Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.

*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga

Every “jaws drop on floor” and “awooga humina humina” copypasta that started as a joke response circa 2020.

Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum*

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth

WHOA MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! BAZOOOOOOIING eyes bulge out of head and shoot forward at 120 mph AROOOOOOOOOOOOGA jaw drops to the floor, tongue rolls out a foot forward HAWT MAMA! punches self in face with boxing glove five times HOOLEY DOOLEY pulls on train whistle that has appeared beside head as steam blows out EEE-AW EEE-AW pulls out comically large carton of milk, drinks all of it spilling it everywhere GUHGUHGUHGUHGUHGUH wolf whistle AROOOOOOOOOOO AROOOOOOOO tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart ARF ARF ARF ARF rubs ass on ground like dog WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF eyes turn into slot machine slots WOWZA! tapdancing sounds, running in a circle JEEPERS HEEPERS pants like dog, rips off pants, heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM slams fists on table rattling any silverware or plates DUUUUUUHHHH bashes own head with hammer 5 times BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK slams chair on table BWOOOAAGHHHH old-timey car horn sound, tongue straightens out like wooden board, eyes go out of skull and back in like paddleballs CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA fireworks shoot from top of head PHWOAARRR sniffs air loudly, nostrils become comically large HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA sound of mouth harp as body is straightened out, floating a foot above the ground JEEZ LOUISE propeller spins on hat comically WOWEEE gets massive erection, tries to aggressively push it back down into pants OINKA OINKA pulls out massive drum, starts beating it excessively HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA jumps on table, smashes through table and ground, springs back upward at an incredible velocity HOOOLY MOOOOLY pupils fly away from eyes, eyes snap forward towards them OOOOOOH I'M DYYYYYYYYYYIIN' fucking dies, ghost goes out of corpse with a lyre, body pulls ghost back into body WHADDA DAAAAME starts foaming at the mouth HUUUUUUUURRRRRR furiously turns crank on machine that hits hands on table GRRRR BARK BARK BARK head unscrews and starts rotating BUH-DOOIIOIOIOING starts rattling like a jar of coins, suspended half a metre in the air DING DING DING DING DING DING starts bouncing up and down at a high speed, starts boiling like tea kettle and turning red HAAAHEEEEEE

Wheeeee! Oinka oinka! Haaaaaaheeee! A- whooooga A-whoooooga! Aaaaaargh! Hneeeeeeeee! Fnrgh! Grunt grunt! Hinggggg! Whazzo!

Boink

Emoji version

(Jaw drops 😲 to the floor 😱. Eyes pop out 😵. Sound effect 📣 of, "🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨!!!!" Places eyes 😶 and jaw 👅 back in place 🤤. Regains 😤 composure 😌.) ... Eh hem 🕵️, you three 💁💁💁 look quite lovely 😍.

HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!

AUUUUGAA! HONKA HONKA! Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out accompanied by trumpets AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops, tongue rolls out, WOOF WOOF WOOF, heart beats out of chest, AWOOGA AWOOGA sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair, I take out a boxing glove and hit myself with it 17 times. Turns to the audience and say in 1930’s New York accent “HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!”

Ahem, you look very lovely

*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

I wish clown girls were real

I wish clown girls were an actual race of people. Their entire skin is white. The clown nose is natural. Their nipples and pussy lips, aka Clussy, have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips. Their skin probably tastes funny Imagine the taste of their breast milk. Grabbing their breasts or ass causes a honk noise. Want to playfully grope Clown wifes butt in public, loud ass honk is heard echoing from her. Everyone turns to you too, knowing full well what is going on. She embarrassingly honks her nose, trying to play it off.

I WISH CLOWN GIRLS WERE A REAL HUMAN RACE, THEIR WHOLE SKIN IS WHITE, THEIR CLOWN NOSES ARE NATURAL, THEIR NIPPLES AND VAGINAL LIPS (ALSO KNOWN AS CLUSSY) HAVE ALTERNATING AND SATURATED COLORS... THEIR SKIN PROBABLY TASTES FUNNY, IMAGINE THE TASTE OF THEIR BREAST MILK! SQUEEZING THEIR TITS OR ASS MAKES A CLOWN HORN SOUND, YOU SQUEEZE YOUR WIFE'S FAT WHITE BUTT IN PUBLIC AND A LOUD CLOWN HORN SOUND ERUPTS FROM HER BEHIND, EVERYONE LOOKS AT YOU, KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT HAS JUST TRANSPIRED, AND SHE TENACIOUSLY SQUEEZES YOUR NOSE BACK, TRYING TO COVER UP HER EMBARRASSEMENT.

i wish clown girls were a real breed of humans, their entire skin is white, the red nose is natural, the nipples and vaginal lips (also known as clownssy) have alternate colors, their skin probably have a fun taste , imagine the taste of the breast milk, squeezing their breasts and ass make a horn sound. you squeeze your clown-wife's butt in public and a loud horn sounds by her, then everyone looks at you knowing exactly what you've done, and then she stimidly squeeze your nose to get it out

