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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


AITA for not turning on airplane mode on my 3ds, killing 400 people, and losing my pokemon savegame?

    Ok, first of all, I still have a 3ds, yes. I'm fucking old school. Get with it, faggos. Anyway, me and my nigg family were going on vacay, and I brought my 3ds for the ride. It was loaded with gay porn, and windypanda1 rule 34 hentai. I get on the plane, and I can't grab one stewardess's ass without getting punched in the face, so that sucks. I turned on my 3ds to sext with SMUT_ADDICT, when all of a sudden, I shit and cum all over the plane. The entire plane is fucking covered in my sticky seed and anime shit. Anyway, the plane crashed and the only pussy I could save was MrSoftServe's tight pink, and the stylus hole in the 3ds, so while my family, and the passengers were dead, I fucked that hole with my noodle weewee all fucking night. Turn on airplane mode dipshticks.

    AITA For angrily telling my boyfriend to stop saying memes out loud in front of my tech illiterate parents?

      AITA For angrily telling my boyfriend to stop saying memes out loud in front of my tech illiterate parents?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. He is a cutiepie. I love how sweet, kind and sensitive he is. That being said, he always gets incredibly nervous around my parents even though they are extremely easy going. We are both about 18, and with the lockdown restrictions easing up due to less cases, my parents invited us over for dinner.

Usually, he says memes out loud once in a while. I thought he was just using them ironically, but he was actually serious about them. I don't know if he got nervous or if he wanted to make a good impression, but he repeatedly said memes out loud and explained them to my parents as a way to keep the conversation alive. This happened well over 3 times during dinner and I was mortified.

My dad was talking about his friend who was in the hospital battling the virus, and my boyfriend explained him the whole 'press F to pay respect' thing. My parents didn't interject so he said 'pikachu shock face' , 'destroyed 1000' in conversation.I kept trying to divert his attention towards me and wanted him to stop. I had finally had enough when he said 'stonks' and explained what it was when my dad talked about his business picking up again.

I literally held his hand, took him to my room and told himhe was being stupid as hell. I understand that he was nervous, but this behavior was honestly just bizarre

      We did it boys, racism is no more.

        My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you

        ***THIS IS WARNING ABOUT A SCAM***

          WARNING !!!!!

If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS. This is a scam and he is only trying to SEE YOUR TITS.

Please warn others that their tits may be at risk.

          Fuck you, Redditard

            Fuck you Redditard. You should be ashamed of yourself for stealing quality content such as his. You’re merely a plebeian nerd that likes to steal OC from content creators because you’re unable to create sophisticated and HILARIOUS content that is actually meant to be uploaded on iFunny not Reddit. You see, the difference is iFunny is for people who are not only witty, but extremely intelligent, thoughtful, and hilarious. Reddit on the other hand, is meant for silly nerd baffoons that don’t have a sense of humor, are stupid and not funny. A monkey sitting at a typewriter can come up with more quality content than you. Hell, my baby sister could probably come up with a more quality content username. If I did a poll right now on iFunny about you, we would all be shredding you to smithereens because quite frankly, you’re a pathetic loser. I just wanted to personally let you know that if I was your dad, I would disown you. You should really consider coming up with better, more quality content like the original uploader because the content you have is just pure bologna. I’m sick and tired with Redditards like you stealing quality content and then just posting it to reddit and thinking that you’re original and funny. Quite frankly, it’s just plain pathetic.

            AITA (am I the asshole) for literally being a perfect person?

              English is my fourth language and I'm writing this on my phone with a throwaway account using only my toes while reading Kierkegaard so please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. :)

So, a little backstory. I'm a 24-year-old female, 5'10, white (thank God), skinny with DD breasts and an ass that barely fits in skinny jeans. People often say that I'm the most stunningly gorgeous person they've ever met and I should consider modeling but I dunno lol. I'm childfree, an atheist, a meat lover, and strictly heterosexual.

Anyway, both my parents died in a Muslim terrorist attack when I was 12 along with all my aunts, uncles, and grandparents so I took it upon myself to raise all twenty of my siblings and cousins singlehandedly, working four full-time jobs while going to school, leading eight clubs, captaining the varsity volleyball, water polo, and basketball teams, and volunteering at a hospital all while maintaining a healthy social life. I'm currently working on my fifth Ph.D. in between running my successful non-profit to end global poverty, writing my eleventh novel, starring in the final Tarantino film, streaming Minecraft, protesting in Hong Kong, and phone banking for Bernie Sanders.

So I was at the hardware store picking out a chandelier to put in the house I'm building for the homeless when this fat, smelly, repulsive, gay, transgender "woman" walks up to me and shrieks, "you're oppressing me by being thin! Eat a fucking vegan burger you skinny slut!" I hit her with the "okay boomer," and she responded, "that's literally as offensive as calling me a n*gger!" Then she threw her slimy crotch goblin at me and screamed, "get her, Jayden! Infect her with your polio that you got because I refuse to vaccinate you!" I didn't wanna be a Karen and call the manager over to settle this so I took it upon myself to personally vaccinate her child right on the spot and saved his life. The "woman" then tried to convert me to Christianity so I kicked her in the balls and dragged her out of the store. Everyone clapped, the manager gave me $1,000 (which I donated to TeamTrees), and Obama reached out to thank me for my bravery.

So reddit. Fellow redditors. People of reddit. Denizens of reddit.com. Wise sages of the internet. Tell me the truth. Am I the asshole?

Edit: Wow, this got a lot more attention than I thought it would! Since a lot of people are asking, yes, I am a Navy SEAL and no, I have never pooped in my entire life. I was a quadriplegic after this incident but I overcame the paralysis very quickly because I'm not a little bitch. Also, because it seems to be relevant, here are the details of my sex life: I get plowed three to four times a day by my perfect lover, I'm into every kink imaginable, I have no gag reflex, and my tubes are tied so no worries there. Apparently sex with me cures all diseases and causes a bigger dopamine hit than heroin, but I dunno.