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Mario Movie Copypasta

    Updated version after the Nintendo Direct

    >this summer...
    >everyone's favorite plumber...
    >is coming to the big screen
    >*cuts to bowser voiced by Jack Black* What a bummer!
    >*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
    >*Mario wakes up giddy for the moning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to take up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio
    >"in other news, princess peach has been-"
    >Mario, voiced by Chris Pratt "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!"
    >Luigi, voiced by Charlie Day, "just go on without me, man"
    >Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! Without you I'm just... Regular Mario Brother."
    >two brothers will find themselves
    >Mario "what?! Peach is missing?"
    >Luigi "really?"
    >and maybe Peach
    >Mario "and bowser took her?”
    >Luigi "wow REALLY?"
    >but first they have to find Bowser
    >bowser: "I know what girls like!"
    >*presents a bundle of fire flowers to Peach* "fire flower?"
    >*Peach kicks him in the balls*
    >"AAAAA My fire balls!”
    >who might need to be saved from peach
    >peach, voiced by who do you fucking think, it's Anya Taylor-Joy "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even to the Olympic Games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!”
    >this summer is going to be
    >*montage of slap stick*
    >*bowser twerking*
    >Mario "aaawkward"
    >this summer is going to be...
    >*montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*
    >*toad doing a head spin*
    >"LIIIIIIIIT"
    >this summer is going to be!
    >*montage of every time they say "super" in the movie
    >SUPER
    >Super Mario Bros.

    Original 4chan version

    >this summer...
    >everyone's favorite plumber...
    >is coming to the big screen
    >*cuts to bowser voiced by Adam Sandler* What a bummer!
    >*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
    >*Mario wakes up giddy for the moning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to take up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio
    >"in other news, princess peach has been-"
    >Mario, voiced by Aziz Ansari "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!"
    >Luigi, voiced by Owen Wilson, "just go on without me, man"
    >Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! Without you I'm just... Regular Mario Brother."
    >two brothers will find themselves
    >Mario "what?! Peach is missing?"
    >Luigi "really?"
    >and maybe Peach
    >Mario "and bowser took her?”
    >Luigi "wow REALLY?"
    >but first they have to find Bowser
    >bowser: "I know what girls like!"
    >*presents a bundle of fire flowers to Peach* "fire flower?"
    >*Peach kicks him in the balls*
    >"AAAAA My fire balls!”
    >who might need to be saved from peach
    >peach, voiced by who do you fucking think, it's Kristen Schaal "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even to the Olympic Games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!”
    >this summer is going to be
    >*montage of slap stick*
    >*bowser twerking*
    >Mario "aaawkward"
    >this summer is going to be...
    >*montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*
    >*toad doing a head spin*
    >"LIIIIIIIIT"
    >this summer is going to be!
    >*montage of every time they say "super" in the movie
    >SUPER
    >Super Mario Bros.