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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


Rabies

    Rabies. It's exceptionally common, but people just don't run into the animals that carry it often. Skunks especially, and bats.
    
    Let me paint you a picture.
    
    You go camping, and at midday you decide to take a nap in a nice little hammock. While sleeping, a tiny brown bat, in the "rage" stages of infection is fidgeting in broad daylight, uncomfortable, and thirsty (due to the hydrophobia) and you snort, startling him. He goes into attack mode.
    
    Except you're asleep, and he's a little brown bat, so weighs around 6 grams. You don't even feel him land on your bare knee, and he starts to bite. His teeth are tiny. Hardly enough to even break the skin, but he does manage to give you the equivalent of a tiny scrape that goes completely unnoticed.
    
    Rabies does not travel in your blood. In fact, a blood test won't even tell you if you've got it. (Antibody tests may be done, but are useless if you've ever been vaccinated.)
    
    You wake up, none the wiser. If you notice anything at the bite site at all, you assume you just lightly scraped it on something.
    
    The bomb has been lit, and your nervous system is the wick. The rabies will multiply along your nervous system, doing virtually no damage, and completely undetectable. You literally have NO symptoms.
    
    It may be four days, it may be a year, but the camping trip is most likely long forgotten. Then one day your back starts to ache... Or maybe you get a slight headache?
    
    At this point, you're already dead. There is no cure.
    
    (The sole caveat to this is the Milwaukee Protocol, which leaves most patients dead anyway, and the survivors mentally disabled, and is seldom done).
    
    There's no treatment. It has a 100% kill rate.
    
    Absorb that. Not a single other virus on the planet has a 100% kill rate. Only rabies. And once you're symptomatic, it's over. You're dead.
    
    So what does that look like?
    
    Your headache turns into a fever, and a general feeling of being unwell. You're fidgety. Uncomfortable. And scared. As the virus that has taken its time getting into your brain finds a vast network of nerve endings, it begins to rapidly reproduce, starting at the base of your brain... Where your "pons" is located. This is the part of the brain that controls communication between the rest of the brain and body, as well as sleep cycles.
    
    Next you become anxious. You still think you have only a mild fever, but suddenly you find yourself becoming scared, even horrified, and it doesn't occur to you that you don't know why. This is because the rabies is chewing up your amygdala.
    
    As your cerebellum becomes hot with the virus, you begin to lose muscle coordination, and balance. You think maybe it's a good idea to go to the doctor now, but assuming a doctor is smart enough to even run the tests necessary in the few days you have left on the planet, odds are they'll only be able to tell your loved ones what you died of later.
    
    You're twitchy, shaking, and scared. You have the normal fear of not knowing what's going on, but with the virus really fucking the amygdala this is amplified a hundred fold. It's around this time the hydrophobia starts.
    
    You're horribly thirsty, you just want water. But you can't drink. Every time you do, your throat clamps shut and you vomit. This has become a legitimate, active fear of water. You're thirsty, but looking at a glass of water begins to make you gag, and shy back in fear. The contradiction is hard for your hot brain to see at this point. By now, the doctors will have to put you on IVs to keep you hydrated, but even that's futile. You were dead the second you had a headache.
    
    You begin hearing things, or not hearing at all as your thalamus goes. You taste sounds, you see smells, everything starts feeling like the most horrifying acid trip anyone has ever been on. With your hippocampus long under attack, you're having trouble remembering things, especially family.
    
    You're alone, hallucinating, thirsty, confused, and absolutely, undeniably terrified. Everything scares the literal shit out of you at this point. These strange people in lab coats. These strange people standing around your bed crying, who keep trying to get you "drink something" and crying. And it's only been about a week since that little headache that you've completely forgotten. Time means nothing to you anymore. Funny enough, you now know how the bat felt when he bit you.
    
    Eventually, you slip into the "dumb rabies" phase. Your brain has started the process of shutting down. Too much of it has been turned to liquid virus. Your face droops. You drool. You're all but unaware of what's around you. A sudden noise or light might startle you, but for the most part, it's all you can do to just stare at the ground. You haven't really slept for about 72 hours.
    
    Then you die. Always, you die.
    
    And there's not one... fucking... thing... anyone can do for you.
    
    Then there's the question of what to do with your corpse. I mean, sure, burying it is the right thing to do. But the fucking virus can survive in a corpse for years. You could kill every rabid animal on the planet today, and if two years from now, some moist, preserved, rotten hunk of used-to-be brain gets eaten by an animal, it starts all over.
    
    So yeah, rabies scares the shit out of me. And it's fucking EVERYWHERE. (Source: Spent a lot of time working with rabies. Would still get my vaccinations if I could afford them.)

