Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Yeah, so we were out on the trail about four years back just doing some leafbooting, ya know, while things were crunchy and we were walking for maybe an hour or so when he tells me he has to take a piss, and I’m like, “Yeah, sure, bud. I’ll just sit tight right here”, as my own bladder sloshes around like a Christian's fishbowl, and so I see him walk out to a nice wide tree, ya know, one that can really take a blasting, and this tree isn’t far, so he pulls his dong out and I can see he’s bricked up, like fully bricked up because we had been at it all afternoon and his ol’ boy had been tucked in warm pants for a while so that fresh air must have woke him up—nothing weird, happens to everyone—and so as he’s peeling the bark off that sturdy, ancient, elm, a doe, a deer, swerves its head around the other side and, pal, it’s got a look in its eyes that I had not seen before and not seen since, and my buddy is frozen in place, paralyzed by a powerful piss, and that deer just waits patiently and watches, and I’m watching, and my buddy is watching, and as soon as his dong bobs up and down with those last few spurts, the deer wraps its mouth around his penis, and remember, my buddy is bricked up from the fresh air, and so this deer is latched on and just going to town on my guy over there, and it’s like porn-style sloppy with the gagging and slurping noises and strings of thick saliva, and my buddy doesn’t know what to do because, I mean c’mon, this is a delicate situation here, what with a wily cervid putting the juicy clamps and his cock and everything, so I’m scared, but I don’t want to get close to him because I know my own penis is just one flimsy zipper away from flopping out and going full mongrel, and the fellatey smell in the air was gonna assure that was gonna happen, and yeah, so my buddy is like trying to gently release the deer, but also just getting slob jobbed into oblivion, and just when he’s about give me a thumbs up and throw his hands on top of his head to let it ride—Snap!—she bites that thing clean off with all the juiciness of a freshly chargrilled bratwurst, and that deer with a mouthful of dong giddy-ups deep into the woods where we couldn’t possible be able to follow, and he’s stunned and I’m stunned and we’re both staring at his dick stump, and we’re both sorta impressed because that was a clean bite, like super clean, like it didn’t even start bleeding right away, and my theory is that this dick biting deer had bitten a dick before and she’ll bite a dick again, so suffice it to say, my buddy and I have not hiked that trail again without wearing steel panties like the ranger suggests.
I went out running on the streets of Delhi in a sports bra. Never again.
Literally every uncle, aunty, and kid on the road was staring at me with their mouths agape. I am not exaggerating when I say that I saw 80-90 people literally stop and turn around to watch me. Their judgemental eyes left a crawling sensation on my skin.
Isn't Delhi supposed to be the capital of this "superpower"? Isn't Delhi supposed to be a "metropolitan" city? Is this what us Indians can do the best, seriously?
I'm seriously considering emigrating just based off this one incident. Because the street is different- it's all strangers. What hurt the most is when I got home after everyone woke up.
My wife starting crying when I walked into the house. My own kids froze still in terror. My grandmother had a heart attack and collapsed on the floor. May her soul rest in peace.
India is not a safe place for balding middle-aged men to go out running in a sports bra and booty shorts.
So my friend who is on a nofap journey for around 300 days, told me that he had a lucid dream yesterday where he was fucking a hot girl, the thing is, whilst he was fucking her, it felt so good and that the moment he was about to ejaculate, he stopped, saying that it was an act of supreme self-control.
But here's the catch, immediately after stopping, he got pinned by a ghost, the ghost started thrusting his ass with his big girthy cock, the ghost was pinning him so hard he couldn't even move or turn back to see how the ghost looks like.
He told me that all of that was an act of the matrix, and that all of these devils and ghosts are fucking him as an act of taking revenge on him, trying to make him fail his PMO free journey..
This is not even the first time, he had other similar experiences, one in real life where he met a very sexy, charming ghost in form of human, but when he tried to fuck her, he instead got pinned by another ghost who started fucking his butthole.
