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Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.

I keep having sex in my lucid dreams

    coomer story lmao
    I keep having sex in my lucid dreams. Like, the moment I figure out I'm conscious and I can do anything, I just conjure up different women I've seen in my life and I have sex with them. When I finish, it feels amazing, it really felt like I came. Infinite cum. I'd fly back to my college, and see my class crush there and fucked the shit out of her. I'd fly to my secondary school and fuck this hot teacher that I keep undressing with my eyes while she taught me. I'd fly everywhere, every crush, every location, and even any girl I see in the streets in that lucid dream I'd fuck her and cum inside her. However, when I wake up, I don't have any stains or whatsoever so It's like I have infinite cum and I don't know if that's good because I wanna do fun stuff like webswinging like spiderman or conjure up a mecha and fight a kaiju but I keep nutting and conjuring hot babes and fucking em straight off the bat. I can't stay away from nutting lucid ectoplasm while conjuring big juicy titties bouncing on my face. The worst part is that I could make it even better for myself. I can make the tiddies bigger, pussy tighter and I can just demand for them to do stuff because it's my dream and so it all just works out for me instinctively but objectively I can't do the things I wanna do as aforementioned because I'm just too busy nutting myself to death everytime I count 6 fingers on each hand.

    Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I was a simp

      tier 3 twitch sub
      Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I was a simp. If I truly believed that I would ever be loved by letting women walk all over me, what incentive would I have to not become a 3rd tier twitch sub to my favorite female streamer in hopes that she would eventually become my big tiddie goth gf? Wouldn’t it be in my best interests as a simp to donate 1000 dollars to my queen so that I might receive feet pics? While I myself am not actually a simp, I see simping as a form of religion where rather than a traditional god or set of gods, your being of worship just so happens to be your favorite e-girl. This is why I find criticism of the simp lifestyle to be disrespectful. In this great country, one is free to practice and worship any religion they choose under the first amendment. Why is it so wrong that instead of donating money to a more traditional church, I choose to offer my money in worship of Pokimane? Criticism of simping is particularly aggravating to witness when it comes from liberals: is it not their dogma that all women should be treated as queens? And yet they criticize those who choose to simp for lacking self respect and chasing delusions of love in their worship of queens. This is classic leftist hypocrisy and it makes me sick.

      I need woman sex

        applications sent
        I need a girlfriend between the age of 15-17, she needs to have either colored hair or their natural hair needs to be darker than brown hair. They need clout and preferably should be really hot, and they need to laugh at every one of my jokes, even the not funny ones. They also need to have a juice ass, she also needs to be stable. Psychically and mentally . She needs to be a rock, she needs to stable enough to punch in the chest and be able to survive and withstand. She needs to be emotionally stabel enough for me to bully her reltenlessly and her be okay. She also needs to be a fan of the following youtubers Captian Sparkles, PewDiePie, MarkiePoo, Minecraft, JackieSepticEye , Jenna Marbles, JeffSwiper, Grandayy, Not Dolan Dark, and Dude Perfect. She needs to be my edgy weeb gf and be able to send me funny memes (but not from trashgram) and have at least 10k Karma, any less will be a disqualification. she also needs to be a fan of the harry Potter films but i haven't read the books so idk about them, she has to be in Griffendor (even though I am hufflepuff) and hate any slitheryn. She must also be less than 5'5 or I will step on her. I need her to hate anime but she needs to be a fan of the game Persona 5 but her only romance options should be Goth Doctor, if she choose Ann she gets a lethal injection

        Who is Belle Delphine? πŸ™„πŸ₯±πŸ€­πŸ€”

          Belle Delphine my queen
          Who is Belle Delphine? πŸ™„πŸ₯±πŸ€­πŸ€”
          
          In math: My Solution 😊🀩
          
          In history: My Queen πŸ˜«πŸ‘‘
          
          In art: My Canvas πŸŽ¨πŸŽ‰
          
          In science: My Oxygen πŸƒπŸ˜€
          
          In geography: My World 🌍🀯
          

          So there’s a chick in my class I like

            You'll face your worst nightmare
            So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our felow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop. "Go ahead" I say. The gun is only 400 years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang-banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I don't smile because I was only doing my duty. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare

            The first time I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes off you

              Pokimane the queen of simps
              The first time I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. In school I was always there for you when assholes you dated treated you with 1% of the respect I have for you in 1% of my heart alone. I always offered to pay for your lunch even when you were dating other guys. When you wanted to go out because an asshole had broke up with you and you needed to take your mind off it and I was busy I made time for you, but I also respected you when you were busy. In tenth grade when I masturbated for the first time I didn't think of pornstars like other guys but I thought of you. At prom you were the only one I wanted to take but you went with a douche who had asked another girl before you. That's the reason I didn't go because I couldn't go with you. I never told you this before but you've gone as far as you need to with all the assholes you date. I'll be the last guy you ever date. Because we will never break up. A brother wouldn't do any of this but that's what you call me?!?!?!?!