    For the love of all that is holy please add easings to your camera controls.

      Comment
      byu/_Rainn_ from discussion
      ingeometrydash

      Created by u/Coinvessel, its a comment meant to highlight the overuse of camera controls by level designers in Geometry Dash.

      For the love of all that is holy please add easings to your camera controls. You don't know how big of a difference selecting "ease in and out" for an easing makes for really anything. I also agree with u/AI_Rapee's comment where just adding camera controls and effects doesn't make it a 2.2 version. A 2.2 version would be a complete modernization of the gameplay, with new gamemodes, orbs, and other mechanics, and the camera controls and effects would be an afterthought. The main reason why people were afraid for 2.2 was because of how easily camera controls and effects could ruin a level, like this post for example. They should be used sparingly to only enhance the visuals of the level and never affect the playability of the level. If you really want to make a 2.2 version of bloodbath, I'd recommend starting from scratch and really focusing on making the gameplay as fun as possible 

      My wife keeps grouping with a dps warrior

        My wife keeps grouping with a dps warrior 
        
        I'm leveling as prot. I want to play warrior how it should be played: tanking dungeons and smashing heads with my shield. I'm solo self found, so it's a bit tough & I've fallen behind a few levels. I enjoy being able to play with my wife's mage. I thought playing together would bring us closer.
        
        She met a friend while leveling in higher level zones. He only plays DPS warrior. She keeps insisting he groups with us. I can hear her laughing at the stuff he whispers to her while we're dungeoning. He was able to level more quickly than me because he kept getting the best 2h weapon he could find and killing mobs. It's especially annoying because he constantly pulls mobs off of me. I tell him to wait for threat, but he says stuff like "the honeybadger pulls when he wants!" and just uses the rage from their attacks to do even more damage. He constantly talks about his Tesla and goes "Mind if I roll NEED" in a goblin voice whenever tank gear drops.
        
        After we do dungeons together, my wife will often go in a private "DPS only" call with him to compare their meters. Sometimes she will stay in that call for an hour or more. She locks her door while she's in it. I baked cookies for us and tried to share them. She told me to just slide them under the door one by one. I felt pathetic doing it.
        
        Does anyone have any tips on how I can catch up in leveling? I want to be high enough level to not worry about this stuff anymore.
        

        You didn’t smell it did you? I hope not…

          Comment
          byu/billie_tate from discussion
          inwhatsthisplant
          You didn’t smell it did you? I hope not… when this plant senses heat source near it, ie mammals, it releases tiny spores. If inhaled they make their way into the sinus cavity, attach to the mucosa which is the way it gets into your bloodstream. Once in your bloodstream the spores begin to replicate. Basically you have now become the host, and it is now feeding off of you, taking over your body, you begin to become the plant. But before this process is complete, it will take control of your mind and have you go on a long hike so that as you begin the change from your head down, parts of you will fall off and take root along the hiking trails so that the next unsuspecting hiker comes along, says “Wow, how beautiful!”, gets down close for a good close-up shot and the whole thing starts all over again. 

          Fitgirl can NOT have a virus!!!!!!

            Fitgirl can NOT have a virus!!!!!!
            
            Let me break it down for you, champ: I only download from THE OFFICIAL SITE, so it’s literally impossible for me to get a virus. Literally. Impossible. As we speak, I’m unzipping a 90GB repack of a game I’ll play for five minutes using WinRAR—the 2016 version, obviously, because updating it is for cowards. You think I’m worried about exploits? Please, those are for people who don’t know how to click “Skip All” during installation. Maybe if you weren’t downloading “fitgirl-repacks-bestgames-free.ru,” you wouldn’t be crying about malware.
            
            I’m untouchable. My antivirus doesn’t even blink when I install cracked games because it knows I’m a professional. Not only do I have the ancient wisdom of Reddit telling me everything is fine, but I’m also extensively trained in spotting fake repacks by vibes alone. And here you are, thinking you know better, while I’m confidently pirating games that I could easily buy on Steam for $5 during a sale. Absolute amateur hour.
            
            If only you knew the bliss of downloading hundreds of gigabytes of games without a care in the world, maybe you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by suggesting piracy isn’t safe. But you did. And now you’re paying the price for your ignorance, fool. I’m going to compress your entire argument into a corrupted .RAR, throw in a couple of fake DLLs, and watch you panic when your PC starts beeping like a microwave. You’re done, kid. FitGirl isn’t just a name—it’s a lifestyle. A dumb one, sure, but a lifestyle nonetheless.

            I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter.

              I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.
              
              Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.
              
              As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically.