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Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


FOREVER ♾️♾️♾️FAP 💦🍌🤏FEBRUARY

    We're halfway 🥑 through JUST 😏😏😏JERK 👌🍆💦 JANUARY☃️☃️😳😳, so it's time to get ready for... FOREVER ♾️♾️♾️FAP 💦🍌🤏FEBRUARY2️⃣!!! THAT'S RIGHT, WE WERE JUST GETTING WARMED 😏UP THIS MONTH!🤯🤯🤯 Already feeling TIRED😮‍💨?
    
    Got no chocolate 0️⃣🍫🍫🍫on VALENTINE'S 2️⃣💝1️⃣4️⃣? WELL NOT TO WORRY😔 MY DEAR FARMING TOOLS😈😈, because it's time for FOREVER ♾️♾️♾️FAP 💦🍌🤏FEBRUARY2️⃣!!! Whip out your GLIZZY🥵🥵 and FAP😧🥴😩✊🍆🌊🌊🌊🌊🧻till you're DIZZY🤪 because it's time🕒🔜 to train🏋️ your French🤮🤮🤮 CHIPOLATA🍗 into a German🇩🇪😈 BRATWURST🍗🍗🍗

    Roth IRA

      🗣 HEY all my money 💰 hungry SLUTS 😩 we are bag 💼 chasing 🏃‍♀️ in 2023!!! So stop grinding on that DICK 🍆 and start grinding for that DOUGH 🍞🤑 We know you work HARD😩😰for that ca$h 💵 so make that ca$h 💵 work HARDER for you 🫡😈 deposit that LOAD 💦 of money💰 into a brokerage account 🏦 and watch it grow 🍌😳 contribution limits to Roth IRAs are $6.5k in 2023 🤯🤑 take it all at once if you can handle it 😤🥵 or put a little in each month 🤏 🗓 either way you’re still growing that bread 🥖 with cumPOUNDING 💦 interest 💰💸 make your DADDY proud 🥰 by putting your money 💵 where your mouth 👄 is 😩😮 send this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your sluttiest 🤫🤩 money👅😋 hungry hoes 😻 get 0️⃣ back and you’re just another Bernie Madoff 🫣 BROKIE 😣🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏼 get 5️⃣ back and you’ll be HOWLING 🐺 all night long like the wolf of Wall Street 😫😌 get 1️⃣5️⃣ 🙀 back and you’ll be having a Warren BUFFET of all the COCK 🍆 and CASH 💰 you want in 2023 😝😍🤑

      Cocktic Christmas

        Hey there you pewbic preachers 🥵 🤲 🤤 🙏 ⛪️ 👅 you cross bearing cocksuckers ✝️ 🥴 ✊🏻 🍆 💦 💦 ⛪️ you kinky clergymen 🤵🏻+ 👩🏽 = ✝️💦 🛌 😏 it’s time to get nailed 🔨 💨 😩 🥵 railed 👨🏻+ 👨🏻 + 👩🏽 = 🚂 😓 and impaled 👉🏻 👌🏻 😉 ♾️ like the hoely spirit 👻 & 💁🏻‍♀️ + 💁🏻‍♀️ = ✂️ 🍑 😋 this year 📅 because it’s Cocktic Christmas 🎅🏾 ✊🏻 🥖 💦 🤶🏼 🦌 🦌 🎄 🌲 🧝 So if you’re down to copt a feel 👋🏻 🍑 & 🍒 👁️🫦👁️during cuntfession 🦵🏻♦️🦵🏻 🖐️ 🐸 🖐️👅👅👅 🦵🏻🪰🦵🏻 then seek those naughty nuns 👩🏽 💁🏻‍♀️ ✂️ 🚿 🥵 that’ll repent 🙏 and bent 👋🏻👁️👅👁️🖖🏻all down the chimney 🪵 🌲 💨 🔥 🤤 It’s been a cold 🥶 🧊 and wet 💦 🌊 winter ❄️ so far, but as the floods ⛰️ 🌊 ☠️ come, it’s time to embark 🤠 👋🏻 🍑 on the ark 🛶 💦 😈 and ride 🐎 that wooden winter splinter 🎅🏾 🌲 💨 😮‍💨😮‍💨all queefinox long 🌞 🌚 🌝 = 🛌🔞🔞 🤫 Hoepefully you can leave a nudge smudge 🥕 🍒 💦 👄 before heavenly daddy 👨🏻 🥵 judge thee to seven minutes ⌛️ in hoely heaven. 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ 🏝️ 😌 Don’t forget to dickorate 🍆 🫦 😏 the tree 🌲 🪵 🐿️ 🥜 🍼 💦 🥛 so that you can savor that sweet spruce juice 🪵 🥛 🤤 until you get to scratch an itch from Ms. Claws 😜 👅 🦵🏻 🦞 🦵🏻 🌚Send this to 10 pussyhound priests ✝️ 👦🏻 👨🏻 👉🏻 👌🏻 ⛪️🔞🔞to get your crucifix baptized✝️🍼💦💦🤤Or else, the only thing nailed 🔨 🥊 🦵🏻 🐠 🦵🏻 🤢 will have been from 2023 years ago 👼 ☁️ ☀️ ✝️🧖🏻‍♂️

        January 6th

          🗣guess what day it is🗣⁉️ that’s right ✅ it’s january 6️⃣th‼️‼️🇺🇸 all my cock loving 😍🍆CUMservatives 💦 let me hear you moan 😩😫 YAAASSSS daddy donald 😍 😫😤 one year ago today 📆 a LOAD 🥵💧of our brave brothers 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️ and BRATTY 😳 stepsisters 👯‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️ rode 🔥😏 that TRUMP TRAIN🚊🚂 all the way to the capitol 🏛 where they BUSTED 💦💦💦 in to protest 🤬😡 a rigged 🔗⛓ ERECTION 🤯🤯🤯 and defend 🤜🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻 our freedom 🇺🇸 to FUCK ‼️‼️😍😜 insurrection? ❌ more like insurSEXion 😏💦 fake news 😠🤥🤡 wants you to think 💭💭 it was a terrorist attack 💣💥 on democracy 😒😭😖 but the only terror 😳😱was how HARD 🥵 our CLIT-licking 😛🍭🍦 liberators 🇺🇸 FUCKED😈🤗🍆 send this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your sluttiest 🤫🤩🍌 cock sucking 👅😋 conservatives 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 get 0️⃣ back and you’re just another throbbing member 🍆🍆🍆of congress 😣🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏼 get 5️⃣ back and you’re a secret 🥸🧐 antifa agent🕵🏻😌 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you’re a full fledged 😜🇺🇸true ameriCUNT 🍑🇺🇸
          Happy 🏳️🥳 Insurrection Day 🥳🏳️ you patriotic 🦅 pussy smashers! 💯👌 On this day 🗓️ 1 year ago thousands of horny 🥵 MAGA 🚩sluts 🚩 CAME down hard  💦💦 on the capit-HOLE 👅 building 🏛️. They pounded 😡👊 and smashed  🍆😩 the capitol police 👮‍♂️🚨 until they penetrated 😏 deep into the capitols walls 🍑. And when they pushed 🤬 inside 👌 things got real 🔥 HOT 🔥 and HEAVY 😯😩 Police got a long 🍆 hard 💎 flag pole ⛳ up the ASS 🍑. Ashli babbitt 👸 took some fat 🤩 wet 😍 shots 🔫 to the chest 📿. Officer Goodman 👮‍♂️ wouldn't let any COCK hungry CUMMY-servatives in congresses 👴👵 chambers 🩲, he wanted all that 💦💦 hot and angry 😠 JIZZ 💦💦 for himself 🤤 Daddy 🍊😝 Trump 😝🍊 called them beautiful 🤗 and everyone sucked 😛 and fucked 😵 and flew home happy ✈️🌈
          
          Send this 🍊🍊 TREMENDOUS TEXT 🍊🍊 to 🔟 🦞✝️ RADICAL REPUBLICANS✝️🦞 If you get 0 back you're a Naughty 😌 Nancy Pelosi 🤢🤮🤮 Get 5️⃣ back and you'll get RIMMED ⭕😝 and RAMMED 🍑😫 by 💖 Donald 💖 Trump 💖 Jr 🍊👑 Get 🔟 or more back and you can Hang 🤙Mike Pence 👴 by his wrinkly balls 🏐🏐 and MAKE 🚩AMERICA 🚩 GAG 🚩AGAIN!! 🚩
          Happy 😊 insERECTION ✊🍆💦 Day 🌞 my slutty 😩 little 🙇‍♂️ PATRIOTS 🇺🇲 !!! TODAY 📅 is the day 🌞 DADDY 🙍‍♂️ TRUMP 🍊 ORDERED 👉 THE PROUD 🏳️‍🌈 BOYS 🙍‍♂️ to STORM ⛈️ the capitol's GIRTHY 😏 DOME🍄 and PENETRATE 👉👌😩 the HALLS 🏛️of CONGRESS 👨‍💼 and our DEMOCRACY 🇺🇲 wasn't 🚫 the only 🔞 one ☝️ to ⤵️ go down ⤵️ that day 🍆😏 TODAY 🌞 is a DAy📅 to SLURP UP🍴👅 FACEBOOK 💻🧓🧓MISINFORMATION AND HUNT 🏹🏹for SATANIC 👹😈CANNIBALS ☠️🍖AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD PIZZA 🍕👨‍🍳PLACE !!! MAKE SURE ✅ TO CHECK👀 YOUR 5G 📞TOWER 🗼 FOR THAT SWEET 🍪AND SALTY🧂 😏 PATRIOT. 🇺🇲 JUICE 🍹!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲 !!!
          Happy 😊 InsERECTION✊🏻 🍆💦 Day 🌞my slutty 😩little🙇 PATRIOTS🇺🇸!!! TODAY 🕛📅is the day🌞 DADDY👨🏻‍🦰TRUMP🍊 ORDERED 👉🏻the PROUD 🏳️‍🌈BOYS 👨🏼‍❤️‍👨🏼 💅🏻to STORM ⛈ the Capitol’s GIRTHY 😏 DOME 🍄 and PENETRATE 👉🏻👌🏻😩the HALLS🏛of CONGRESS👨🏼‍⚖️. THAT'S RIGHT✔✅✔ Things got KINKY⛓🤫and our DEMOCRACY 🇺🇸wasn’t🚫the only🔞one👆🏻 to ⤵️go down⤵️ that day 🍆😉. TODAY📅 is a DAY🌞 to SLURP UP🍴👅FACEBOOK 💻👵🏻MISINFORMATION🚨🗣📰AND HUNT🔍🔎 for SATANIC 👹👿👺CANNIBALS ☠️🍖🍽 AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD🏡 PIZZA PLACE🍕👨🏻‍🍳!!! MAKE SURE ✔ TO CHECK 🔍🔎YOUR 5G 📶TOWER🗼🍆 FOR CORONAVIRUS 😷 TOO, BECAUSE THE DEEP 🕳STATE 🇺🇸 IS A SNEAKY👟 CUCK🐓! SEND💌📬📫 THIS⬇TO1⃣5️⃣ OF YOUR SLUTTIEST😫😩😫  INSURRECTIONISTS😡🔫 OR JFK JR 👱🏻‍♂️🪦WON'T🚫🚫 RISE ⬆🤤FROM THE GRAVE ⚰ TO FILL YOUR BIG❗ OL' Q-ANUSSY 🍑 WITH HIS PRESIDENTIAL 🇺🇸🏛CUMMIES 💦💦💦!!!
          **✨Don’t Tread👠On🐍THIS PU$$y😽💦bc 💣BANG 💥 BANG it’s 🍆INSurrERECTION 😭 Day my 😋 🥵 HOT 🇺🇸election ⚖️stealing $LUT$ 🥺🤤 R U rdy .. 2 Lap Up😛 👅The 🩸Cummie Scum??? 😈 NA$TY Pelosi is🤮 ridin dirty🐎🐎🤠wit Mike PENISe🤡bc he’s HUNG😵☠️ like a 🐎🐴😩BUTT first 🍑U gonna. jerk👊🍆 me off in🏛Washingcum DP 🤤✞ 🇺🇸 && I’LL 🎇💦BURST🥺in yr wet walls of CUMgress💦😩
          
          BUTT 🍑 don’t 4gt the DEEP🤤SNAKEs🐍 R REAL😵&& We The Sheeple🐑 🤡full of ☠️CUMMIE-19💉wiLL PAY 🪓⚰️ && we WILL Stomp The Steal 🦭🤫 for our 🖤free-DOMs ⛓
          
          so DON🇺🇸 ✞ ur 💦HORNYHELMETS💦 && 🇺🇸🇺🇸Let’s Go Brqndon🇺🇸🤡.. &&🤤😋MATE Amerika SexXxY😈AF agin✨🎇
          
          NOWunmask😷yourFAT🤤JUicy A$$🍑🤛&& $eXxT THIS to6️⃣9️⃣Members😉 of CongrASS🍑 TO UNLICK🔓a Year 📅 of LuckY🍀🍆FuckYs❌❌❌
          Happy 🏳️🥳 Insur-SEX-tion Day 🥳🏳️ you patriotic 🦅 pussy smashers! 💯👌 On this day 🗓️ 1 year ago thousands of horny 🥵 MAGA 🚩sluts 🚩 CAME down hard  💦💦 on the capit-HOLE 👅 building 🏛️. They pounded 😡👊 and smashed  🍆😩 the capitol police 👮‍♂️🚨 until they penetrated 😏 deep into the capitols walls 🍑. And when they pushed 🤬 inside 👌 things got real 🔥 HOT 🔥 and HEAVY 😯😩 Police got a long 🍆 hard 💎 flag pole ⛳ up the ASS 🍑. Ashli babbitt 👸 took some fat 🤩 wet 😍 shots 🔫 to the chest 📿. Officer Goodman 👮‍♂️ wouldn't let any COCK hungry CUMMY-servatives in congresses 👴👵 chambers 🩲, he wanted all that 💦💦 hot and angry 😠 JIZZ 💦💦 for himself 🤤 Daddy 🍊😝 Trump 😝🍊 called them beautiful 🤗 and everyone sucked 😛 and fucked 😵 and flew home happy ✈️🌈
          
          Send this 🍊🍊 TREMENDOUS TEXT 🍊🍊 to 🔟 🦞✝️ RADICAL REPUBLICANS✝️🦞 If you get 0 back you're a Naughty 😌 Nancy Pelosi 🤢🤮🤮 Get 5️⃣ back and you'll get RIMMED ⭕😝 and RAMMED 🍑😫 by 💖 Donald 💖 Trump 💖 Jr 🍊👑 Get 🔟 or more back and you can Hang 🤙Mike Pence 👴 by his wrinkly balls 🏐🏐 and MAKE 🚩AMERICA 🚩 GAG 🚩AGAIN!! 🚩

          Today 🗓️ the new ✅ COCKgress 🍆👨‍⚖️ is being sworn in

            Pull up‼️ 2️⃣ the Capitol (but not like an insERECTION 🔥🇺🇸) because today 🗓️ the new ✅ COCKgress 🍆👨‍⚖️ is being sworn in 🤭 say goodbye to NERVOUS NANCY 😎❤️ and COCKsy voting 🤧😷🤒 and hello to “my Kevin” (if the FREEDOM 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 COCKUS lets him win 😂😳) on the 69th ballot 👌🏼☠️ CUM watch the freshmen👨🏻‍🍼👶 defend the COCKSDICKTUTION 🙈😈 and faithfully DISCHARGE 💦💦💦 the duties 💩 of their office 😮‍💨🫡 send this to 6️⃣0️⃣ people or else your 🕳️ will be FILLibustered 🤧🤢 send to 2️⃣1️⃣8️⃣ people or else you won’t meat 🍆 qWHOREum 😜 if you get 5️⃣3️⃣5️⃣ back then your ass 🍑🌚 is in the union 🫦 but if you get 0️⃣ back then you’re an UNPAID INTERN 🤮😧😩

            Kwanzaa 👩🏾🎉👴🏿 is here

              Kwanzaa 👩🏾🎉👴🏿 is here ✔️ so light your candles hoes‼️ & get ready to suck 💦 some African dick!!!! 🍌🍆🌽👅 After you eat a feast 🌽🍅🍖🍓 & light 7️⃣ candles 🔥🕎 make sure you eat some pussy 👅💦🐱 & light up that good kush 🍁💨🍃🔥 Don’t forget to find African daddies 🇦🇫 in your area 🌐💯 to spend Kwanzaa with ✊🏾👅💦 so you ain't a lonely thot!!!! 😩😫 Send to 10 African zaddies 💪🏿 or else 😳😦 your ass will get colonized 🇺🇸👮🏻❌ by pasty crackers 👱🏻👴🏻 up in this bitch 😂👌🏾