Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
My roommate keeps fucking his bed. How do I approach this?
I honestly donât know how else to put it.
So for context, my roommate warned me that he âsometimes sleeptalkedâ at night, but I had gotten extremely unlucky with my first two roommates⊠they were absolutely terrible. Inconsiderate, spoiled, and disgusting. Therefore, a clean, tidy, hygienic roommate sounded great and I thought that a little sleeptalking wouldnât hurt anyone.
The sleeptalking I can handle. The sleepfucking, on the other hand, I cannot handle. For clarification, the âsleeptalkingâ went from a few mumbles and groans (the first month) to nightly violent spring squeaking coming across the room.
This man will literally be pounding his mattress at 4 in the morning (itâs currently 4:30 and heâs just woken me up after rawdogging his mattress again). It got to the point where I had to use earplugs to sleep⊠but that caused me to miss my alarm and therefore, a class.
The other disturbing part is that he calls out names. He is currently single, and unfortunately, we have the same friend group. So occasionally, Iâll hear one of their names moaned out in the middle of the night. Hereâs what woke me up half an hour ago.
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak âuuuunghhhhhh Laurenâ squeak squeak âoh fuck yeahâ squeak
It only stops when 1: he climaxes. 2: he fucks the bed so violently that he bounces his himself up the bed and hits his head on the wall.
I have no idea how to approach this with him, since heâs very shy and tends to avoid/get quiet when there are sexual discussions (when heâs awake, at least.) I wouldnât want to make it awkward, but I canât deal with him waking me up all the time. How should I approach this?
Official Statement Regarding My Mom.
Ok, Iâm sorry for the off topic thread, but I feel like this needs to be said. Yesterday, at around 6:46 PM Eastern Time, a fellow redditoir in this sub- who I wonât name- claimed that they âslept with my momâ.
Let me get something straight. This anonymous redditoir didnât sleep with my mom. In fact, none of you have ever and will never do something liek that. I know that for a fact.
So, please, nobody believe them. If youâve seen the comment in question, just ignore them. Ok? Thanks
Iâm sorry for derailing the chicanery but this needed to be said.
Hey OP please stop replying to your own post. It's seen by karma farming by most of experienced Redditors and we definitely won't hesitate to down-vote your comments. Don't you think the karma points you've gained from the post itself are enough? There's no need to extend your metaphorical limb down the karma jar and pick up as much karma points as you can by clugging-up the whole comment section with your replies. I'll give you 10 minutes to delete the comments. When I come back I will down-vote them if they have not been removed.
Edit: Guys, you are down-voting the wrong person.
My long distance bf (18m) told me that I (18f) remind him of a reinsannce painting and that I was very pale and I told him I didnât take that as a compliment and he said why not its âhotâ and told me he was hard and that he wants me to be his mona lisa and he will paint me with his oils.
and then we started sexting and he said âdoes thou want me to cometh inside thyâ
it didnât stop there he went on to talk shakespearan for the rest of what felt like 2 hours saying things like âI want to breedeth theeâ, âalloweth me to fondle thy plump bosomsâ at one point he called me Elizabeth and told me to call him Henry VII of England⊠and wanted me to compliment him on how good of a monarch he is
I got really uncomfortable and expressed it to him and he got mad and said I killed the mood and he hopes I get the bubonic plague⊠we havenât talked since
As the title says, it's ruined our relationship has been ruined over this, my girlfriend has stopped going on dates with me because it doesn't involve skibidi toilet. She won't have sex with me because she claims "Skibidi toilet said not to", and worst of all she has made a borderline skibidi toilet religion, I can't take it anymore, I really love her but this has gotten too far.She also cries over not having her tablet to watch skibidi toilet, shes basically an ipad kid. What do I do?
