Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
Okay I don’t know if this is actually incest since it wasn’t something actually sexual in the technical sense but her go’s
When I was little my mom used to put a buttplug in me (which she called a poop plug) and I’d wear it all the time I was told only to take it out to poop wipe my ass then put it back in
I was really young so I thought this was just something everybody did but one time at school I dropped it when I flushed the toilet and it ended up getting flushed so when I went back to class I told my teacher that my poop plug got flushed down the toilet she had no idea what I was talking about so she sent me to the school nurse
Well after trying to explain what a poop plug was for 15 minutes the school calls the police the police ask me all these questions and at first I’m scared because I think I’m in trouble for losing my poop plug Turns out my mom has schizophrenia and was making me wear this buttplug so satan wouldn’t stick his cock in my pooper and make me gay.
This was a few years ago, i was 21, but now I'm ready to share my story. Some time ago I just got into a breakup and I suffered emotionally, mentally and I was physically exhausted. My sex drive was at the lowest point in my life. Months passed and I haven't had any form of sexual activity until one day I had the urge to j*rk off.
I am living solo with only just my dog so I had all the privacy I need. I was sitting in my couch and while watching a girl dancing on my phone I decided to fuck the couch. I was really horny at that time and it felt really good It was so tight yet so soft. Everytime I became horny I always try to jerk off or fck certain things such as folded clothes in my wardrobe, office chair, I also tried fucking a lotion bottle with a large opening. Basically I was fcking anything where my d*ck fits. This was my routine in the morning and after work.
I don't know what got into me but I decided to fck my refrigerator. The door has a seal which is soft so I decided to fck that. At first it felt really good so everyday the only thing I was effing is my refrigerator. Until one day I decided to f*ck the side of the refrigerator door where it is hinged. Surprisingly my d fits perfectly. It is tight and I like how I can control the tightness of it.
Now for the disaster, my dog decided to push the refrigerator door and my fully hard erected dck got stuck. It was the STRONGEST PAIN that you can ever imagine as a man. I can't reach the the door handle to open it but I can't move because it fcking hurt so bad. I tried to scream but I can't. I was panicking and I feel like I can die at that moment but I was scared of the idea that someone will find me dead with my dck stuck in the refrigerator door. I tried and tried to reach the handle until I grabbed the string that was attached to the handle cover. I finally unstucked my dck but I can feel it but it hurts so bad. I can't tell because I think I'm gonna pass out. I was stuck for maybe 3-4 mins but it felt like a very long time.
After I got myself unstucked, I still managed to cm but it still hurt pretty bad. I was thinking of going to a hospital to got my dck checked but I decided not to. I was scared of being judged so I decided to keep this to my self, later that day my dick got all red and violet, it looks like it lost blood circulation, I just applied cold compress and took a lot of pain killers to relieve myself, this went on for a few days. I managed to pee but it hurts really bad. Until one morning the pain was gone, I went to the toilet to pee but when I pull my shorts my DCK FELL OFF. It really fell into the toilet bowl and made splashing noise, I still remember it like it was yesterday. It felt like a dream at first and it took me a moment to realize what just happened. I was like fck what should I do, should I pick it up or flush it. I was looking at the part and it was really gone. I managed to pick it up and drive to an emergency room, I don't want to exlain the details because idk if the happenings at the hospital was true or just my hallucination.
The doctors decided to take off the rest of the rotten tissue surgically because obviously my dick can't be saved. I was in the hospital for a month or so.
Months passed, my lower part started to heal without a dck, I only had a urethra so I pee like woman. Only my parents knew about this. I don't do dates anymore because I can't have sex, I can't masturbate either. I have no dck.
Damn.
So I was once on a date with my now wife. We were going over the bridge from Galveston island. There was a masive wreck and we got stuck for a few hours. We had stoped for a large sweet tea and a Diet Coke at the double arches. I have a bladder the size of a dime! I had to pee. There were cops walking around picking up scraps and what not so opening my door and going over the bridge were not an option. I peed in my McDonald’s cup and put it in the cup holder. A few minuets latter guess what I took a huge gulp of. Let me tell you fresh urine isn’t good, I’m not going to try fermented! Oh and by the way my wife, anytime she has apple Juice asks me if I want some pee.
So uhhhhhhhhhhhh….. a few years ago a girl I was hanging out with gave me a blanket that she didn’t want anymore. I took it home and realized it smelled just like her. I slept with that blanket in my arms and pretended it was her.
I was the only one in my friend group that she never had sex with and I spent the most time with her out of all my friends. She legit would talk about how good my friend ate her pussy and I would just sit there like 🫤👍 while holding on to a sliver of hope that she would at least let me cuddle with her. For My birthday my friends tried to convince her to at least make out with me bc nobody had ever even kissed me before. She said that I was her best friend and that she never wanted to do anything sexual with me because I was such a good friend.
Edit: yeah I stopped hanging out with her after another friend made me realize that she was being hella manipulative and was playing with my feelings. She was always super flirty and touchy with me and sometimes she would actually cuddle w/ me but she was pretty adamant about just remaining friends. I know she had a ton of mental issues but she was also a complete piece of shit human being. She legit verbally abused her parents and pretty much destroyed their marriage. She acted like her life was shit and nobody loved her despite the fact that her family took $5k+ vacations and she lived in a nice ass house. She threatened to kill herself constantly and tried twice ( I will never forget her having a seizure and throwing up all over my car as I drove her to hospital whilst doing 90 in a 45 in a Corolla at 3 am after she took a bunch of pills). Almost every single therapist she had gave up on her because she was a sociopath and was unable to listen to reason
Not all of it was bad. I hang out with a ton of her friends still. Also I kinda sorta fucked her sister 😭 her sister works with mentally disabled people but also is an escort who specializes in helping kids with autism and Down syndrome lose their virginity (me included lol). I remember the girl I hung out with had to go to a doctors appointment when her sister told me to come into her room. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and of course i said yes. Legit the best two hours of my life. Just the way she spoke to me in this quiet, comforting voice still still gives me chills to this day. She legit made me cry because she never stopped saying how awesome I was and how everything was gonna be alright. We fucked a few more times before I stopped hanging out with her sister but I will never forget her
