Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
Context: My(16f) boyfriend(16.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001m) and i started dating around 3 months ago.
We met at this wonderful, cozy cafe that just had this amazing atmosphere and i immediately knew he was the one. Obviously, the first thing I asked him was his age, because, i didn't want to get groomed. It was a huge relief when he told me he was 15.748393837394049838283744929837594027264829837493929474893920753902973 years old, because i also happened to be that exact same age at the time (or so i thought). I was still a bit cautious though.
Fast forward to around 2 weeks ago, it was our birthday. The two of us were just celebrating, when we suddenly got a call from the hospital, informing us that my boyfriend's time of birth had been incorrectly registered as 1 Planck time (about 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 years) lesser than it actually was, due to a malfunction in the 45 ton quantum clock operating in the hospital at the time. (It's supposed to count seconds based on the orbital period of an electron in an atom of Silicon, but apparently, it was uncalibrated.) This meant he was actually 1 Planck time older than me.
I immediately started freaking out and, in a panic, anticipating i was about to get groomed, pushed my boyfriend down the stairs. Looking back on it, it might have been an overreaction, but it was in the heat of the moment, and i wasn't thinking straight. He ended up breaking his C1, C3, T7 and L3 vertebrae, and has yet to wake up from his coma.
Without him, I've been having a lot more time to think, so i began wondering if a 1 Planck time (0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 years) age gap is too much? Like, i know it's probably fine... but I'm just not comfortable dating someone that much older. I'm honestly thinking about breaking up with him if he ever wakes up from his coma. I just wouldn't be able to live in constant fear of being groomed. What do you guys think??
My black friend has a BDSM kink and when I was whipping him during sex my curtain fell down and now my neighbor thinks I keep slaves in my bedroom.
Okay some context here. My black friend, 28M (we’ll call him Jake, but his real name isn’t actually Jake), who used to be my coworker revealed to me that he had a BDSM Kink on my shift.
At first, I was at a loss for words, but didn’t want to keep the silence any longer since I didn’t want him to feel like I was judging him, so before I knew it, I started drooling from my mouth and grunting and got on all fours and chased him out of our work building and onto the streets. Jake climbed up a lamp post to escape me but I just sat under the lamp barking for 30 minutes before straightening my tie and returning to work.
The next day, Jake didn't come to work. At this point, I felt guilty as fuck, so I did the one thing that I could think of to make him trust me again: I shot him a text saying that I also had a BDSM kink and told him to meet me at my address today afternoon.
Sure enough, later that day, he met me outside my house carrying a bag of what he called "tools" and we went straight to our bedroom. He then poured out the contents of his bag onto my Lightning McQueen bedsheets, which were a whip, some body rope he called a "harness" and a yellow strap-on which must've been atleast 12 inches in length and 5 inches in girth.
It was when he inserted the strap on into my anus that I had realized I made a terrible fucking mistake. It's agonizing thinking about it, but it felt like someone shoved a dozen firecrackers up my ass and now they're repeatedly going off inside my anal cavity.
Finally, Jake said he wanted me to whip him with the whip. Sure, it felt weird since he was black, but he assured me it was okay and that we all understood what we were doing.
On the first whip, he let out a high pitched scream which concerned me a little bit since my window was open but the curtains were draw so I assumed my neighbour just thought I was beating my son or something. On the second whip he howled even louder than before, and on the final I started to really get the hang of it.
That was when the shit hit the fan. On my fourth whip, I decided that he really needs to get it and tried charging up my next strike like a Smash Bros character, but my attack got a little out of control and my whip made contact with the curtain rod, which subsequently made my curtain fall. Fuck.
And lucky me: my retarded ass neighbour was standing right there, looking into my window while my whip landed on Jake's bare ass which resulted in him howling like a alpha wolf. My neighbour gasped, and ran back into her house.
I'd wished to tell you she called 911, but instead she did the even worser thing and started telling everyone in the neighbourhood about my ownership of Jake and how I was probably keeping more locked up in my basement or something.
Eventually, the news spread and it got so bad to the point where I started getting beat up at night when I tried visiting my 711 for beer and every time I peer out my window I see people on trucks armed with shotguns just hunting me on the streets.
Anyways, I am now contemplating between staying inside for the rest of my life or admitting to them that I BDSM-style fucked Jake out of grief. Any responses would be appreciated.
Just unsubbed from r/FemBoys
Recently revisited r/FemBoys and i was blown away by how little the sub has gone down. It must be either unmoderated or the mods dont care, becuase contrary to the name of the subreddit it has almost no actual cisgender men. 70% of the content there is transgender women. There is a seperate porn subbreddit for transgender women. When i go to a subreddit for fememine men, I expect feminene men, not women. In fact I find it ridiculous that this is allowed under reddit rules, as the implication that trans women are simply femenine men feels really transphobic.
Ok so on one hand, she keyed my car and ripped up my chem homework. And then there's the time she recorded a video of her friends yelling at me until I started crying. She also constantly slaps me in the face. On the other hand, she's really attractive.
I'm just so confused. I don't know if she's playing hard to get or if she genuinely doesn't like me. I'm not sure if I should try to pursue her or just move on. I mean, I know I should let her actions affect my decision, but she is really attractive.
I'm 19 years old and my mom still breastfeeds me everyday. She doesn't really have milk or anything anymore, but everyday around 8pm, we snuggle and I suckle for 1-2 hours before she goes to bed. It's always been this way, and I see nothing weird about it. I know it's supposed to be some weird thing so I can't talk about in public.
It is a beautiful feeling and a beautiful experience. It doesn't get overly sexual, it's just two humans bonding and I wish society was more accepting of these types of things.
So i (27M) and my gf (27F) had have a wonderful relationship for 4 years. Recently though, Me and my friends decided to watch gay porn for the fuck of it, To our surprise when we saw thick thighed and big ass femboys lathered with oil wearing kawaii anime cosplay, we began furiously masterbating. Cum was flying all over the place some landed in my mouth but i swallowed it. When we finished it smelled like dirty and smelly cum. I was so fucking horny i asked my friend (70M) to cosplay venti, which he happily obliged. The next day we went to his house, what we saw so fucking hot we didnt even wait for a second we all sprinted to him and bukkaked his ass. I grabbed his sissy ponytail while complimenting how tight his ass was. He was so fucking hot while cosplaying venti. We creampied his fucking sissy ass, it was so fucking hot. Unfortunately my GF soon found out about this and threw a tantrum about how she was supposed to propose to me tomorrow. What can i do if femboys are so delectable? So reddit Am i the asshole?
