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Archer Queen

    I just get so hard looking at her. I would let her shoot arrows into my dick hole and have her cut my dick off and smush it into a soup and make me drink it just to get a little nibble of her pinkie toe. I literally cannot sleep because i just cant stop jerking my dick to her. Holy shit i think already i busted 20 times while writing this. She is just so fucking hot. I cant go to school without having to jerk off in the bathroom. I have to do my homework while jerking off. I get cum all over my paper.
    
    I have done countless cum tributes to archer queen, i even have a fan game where you fuck her until she dies. I want her to come out of clash royale and just stomp my dick into the ground. I would be her toilet forever if i could just see her dirty stinky feet and make her rub it all over my face. I am a pig and her feet are piles of mud.
    
    I cant play my favorite game clash royale because every time she spawns I instantly cum everywhere. I try to hold it back but i cant. I would suck every goblins dick in the goblin gang just to have her shit stained feet be rubbed all over my dick and my face.
    
    Holy shit i dont know how much longer i can go anymore. I used to have my girlfriend dress up as the archer queen and have her shit all over me while jerking my dick with her stinky feet but it just wouldnt be the same. She broke up with me and now i have no one to cosplay as the archer queen. At least my archer queen flesh light is still with me.
    
    I seriously think about just killing that stupid barbarian king. He is getting to fuck her every minute while im here with a dick drenched in cum. I fucking hate him. He gets to lick her feet. I DONT. This is not fair. I will smash his skull into the ground and take the archer queen and have her queef all over me. I would never shower again to keep the smell of her queefs on me.
    
    I would cut off the archer queens feet so i could turn it into a flesh light and have it jerk me off every second of my life. God it would be so hot. Just her stinky little piggies rubbing all over my cock. I would be the hog, and her feet would be the rider.

    Holy shit i want to pound the shit out of the archer queen asshole

    I just get so hard looking at her. I would let her shoot arrows into my dick hole and have her cut my dick off and smush it into a soup and make me drink it just to get a little nibble of her pinkie toe. I literally cannot sleep because i just cant stop jerking my dick to her. Holy shit i think already i busted 20 times while writing this. She is just so fucking hot. I cant go to school without having to jerk off in the bathroom. I have to do my homework while jerking off. I get cum all over my paper.
    
    I have done countless cum tributes to archer queen, i even have a fan game where you fuck her until she dies. I want her to come out of clash royale and just stomp my dick into the ground. I would be her toilet forever if i could just see her dirty stinky feet and make her rub it all over my face. I am a pig and her feet are piles of mud.
    
    I cant play my favorite game clash royale because every time she spawns I instantly cum everywhere. I try to hold it back but i cant. I would suck every goblins dick in the goblin gang just to have her shit stained feet be rubbed all over my dick and my face.
    
    Holy shit i dont know how much longer i can go anymore. I used to have my girlfriend dress up as the archer queen and have her shit all over me while jerking my dick with her stinky feet but it just wouldnt be the same. She broke up with me and now i have no one to cosplay as the archer queen. At least my archer queen flesh light is still with me.
    
    I seriously think about just killing that stupid barbarian king. He is getting to fuck her every minute while im here with a dick drenched in cum. I fucking hate him. He gets to lick her feet. I DONT. This is not fair. I will smash his skull into the ground and take the archer queen and have her queef all over me. I would never shower again to keep the smell of her queefs on me.
    
    I would cut off the archer queens feet so i could turn it into a flesh light and have it jerk me off every second of my life. God it would be so hot. Just her stinky little piggies rubbing all over my cock. I would be the hog, and her feet would be the rider.

    People only sees Roxy as the most beautiful robo-woman in FNaF

      People only sees Roxy as the most beautiful robo-woman in FNaF franchise, but they never took a look at this wonderful and cute chick! Sometimes i like her stare, those eyes, and her pinky design. How can "chicken" can be that awesomely looking? While everyone simps for Roxy Wolf, they miss an opportunity to notice a more cutely looking girl - Glackrock Chica! She deserves some damn attention! 

      I am a 4 star General expert tactician with decades of experience on the battlefield

        Listen buddy. I dotn need your advice. I am a 4 star General expert tactician with decades of experience on the battlefield. I've been to warzones hotter than your breakfast. I've seen things no man can ever imagine. These hands of mine have taken more lives than you'll ever make love to. Im a decorated war hero with accolades from various countries. Ive fought alongside Navy Seals, SAS, GIGN, Delta Force, Shayetet 13, Spetsnaz, Joint Task Force 2, MARCOS, and Noble 6. I've been deployed to various conflicts throughout my life. And I tell you, when I am, I exhibit an unrelenting, merciless, devastating extermination upon my enemies. So don't come at me thinking you have the upper hand. I am the alpha male, I am the final boss. You haven't yet seen my final form, this is merely the begging of what's in store, an appetizer and the main course is on this way. So don't question me, don't give me advice, I don't need it. But you know what you'll need, a nice coffin for when I'm done with you. It's gonna be a closed casket funeral because there will be nothing left of you when I'm done. 

        “Dude why are you asking us, just go Google it, it takes like 5 seconds to Google someth-” SHUT THE FUCK UP.

