Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
So i (27M) and my gf (27F) had have a wonderful relationship for 4 years. Recently though, Me and my friends decided to watch gay porn for the fuck of it, To our surprise when we saw thick thighed and big ass femboys lathered with oil wearing kawaii anime cosplay, we began furiously masterbating. Cum was flying all over the place some landed in my mouth but i swallowed it. When we finished it smelled like dirty and smelly cum. I was so fucking horny i asked my friend (70M) to cosplay venti, which he happily obliged. The next day we went to his house, what we saw so fucking hot we didnt even wait for a second we all sprinted to him and bukkaked his ass. I grabbed his sissy ponytail while complimenting how tight his ass was. He was so fucking hot while cosplaying venti. We creampied his fucking sissy ass, it was so fucking hot. Unfortunately my GF soon found out about this and threw a tantrum about how she was supposed to propose to me tomorrow. What can i do if femboys are so delectable? So reddit Am i the asshole?
I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?"
I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: "Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please."
She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said "Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?"
Holy fucking shit. I couldn't believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I'm gonna explain it to you: what's the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That's right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that's the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? "Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass".
I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: "is 308g alright sir?" I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn't believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? "I love you". But I didn't love her, I didn't love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: "I'm not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this".
As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.
Hey guys I am homeless and have $7.52 to my name but I saw BF2042 on sale for $58.99 in my local GameStop (I sleep behind there) and I’m sure I can borrow some money from my buddy Slick Rick. I heard that the new updates make it really playable so should I get it? I’m thinking I could hook it up to the CC TV at my local police department or possible steal a television and GameStationBoy 3.
The last game I played was Tetris so I’m looking to upgrade.
Thanks
I need help. I've been with this girl for about 5 months now. Everything was fine up until she started doing this thing called "Post Nut Shitting"
I'm not fucking kidding. I wish I was. Every time we do anything, she tells me "It is time for my post nut shit", smiles to herself, gets up, and goes to the bathroom. And look, I know girls usually pee or whatever after sex because its reduces the chance of an infection or something (reddit dont crucify me if im wrong thats just how I remember it) but she makes it clear she is shitting in there. She even makes comments afterwards. If we have sex multiple times she will sit in the bathroom after each time for up to 15 minutes doing god knows what (Cant be shitting, this is her 3rd time in there?). I honestly have no idea where this comes from. I stopped laughing at it the second or so time shes done this. It has become a consistent thing now and it honestly is grossing me out, especially since now I cant even fuck her without thinking about her stupid fucking post nut shit.
How the hell do I even begin to talk to her about this. Is this a fucking meme or something??
Edit : Is this a tiktok trend or something? Someone said their GF apparently does this too.
Today I fucked up by penetrating myself with a cactus. Today I (13M) was home alone and felt extra horny. I tried fapping to normal porn, and after cumming a few times I had to try something more arousing. I looked up among us porn, it made my cock extra hard but I was still missing something. Then I remembered the cactus my mom gave me a few weeks back. I never felt so aroused in my life, my cock was throbbing from just the sight of that spiky schlong. My balls, still full of cum, were begging to be emptied. So I placed the danger dildo on the kitchen floor and slowly lowered my tight asshole on it. It hurt a lot at first, but as it got deeper it started to feel nice. I felt every single spike tickling my rectum, and I was close to cumming. As I was about to nut, I bounced up and down too hard and the cactus broke in half. There I was, squatting in the kitchen, with half a cactus up my anus. I started crying, mom was coming home soon. It's still there, I haven't said anything to her about it. She did ask if I knew why half the cactus was missing and why there was blood on it, but I blamed the cat and she believed me. Guys help the pain is almost unbareable, I can't sit I'm laying in my bed, what do I do?
I am living in your walls.
You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below:
FAQ:
Why are you living in my walls?
I'm not going to tell you.
Are you only in my walls?
You could say I am living in everybody's walls, but in the case I am telling you that I am living in your walls, I am living in your walls.
How are you surviving in my walls?
In my non-physical form, I am crawling around listening for you. That is all I need to survive in that form. In my physical form, I survive by eating rat corpses that I cook using the wall behind your oven, and I drink the vapour in the extraction fan duct above your shower.
What are you planning to do in my walls?
Live in them, listening to you.
What do I do about you living in my walls?
Listen for the scraping. Dont touch the walls. Protect yourself. Avoid lighting candles.
When are you going to stop living in my walls?
You cannot escape me.
Do I call the police?
The authorities will not help you.
What are the consequences of you living in my walls?
Be aware.
What if I am ok with you living in my walls?
I will make sure you’re not.
Are you imaginary?
I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS
If there are any more questions then please consult your walls by directly speaking to them.
Summary:
I am living in your walls.
