"Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Even wolves. But not books. Not words. Words don't die."
--my son, 3, who is a lot smarter than I am Oh fuck off Rebecca he did not say that 
My mom just got banned from Hasans streams after three years of being one of his biggest fans
my mom has been loyal to this man and a part of the community for three years, she watches him all day every day. when he was speaking Turkish today, she said "talk turkey to me daddy" and has been fully banned for a week with no way to contact moderators. why????? not a warning, not banned from chatting, fully banned from viewing his live streams.
Update: thank you guys so much for getting my mom unbanned 😭😭😭 actually insane, I never expected that. However, she said she feels like she got broken up with and she needs time apart from him 😞 so it may be a day or two before she re follows him lmao Walter White is given mic to make a speech while the school is gathered to honor the victims of a terrible plane accident he indirectly caused. He knows his role and is trying to mitigate the innocent lives he’s killed.
" I guess what I would want to say is to look on the bright side. First of all, nobody on the ground was killed, and that–I mean, an incident like this over a populated urban center–that right there, that's–that's just gotta be some minor miracle, so... Plus, neither plane was full. You know, the–the 737 was–was what? Maybe two-thirds full, I believe? Right, yes? Or maybe even three-quarters full. On any rate, what you're left with casualty-wise is just the 50th-worst air disaster. Actually, tied for 50th. There are, in truth, 53 crashes throughout history that are just as bad or worse. Tenerife? Has–has anybody–anybody heard of Tenerife? No? In 1977, two fully-loaded 747s crashed into each other on Tenerife. Does anybody know how big a 747 is? I mean, it's way bigger than a 737, and we're talking about two of them. Nearly 600 people died from Tenerife. But do any of you even remember it at all? Any of you? I doubt it. You know why? It's because people move on. They just move on. And we will, too. We will move on and we will get past this. Because that is what human beings do, we survive. And, uh... we survive, and we–we overcome. We survive. We survive, and..." 
The copypasta is a mockery of Logan Kilpatrick’s habit of tweeting just the word ‘gemini’. For context he is the product lead for Google AI Studio.
"Hey Google, dim the lights please.", I say as I sit in my reclining chair. The blinds are closed. The doors are locked. I have my lotion at the ready on my adjustable height coffee table. I can barely contain myself as I unzip my pants with one hand, clutching my phone in the other. I proceed to write the most asinine braindead tweet and watch the likes pour in, every notification another stroke. I am Logan Kilpatrick. 
By u/ser_einhard19, its the ‘Own a musket for home defense’ copypasta but changed to Dungeon & Dragons (DnD).
I was relaxing in my stronghold one night when suddenly 30-300 orcs burst into the door! “What the Illusionist?” I shout as I grab my +1/+3 vs goblinoids longsword. Run the first one through, deal 1d8+3 damage, he’s dead on the spot. Throw a dagger at the next one, completely whiff because I don’t understand how THAC0 works and nail the neighbor’s hireling. I have to resort to the scroll of lightning bolt in a chest at the top of the stairs. FIRE! Blow a giant hole in the third one’s chest but I almost die cuz the stairs are only 10ft long and the spell rebounds. The last one charges and I have to grab my lance and use my dwarven “set spear” ability to deal with the him, but he didn’t check for traps and falls into a conveniently placed 20-foot-deep pit. He tries to wait for a random encounter for backup but it’s just fifteen completely ordinary donkeys so he bleeds out. Just as TSR intended. 
🔥🥵🥵🔥 UH OH 🔥🥵🥵🔥! It looks like JIZZrael 💦🇮🇱 and the 🇺🇸 United States have Ass🍑-Ass🍑 inated Ayatollah Ali Cum-in-me of Iran 💦🥵🇮🇷💀. Big Donnie decided that 🇺🇸🍆American Dickplomacy 🍆🇺🇸 wasn’t working anymore and decided to take his BIG 😤 FAT 🎅🏻 tomacock 🪓🍆 missiles 🍆 and shoot a big deadly load at Cum-in-me 💦🥵🇮🇷. The supreme leader👳♂️🇮🇷 got on his knees🧎 and said “give me everything you’ve got daddy 🙏😩💦” but couldn’t handle all of those big meat 🍖 missiles 🍆 by himself. It’s a shame he won’t get to watch the 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️⚧️ pride World Cuck ⚽️🏟️💺game as 🇮🇷 Iran and 🇪🇬 Egypt try to score with each other 💋💄🍆😮 for 9️⃣0️⃣ HOLE minutes this summer. Lucky for him he can watch from the gay Barzakh 🏳️🌈🍸 in heaven and get more tomacock 🪓🍆 from his 7️⃣2️⃣ virgins 🤓.
Send this message to 🔟 of your closest friends📞📱. If you get 0️⃣ back, you’re only touching BB’s 👴🏻🇮🇱 PP 🍆🍆. Get 5️⃣ back and you can slap Trump’s rump 💇🏼♂️👏🍑. Get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting supreme cream from Cum-in-Me’s 💦🥵🇮🇷 7️⃣2️⃣ virgins 🤓🤓 💥💥🔥 OOPSIE 🇺🇸💣💣!!! Looks like the US 👊👊 just CUMmenced a 🔥🔥 war with Iran 🍆🍆💦💦 time to STROKE 🤚🤚 the flames 🔥🔥 of conflict 💀🔪! Those 😈😈 CUMbatants 🪖🎖️are about to get SHOCKED ⚡⚡ by the American DICKtatorship 🍆💦 in an all-out ASSault 💢🍑💢! Strap on your ⚔️💥 gear, we’re going into BANG BANG 💣💣 territory, where every missile 🚀🍆 is going to land like a 💦💦 SPRAY of cum 🌊🌊 on their poppers 😏😏! Get ready for some BACK AND FORTH 🎯💋 exchange, if ya know what I mean 😉😉! Let’s see who can go the distance 🌍💪 in this HARDCORE CUMbatt! 🍑🔥💦💦💦 Slide into those trenches 🌍🏴☠️ and get STEAMED up for some REAL combat 💥💥, because this ASS-kicking is gonna get FREAKY! 🍆🍑😈🔥💣💦 🚂 Chugga chugga CHOO CHOO 🚂 I don’t want to say AYATOLLAH you so, but AYATOLLAH YOU SO!!!! The 🦅🇺🇸USA🇺🇸🦅 (aka the ULTIMATE SPANKER of ASS👏🍑) and its ABSOLUTE BOY 👨❤️💋👨👬💦🇮🇱JIZZ-RAEL🇮🇱💦 just ran a train🚂🚅 on IRAN🇮🇷. Our REAL ESTATE AGENT IN CHIEF🦧🏛️ just wrapped his BIG HANDS (🫲so big, the biggest🫱) around HO-MEINI’s waist and gave him THE MISSLE OF JUSTICE 🚀🚀🚀right in the OIL WELL 🚀 🕳️ 🍑 🙇🏽♂️while BIBI played with HEZBALLAHz 🤌🍒and put his WIWI 🥒STRAIGHT in the💋WHORE-MUZ💋for some IRON DOME 🫨. It be REGIME CHANGE SZN bitchezz 🫦and we givin the DICK👉👌🏻 to DICK-TATORz. Send 💌this to 🔟 of your closest ALLIES or get ur CUNTRY invaded