          Jesus Christ I cannot fucking stand these kinds of comments. I just saw another one after seeing a dude ask if the Resident Evil 4 Remake's PSVR port comes with the Separate Ways DLC. Some poor fucking guy posts online some innocuous question like "hey is XYZ DLC included in this game?" or "is this feature in Windows 11??" and some smart-ass will go "uh why didn't you just Google this? It takes five seconds to Google something. What are you, stupid?" Oh yeah dude totally, fuck human connection. God forbid someone want to connect with someone else online, if only briefly, over an innocuous thing, just to remind themselves in a cold and sometimes isolating world that there are other people with the same fucking questions you have. That's just awful. We shouldn't be asking other humans for advice, just Google shit! Fuck it, why even have human conversations? Just talk to an AI man, that shit is easier! "Why would you go out of your way to have sex, man? It takes five seconds to look up porn." You fucking nimrod. (I don't mean YOU, person reading. In my head, I'm telling at a fake, hypothetical person who represents everything I've ever been annoyed by. You're fine.) Googling shit doesn't always give you the answer. Sometimes people want help from a goddamn person in the present and not pouring through the distant past of a NeoGAF user from fucking 2005 to figure out if your ammo refills when you upgrade your capacity in Resident Evil 4 or some shit. "But they can just Google it, it takes 5 sec-" guess what else takes five seconds? Answering the fucking question or clicking on a different post. Fucking asinine. Weren't we just bitching and depressed because of how isolating COVID felt? Didn't you, fictional victim of my yelling, just post the other day about how lonely you feel sometimes? Small fucking moments with fellow humans means something. Maybe that dude needs help with his Roku TV not playing an .MP4 he put together, or maybe he just needs someone to go "Yeah isn't that fucking annoying? God video codecs are frustrating" along with him because it's not just about fucking video codecs not working on Roku. Do you not ever want to just bitch for a second about technology not working? Google doesn't do shit for that, you can't Google "it is really frustrating that my laptop volume is so low" and get Google to say back, "yeah, that's really fucking annoying, isn't it? Have you tried Sonic Studio III?" because GOOGLE IS NOT A PERSON. Not to mention Google fucking sucks nowadays. You know how long it took for me to finally find the right Blu-Ray authoring software that actually worked and wasn't an over-expensive piece of shit through Google? I had to download like six fucking programs, each time trying and hoping to fucking God this one would be what I needed only for it to be a clunky useless piece of shit that just wants $50 from me. Oh yeah Google was a real help there. No, what ACTUALLY helped was posting online and getting a recommendation from someone who has actually done that shit before. Dude didn't just bitch at me for not using Google, now I'm working with a program that doesn't make me want to tear my face off. Oh noooo but I'm just lazy, right? If you aren't using the Mega Overlord Google Search Engine you're just lazy! Fuck you. Give me your friends, I'll ask them, clearly you don't need them since you get everything you need from typing into a search engine, right? God damn this shit pisses me off. Sorry, I know you guys are all ranting about important shit like human rights and the possibility of human collapse within the next century, but I have to get this off my chest now and the actual subreddit, you know, offmychest, that shit seems to be for personal trauma and I don't wanna barge in there with my neurotic anger over internet pretension. Then again if that were to bother someone and they didn't know what to do about it, I guess they should just fucking Google it, right? Better not talk to any humans about it. I'm tired. 

          Class of ’09 intro

            Make... No mistake... I'm a sociopath. God that sounded evil. Lets rewind a little. I grew up all over coastal America, house, after house, after restraining order, everything just kinda blends in. If the divorce rate is 50/50, my mom landed on tails like eight times. So by the time I was 14, right? I moved from seven different houses and attended six different school districts. After awhile, you don't see a point in making friends. The Vitamin C graduation song? yeah, can't relate. But then, one year, all of that almost changed?? For the first time EVER I found myself in a school for two consecutive years, going on three. And then like... I started turning pretty a month into highschool so the "guys hitting on you" social leverage was really awesome. The popular girls would talk to me all of the time, and they were just STUPID. Like they had always been pretty. Never left out, never alone. And when I think about it... all the thinking I've ever done was when I was alone. I was nice about it, and thought I'd always be nice about it. Finally in one place to build a steady reputation. And then life said FUCK THAT. My PIECE OF SHIT GAMER BROTHER got us evicted for pirating BREAKBEAT MIXTAPES. ITS LIKE, NOT EVEN GOOD MUSIC??? Anyway, so Mom was crying packing up the moving boxes and that's when she told me we're moving out of state! And I JUST got settled! I said "FUCK YOU I'm living with Dad", he's just a neighborhood down. I put the boxes down, go over, knock on the door and... BOOM. A GUNSHOT. My second Christmas KILLED HIMSELF! I walked in... floor looked like a whole ass video game just blood everywhere. And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it? Nicole's fault.... I'm Nicole by the way hi WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM?! Maybe I missed the office softball game?? Men are so into this revenge suicide thing. But whatever. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters... I'm moving... AGAIN. City, county, state; all the same fate. But I've always said that... while leaving. This time? Its on arrival. 

            Class of ’09: The Re-Up

            It's funny when a girl tells her story, only to be told back that it's unrealistic. Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real.
            For everyone who doesn't know; my mom's a bitch, my dad shot himself, my life sucks, and my brother is on a watchlist. Not in that order, or maybe, I don't know.
            But last year, that combination left me at the worst, most predatory school imaginable. At least, I thought it was the worst school, but then I like, talked to other people and it turns out it wasn't that bad? Well no, it was that bad, it was just really standard.
            Other girls saying their gym teacher wanted to bang them, their counselor texting them at three in the morning; I was the only one with a white nationalist photography teacher though, so I guess that's something.
            But here's the problem; Mom won't listen, the principal doesn't care, and I still have all of senior year to get through! My life's just a game...a sick, hopeless game.
            Like, I've never really been "religious", but if God is some introvert loser sitting in their computer chair, I really hope they can help me through this...