Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
I CAN’T FUCKING STAND THESE DISCOUNT "GANGSTERS" IN SCHOOL ANYMORE!!!
FIRST OF ALL, YOU ARE NOT TOUGH, TYLER. YOU’RE A 5’6" STRING BEAN WHO CRIES WHEN YOUR MOM TAKES YOUR PS5 AWAY. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU EAT KETCHUP SANDWICHES AND THINK IT'S A GOURMET MEAL. SHUT UP.
STOP SAYING "cuh I'm from the streets who you tryna fuck with?" WHAT STREETS? THE ONES IN YOUR SUBURBAN GATED COMMUNITY? "ayo I'm hard as hell" HARD WHERE??? THE ONLY HARD THING ABOUT YOU IS YOUR MOM TRYING TO GET YOU TO TAKE YOUR OWN SHOWER INSTEAD OF HER GIVING YOU YOUR FIFTH BUBBLE BATH OF THE DAY!
YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL BECAUSE YOU VAPE AND SMOKE WEED IN THE BATHROOM?? WOW BRO, NOTHING SCREAMS "I’M A BADASS" LIKE A WATERMELON FLAVORED CLOUD IN A STALL THAT SMELLS LIKE PEED-ON LINOLEUM AND LING CANCER. HONESTLY, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SELL USED VAPE PODS TO FIFTH GRADERS FOR LUNCH MONEY
ALSO STOP ACTING LIKE FLIPPING OFF THE TEACHER IS GANGSTER. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU’RE GONNA CRY IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND BE LIKE “PLEASE, MY MOM CAN’T FIND OUT” AND THEN PRETEND YOU’RE A THUG AGAIN IN FIFTH PERIOD. YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE GETTING YELLED AT WITHOUT YOUR VOICE CRACKING. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIHUAHUA ON A NICOTINE FIT
YOU ARENT FUCKING COOL FOR BEING A DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE CUNT. YOU ARENT COOL FOR MAKING YOUR ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM DO LAPS BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TELL THE COACH HES A PUSSY, AND YOU CERTAINLY ARENT COOL FOR GETTING THE ENTIRE CLASS IN TROUBLE BECAUSE YOU SPAT ON A SUBSTITUTE.
AND HOLY SHIT CAN YOU STOP SCREAMING SLURS LIKE IT’S A FUCKING PERSONALITY TRAIT? I SWEAR EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, A BABY ANGEL DIES. WHY DO YOU THINK BEING RACIST MAKES YOU COOL?? ALL YOU ARE IS AN UNSEASONED PASTY ASS CRACKER WITH THE EMOTIONAL RANGE OF A DRY ERASER.
AND THEN THERE’S THE FIGHTING. OH MY GOD THE FUCKING FIGHTING. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THROW HANDS. YOU SWING LIKE A DRUNK TODDLER WHO JUST LEARNED WHAT A FIST IS. THE REASON YOU’RE FIGHTING?? “HE LOOKED AT ME FUNNY.” WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING PEACOCK?? SIT DOWN, JERRY. YOU’RE NOT INTIMIDATING, YOU LOOK LIKE A HALF-DEFLATED CAPRISUN.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP CALLING YOURSELF A HOOD RAT. YOU’RE A FUCKING SPOILED, MILK-TOAST, UNSALTED BUTTER STICK OF A HUMAN BEING. YOU GET ANGRY WHEN YOUR STARBUCKS ORDER IS WRONG AND THEN TURN AROUND AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING CARTEL. NO ONE IS BUYING IT, BRADLEY. YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A DICK
YOU’RE NOT SCARY, YOU’RE NOT COOL, YOU’RE NOT A THUG. YOU’RE JUST A LOUD, INSECURE, ANNOYING LITTLE PRICK WHO THINKS ACTING LIKE A DICKHEAD IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR HAVING A PERSONALITY.
SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.
When i was young i had some kind of rot gut that caused me to shit every 10 minutes.
I remember trying to lay on the couch, in pain and clearly not having a good time. Every 2 seconds my grandma would try to spark up some inane conversation that i had 0 interest in.
I told her NUMEROUS times that im not going to respond, because i was busy dying.
