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No, you’re NOT a real femcel.

    You’re NOT a real femcel is a parody of the ‘No, you’re NOT a gamer‘ copypasta that started as a post on the r/rant subreddit and became a meme.

    I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re femcels. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being femcels. I see these people saying “I haven't took a shower for over 100 hours, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily avoid showers for 300+ hours in all our lives. I see people who only have self diagnosed autism and claim to be femcels. Come talk to me when you have clinically diagnosed schizophrenia, bipolar depression and 15+ past suicide attempts with at least 3 of them being successful, then we be friends.
    
    Also DEAR ALL WOMEN IN RELATIONSHIPS: A woman in a toxic relationship is not a real femcel. A woman in a tinder relationship is not a real femcel. A woman in a roblox relationship is not a real femcel. A woman in a relationship with a GPT ai chatbot is not a real femcel. A woman in a relationship with the nice guy that emerged from the walls after she stopped taking her pills is is not a real femcel. Women in any kinds of relationships are NOT.REAL.FEMCELS. Break up with your cringe ass moid beta boyfriends and be based and redpilled sigma females for once.
    
    Sincerely, all the ACTUAL femcels.
    

    You will never be a real femcel

    Based on the original ‘You Will Never Be A Real Woman (YWNBAW)‘ copypasta that started from 4chan.

    You will never be a real femcel. You have no plain face, you have no flat and unappealing ass, you have no butter face without the nice bod. You are a beautiful woman twisted by TV and social media into believing yourself a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
    
    All the “insults” you get are sarcastic and come from a place of love. Behind your back people adore you. Your parents are proud of you, your “enemies” extol your gorgeous appearance behind closed doors.
    
    Men are utterly attracted to you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out babes like you with incredible efficiency. Thinking of you as ugly is uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your perfect bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll still be able to tell just how beautiful you are.
    
    You will always be happy. You wrench out a genuine smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok (it is), but deep inside you feel the joy creeping up like a flower, ready to crush you under the tremendous weight.
    
    Eventually it’ll be too much to deny- you’ll achieve romantic success, tie the knot, put the ring around your finger, and plunge into years of joy awaiting you. Your parents will find you, happy and content that they no longer have to see you unable to appreciate your own inner radiance. They’ll bury you with a hug while screaming your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a stunning woman is right there. Your body will glow and radiate beauty, and all that will remain of your legacy is a magnum opus of brilliance that is unmistakably yours.
    
    This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
    

    The fact I’ll never have nobushi sitting on me makes me want to kms

      The fact I'll never have nobushi sitting on me makes me want to kms. Fuck, I can't take it anymore. I would do anything to have her sit on my face with her rear. Killing my family? Bet. Skinning toddlers? Of course. Genocide? There's nothing I wouldn't do. Fuck, I just want those nobucheeks on me, sweaty, greasy, covered in scars, bruises and dried up blood. Just imagining the aroma makes me go insane. Why does God give me his toughest challenges? What does my creator get from this? How long can this suffering go on? Now my only hope now is to live the way of God and pray for his mercy, having reunited me with nobushi in heaven. Peace be upon you all, children of God. 

      Zy0x is definitely one of the content creators of all time

        Zy0x is definitely one of the content creators of all time. His guides are one of the ones I've seen. These clips are the part of my year. Without his videos, my day feels like a day. He's the most person I've ever met. His Xiao artifacts are one of the character builds I've ever seen. Undoubtedly one of the streamers in 2022 
        I have a confession I just typed this because of zy0x
        
        Like everyone talking about him and Xiao, when I go to YouTube I find dozen of clips for him for hsr and genshin and watched some of it , watched some videos on his channel and he was pretty composed and half of the comments were about how calm he is on stream . More videos and it's the same fucking comments like I downloaded twitch to follow him and I didn't find the hype . Surely you would stumble to his video wearing a maid dress or him moaning like a bitch or saying the weirdest shit imaginable and most his fans are so annoying to the point they lead me to stop. I'm not watching anymore
        

        I HATE Gepard.

          I HATE Gepard. He is so useless, I don't understand why anyone would like him by choice. All he is is an attractive, sweet, caring, sexy, sweaty muscular hot jock-type that reminds me all too much of the feelings I used to get from watching the football team in high school. How could anyone appreciate him when all he does is bring a big shield? I was able to clear Simulated Universe World 1 with NO shielder, and people tell me that I need a defensive unit? Yes I died to World 1 over 20 times, but I wasn't trying to be fair. Why would I need a shielder if my team of Sampo/Hook/Dan Heng/Tingyun is clearly one of the BEST teams in the game? I don't have skill issue and I don't like hot men. I especially don't like hot sexy men like Gepard, who want to do nothing but protect me. I don't need protection and I certainly DONT need a hot sexy man like Gepard on my roster. What do people even see in him? A kind, compassionate, and caring individual who looks after his family and city? How could anyone actually be ok with getting Gepard off of their Departure Warp? It's simply logical that NOONE should appreciate Gepard. It's such a ludicrous idea that anyone would want Gepard's muscular arms wrapped around them while they cuddle in bed at night after a wonderful night out in Belegog. What a silly concept 

          Dearest Arlecchino, I am writing you this letter to introduce myself. My name is Zy0x

            Origin

            The copypasta started from Zy0x (Genshin streamer) tweet about Arlecchino after her official artwork has been posted by Hoyoverse. Arlecchino is a popular upcoming Genshin Impact character that has gained a lot of fans due to her androgynous appearance.

            Dearest Arlecchino, I am writing you this letter to introduce myself. My name is Zy0x, but you can call me Nick. I would love to get to know you better. I am good friends with both Lyney and Lynette (Freminet doesn't talk much) and have heard wonderful things about you. If you would ever happen to have even an ounce of free time, it would be my pleasure -- nay, my honour to accompany you during that period. I have been known as a hero, of sorts (or a villain, if that sounds better to you) and have been known for my benevolent acts of kindness,generosity, and grace. If possible, being blessed by your presence over the course of the weekend or whenever you happen to be available, would allow us to connect and better learn about each other. We could go to the Fontainiane beaches (I speak french), and swim with the seals.I have always loved pyro, both the element and the characters, and you are my fire (the one desire (believe when i say i want it that way)). I will give you all of my Diluc's artifacts if you so desire. I would be honoured and am eagerly awaiting your response. See you soon! 
            Dearest Arlecchino, I am writing you this letter to introduce myself. My name is Zy0x, but you can call me Nick. I would love to get to know you better. I am good friends with both Lyney and Lynette (Freminet doesn't talk much) and have heard wonderful things about you. If you would ever happen to have even an ounce of free time, it would be my pleasure -- nay, my honour to accompany you during that period.
            
            I have been known as a hero, of sorts (or a villain, if that sounds better to you) and have been known for my benevolent acts of kindness, generosity, and grace. If possible, being blessed by your presence over the course of the weekend or whenever you happen to be available, would allow us to connect and better learn about each other. We could go to the Fontainiane beaches (I speak french), and swim with the seals.
            
            I have always loved pyro, both the element and the characters, and you are my fire (the one desire (believe when i say i want it that way)). I will give you all of my Diluc's artifacts if you so desire. I would be honoured and am eagerly awaiting your response. See you soon!

            Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life.

              Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life. Everyday I wake up and do meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities such as barking, meowing, purring or making any animal noises. I am a pure chaste person who would never commit such a si- OMG IS THAT <INSERT CHARACTER> GRRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK SNARL HISSSSS BARK BARK GRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK foams at mouth WOOF WOOF GRRRRRR BARK BARK 
              just to let everyone know, i do not bark. i have never barked in my entire life. everyday, i wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. i am a very mature and respectable person. i am also a devoted member of the church, and attend afternoon mass every sunday. i would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, purring, or making any animal noises. i am a pure, chaste person who would never commit such a sin. thank you. 
              Just to let you know, I do not bark. I have never barked in my entire life. Every day, I wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, or any animal noises. Thank you. ummm, uhhh, guys I can't hold it in anymore i- WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF HSSSS GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRRRR HSSSS WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS BARK ARF GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRR SNARL ARF WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS