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Capella is… like… peak goon material

    Capella copypasta from Re:Zero S3
    Bro, I can’t even explain it. Capella is… like… peak goon material. Yeah, I know she’s objectively horrifying, yeah, her personality is toxic but you can’t tell me there isn’t a certain energy there. I’m out here like a whole clown, willingly simping for a woman who shapeshifts into nightmares. This is some next-level Stockholm Syndrome. Like, yeah, I get it, I’m not right in the head, but look, her wings? Majestic. Her aura of literal terror? Lowkey attractive. Every time I think, ‘That’s it, I’m done with Capella,’ she goes and does something despicable, and boom—I’m back in goon mode. I know she’s bad news. I know it. But I’m already halfway down the rabbit hole, and I’m not about to stop now. Call it a personality flaw. Call it a curse. All I know is, Capella has got me locked up like the DMV on a Friday afternoon, and I’m out here willingly. Help. Send therapy. 

    THE LEDGE GIVETH, AND THE LEDGE TAKETH AWAY.

      Ledge copypasta from For Honor

      Its a meme within For Honor where players joke that the ledges in the game are of higher power that blesses or curses anyone who play around them. The real explanation is that some ledges in the game are janky causing some falls to not happen.

      REJOICE, FOR YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN
      
      THE LEDGE GIVETH, AND THE LEDGE TAKETH AWAY.
      
      SOME ARE BLESSED BY THE LEDGE, ORDAINED BY IT. THEY ARE PROPHETS OF THE LEDGE, AND SHALL DEFY GRAVITY ITSELF.
      
      THE REST ARE MERE SACRIFICES TO THE LEDGE, NEVER SAFE FROM IT’S GRASP, FROM IT’S REACH, FROM IT’S VAST EMPTINESS.
      
      I AM ONE WITH THE LEDGE, THE LEDGE IS WITH ME!
      THE LEDGE GIVETH AND IT TAKETH AWAY 

      Bastion is a way of life

        A few years ago in Overwatch, a player by the name SniperSmurf29 made this speech on a Lunar Colony game (“Bastion is a Way of Life” on YouTube) and ever since then, players have been using his speech at the beginning of their game specifically when they pick Bastion.

        It's nice to meet you, but it's even better to meet me. My name is SniperSmurf. I have 290 hours with Bastion in total and I specialize in sticking it straight up their fuckin culo. Bastion is a way of life for me. I go in there, I bend them over, I open their cheeks nice and wide, I get a nice, clear view of their colon, prostate, and the coccyx, and I knucklefuck them all the way up to the palm, right up the butt cut, so they feel a burning sensation deep in the ass-pussy like IcyHot. Bastion is a way of life for me, I never change my character, fuck you. If at any point during the match you want me to change characters, I will gladly suggest you go fuck yourself. I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you wanna give orders, give them to eachother, don't you dare bring that shit to me. All I know how to do is go in there, get a lot of poopoo on my peeter, and a lot of shit on my dick from sticking it straight up their ass. Now let's go team.

        Full transcript

        Hello itstherubyness it's nice to meet you but it's even better to meet me. My name is SniperSmurf. I have 290 hours with Bastion in total and I specialize in stickin' it straight up their fuckin' culo. Bastion is a way of life for me. Go in there, I bend em over, I open their cheeks nice and wide, I get a nice clear view of the colon, prostate, and the coccyx, and I knucklefuck em all the way up to the palm right up the buttcunt, so they feel a burning sensation deep in the asspussy like ICYHOT. Bastion is a way of life for me, I never change my character fuck you. If at any point during the match you want me to change characters, I gladly suggest you go fuck yourself. I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you wanna give orders, give them to eachother, don't you dare bring that shit to me. All I know how to do is go in there, get a lotta poopoo on my Peter, and a lot of shit on my dick from stickin' it straight up their ass. Now, let's go team. 

        Keemstar FortressCraft rant

          Keemstar FortressCraft rant

          Its an old video of Keemstar (pre DramaAlert) defending FortressCraft after a couple of people from Machinima with Notch (creator of Minecraft) called FortressCraft names during an interview. Keemstar was supposedly the PR person for FortressCraft and Machinima has formally apologized and pulled the interview.

          All right, I gotta set the record straight. Something is really pissing me off. Notch took another game and ripped it off and made Minecraft. All right, all right. If we're gonna call stuff a rip off, let's call it what it is? Notch, took another game. Ripped it off, created Minecraft. Now, Notch comes over to Machinima. All right, and he's sitting next to these dudes and they meet them and ladededah and these little fucking Fanboys at Machinima realm. Yeah, you faggots at Machinima realm that work there. All right, talk shit about my fucking game Fortress craft saying, it's a rip off and that Fortress craft could go suck a fucking dick. This motherfucker with a t-shirt with two horses fucking each other with rainbows talking about Fortress Craft could suck a dick motherfucker. You got another homo sitting right next to you that looks like Abe Lincoln fuck him. Go to this video right now and send your fucking FAG hate. I'm unleashing all these motherfuckers on you. You don't fucking talk shit about me and my fucking game, or I'm gonna fucking talk shit about your whole goddamn crew. And fucking bring you down to your fucking knees where you can actually suck a fucking cock faggot. 
          Alright, I gotta set the record straight, something is REALLY pissing me off. Notch took another game and ripped it off and made Minecraft. Alright? If we're gonna call stuff a ripoff, let's call it what it is. Notch took another game, ripped it off, created Minecraft. Now Notch comes over to Machinima, alright? And he's sitting next to these dudes and they meet up and blablabla, and these little fucking FANBOYS at Machinima Realm YEAH YOU FAGGOTS AT MACHINIMA REALM THAT WORK THERE, alright? Talk shit about MY fucking game, fortresscraft? Sayin that it's a ripoff and tha- that fortresscraft can go suck a fuckin' dick? This motherfucker with a t-shirt with 2 horses fuckin' each other with rainbows? Talking about fortresscraft can suck a dick? Motherfucker? You got another homie sitting right next to you that looks like Abe Lincoln! FUCK HIM! Go over to this video right now and send your fucking F.A.G hate, I'm unleashing all these motherfuckers on you. You fuck, don't fucking talk shit about me and my fucking game, or I'm gonna fuckin' talk shit about your whole goddamn crew and fuckin' bring you down to your fucking knees, where you can actually suck a fucking cock, faggot. 

          I get genuinely aroused by being dominated by enemy players in tf2

            I get genuinely aroused by being dominated by enemy players in tf2. this sounds like a copypasta but I'm genuinely losing my mind over this. i feel like this is just general submissiveness but whenever I play tf2 I instantly lose any kind of desire to actually get any kills and that desire switches in less than a minute to pure slutty thrist, I need to let the entire enemy team inside me. I was in a turbine server and then the entire enemy team ended up dominating me on the scoreboard while I imagined them random-critting my holes. God help me. also, I'm a pyro and scout main. 

            anyone can drink monster HOWEVER ppl should be mindful that it is part of emo

              anyone can drink monster HOWEVER ppl should be mindful that it is part of emo / goth culture so drinking it / taking pics with it for an ‘ aesthetic ‘ if ur not alt can actually be considered offensive so just b careful !!
              Anyone can drink monster HOWEVER ppl should b mindful that it is a part of the emo / goth culture so drinking it / taking pics w it for ‘aesthetic’ if ur not alt can actually be considered offensive to just b careful!!!