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I own a Vadarya Prime for home defense

    By u/megagamer20, its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the Vadarya Prime sniper rifle from Warframe.

    I own a Vadarya Prime for home defense, since that's what the The Seven intended. Four Dax break into my house. "What the devil?" I say as I grab my alt helmet and glorified railgun. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Euphona Prime on the second man and miss him entirely because I have Magnum Force equipped and nails the neighbors kubrow. I have to resort to the Felarx mounted at the top of the stairs modded for blast, "Tally ho, lads!" I say as the status effects shred two men in the blast, the sound and screams of the incarnon form set off the Altra sentinels. I draw my Dakra Prime and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since he's vulnerable to being killed for the plot. Just as the The Seven intended.

    I own a Kuva musket for home defense

    By u/MoonlitWolfheart, its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the Kuva weapons from Warframe.

    I own a Kuva musket for home defense, since that's what our Golden Lords intended. Four Grineer break into my Orbiter. "What the Indifference?" As I grab my Prime Syandanna and Chakkur rifle. Blow a Roller sized hole through the first clone, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Twin Rogga on the second clone, miss him entirely cuz of Magnum Force mod that halves my accuracy and nails the neighbour's Kubrow. I have to resort to the Corvas Prime flak cannon mounted atop my Necramech, loaded with grapeshot. "Tally ho, lads!" The grapeshot shreds two clones in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off another of Ordis' PTSD episodes. Fix Sheev dagger and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the Kuva Guards to arrive, since Sheev shred wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as our Golden Lords intended. 
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    byu/MoonlitWolfheart from discussion
    inmemeframe
    Own a Chakkhurr for home defense, since that's what the Lotus intended. Four Grineer break into my camp. "What the devil?" As I grab my pink rhino and explosive rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Angstrum on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and explodes the neighbors kubrow. I have to resort to the Zarr mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off landing craft alarms. Fix Skana and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the dropship to arrive since triangular sword wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the Lotus intended.

    Silksong made me gain my attraction to spiders

      Silksong made me gain my attraction to spiders
      byu/Life_Gift_3931 inSilksong
      I was taking a bath today when i noticed this tiny spider crawling on the wall.
      
      Typically i would freaked out and went haywire on it and had it neutralized in 0.1 seconds. This time? I couldnt stop looking at it with a fascinated look. I immediately got a silkboner. I began silking my song furiously. The spider silked down from the ceiling onto my face, and just when it landed, I went SHAW all over the place. My silk levels were depleted.
      
      Ive been scared of spiders my entire life and always get so eeked out, but with me now finishing up act 3 and getting 100% completion of the game, i feel really good about spiders honestly.

      CookieRun Kingdom saved my life

        Started as a bunch of shitpost rants from r/CookieRunKingdoms on how unoptimized the game is for a simple mobile game.

        Crk saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
        
        Then, inspiration struck. I opened up cookie run. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
        
        I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Black Lemonade, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
        
        I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Devsis. Crk saved my life.
        This is really heart warming a similar thing happened to me. I was in a hostage situation l, tied to a chair while being beaten and tortured after all of that happened I slowly but surely slipped out of the tied knot that was on my wrists. I could hear the kidnappers coming back so I didn't have much but then something clicked "CRK!" That was it so I pulled out my phone loaded CRK and put the most laggy cookies on a team hit play and threw my phone at the kidnappers. All I could hear was a big boom and was flash banged and then lights out. Next thing I know I wake up in the Hospital with an amputated leg and severe damage to my right arm but still usable. Unfortunately the kidnappers survived and were convicted. The kidnappers were two people named Ginger Brave (Who would name a child that must have been bullied) and Dragon Lord Cacao (Whoever this dude's parents are jail them). Thanks to this game's poor optimization I lived but with some damage to my body and mental trauma. Thanks Devsis. 

        WuWa saved my life

        WuWa saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
        
        Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Wuthering Waves. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
        
        I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Yinlin's ult, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
        
        I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Kurogames. WuWa saved my life.

        Limbus Company saved my life

        Limbus Company saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
        
        Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Limbus Company. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
        
        I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Lord Lu's S3, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
        
        I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Project Moon. Limbus Company saved my life.

        Sandbagging Culvert

          By u/addfzxcv who left a comment criticizing bad guild members in Mapplestory specifically for their contribution in Culvert score. The comment was brutally honest and has become a meme within the Mapplestory community.

          Run culvert early before event buffs expire. Some of your guys' scores are dogshit and I already have a list of whom I'm going to kick based on those if they don't improve, including sandbaggers. If you need help with your rotation message me and I will find someone to show you how to do it. Also, we shouldn't have to be spam pinging you guys at the last minute to get your runs in and it's literally fucking 5 minutes of your time per week, if you can't try your best for 5 minutes then let me know so I can give someone else your slot who wants to be here.
          

          Flame Rooster’s Death Defiance [炎鳥不死戦]

            Its the equivalent of Jax E copypasta but for Heathcliff from Limbus Company. Its essentially the character skill name and its description used as a copypasta.

            Flame Rooster's Death Defiance [炎鳥不死戦]
            
            In this Encounter, when this unit takes damage that brings their HP down to 0, nullify that damage; then, this unit's HP cannot drop below 1 for the turn.
            Then, at the next Turn Start, heal (20 + Burn on self)% HP, and remove all Burn on self (max 49%; once per Encounter)

            The problem with the ken hate is that a lot of it is complete bullshit.

              By u/MaximumIce5632, its for Kenneth “Kenny” Williams or KuavoKenny who is a professional Call of Duty esports player, currently a player for Los Angeles Thieves.

              The problem with the ken hate is that a lot of it is complete bullshit. People perceive Kenny as bitching to his team and being a cry baby, when in reality, he is only trying to make them better. People haven't played team sports in their life and it shows. When Kenny drops a 0.5, he is preparing his team for the worst, making sure that, in dire situations, his team will be prepared and conditioned to go extra hard. Pressure makes diamonds and he knows that, which is why is way ahead of his time. Kenny is so high IQ, that he intentionally plays bad at the beginning of the year so that his teammates can be conditioned quick. this ensures by the end of the year when the team hasn't won a single event, they will be hungrier than ever. Lastly, people complain about Kenny YY'ing. This is Ken's way of aura farming. Every time kenny YY's, the crowd roars, the lights flicker, and the ground shakes. The announcers lower their tone as their jaws slowly descend from their face. He feels the surging of testosterone flowing in his veins so that he can conquer all. This is kenny's way of asserting dominance over his peers. A primal, hungry Kuavo Ken is nothing to scoff at. When he puts that head band on, licks his lips, and moves that index finger to his Y button... Be prepared. Nothing will save you from the wrath of the legend, kuavo ken.