurped up 😛🤤💦and your 🤤👀LUCKY LOVER 👀💏will be a 🔥💥🔥FIRECRACKER 🔥💥🔥in bed. Get 0 and you forfeit all your 🙅🏻‍♀🙅🏻‍♂👲🏻chinese ANCESTRY👲🏻🙅🏻‍♀🙅🏻‍♂ and your little 🍤hae bee hiam roll 🍤will 👉🏻SHRINK👈🏻 18cm on 初四‼️‼️
              💯🙌🏻😩 GONG XI FA CAI MOTHERFUCKERS 😩🙌🏻💯 🐷 IT’S THE YEAR OF THE PIG 🐷 and you know what that means you qipao SLUTS 😋👩👀, It’s time to show your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 your PHATTEST mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅 and recieve the THICCEST HONGBAOS 🉐💰🈵 get your love 💕 💕letters ready for some of your 大哥’s HUGE 懒觉 😩😫👅💦💦 and get ready to eat DICK 🍆like a PIG 🐷😫 Don’t forget to visit your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂️🧑 and suck on BAKKWA juices 🐷💦 to get MORE HONGBAOS👌🏻💰💰 Send this to 8⃣8⃣ of your most SUPERSTITIOUS SLUTS 💰💰🙊🙊 and get a sexy LION DANCE 🐲🐲💃💃 this CNY‼‼‼ If you get 0⃣-3⃣ of these back, you won't get to enjoy any of that 大肉干 If you get 4⃣-7⃣ of these back your 年年有 👉👌🍆🍆💦😩💦😩 If you get more than 8⃣ back your flat chinese ass 😶😶😶will be screaming HUAT AH tonight ♨♨🈵🈵‼