Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Hello everyone, my name is Felix, and I work as a mailman. Anyway, I noticed one of the houses in my path is full of pigeons, shitting and...moaning, like sexually. I was very confused, as the whole house was now covered in bird shit, feathers,...and semen. The house smelled so bad that it made me gag, yet I was concerned for the residents, and anyway I had to deliver their mail. So I knocked on the door. No answer, just a strange rhythm. I peeked at the window. I will never forget what I saw.
A juicy, zesty, muscular black man was on his couch, driving a pigeon up and down his crotch, the pigeon was moaning like an overexaggerated porno, the man was moaning too, and I was having the time of my life, watching the man fuck pigeons. I immediately stripped naked and started to pump my schlong aggressively, semen coming out like water from a fire hydrant. I grabbed a pigeon, and started fucking the hell out of it, and it seems like my 10in cock was too much for the little guy, and he exploded into a million pieces of flesh, blood, and semen. For weeks, I am outside this house, endlessly fucking pigeons and throwing away their exploded remains, the neighborhood has done anything to stop me. They protested, called the police, yet no human or pain can take me away from my beloved. Pigeons.
The day have not been passed but this update is urgent.
Remember the pigeon I raped? Well he was suppose to tell his friends to be afraid of me INSTEAD, he went and told all his friends that I fuck and now I have a bigger problem. The pigeons, both male and female keep coming to my window sill and balcony and harassing me begging me to fuck them. There is 100x more shit on my balcony now. They keep cooing, moaning, and banging against my windows begging for the dick.
I can’t leave my house anymore because when I do, they recognize me and mob me humping me and moaning. My plan didn’t go as expected at all and I don’t know what to do now. I can’t sleep at night because of all the cooing, moaning and banging against the windows. Is there a way to make myself unattractive to the pigeons? Has anyone dealt with this before?
Also I heard news some new neighbour is coming into my town named "Jamal"
Today, I saw a pigeon land on my balcony and I absolutely lost my shit. I was struck with a primal urge to assert male dominance and went out, grabbed the pigeon, took it into my bathroom, and assfucked it raw over my toilet bowl. It felt good to show the pigeon who’s boss like how people do it in prison. My cock barely fit inside his small ass, and for a moment I thought my thrusts could kill or severely injure him. He started cooing and moaning, and he came all over my toilet bowl. I finished inside him raw.
I took him back to the balcony and released him so that he could tell all his friends how I humiliated him and pounded a gaping hole in his ass prison style. I thought this would scare them away for good.
Hopefully this bitch wont comeback with his friends.
I never thought I'd be sharing my story on Reddit, but here goes. My name is Puddles, and I am a pigeon. I had a traumatic experience today that I just can't seem to shake off.
I was innocently flying around, looking for some crumbs to snack on, when I landed on this man's balcony. Little did I know that this man was a monster. He started screaming and foaming at the mouth, and I could sense that something was off. He grabbed me and dragged me into the bathroom.
What happened next is too gruesome for words. He undid his trousers and started violently raping me. I tried to fly away, but his grip was too tight. I couldn't believe what was happening. The worst part is that he was enjoying it! The pleasure he was feeling was sickening.
After he was done, he released me and I flew away as fast as I could. I don't know if I'll ever recover from this. I'm so traumatized that I don't even know if I'll ever be able to fly again.
But what really baffles me is the reaction of my pigeon friends. When I told them what happened, they all said "I wish I was you." I just don't understand.
I hope no other pigeon has to go through what I went through today. I'm just grateful to be alive, but the memory of what happened will haunt me forever.
My son told me today he is a furry. He was sent away and we searched his room. His Google Chrome history was full of this group. I have seen unholy drawings and sick jokes that he posts here. We found a folder full of pornographic comics and something called based department. This group has destroyed my son. His mind is filled with naked animals. Groups like this need to be shut down and banned. That's all. Took me an hour to figure out how to post here - I hope you read this and see the lives you destroy. We will be having a VERY stern chat with him and he's not going to have social media access for a LONG time.
