By u/lazyraptor7, its the ‘I hate Saurus‘ copypasta from Total War but changed to Tomb Kings.

I hate Tomb Kings. I hate them. I hate their dusty faces. I hate their bones. I hate their chariots. I hate when the chariots are next to the bones and I hate when the bones are next to the chariots.

I hate that Settra the Imperishable is somehow everywhere at once. I killed him. I watched him die. He disagreed.

I hate that “pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole” energy but now it’s just skeletons crawling out of the sand like someone kicked over an anthill in Nehekhara and High Queen Khalida is standing there judging me for it.

I hate their armies. I hate that the game says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is a lie. This is propaganda. I have twenty units of men with hopes and dreams. They have twenty units of unpaid interns held together by curses and resentment, personally supervised by Grand Hierophant Khatep who will not stay dead.

I hate that killing them does nothing. I kill them. They come back. I kill them again. They come back again. I have personally slain the same skeleton nineteen times. He is gaining experience. I think Arkhan the Black promoted him.

I hate their economy. I hate that they pay zero upkeep. Zero. I am bankrupt after recruiting three units and a dog. They are fielding four full stacks funded entirely by vibes, ancient grudges, and whatever pyramid scheme Settra the Imperishable is running this century.

I hate their constructs. I hate their giant statues. I hate their bone titans. I hate that a walking museum exhibit the size of a house just stepped on my elite infantry like they were decorative gravel while Arkhan the Black casts something illegal from three provinces away.

I hate their magic. I hate that some dried-out king who hasn’t had moisture since the Bronze Age is casting spells like he just discovered fire. I hate that every spell somehow resurrects more skeletons. Stop coming back. Khatep, this is your fault.

I hate their morale. I hate that they don’t have any. You cannot rout something that died three thousand years ago. You cannot break what is already broken. You can only delay the inevitable inconvenience while Khalida politely refuses to acknowledge the concept of fear.

I hate that surrounding them does nothing. I hate that flanking them does nothing. I hate that burning them does nothing. They do not care. They are bones. They have transcended caring. Settra has transcended everything, including consequences.

I hate that while I am writing this, another army has emerged from the sand behind me. I did not see it spawn. I did not hear it approach. It simply was. I assume Arkhan the Black is responsible.

I hate Tomb Kings.