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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


This sub is the UNFUNNIEST place EVER on the internet.

    It comes from r/teenagers right?
    I have been in this shitty sub for almost a year and the humour here almost didn’t change at all. All of you here are so fucking unfunny it hurts to even open Reddit and see your “jokes” on my home page. The word 69 is not funny at ALL. 420 is also not funny. I know they are the sex and weed number but how is that funny at all? Do you just say “oh I’m almost about to get 69 karma haha funny”????? You’re not. Saying “penis” or when asked to say a joke “my life” isn’t fucking funny in any way. How is a whole group of teenagers SO UNFUNNY???? I used to have this type of “humour” for a bit (not that long so thank god) and after I realized how much it was being repeated I realized that you guys are embarrassing. No one out of Reddit likes or respects ANY of you. TIK TOK is funnier then here AND ALWAYS WILL BE. “So leave the sub” that won’t fix the sub though, will it? It hurts to see your “jokes”. Develop a sense of humor or just get out😐

    TIFU by putting my foreskin in the PS5 disc drive.

      Redditor in a nutshell
      Long story short i got a part of my foreskin ripped off. Not much but enough. Currently in the ER.
      
      Now long story: I was bored and couldn’t find a game to play and i was naked. So i walked up to the PS5 and did a mini squat, stretched my foreskin till about 5cm and put it in the disc drive.
      
      At first it started sucking the disc (dick haha) for a few seconds and then it stopped briefly. I stood there and looked into my tv with great shame for those few seconds. Then the console beeped once and proceeded to suck in the bottom of my foreskin and it had torn it off. A little piece but enough to start the bleeding.
      
      Now i’m currently in the ER getting my foreskin fixed, the culprit PS5 is still at home and i haven’t pressed charges. Never really told the doctors the truth either.
      
      TL;DR: i got a part of my foreskin ripped off by a rather aggressive playstation. Currently in the ER.

      Reddit female avatars turn me on

        Female Reddit avatars turn me on. Whenever I see a redditors profile avatar and it’s a female, it immediately makes me hard. Just the thought of them being a female makes me so horny. I beat my meat often to female Reddit avatars. I’ve produced so many gallons of cum looking at female Reddit avatars.

        i just ejaculated to your reddit avatar

          Redditmoment
          Sorry to bother you milady, but id like to inform you that i just ejaculated to your reddit avatar. I dont know why, its just so hot. omg the pink skin makes it even better

          So my “friend” has a small penis

            Micropenis is an unusually small penis like yours.
            So my "friend" has a small penis and was wondering what exactly is the cut-off point for having a micro-penis? My friend is far too terrified to Google image search this and I can't either for entirely different reasons. I feel bad for him because my penis is extremely large and very satisfying to women and definitely works perfectly all the time, so I wanted to help him answer this question. He says that if he's at least a little above the threshold it might make him feel better.
            
            Also, who is the piece of shit Doctor that coined the term "micro-penis" and why is it even considered a medical issue? Under what circumstances would a doctor even diagnose this issue? What does that conversation sound like? Is the doctor held responsible when the patient immediately jumps out of the nearest window upon receiving this diagnosis? These are all things my friend is curious about.
            
            Thank you for reading, and again, just to be clear,my penis is huge and wonderful and I definitely am not asking this question to regain at least a shred of confidence and self-esteem. And I absolutely do not need just this one small victory to continue getting out of bed in the morning.
            
            P. S. - obviously I'm asking this for myself and despite the tone of the post it is a serious concern of mine.

            Aimee Challenor

              Open TLDR
              Reddit recently hired a new admin, Aimee Challenor, a transgender woman who had previously been a politician in the UK. Aimee is publicly tied to two different instances of supporting pedophiles.
              
              The first, her father raped and abused a child, in the house Aimee was living in. After being arrested and charged for the crime, but before being tried and sentenced, Aimee hired her father to be her campaign manager for elections with the Green party, and gave a false name to the party on the paperwork. When this was found out, she claimed ignorance of the extent of his crimes, and was removed from the party for safeguarding failures.
              
              The second, her husband is an open pedophile, who posts erotic fiction about children. Aimee had joined the Lib Dem party, and was removed when her husband tweeted that he "Fantasized about children having sex...sometimes with adults, sometimes kidnapped and forced in to bad situations". Both Aimee and her husband claim that the twitter account was hacked at that time.
              
              Aimee accused both political parties of being transphobic when she was removed.
              
              The fact that she is trans has meant that she is a prime target for harassment or as a demonstration by TERF/hard right groups of how "terrible" trans people can be. This lead to Reddit (per their claims) secretly enabling protections, that all posts on Reddit would be automatically scanned, and if it was detected to be doxxing Aimee, it would result in an automatic ban. After however long of running undetected by the userbase, the automatic doxxing protection proceeded to ban a moderator of r/UKPolitics who posted a news article, as Aimee Challenor was mentioned by name in the article. r/UKPolitics went private and shut down to figure out what was happening, and the admins reinstated the mod's account. r/UKPolitics then re-opened and posted a statement, that the shutdown was due to a ban, the ban was caused by an article including a line that referenced a specific person who now worked for Reddit, and that they were specifically requesting people not post the person's name or try to find out who the person was, as site admins would issue bans for that.
              