Clearly she didnt get the hint and kept trying to talk about what was going on outside. After i just stopped responding, i was hit with the ol "I GUESS IM TALKING TO MYSELF HUH!?". Followed by "I see the kids across the street are playing" 2 minutes later.
Never did i want to beat someone into submission more in my life. But at that point, i dont think i could physically get up long enough to deliver that beating.
So i just drug myself to the other side of the house out of eye sight and had to drag myself to the bathroom every few minutes for the foamy white dumps to come.
I lose my lane in the first 5 minutes. I go 0-10 through the game. I have the least souls in the game. My build is shit. My aim is shit. My game-sense is shit. I am waiting to respawn for 50% of the game. I die first in team fights. All of this, but I still keep winning. My teammates carry me through every game. I have resigned myself to be the team backpack. I’m am doing nothing more than watching my wraith or haze assemble the stones to the infinity gauntlet and snap the entire enemy team out of existence. I am nothing more than morale support. I’m the water boy. I am the dancing monkey that entertains my team as they carry me to victory. The more I win, the harder the games get and the harder I throw. At this point I have Netflix open on the other screen to watch while respawning. I want to loose but my luck is too much. Some consider luck to be a part of skill. If that is true, how can someone have absolutely zero skill have so much luck? The other day I left my computer open and my cat walk over the keyboard. To my surprise, Bebop (my 10 y.o. Hairless cat) opened deadlock, queued Paradox, and demolished the enemy team 20-0. My cat is better than I am. I am lower than an animal. I want to uninstall the game, but my aim is so bad I cannot even hit the uninstall button. I try to play a different game but I accidentally open up deadlock and queue vindicta in a matter of milliseconds. I am sincerely sorry if I am on your team, you don’t want me to be there, I don’t want to be there. If you want to avoid me, I queue from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm central time, on the east coast servers. This is a warning for all who queue during these times. I apologize in advance. Goodbye to all, I am off to queue vindicta.
Started as a post on the University of Nevada subreddit, it became a meme due to the typo in the title that makes the whole thing so much funnier. Its part of a series of copypasta that started from university rant or post.
This is driving me insane and I’m losing sleep. At least twice a week my roommate will randomly sit up at like 3 am in his sleep and scream his lungs out. I mean full on screaming as if his life is in danger. It lasts like 12 seconds and then he’s right back to sleeping. It wakes me up every single time and scares the shit out of me. I asked him this morning if he has night terrors and he acts like he has no idea what I’m talking about. This has been going on for a month and a half and if it goes on any longer I’m going to lose my mind.
Part of a series of university/college copypasta that came from their respective subreddit and spread from there.
so i was sitting in the back row of my lecture and i realized my fly was unzipped. I was trying to fix it up before anyone saw me. however, my zipper was caught in the boxers, and it wouldn't move no matter how hard i tugged. this was creating a commotion, and these 3 girls were starting to stare.
so, i started making grunting noises to indicate i was trying to fix my pants. however, it seemed like it made it worse because they started whispering and more people started to stare. so eventually i just gave up and walked out the room.
when i came back, everyone kept giving me weird looks. i am really sorry for today and i just wanted to clear the air.
As a born and raised New Yorker, I don’t understand how anyone in NYC, the coffee capital of the world, still chooses Starbucks when we’re literally surrounded by the best independent coffee shops in the universe. Are you fucking kidding me bro?! There’s literally hand-poured, single-origin beans roasted by someone’s uncle in the back of a Brooklyn warehouse, and you’re gonna opt for a soulless corporate chain? How basic can you get?
Do you even care about supporting small businesses? Or do you just enjoy being a cog in the capitalist machine, getting your watered-down PSL with three pumps of sugar while pretending to live a “New York life”? And don’t get me started on the lack of creativity. “Oh, look at me, I’m holding a Starbucks cup, I’m soooo New York.” No, you’re not. You’re just lazy.
If you’re paying $6 for a cup of coffee, at least give it to the places where the baristas know your order AND your name. Seriously, go to any corner in Bushwick, the coffee shops have actual culture. Meanwhile, Starbucks’ “baristas” are misspelling your name on purpose.
EDIT: First time posting on circle jerk ny & I’m so proud of myself cause I really got a bunch of you thinking I’m dead serious. Using this as evidence for my claim that media literacy should be a required course before students graduate cause some of yall are dumb as hell lmaooo.