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Ferb’s longest speech “That Day Is Not Today”

    source
    Give up? Give up?! The day may come when we'll give up on fruitless searches after a mere eleven minutes, but that day is not today! The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets, we will search for him in the trenches, we will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We'll search for him in the multilevel car parks and municipal recreational facilities. And we few. We happy few. We small band of brothers — and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!
    There's no way we can catch him. He moves too fast, maybe we should just give up.

    heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how men are trash

      Its from a deleted Tweet by @goodbeanalt that was a parody of how simps white knight for women online.

      heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how men are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am a man, (i know, ugh) i am on your side. “one of the good ones” as some may say. btw I never even noticed how fat your boobies are till now but they’re awesome

      犯罪者の98％はパンを食べている

        Its a parody of the Dihydrogen monoxide copypasta but for bread going all the way back to 2012 in Japanese forums. 

        パンの危険性について
        
ある食べ物が身体にいいという話はよく聞きますが、アメリカの調査結果 によれば、パンは危険な食べ物だということがわかりました。
その驚愕の事実をご紹介します。

        1. 犯罪者の98％はパンを食べている
        2. パンを日常的に食べて育った子供の半数はテストが平均点以下である
        3. 暴力的犯罪の90％はパンを食べてから24時間以内に起きている
        4. パンは中毒症状を引き起こす。
被験者に最初はパンと水を与え、後に水だけを与える実験をすると、2日もしないうちにパンを異常にほしがる
        5. 新生児にパンを与えるとのどをつまらせて苦しがる
        6. 18世紀、どの家も各自でパンを焼いていた頃、平均寿命は50歳だった
        7. パンを食べるアメリカ人のほとんどは、重大な科学的事実と無意味な統計の区別がつかない
        ○犯罪者の98%はパンを食べている。 ○パンを日常的に食べて育った子供の約半数は、テ ストが平均点以下である。 ○暴力的犯罪の90%は、パンを食べてから24時間以 内に起きている。 ○パンは中毒症状を引き起こす。被験者に最初はパ ンと水を与え、後に水だけを与える実験をすると、 2日もしないうちにパンを異常にほしがる。 ○新生児にパンを与えると、のどをつまらせて苦し がる。 ○18世紀、どの家も各自でパンを焼いていた頃、平均寿命は50歳だった。

ほら、パンって危険な食べ物です。

        Real Breakcore

          Breakcore copypasta

          By u/BlastingStone, its the Real Emo copypasta but changed to breakcore.

          "Real Breakcore" only consists of the late 90s/early 2000s digital hardcore and jungle punk scene. What is known by "Modern Breakcore" is nothing but IDM with questionable real breakcore influence. When people try to argue that artists like Sewerslvt are not real breakcore, while saying that usedcvnt is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake breakcore as Sewerslvt (plus the pretentiousness). Real breakcore sounds CHAOTIC, AGGRESSIVE, and UNCOMPROMISING. Fake breakcore is weak, overly polished, and a failed attempt to direct energy and rhythm into music. Some examples of REAL BREAKCORE are Venetian Snares, Drumcorps, early Igorrr, and Doormouse. Some examples of FAKE BREAKCORE are Machine Girl (post-WLF), most "lolicore," and anything that sounds like it belongs in a TikTok edit. BREAKCORE BELONGS TO HARDCORE, NOT TO HYPERPOP, AMBIENT, OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE.

          Petition to- SHUT THE FUCK UP.

            Somebody on r/AnarchyChess had a crashout after the “Petition to-” joke had been said a millionth time. 

            Petition to- SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Every single post I ever see is just not funny. It's all just "petition to this" or "petition to that." HOW DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH CHESS?? I miss the sub since like a few months ago, when we had actually funny shit, now we're just making stupid stale "petition to mod this guy or smth or ban this guy for some reason idk" and they still have the gall to make MORE POSTS LIKE THIS that they think is worth reading, or rather GIVING MY ATTENTION to?

I'm going insane because of how much you guys do this. How about you make actual funny posts, like how the sub was intended to be? You know what? Someone please get the mods to remove the petition flair, or even ban petitions because all they do is just "petition to ban u/jvmfnncncmnxnx for becas he ummm idk" and we still approve of these posts? Why?

It just really bothers me when people still think petitions are funny. Mods won't do anything about it because "mod team knows best" or something, like where the fuck are my funny bishop sniper posts... or "what do I do in this position"??? You know what? Fuck everything about petitions. Petition to just completely erase the petition flair, and never make these kinds of posts again.

            Bro u don’t never seen this? This sh was fire in 2017🔥🔥🔥

              XXXTENTACION copypasta

              Someone unironically replied with this when asked about the famous XXXTENTACION profile pic.

              Bro u don’t never seen this? This sh was fire in 2017🔥🔥🔥 even X fucked with this. if you were on console or on insta you would away find someone having that as a pfp (they were usually the ones the most pressed for no reason too)