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New York Mets unbridled optimism

    Unbridled optimism copypasta

    AKA the New York Mets or unbridled optimism copypasta, its a rant post from a Yankees fan on r/baseball that became a meme.

    Their unbridled optimism just shows how fucking immature most of them are. One hot ten-game stretch and they're ready to claim the division over the nationals and declare themselves "Kings of New York again? Give me a break. That shit lasted a cool five minutes the last time they made it to the postseason. The callers on WFAN are just horrendous. I appreciate the average Yankee fan since generally they seem to be a lot more educated on the dynamic of baseball season, especially during this cold streak when our guys aren't hitting. Nobody is hitting the panic button. But every Met fan I know will be quick to point out "LOL youre 4 games behind the Red Sox, money doesn't buy wins" like shut the fuck up our entire core is home grown you fucks. Talk to me again when your rotation can survive a full season.

And holy shit, I can't wait until their bullpen fucking implodes because there's no way their relievers can maintain this pace all season. But even guys like Joe and Evan that I respect are saying that the Mets pen is comparable to our pen like give me a break, in your dreams.

    Original (2018)

    I don't mind the Islanders...but goddamn, their fans are just god-awful.

Their unbridled optimism just shows how fucking immature most of them are. One season series sweep and they're ready to claim the division over the Capitals and declare themselves "Kings of New York again? Give me a break. That shit lasted a cool five minutes the last time they made it to the postseason. The callers on WFAN are just horrendous. I appreciate the average Ranger fan since generally they seem to be a lot more educated on the dynamic of the Hockey season, especially during this cold streak when our guys are being traded away. Nobody is hitting the panic button. But every Isles fan I know will be quick to point out "LOL you're still over paying Queen Henrietta, money doesn't buy wins" like shut the fuck up our entire core is home grown you fucks. Talk to me again when your Captain signs a contract.

And holy shit, I can't wait until their Offense fucking implodes because there's no way their Centermen can maintain this pace all season. But even guys like Boomer and Boomer that I respect are saying that the Isles goalie is comparable to our goalie like give me a break, in your dreams.

    Conservatives: your anger is valid. But it’s being hijacked.

      Its a liberal copypasta attempting to convince conservatives to switch to the other side.

      Conservatives: your anger is valid. But it’s being hijacked.

You’re not losing your country because of “woke liberals.” You’re losing it because the powerful need someone to blame — and they picked “them” instead of themselves. Here’s how they fooled you:

🧵 1. You feel like you’re being left behind — and you’re not wrong.

Wages suck. Everything costs more. Your job feels disposable. The world moves fast and doesn’t care how hard you work. That’s real. But the people who caused it? Aren’t drag queens or gender studies majors.

🧵 2. They gave you a villain: “woke.”

They turned your real pain into a culture war. Instead of fixing anything, they convinced you the problem is:

 • Pronouns
 • Trans kids
 • College students
 • Diversity

Why? Because outrage is easier to sell, and it points the finger away from them.

🧵 3. You’re angry at liberals because they look like the elite.

They have degrees. They read the news. They live in cities. But those aren’t the people outsourcing your jobs, jacking up housing prices, or lobbying to keep your wages low. The real elite are laughing — at all of us.

🧵 4. You’ve been taught to hate what you don’t understand.

Because fear is easy to sell. Fear of immigrants. Of queer people. Of ideas you’ve never encountered. And every time you get mad at “them,” you’re doing exactly what they want. And it’s easier to throw hate at those you encounter in your community than billionaires you’ll never meet.

🧵 5. “Woke” isn’t ruining your life — billionaires are.

They’re stripping your benefits, privatizing healthcare, making record profits while you fight each other online about bathrooms. And while you’re arguing about flags or books, they’re buying your neighborhood.

🧵 6. You’re not conservative anymore — you’re reactive.

You’ve been trained to respond to every issue with rage, sarcasm, or mockery. Ask yourself: when was the last time you felt hopeful about a policy, a leader, or the future? Because they don’t want you hopeful. They want you mad.

🧵 7. The truth is: you’ve been lied to.

Not by your neighbors. Not by “the woke mob.” But by the people who need your vote, your loyalty, and your outrage — to stay rich and powerful while your life stays hard.

🧵 8. You deserve better.

You deserve healthcare. You deserve a living wage. You deserve to retire without fear. You deserve truth, not distraction. But to get that, you have to stop fighting the people who aren’t your enemy. 🚨 They told you the culture war was about values. It’s not. It’s about control. The more distracted you are, the less you’ll notice who’s robbing you. And right now, you’re willing to hand them the keys to your poverty and cheering any libtards while you do it.

/end

      Mouse Bites

        Mouse bites copypasta

        Its a House (TV series) copypasta satirizing the structure of an average House MD episode. It starts with the patient being close to death as a result of a treatment, then House prescribes an unusual treatment (in this case mouse bites) to nurse the patient back to health. Its a meme originating back from 2007 in a forum discussing House.

