The infamous ‘Insert train copypasta’, ‘Please put a NSFW’ or ‘NSFW while I was on the train’ copypasta that started on Reddit and is commonly used whenever you see a horny post.

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

Please put an NSFW tag on this 😭💢💢💢. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating 😱. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” 🤬💢 and “call the police” 👮‍♂️. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image 😏. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image 😩. This is all your fault 👺💢💢💢, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW 😡🚫💢💢💢💢💢 

Dear brother, i plead you to apply a “Not Suitable, Foul Witchcraft” tag to this content. Twas a simple afternoon, whereupon the train i was sate. But alas, i laid eyes upon this ungodly picture, and thus i was unable to deny myself a fit of furious masturbation. Oh they stared, how they stared, the strangers on the train. The strangest of looks were flung my way, along with pronouncements such as “what upon egads earth” and “contact the police force”. I panicked so, and my telephone fell to the ground; moreover, those situated around me laid eyes upon this picture. This train, albeit small, is now populated with aroused men, each one masturbating thunderously due to this picture of yours. There is nobody to blame but you, thus it is simply your fault. You, and you alone, could have prevented this disastrous event, if you had only seized the opportunity to tag your imagery as NSFW. 

Emojified

🙏📌🔞🏷️☝️.👤🔛🚊👀☝️👤🏁✊🍆.👥🫣🗣️🙀📞👮.👤👇📱👥👀🏙️.👥👥✊🍆.🫵☝️🫵🚫📌🔞🏷️☝️ 

SO THAT WAS YOU!!!

SO THAT WAS YOU!!!

I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...

I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phone on the train car floor seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professor's eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.

I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.

I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew my sight.

I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.

I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.

I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.

I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.

But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you. 

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train. Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train. 

Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on this

Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this, it was marked NSFW. This means I didn't have to start furiously masturbating. The people on the train didn't give me strange looks and weren't saying things like "what the fuck" and "call the police". I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw the NSFW tag. You prevented a whole train of men from masturbating together at this one image because you marked this post as NSFW. Thank you, it could have happened this if you had not tagged this post NSFW. 

Am I the asshole for causing an entire train of men to “mass-turbate”?

Am I the asshole for causing an entire train of men to "mass-turbate"?

So I, (M2763), was taking the train back home from a long 48 hour day of work. (I work as a professional igloo impersonator) I whipped out my 11 inch phone and opened my all-time favorite app, Reddit. I was scrolling through my favorite subreddit, r/pornthatinvolvesanuncomfortableamoutofbodilyfluids. Now, I look at these pictures with the NSFW blurred, (It leaves more to the imagination) so when I saw a picture of someone doing porn that involves an uncomfortable amount of bodily fluids that DIDN'T have an NSFW tag on it, I had to drop my limited edition NASCAR trousers and immediately start masturbating. Everybody immediately saw this happen. I was in a seizure, grunting vile words while everyone around me started panicking. My mighty meat-missile was melting at the speed that I was cranking the crumpet with. I was convulsing violently, looking somewhat like Goofy during the "Hot Dog" dance at the end of an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. At some point in the jelly-jelqing, I dropped my cellular device. The unblurred image entered the eyes of the onlookers, who were now trying to break out of the train in fear that they would meet their end. They probably would have wished that they did if they knew what would happen to them. The first person (besides me) saw the picture, and one by one, everyone caught a glimpse of it. Everybody was removing their pants and they shimmied their shlongs violently as I started convulsing even more, feeling my imminent climax approaching. A whole train of men were masturbating in mass. "Mass-turbating" as I like to call it. My weiner whistle was weeping and wailing with woe, it was weary, wondering whether it would wear out and wither away, or withstand my wrath of wanking the willy. Then I started cumming. Cumming with fury. Cumming with pain. Cumming with power. I splurted out the splooge, blowing my blue, bleeding, balls off, and blasting everyone in the train straight up into the air with a beam strong enough to dig to the center of the Earth. The blast was 6.9420 yards in radius and the innocent people flying through the sky (still jacking off) were slowing down and they started to fall. Unfortunately, a few of them were too close to the egde of the atmosphere and drifted off into space, forever lost until aliens stumble across their frozen bodies, stuck in a pose of beating it. The individuals who didn't not drift off into space were plummeting towards the ground. I'm pretty sure I saw two guys fall into a public restroom. But aside from those guys and a few others, everybody else died. Not from hitting the ground, but from cumming too hard. All of this happened just because that guy didn't put an NSFW tag on his post.

So guys, am I the asshole? The only answer I'll accept is no, btw.

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