You are on your deathbed. The heart-rate monitor beeps twice every second, a reminder that you are still alive, still on this hellish earth. You long for the pleasure that death will bring, the pleasure that rotting away underground in your coffin will bring. But then you get a devilish idea. With all of your might, you ferociously grab your dick and start beating it. As you continue, you feel your heart start to give up, as all of your energy is focused on your hands fondling your throbbing dick. The monitor now is only beeping once per second. Your nurse rushes over to see what is happening. And then, you finally let go. Cum explodes out of your dick at the speed of light, right into the nurse's mouth, making her choke. This only makes you harder. A second wave comes out from your penis. All of this energy you have used up now makes your frail heart go into cardiac arrest. Your head begins to feel faint, and you see the nurse spluttering on the floor, gasping for air under your sickly cum. This is the last thing you see before you flat line. Death. The horniest thing of all. With shattering force, your corpse lets go one last shot of semen.
The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
porra mano fui pra smart fit ontem pra fazer peito e triceps ta ligado
ai la no canto tem uma area de crossfit puta area merda kkkkkkkkkkkk nem sei pq falei isso mas e dai
enfim, tava la fazendo um fly suavao ai do nada me entra um palhaço na academia
velho to falando de um palhaço mesmo, nao tipo o it ou tiririca que eh um meia foda de um palhaço
eh um palhaço mesmo mano, pique os de circo manja
suave tava no descanso do bi-set so fiquei de olho
mano o palhaço nao vai no rack dos peso e cata 3 anilha de 25 kilo e começa a faze malabaris no bagulho
porra jao 25 kilo cada
a porra da academia travou pra ver aquele filho da puta brincando como se fosse com bolinha de tenis tiu
ai um dos instrutor, o mais merda ne tinha q ser
chego nele e falo "o jao para com essa porra ai vai machuca alguem mano"
o palhaço olho pra ele sorrindo e ignoro
nao e q deu merda, o ronald mcdonald do caralho solto uma anilha bem no pe e ele começa a chora q nem um bebe, no mesmo timbre
o instrutor entro em choque
ai o palhaço tira o sapato nr 55 dele e mostra que nao pegou, seguido de um HONK HONK com o nariz
mano esse bagulho foi foda
o instrutor saiu e foi procurar a gerente da academia q tava na recepçao dando o cu sei la fazendo o q
quando eles voltaram o palhaço ja tava fazendo dropset de agachamento com 160kg, negada tava pirando vendo aquele cuzao
na hora o palhaço viu eles e agacho com tudo
as calça dele rasgou e começou a cair uma pa de jujuba e ele gargalhando
mano foi o pior dia da minha vida, amei
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damn bro i went to smart fit yesterday to do chest and triceps ok
there in the corner there's a crossfit area shit area kkkkkkkkkkkk I don't even know why I said that but so what
Anyway, I was doing a sweaty fly and then out of nowhere a clown enters my gym
old man I'm talking about a clown, not like the it or the sedge that's a half fuck of a clown
he's a real clown bro, cut the circus ones
smooth was on the bi-set rest so I kept an eye
bro, the clown doesn't go to the weight rack and picks up 3 25 kilo washers and starts juggling the stuff
damn already 25 kilos each
the fucking gym crashed to see that son of a bitch playing like it was a tennis ball
there one of the instructors, the shittiest one didn't have to be
I go up to him and say "jao stop with that shit, it's going to hurt someone bro"
the clown looks at him smiling and ignores
It's not like shit, the fucking ronald mcdonald drops a band right on his foot and he starts crying like a baby, in the same timbre
the instructor is in shock
then the clown takes off his shoe nr 55 and shows that he didn't take it, followed by a HONK HONK with his nose
man this shit was fuck
the instructor left and went to look for the gym manager who was at the reception giving her ass what she was doing
When they came back the clown was already doing a squat dropset with 160kg, I was freaking out watching that asshole
at the time the clown saw them and I crouched down with everything
his pants ripped and a piece of jelly beans started to fall and he laughed
bro it was the worst day of my life, i loved it