        CHASE: House, we need to cure this patient. He is very sick.
HOUSE: Did you try the medicine drug?
CHASE: I did try the medicine drug.
HOUSE: Only stupid people try the medicine drug. You are stupid.
PATIENT: I would rather not be sick.
HOUSE: You are stupid too. Did you take stupid drug?
FOREMAN: I gave patient stupid drug.
HOUSE: You are a black man.
FOREMAN: This vexes me.
PATIENT: I have blood from my nose that is dripping.
CAMERON: That's bad!
PATIENT: Also I was bitten by mice due to my poor hygiene.
CUTTY: You need hygiene drug. Also, I have not spoken in awhile.
HOUSE: No! Hygiene drug will kill Patient! He needs mouse bites to live!
CHASE: [Shocked]
CAMERON: [Shocked]
FOREMAN: [Vexed]
HOUSE: More mouse bites!
CUTTY: I forbid this.
HOUSE: Don't care.
CHASE: [Gets mice]
HOUSE: [Makes mouse bite serum]
PATIENT: I feel better. No more nose blood! Thank you doctor!
HOUSE: I am very smart.
WILSON: I, too, am in this episode.
FOREMAN: This vexes me.

~FIN~

        Part 2 (?)

        ..
PATIENT: I have blood from my nose that is dripping.
CAMERON: That's bad!
HOUSE: Puncture his lumbar!
FOREMAN: No! Its juice will leak! All lumbars need lumbar juice!
HOUSE: I say puncture his lumbar! I need his sweet lumbar juice for my leg, which is ouchy!
FOREMAN: [punctures lumbar]
HOUSE: [scowls at vial of lumbar juice] There are mice in this lumbar juice! I do not want it now! [Throws lumbar juice to the ground and glares] Also, I am high on goofballs!
PATIENT: Also I was bitten by mice due to my poor hygiene.
CUTTY: You need hygiene drug. Also, I have not spoken in awhile.
...

        STOP POSTING ABOUT BALATRO!

          Its the “STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US” meme but changed to Balatro.

          STOP POSTING ABOUT BALATRO! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME "Nope!", ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING HIGH CARD ANTE 29 RUNS! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just balatro stuff. I-I showed my casino license to my girlfriend and I said "hey babe, they made balatro a real thing" HAHA Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "HELL YEAH +1 DISCARD" I looked at my penis I think of BONANA and I go "WHEN YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME ON MY GROS MICHEL YOU DON'T DESERVE ME ON MY CAVENDISH " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG

          I showed osu! to a girl at work

            Originally from a post on r/osugame but has since become a meme and other variations of the pasta has been created.

            Osu

            She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the osu!demons inside me told me 'say it, Comfortable-Chip-740, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rhythm games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Big Black SS that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Balatro

            She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the madness joker inside me told me 'say it, Narso, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rogue-like games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Perkeo Baron Mime naninf 5 hour run that I uploaded months ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Old School Runescape

            I showed osrs to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the osrs demons inside me told me 'say it, Bwananabread, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play mmorpg games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a 500 invo ToA that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Guilty Gear

            I showed Strive to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the GGST demons inside me told me 'say it, mini_tagus, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play fighting games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found my EVO 2025 grand finals match that I uploaded to YouTube a year ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Bloons TD 6

            I showed BTD6 to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the BTD6 demons inside me told me 'say it, pinpunch, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play tower defense games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found my CHIMPS bloody puddles completion that I uploaded to YouTube a year ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Geometry Dash

            I showed Geometry Dash to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the GD demons inside me told me 'say it, ComicalSans1, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rhythm games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Blood Bath 100% that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'Geometry Dash isn't a rhythm game you idiot' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Brawl Stars

            I showed Brawl Stars to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah... nahh not really"

So the brawl stars demons inside me told me to 'say it, mRigged, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play Supercell games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess, so I quickly found a Power League Mortis Solo carry video that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool...!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyways I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely.

            Hypixel Skyblock

            I showed skyblock to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the skyblock demons inside me told me 'say it, ecylios, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play on hypixel skyblock, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a sub 4 f7 s+ run that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Chess

            I showed chess to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play board games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the chess demons inside me told me 'say it, sokuto_desu, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play chess, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a match that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Steins Gate

            I showed Steins;Gate to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you watch anime?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the S;G demons inside me told me 'say it, sokuto_desu, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I watch Steins;Gate, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found an episode that I watched years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Class of ’09

            I showed Class of '09 to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the '09 demons inside me told me 'say it, UzumakiMadeIt, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play Class of '09, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a playthrough of that one route with the pedo that I uploaded years ago, and she watched the full video in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            War Thunder

            I showed War Thunder to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the snail inside me told me 'say it, Romanian dude, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play war games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found the vid where an L3 gets brutally murdered, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            Five Nights at Freddy

            I showed Five Nights at Freddy’s to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the bear inside me told me 'say it, animdude, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play horror games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found the vid where the bite of 87 happens, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

            I wake up screaming. Cold sweats. The warm feeling of urine soaked sheets and Hasan Piker themed pajama bottoms a result of the incessant stress ive been under.

              source
              I wake up screaming. Cold sweats. The warm feeling of urine soaked sheets and Hasan Piker themed pajama bottoms a result of the incessant stress ive been under.

Im still safe. The election hasn’t happened yet- theres still hope.

My trans wife and her nonbinary partner comfort me. “Another one?” Xir asks. “Yeah”

I get changed, head into the kitchen and make myself a soylent shake to wash down the lorazepam and triflupromazine Ive had to be on since 2016. I add a few shots of canola oil because its a heart healthy fat (I trust the science), and my doctor says Im malnourished and exceedingly underweight for being a 30 year old male.

Trump has made my life a living nightmare. Fascism won. I sit down legs crossed (in order to not perpetuate toxic masculinity by taking up too much space where women exist). Unable to sleep, my mind ruminates on the possibility of ending up in a camp around this time next year. I hope it never comes to that. She has to win.