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READ A BOOK. ANY BOOK.

    READ A BOOK. ANY BOOK.
    byu/OptimisticLucio inCharacterRant
    READ A BOOK. ANY BOOK.

Guys ok, we get it, the 200th shonen of this season was shit, I'm sorry to hear it. No this does not mean that all of writing has a fundamental flaw that no one has fixed until now. There's actually- fun fact, there's actually an easy to reach place where you can find writing that, for the most part, does not have these flaws!

Are you tired of the missed potential of worldbuilding? Do you wish the character dialogue wasn't shit?

Well boys and girls do I have the invention for you:
A FUCKING BOOK!

YES! By using your tiktok and youtube-short riddled brain for more than 10 seconds on one task, you too can read a book without pictures in it! Those exist! And there's good ones!

"Oh but OptimisticLucio, all of new literature is smut aimed at feeeemales!" First of all never call me by my full name, secondly never call women that again, and thirdly- HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS COOL THING CALLED SHIT WRITTEN MORE THAN 5 YEARS AGO

This may come as a startling shock to some of you, but the classics are classics BECAUSE THEY REALLY ARE THAT GOOD. It may be wild to hear, but "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" really IS that fucking good! "It's not as good as goku hitting super sayan fuckbillion tho-" READ IT BITCHASS AND THEN COME BACK TO ME

MOBY DICK, DUNE, FRANKENSTIEN, 1984- YEAH LITERALLY 1984 IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY DECENT, DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA

ANY OF THEM!
READ A BOOK

    WE HAD A GOOD THING YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH.We had Congress. We had DOGE. We had everything we needed and it all ran like clockwork.

      Its Mike Ehrmantraut speech to Walter White blaming him and his ego for everything that has gone wrong. The transcript has been changed to reflect Elon Musk fallout with Donald Trump.

      WE HAD A GOOD THING YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH.
We had Congress. We had DOGE. We had everything we needed and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, took the government contracts, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was PERFECT. But NO. YOU just had to blow it up. YOU, and your PRIDE and your EGO. You just had to be THE MAN. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.

      I banned jarlic from our home, and my wife keeps finding workarounds.

        I banned jarlic from our home, and my wife keeps finding workarounds.
        byu/FeedTheADHD inCookingCircleJerk
        I banned jarlic from our home, and my wife keeps finding workarounds. 

I tried to be thoughtful. I handed my wife a contract forbidding preminced jarlic. She smiled when she signed it - which I took to mean that she thinks I asked her politely, and she was going to respect my wishes. "Fine by me. No more jarlic," she said as she put pen to paper. I made copies of the document, locked the original in my safe and went to bed happy.

The next day, she comes home with groceries, and I do my routine inspection. At the top of the bag, prominently displayed, is a Ziploc bag of preminced garlic. "What the hell is this?" "Baglic," she says. Baglic. "Just following the rules."

I amend the contract. "No preminced garlic inside of any container." She signs it again, smiling. Her smile is no longer comforting. The next day she comes home with one bag of groceries, and one closed fist. She sets the bag down on the counter, locks eyes with me, and then dumps a fistful of minced garlic onto the countertop. "Handlic."

My printer is running out of ink and I'm running out of patience. "No preminced garlic anywhere on our property." She signs it again, smiling bigger than ever. I cannot even fathom how she's going to spin this one.

The next day, she walks in holding nothing but a jar of minced garlic. I've got her dead to rights now. I'm waving the document around and explaining to her that she violated the contract. She walks over to the window and lifts the shade. There's a table in our front yard, an acoustic guitar leaned against it, and a man with face tattoos chopping garlic gloves by hand and lifting it into a jar with a bench scraper. "Honey, this isn't pre-minced garlic, this is Post-minced garlic. Get fucked."

I hate my fucking life.

        HODL (Moon emojis)

          🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

          I want to become max from brawl stars

            Max from Brawl Stars

            Its the famous Max from Brawl Stars copypasta that started form the official sub.

            Everyday, I imagine that if I am Max from Brawl Stars. I wake up and say "Let's go, come on, zip zip!" I run to bathroom, splash water on my face and say, "In the lead, winning, number one, best of the best, whoo!" while looking into the mirror. I have breakfast and say ""This is just the warm-up, right?" my family like "Blud, what are you talking about?" and they think if have I gone crazy. I run around, charging my super and then I deal 1.2k damage to everyone then my dad say "Stop drinking so many energy drinks, how many times should I say to behave yourself!" I run to school and see my teammate at cafeteria, she gets bullied by Kit and Shelly. I say "Three, two, one, BLAST OFF!" and get countered by their CCs, lost the game, 8 trophies and my sanity. (For love of god who added that feature into game anyway? We already suffering for golds!) I speed to the classroom and my teacher is there too, I decide to gifting apple and orange to him and he responds with "I can't sustain anymore."

            Namor will be happy remembering how he passionately fucked Sue

              Its an infamous comment from a gooner detailing his cuckhold fantasy of Sue having sex with Namor and Tony behind Reed Richards in the game Marvel Rivals. The comment was posted in one of the many posts making fun of Namor for wanting to bang Sue when he was added and had since been deleted.

              Namor will be happy remembering how he passionately fucked Sue and she rode his cock, experiencing the best orgasms of her life when her cuckhold husband saved the world. I think Tony should also fuck this perfect slut ass while her husband is not looking.