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Boston Tea Party anniversary

    Life 💋 liberty 🎉 and the pursuit of CUNTness 🏳️‍🌈✨ 💋✨🫖 The OG tea 🫖🍵 spill was on 🎉✨🏴‍☠️💅 12/16/1773 🌊💔👀 when some mASSHOLES 💃🌈 said "No taxes 💸❌, no tyranny 👑🔥!" and yeeted that tea 🍵🚢💅 right overboard ⛵🍃 they served Boston Harbor realness 💦💄✨and there was no milk 🥛👎🙅🏻‍♂️ they said King George⁉️ we don’t know her 💅👑❌🤡🔥 👠💅 Fast-forward ⏩🕒 to today 🗓️📅 12/16/24 and baby 😏✨ we queens 🏳️‍🌈💋 are still spilling tea 🍵💣🍷like it’s brunch 👠💃🍳✨ It was 🎂🎆 a revolution 💥🏳️‍🌈 for bottoms 🍑✨ and Boston alike 🚩🏴‍☠️ No taxation 🤑❌, only serving 🍸🍹✅ a side of Daddy Issues 🫦💔 💥👑 Tea Party FOREVER 🎉💅👑 Send this to 10 GAYtriots 🇺🇸🦅🏳️‍🌈if you get none back you’ll get tea bags 🫖🍑 flyin’ in your face 😉😏🍆🍑💦if you get 5 back your tea 🫖🍵 will be SPILLED 💦 if you get 10 back your whigs will be SNATCHED 👩‍🎤🔥if you get 15 back you’ll RECLAIM your HERSTORY 📜✨ 🏳️‍🌈

    Wright Brother’s day

      Happy ⛄ Daddy 😘😍 Wright Brother’s 👨 day 🌞💐 from 👉 one 1️⃣ FREAKquent flier to another. 4️⃣ They 💁 may 🌌 have 🔵😤 altered aerospace history, 📜 but YOU 👀👈 altered ally-space HERstory with your 🚹 own panty dropping 👄🍑 mechanical 🤖🦾 propeller. Hope 🏿🙏 someone 💀 takes 💅 you 👈🏼😂👉🔥 down 🔽⤵️🔽⤵️🔽⤵️ to the KITTY 🐱 hawk dunes and shows 📺📦 you 🤟 twelve 🕧 seconds 🥈🥈🥈 of sky 🤡 high 🔊 PLEASURE. 🙏 Send 🔥 this to 10 of your 🍆 best 🏆🥇 WINGwomen or be 🐝 faced 👦 with a ROUGH ✋🏼 landing. 🛬

      National Maple Syrup Day

        GOOD 👌👍🏾 EVENING 🌝🌃 YOU 😊 DIRTY GUZZLERS IT’S NATIONAL 😝 MAY-POLE SYRUP DAY 💯🙎🏼💁🏼‍♂️ AND WE’RE 👪👏 GETTING 🍌💦 PREPARED CLIMB 🧗‍♂️ THOSE 😘 TREES 🎄 AND SUCK 🍭 THE TREE-CUM OUT 😛😝 RIGHT 🎊 FROM 😮🐣 THE SOURCE 🚨😔 DID 👏 U 🦿🦿 KNOW 👌 THAT 😳 IT TAKES 💅 40 🎂🤪😈 LITERS OF DICK 🍆 JUICE 🥤 TO TURN 🦷 INTO 🤓 ONE 🔂 LITER OF THAT 💂🏽‍♀️ ROPEY LIQUID 🚰 GOLD 🥇 YOU 👈 ALSO 😶 BE 🐝 READY 🤗😎 TO SHOUT 😡🤬💢 OUT 🤟 DADDY 👨👀🍆👅💦 BECUZ THESE 📀😍 POLES TAKE 👦😥 WHORE-TY YEARS 🥵 TO BECUM 🎉📈 ERECT 🚸⚠️⛔ ENOUGH 💦 TO SQUIRT 💦 THE NECTAR IS ALSO ➕ COCK-FULL OF NATURAL ⛰️🏞️🏕️ MINERALS AND ANTIOXIDANTS MEANING 👀😏 IN 📥 ADDITION TO SUCKING 💆🏻‍♀️🍆👅 DOWN ⬇️ THAT ❗ GOOD 👌 GOOD 😇 UR 👖 ALSO 👨 GETTING 🉐 HEALTHIER SO RAISE 🙋🏽‍♀️ A GLASS 🍸 PUCKER YOUR 😥🏼 MOUTH 😄 LIPS 💋 AND SUCK 👅👄 LIKE 👍 MRS. 🤶 SLUTTERWORTH’S LIFE 💓 DEPENDS ON 🔛 IT

        Friday the 13th

          It’s Friday the 13th💀💀📅 U 👻superstitious 👻 ass hoes!👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 U better watch 👀 UR back🍑🦂🦂today!!📅 Jason🎭🏒☠🔪🗡 big dick 8==✊🏻=D💦 👅 Vorhees is on the prowl🐕 and he’s ready 2 pound🍆🔥⚒ 🙀🙀!! Send📨🔜🔜📬 this 2, 10 of UR Daddy hungry👨🏻👅, Sugar Baby👶🏼👶🏼 friends or he’s going to 🐏🐏 Ram 🐏🐏it deep in Ur ass🗡🍑🗡. Get None back and U an Unlucky 🚫🍀 Dead ass bitch💀💀⚰⚰!! Get 5 back and Ur a Bloody ASS mess🔪🍑💢💦❣ Get 10 back 🆒🆒 and U 1 lucky thot ASS Hoe!🍀💦👅💁🏻💯 Hurry before Ur Luck runs out! 🎭🚷🍀☠ Cuz He’s Cumming 4 U 💦💦👅🏃🏽!!
          Are you ready 🤔❓to get SPOOKED👻😱😱👻? In the ASS! 🍆💦🍑😏😏. Friday the 13th is CUMMING 💦💦👅 up soon! Go out and get you a Freddy👹🙀 or Jason👀👅 to MURDER🔪 your PUSSY 🐱👅You may have some bad luck 😟😖and no good DICK🍆💦👎🏼👎🏼, but if you pass this on to 1️⃣3️⃣ spooky💀👽👻 floozies👄, you'll have some GOOD FUCK! 😩😩🍆💦😜😜. Get 3️⃣ back and you'll have SPOOKY SEX🍆💦👅. Get 7️⃣ back to be the SPOOKIEST 😱 little bitch 🙎🏼the DEVIL 😈 ever FUCKED! 👅💦. Get 1️⃣3️⃣ back and you'll be orgasming😫😵 into another realm 😈🕳by some SPOOKY ASS DICK🍆💦😩Send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ SPOOKY ASS HOES💀💅🏼 who want that MONSTER 👹COCK🍆💦👅
          Today 👉🏼🗓 is Friday the 13th!👻🔪 That means BAD LUCK ❌🍀❌ is everywhere today.
Don’t walk 🏃🏼 under ladders, climb up 📈👆🏼them and hop on that DICK! 🍌💦😫 Even difficult times 😤⏰can be full opportunity✨, keep hustling! 💯💪🏼
Send 📲 this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your friends👯 to get lucky 😏👅🍑. Get 7️⃣ back, you’re a true hoe-rror fan! 💚🎃💚 Get 0️⃣ back, and you have triskaiDICKaphobia! 💔🙀
          Its Friday the 13th sluts 🗓 🤡 and daddy Leatherface is full from all the juicy flesh 🥒💦 he’s been eating 😋😩👅 and is going to explode all over you thots 👄🍆💥! You sluts love his juicy liquids 🍌💦💦! Daddy Krueger 😩🤡 is going to visit you tonight 💤🙀 and nut inside you 😜😍💦 with his deep long thicc gripper 🤜👅👀 only if you’re a slutty girl 🤰🤰👄. So don’t ❌ disappoint daddy ❌ else no ❗️long machete up your ass ❗️Get your wet diaper on 💧🚼💧 and scream at scary ⚠️Jason Vorhees⚠️ as he crawls 🙀👣👅 with his crystal dick 👅💦💦 into your tight ass 🙀🙀 💦💦😱🔪 . Send this to 🔟 of your wettest 💦😫💧 sluttiest 🤰👅💦 hoes who are begging 🙏🙏👀 for a big presence! Else no 🔞⚠️ hot cummies tonight ❗️❗️Get 3️⃣ back and you get a helping hand 💅👈✊ from Freddy, 5️⃣ back and Leatherface will eat 👄😈💦 your dick, 🔟 back and Jason will put it up ☝️🤤🤤 your tight ass 🔝🔜🔛. Hurry, only one yummy night 🤤😈🍆🍑
          🆘BITCHES🆘 It's Friday👍🏼📅 the THOT-teenth🙀😩😛 it's time ⏳🕑 for all the cock gobbling thotties 🍆👀 to suck some Freddy Krueger DICK🔪, but only if you read this👅💦💦! send this to🔟of your sluttiest👌👈💦 Elm Street hoes👯 👄who want😁🙋🖐 to get nutted 🌰👅 on tonight 😩🙌 👌or get NO🙅🏼🚫scary cummies👻☠💦 from your ⚠️serial killer⚠️ daddy😈🙀😩💦 If you get 5️⃣ back, you're a chainsaw MASSACRE🙀🤐😵 If you get 🔟 back, you're a true HORROR slut👻😼😩Now go get some monster cock you thotties🙀🍆👻😛 
          Hey you, 🎃🕷️spooky lil' slut🎃🕸️! It's 🩸FREAKY FRIDAY🩸, aka 😈Friday the Thirst-Teenth😈, you already know what time it is—time to let that bad luck 🍆🪓🍆 bend you over and wreck your weekend, you busted broken mirror bitch🪞🔪😈. Back in the day, witches🧙🏾‍♀️🪄✨💫 and cock-starved goblins🧛‍♂️🦇🍆 were out here hexing husbands💍🔮🕯️👻 and stealing big demon dicks from hell👹🔥🍑😈. If you don’t send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your trashiest haunted hoes👠👻🦇💀🦴, get ready to swallow 👅7️⃣ years of soft dick 🍆😭and zero orgasms💀😵‍💫

Get 6️⃣ back and you’re a basic-ass crystal slut🔮🌙✨💫 with a cursed coochie🍑🌚🕳️🕸️. Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you’re a ladder-licking freak🪜. Get all 1️⃣3️⃣ and you’re the baddest luck-sucking hoe👑🍆👅🕯️, with blessed bussy powers that keep you gagging on ghost cock 🍆👻💀💦🕳️ for eternity🕯️🔮🦇🖤.

Happy 🕯️🕸️FUCKED UP FRIDAY THE 13TH🕯️⚡️🕸️🎃, and don’t forget: if you ain’t breaking mirrors🪞🪴🌿🌙 and sucking that unlucky dick🍆🌩️🌀🌪️, are you even a freaky hoe? Go out there and fuck with the dark magic🌑🔮🦇🖤, you tragic slut💀🖤🌙🦴.
          Hey you, 🕷️spooky lil sluts 🕸️! It's 🩸FREAKY FRIDAY🩸, aka 😈Friday the FREAK-Teenth 🗓1️⃣3️⃣😈 There's only 48 days until THOT-O-WEEN🎃‼️so celebrate early and go out and get your 👀👅 hole 8️⃣8️⃣8️⃣👅🕳️Just because 👀you'll have bad 😰luck🍀🚫doesn't mean you can't have a good👌fuck 💏🛌If you don’t send this to 1️⃣3️⃣ of your superstitious sluts👠👻🦇💀🦴, get ready for a 👅7️⃣ years of a dry spell 🌵and bad luck. Get 3️⃣ back and you get fingered 💅🗡️ by Daddy Krueger🩸👺 Get 5️⃣ back and you'll get a phat plate 🍽️of Fettuccine Afraid-O 🍝🧀😱 
          Do not stop reading🔦 or we will cum 💦💦for you. ITS Friday the 1️⃣3️⃣!! This👇🏼day is 🙆🏻unlucky😩QUICK‼️Get lucky bi 🍑sending➡️ this message 2 🔟of ur sexiest thots💦if u do👉🏼then u will get lucky everyday🗓in DICKCEMBER🍆🍆if🍆you🍆know👄what😫i💋mean…👀 watch out🏃🏽if u don’t send this 😨 then uR vape 🌬will not workANYMORE😵HURRY😳u only hav 5️⃣ minutes 2 sav ur 👄💨Vape and get sum🍆🍆dick in ur🍑😫😫😫this DICKCEMBER

          I have an insatiable Kevin Brittingham fetish

            Kevin Brittingham copypasta

            Its originally the “I have an insatiable minion rape fetish” copypasta but changed to Kevin Brittingham, the founder of Q; a company that specializes in making silencers. He is often clowned online for perpetuating a tough guy persona in his social media. 

            I have an insatiable Kevin Brittingham fetish. It is my ultimate fantasy to be gagged, tied up, and brutally assfucked by Kevin Brittingham.

I have accrued tens of thousands in debt attempting to fill this void with sexual 'toys,' including several custom, unregistered form 1 silencer dildos and a balding Kevin-shaped real doll with a tramp stamp that reads "Take My Bepsi Challenge" in Chinese characters. I have had my face made love to by hundreds of balding, bearded, gen Xers, but not one of them could make me climax. Only Kevin is capable of giving me that release.

The wife and I are separated, and have accepted the fact that I will never see my kids again. The only thing keeping Karen from divorcing me is the fear that she might be the final push into a deep. inescapable abyss, at the bottom of which lies my death.

The truth is, our marriage died nine years ago on the night I met the love of my life. While browsing Instagram I saw Kevin's inconsistent welds and became rock hard, collapsing in the shower and sobbing at the realization that Kevin would never, could never, pin me down with his perfectly smooth body and stubby arms, penetrate me with his incredible shallow girth and empty his huge, aching balls deep inside my tummy. I sat there all night, sometimes weeping, sometimes ramming my flaccid dick into the shower drain in frustration.

It has been nine years since that night. I have nothing now. I have accepted that. My apartment is a squalid den of inescapable despair, filled with jizz-stained 300 blackout shells and tormented notes etched onto lewd posters of the honey badger. I spend my days printing out screenshots of his forum posts and crying. My only friends are the roaches.

            Non ne posso più. Sono stufo di Xiangling.

              Sono stufo di Xiangling copypasta

              Its the Xiangling copypasta but in Italian.

              Non ne posso più. Sono stufo di Xiangling. Provo a giocare Diluc. La mia Xiangling fa più danni. Provo a giocare Yoimiya. La mia Xiangling fa più danni. Provo a giocare Hu Tao. La mia Xiangling fa più danni. Voglio giocare Klee. La sua squadra migliore ha Xiangling. Voglio giocare con Raiden, Childe. Entrambi vogliono Xiangling.

Mi prende per il collo. Pesco per lei. Cucino per lei. Le do la The Catch. Non è soddisfatta. Pullo l'Engulfing Lightning. "Non ne ho bisogno di così tanta ER" mi dice. "Dammi più tempo sul terreno." Afferra Bennett e lo costringe a lanciarsi contro i nemici. "Devi solo darmi più particelle. Posso fare più danni con la Homa."

Non posso pullare per la Homa, non ho abbastanza Primogemme. Prende la mia carta di credito. Viene declinata. "Immagino che questa sia la fine." Afferra Gouba. Lei dice "Gouba, prendili". Non c'è nemmeno una traccia di tristezza nei suoi occhi. Nient'altro che pura, applicazione di pyro senza ICD. Che mondo crudele.