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Greek Independence Day

    🧿🇬🇷ΖΗΤΩ Η ΕΛΛΑΣ BITCHES 🇬🇷🧿 Today we celebrate the birthplace 🫃of DEMOCRACY 🗳️✅ and GAY SEX🧔‍♂️👦 On this day 🗓️ 🔙 205 years ago the Greeks 🏛️🐐 stopped taking it greek 🍑👈😏 from the ottomans 🦃 and FUCKED BACK 🔫😈They fucked through caves 🕳️😫 They topped on mountains 🗻🥴 They DICKED DOWN 👹🤤 the turks 🧌 FROM EVERY ANGLE 😵‍💫💦 But because of the Greeks’ MANLY SKIRTS 💃😘 CUTE HATS 🍄👀and POM POM shoes 👠🤑 the ottoMOANS were TOO HARD 🪨😮‍💨 and couldn’t be BEAT OFF 🤐🍆 Thankfully 10 years later the daddies of Europe 🇬🇧🇫🇷🇷🇺👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 got too horny 🤪🤭 and wanted to FUCK GREECE THEMSELVES 🇬🇷🥵 so they rubbed on some olive oil 🫒🤫 and in the biggest gangbang of the 1830s 🌚🌚🌛🌚🌚 they sent the ottomans walking SIDE TO SIDE 😵💫 back across the aegean ☀️🌊💋 send this to 🔟 of the SLUTTIEST 🚨🇬🇷HELLENIC HOTTIES 🇬🇷🚨 you know 🤔 💬if you get 0️⃣ back your DMs are dry as HADES 🏜️🔥 and so is your 🐱🫣🤩 get 5️⃣ back and maybe a GOLDEN SHOWER 🌧️👑 will fall and get you PREGNANT 🤰☔️ get 🔟 back and daddy Zeus 🫦⚡️will CUM 💦 down from Mt OlymPUSSY and FUCK YOU ANIMAL STYLE 🐂🦆🐴 🥴🐳🤤

    According to the scientific logs found in the Mansion of Cinnabar Island, Vanity was born from a pregnant Steel

      According to the scientific logs found in the Mansion of Cinnabar Island, Vanity was born from a pregnant Steel, found deep in the jungles of Guyana, whose embryo had been tampered with to alter its DNA.
      source
      According to the scientific logs found in the Riot Mansion of Bennett Island, Sakha, Zanks was born from a pregnant Shanks, found deep in the jungles of Vietnam, whose embryo had been tampered with to alter its DNA. It was held and studied in the mansion where a scientist by the name Zellsis performed horrific gene-splicing experiments that made it vicious and extremely powerful. It eventually broke free of the Mansion, destroying it in the process, and fled. It can be encountered in Cerulean Cave, accessible only after a Radiant has proven their skill on Fracture.

      Lamelo Ball car

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        A few months ago I was in downtown Charlotte for a business conference. I was standing on a street corner waiting for a cross signal when I'm blinded by the headlights of the tackiest Cybertruck I've ever seen. It swings around the corner, literally a few feet in front of me, windows down, and who do I see but Lamelo Ball looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the street. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

Anyways, yeah I wouldn't get in Lamelo's car either.

        Kelvin Benjamin

        A few months ago I was at Golden Corral for a business conference. I was standing at the dessert bar waiting for a serving spoon when I'm blinded by the speed of the hungriest customer I've ever seen. He swings around the corner, literally a few inches in front of me, tongue out, and who do I see but Kelvin Benjamin looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the buffet line. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

        My favorite Rapidash… It… cute… lovely… smart… plus… amazing… you think so?

          In the original Pokémon game you’ll go to the Pokémon Fan Club Chairman to receive a Bike Voucher to progress further. But before that he’ll go on a tangent on how much he likes Rapidash and says it in a sort of creepy sort of sexual way that made it iconic. 

          My favorite Rapidash... It... cute... lovely... smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes... it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it... when... sleeping... warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing... ...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want you to have this! 
           <player> received the bike voucher! 
          Good! Then listen up! My favorite Rapidash... It... cute... lovely... smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes...it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it...when... sleeping...warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing... ...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want you to have this!

          I thought using loops was cheating

            Its an old joke within the music production community about whether using loops and samples are cheating. Apparently it came from Splice (music creation platform) on Facebook back in 2014.

            I thought using loops was cheating, so I programmed my own using samples. I then thought using samples was cheating, so I recorded real drums. I then thought that programming it was cheating, so I learned to play drums for real. I then thought using bought drums was cheating, so I learned to make my own. I then thought using premade skins was cheating, so I killed a goat and skinned it. I then thought that that was cheating too, so I grew my own goat from a baby goat. I also think that is cheating, but I’m not sure where to go from here. I haven’t made any music lately, what with the goat farming and all.

            Angela Anaconda caused my parent’s divorce

              The ‘Angela Anaconda Digimon movie crossover caused my parent’s divorce’ was a 4chan story by a user claiming that the short crossover that played at the start of the Digimon movie eventually led to his parent’s divorce. The story was so amusing that everyone made memes about it and eventually the short was uploaded to YT for posterity.

              >Didn't know at the time that parents relationship was rocky
>I beg to go see Digimon movie
>Parents agree but I don't realize it's for them to spend some time together as well
>Get to theater and excited about Digimon flick
>Can even afford popcorn and drinks
>Parents look happy
>Angela Anaconda short comes on
>Parents also dont speak very good English
>My lil bay mind can't comprehend all the fuck going on
>Parents are utterly confused by this Canadian fuck running around in a Digimon suit
>I start crying and they pull me out of the theater
>Mom and Dad start blaming each other for going to the wrong film
>Dad throws away the popcorn Mom wanted
>Lots of arguing and I'm still crying
>Get out to parking lot and drive off in a rush
>Get into an accident in parking lot
>Dad moves out a month later

Fucking bitch of a whore Angela Anaconda ruined my life