5:45 AM – Mohamed Atta and Abdul Aziz al-Omari, two of the intended hijackers, pass through security at the Portland International Jetport in Maine. They board a commuter flight to Boston Logan International Airport, they then board American Airlines Flight 11.
7:59 AM – Flight 11 takes off from Boston, headed for Los Angeles, California. There are 76 passengers, 11 crew members, and 5 hijackers on board.
8:15 AM – United Airlines Flight 175 takes off from Boston, also headed for Los Angeles. There are 51 passengers, 9 crew members, and 5 hijackers on board.
8:19 AM – A flight attendant on Flight 11, Betty Ann Ong, alerts ground personnel that a hijacking is underway and that the cockpit is unreachable.
8:20 AM – American Airlines Flight 77 takes off from Dulles, outside of Washington, DC, headed for Los Angeles. There are 53 passengers, 6 crew members, and 5 hijackers on board.
8:24 AM – Mohamed Atta, a hijacker on Flight 11, unintentionally alerts air controllers in Boston to the attack. He meant to press the button that allowed him to talk to the passengers on his flight.
8:37 AM – After hearing the broadcast from Atta on Flight 11, Boston air traffic control alerts the US Air Force’s Northeast Defense Sector, who then mobilize the Air National Guard to follow the plane.
8:42 AM – United Flight 93 takes off from Newark, New Jersey, after a delay due to routine traffic. It was headed for San Francisco, California. There are 33 passengers, 7 crew members, and 4 hijackers are on board.
8:46 AM – Flight 11 crashes into the World Trade Center’s North Tower. All passengers aboard are instantly killed, and employees of the WTC are trapped above the 91st floor.
9:03 AM – Flight 175 crashes into the WTC’s South Tower. All passengers aboard are killed instantly and so are an unknown number of people in the tower.
9:05 AM – President George W. Bush, in an elementary school classroom in Florida, is informed about the hit on the second tower. His chief of staff, Andrew Card, whispers the chilling news into the president’s ear. Bush later wrote about his response: “I made the decision not to jump up immediately and leave the classroom. I didn’t want to rattle the kids. I wanted to project a sense of calm… I had been in enough crises to know that the first thing the leader has to do is to project calm.”
9:28 AM – Hijackers attack on Flight 93.
9:37 AM – Flight 77 crashes into the Pentagon. All passengers aboard are instantly killed and so are 125 civilian and military personnel in the building.
9:45 AM – US airspace is shut down under Operation Yellow Ribbon. All civilian aircraft are ordered to land at the nearest airport.
9:55 AM – Air Force One with President George W. Bush aboard takes off from Florida.
9:57 AM – Passengers aboard Flight 93 begin to run up toward the cockpit. Jarrah, the pilot, begins to roll the plane back and forth in an attempt to destabilize the revolt.
9:59 AM – The South Tower of the World Trade Center collapses.
10:02 AM – Flight 93 plows into an empty field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Although its ultimate target is unknown, it was likely heading for either the White House or the US Capitol.
10:18 AM – President Bush authorizes any non-grounded planes to be shot down. At that time, all four hijacked planes had already crashed but the president’s team was operating under the impression that Flight 93 was still in the air.
10:28 AM – The North Tower of the World Trade Center collapses.
10:53 AM – Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld orders the US military to move to a higher state of alert, going to DEFCON 3.
11:45 AM – Air Force 1 lands at Barksdale Air Force Base near Shreveport, Louisiana.
12:15 PM – Airspace in the United States is completely free of all commercial and private flights.
1:30 PM – Air Force 1 leaves Barksdale.
2:30 PM – Rudy Giuliani, the mayor of New York City, visits the fallen Twin Towers of the World Trade Center at what becomes known as Ground Zero.
3:00 PM – Air Force 1 lands at Offutt Air Force Base in Nebraska, and President Bush is immediately taken to a secure bunker that is capable of withstanding a nuclear attack.
4:30 PM – Air Force 1 leaves Offutt and heads back toward Andrews Air Force base near Washington, DC.
5:30 PM – Building 7 of the World Trade Center collapses.
8:30 PM – President Bush addresses the nation.