              Word of getting banned for saying "Aimee Challenor" spread quickly, and other OOTL posts show some of the results of that - many people repeating her name and associations and support for pedophiles, and a few (notably significantly less) removed comments. The admins put out a statement on r/ModSupport, stating that the post had "included personal information", that the ban was automated, not manual, and that the moderation rule had been too broad and was being fixed. People who can post on r/ModSupport (you must be a moderator, or your comments are automatically removed) immediately took issue with every part of the statement, as:
              
              -There had been a number of manual removals and direct edits of comments by reddit staff as the incident escalated (The second being something u/Spez was previously guilty of, and said he would lock down to prevent abuse of during the T_D issues)
              -The ban and post deletion on r/UKPolitics had been hours after the post, not immediate (which would be expected of an automated process)
              -Nobody believed that Reddit was automatically scanning the contents of every link to check for blacklisted words (Edit, striking this part out, looks like the text of the article was copied in to a comment which is what was scanned.)
              -The definition of "personal information" had just changed so much that posting the name "Joe Biden" could be considered doxxing
              -Reddit had not commented at all on the "open support for pedophiles" part
              
              Many moderators also raised complaints in the post about their personal issues with being doxxed, and that they had been reaching out to Reddit staff about consistent harassment and doxxing of their mod teams with no help given by Reddit, or wondering why these protections weren't enabled for them. One notable post states that inaction from Reddit staff with regards to doxxing resulted in a situation so bad that they were forced to contact the FBI in the USA and the RCMP in Canada to resolve the situation.
              
              This continued to rapidly escalate, and a group of mods started pushing for a blackout of their subreddits, something that has forced Reddit's hand with regards to responding to issues before. The list has been changing through the night, as different subreddits join in or leave the blackout, either protesting the censorship, protesting Reddit's perceived proxy-support for pedophiles, or (in many cases) both.
              Open
              I’m not going down without a fight
              
              ...”On both occasions she appointed her father as her election agent, legally responsible for running her campaign, even though he had been accused of or charged with the crimes, which were reported to police in late 2015. By the time of May’s elections he had a trial date. Candidates’ election campaign leaflets are legally required to include the name of their agent or promoter. Challenor’s leaflets for both campaigns, seen by The Sunday Times, did not show her father’s correct name, instead giving it as “Baloo Challenor”. Baloo, a character from Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, was a nickname used by Challenor’s father in his work as an assistant Scout leader and volunteer with children’s gymnastics. He used his proper first name on the election nomination forms as Challenor’s agent.”
              
              Google that for the full article if you need context, and hey admins explain yourself please
              Open
              动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Aimee Challenor 六四天安門事件 Child of pedophile 天安門大屠殺 The r/ukpolitics massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Janny Struggle 大躍進政策 Powertripping 文化大革命 Streisand Effect 人權 Furry 民運 Brony 自由 Adult baby 獨立 Cant shower 多黨制 Looks like Chris Chan 台灣 臺灣 Definition of propaganda 中華民國 Free Reddit 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Child torture 達賴喇嘛 Rape 法輪功 Nathianel Knight 新疆維吾爾自治區 Self-confessed pedophile 諾貝爾和平獎 Failed politician 劉暁波 David Chanellor 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 They do it for free 劉曉波动态网自由门
              Open
              A man who held a 10-year-old girl captive in his "torture den" attic where he electrocuted her while playing out his sadomasochistic fantasies has been jailed for 22 years.
              
              David Challenor, from Coventry, subjected the child to a campaign of abuse which included tying her from a beam, whipping her and giving her electric shocks.
              
              A court heard how the 50-year-old would dress up as a small girl in adult-sized baby dresses and nappies before carrying out the attacks at his home.
              
              Challenor had "various sexual fetishes and fantasies" and when the victim was at his home he took her to the attic where he asked her “to do things to him” including performing oral sex.
              
              After leaving, she was initially too frightened to tell anyone what he had done, but eventually did so.
              
              She confided in someone who reported the incidents to the police.
              
              When he was arrested, Challenor denied the offences and claimed the girl was "a fantasist."
              
              Police searched his property and found bondage gear including sex aids, gaffer tape, dummies, a stun gun and ropes hanging from the beam in his dungeon-style attic.
              
              He even took photographs of the abuse carried out on the child which included attaching clips to give her electric shocks and putting pegs on her body.
              
              Challenor, who is married, accused the girl of lying but officers found the attic just as she had described.
              
              Despite the evidence he pleaded not guilty to charges including false imprisonment, rape, gross indecency, assault by penetration, indecent assault and assault causing bodily harm.
              
              Challenor also denied taking indecent images, making indecent images of children by downloading them, and possessing prohibited images.
              
              But after nine hours at the end of an 11-day trial, the jury at Warwick Crown Court unanimously found him guilty of all but one of the charges of taking indecent images.
              
              Prosecutor Andrew Wallace told jurors: “The defendant will call her a fantasist and a liar about the allegations, but she made them before the police went to the defendant’s house and made a search.”
              
              During the trial, Mr Wallace asked: “So what are the chances that the police on a later date find whips and various things at his house?
              
              “These are not things that are routinely in the knowledge of a child - so when the police go to the address and find items there which support that, that will help you decided ‘is she the liar or is Mr Challenor?'
              
              “Just the kind of things she talked about being used on her are there. She hasn’t invented them, they are there.”
              
              A memory card discovered in a digital camera contained indecent images, including some of the girl, which Challenor denied being responsible for taking.
              
              On another device were indecent images of children which had been downloaded from the internet.
              
              Challenor described in court the supposedly legitimate uses of each of the items found in the attic, as did his wife - but their accounts of what they were for did not always match.
              
              After the jury returned its verdicts, Mr Wallace read out an impact statement in which Challenor’s victim said she had been left traumatised by her ordeal.
              
              Challenor, who the court heard has medical issues, has been the full-time carer for his wife, who attended court in a wheelchair and was now unlikely to be able to remain in their home.
              
              He was jailed for 19 years for the offences against the girl, with a consecutive three-year term for the images, and was ordered to register as a sex offender for life.