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate you

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate you. Every day I would wake you up by cumming in you and every night I would cum in you right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside you. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that you'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into you like an animal and slather you in kisses. Part of our wedding vows would be to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if you are already pregnant, I'll fuck you while you're pregnant and you'll get double pregnant. I'll fill you with so much cum every day that you'll look pregnant even when you aren't (which you'll never be after we're married) I would do everything in my power to make you as fertile as possible. I'd give you fertility drugs, I'd give you uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let you go 5 hours without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake you home made lactation inducing biscuits to help you get to a point of hyperlactation syndrome so that you'll be seeping out multiple quarts of milk per day. Which I will save and drink just so that I can tell you how delicious it is. I'll make you so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number you'll be carrying at any given time. I would literally never stop doting on you, I would respond to you every beck and call and I would cum inside you again each time you ask for something. You would be so pregnant all the time that you would literally not be able to stand up straight. Your spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate a pregnant belly. Even after you can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting more eggs into you. I would clone you purely so that I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside you after you run out of them. You would have so much progesterone running through your veins at any given time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to you.

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Seia

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Seia. Every day I would wake her up by coming in her and every night I would cum in her right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside her. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that she'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into her like an animal and slather her in kisses. Part of our wedding vows would be to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if she's already pregnant, I'll fuck her while she's pregnant and she'll get double pregnant. I'll fill her with so much cum every day that she'll look pregnant even when she isn't (which she'll never be after we're married) I would do everything in my power to make Seia as fertile as possible. I'd give her fertility drugs, I'd give her uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let her go an hour without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake her home made lactation inducing biscuits so that she'll be seeping out multiple quarts of milk per day. Which I will save and drink just so that I can tell her how delicious it is. I'll make her so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number she's carrying at any given time. I would literally never stop doting on her, I would respond to her every beck and call and I would cum inside her again each time she asks for something. She would be so pregnant all the time that she would literally not be able to stand up straight anymore even after menopause. Her spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate a pregnant belly. Even after she can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting eggs into her. I would clone her purely so that I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside her after she runs out of them. She would have so much progesterone running through her veins at any given time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to her.

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Peni.

I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Peni. Every day I would wake up by cumming in her and every night I would cum in her right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside her tight pussy. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that she'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into her like an animal and slather her in kisses. Part of our wedding vows is to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if she's already pregnant, I'll fuck her while she's pregnant and she will get double pregnant. I'll fill her with so much cum everyday that she will look pregnant even when she isn't, which she'll never be after we're married.

I would do everything in my power to make Peni look as fertile as possible: I'd give her fertility drugs, I'd ger her uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let her go twelve hours without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake her homemade lactation-inducing biscuits to help her get a point of hyper lactation syndrome so that she'll be seeping out multiple quarts of sweet cream per day, which I will save and drink just so I can tell her how delicious it is. I'll make her so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number she's carrying at any time. Her natural belly shape will be a fucking sphere. I would literally never stop doting on her. I would respond to her every beck and call and I would cum inside her again each time she asks for something.

She would be so pregnant all the time she would literally not be able to stand up straight anymore even after menopause. Her spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate her pregnant belly. Even after when she can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting more eggs into her. I would clone her purely so I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside her after she runs out of them. If she doesn't have any eggs I would synthesize them from her DNA. She would have so much progesterone running through her veins at any time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to her.

Imagine marrying Peni and she tells you she wants a kid and that she'll be fine and she'll keep her superhero duties up while pregnant. When she finally gets two lines on her pregnancy test she'll jump and full-body hug you, crying about how happy she is after trying so hard. Everything is going great for a few months, Peni is glowing and her hero activities are working out and her belly is quite small on her toned body. Now imagine in a few months Peni has to stop her hero activities because her feet hurt and her legs aren't used to holding up her new weight. Her belly extends almost a full foot in front of her and she's gained nearly 15 kilos. Imagine the look on Peni's face when her doctor tells her she would have to take a break on her spidergirl activities for a while because she is carrying triplets and the excessive movement is doing more harm than good. Imagine Peni reluctantly smiling at you and promising to stop doing her vigilantism for the sake of preparing to take care of three kids at once. Imagine as the weeks go by and her womb fills up more and as her appetite and weight increase with it. Imagine finding your 7-month-old-pregnant wife Peni raiding the fridge in the dark at 4:00 AM with a guilty look in her face when you find her, like a puppy that gnawed holes into your pillow.

Go ahead, call me lonely, a simp

Go ahead, call me lonely, a simp, or horny. These are MY FUCKING FEELINGS. I want to have the roughest and hottest sex with Belle Delphine. Seriously. Her cute accent, her lovely face, and her supple body drive me to horny madness. Every inch of her would be massaged and licked. When I want to finish and climax with all of my love, I would do it on her stomach, face, tits, and roll her over on her ass to blow the last of my load on those supple cheeks. I want to cuddle with her when I am done busting, and ask her how her day was, feeling each other's warmth on our naked, vulnerable bodies. She'd tell me how good it was and she'd confide her truest feelings to me, telling me how much she loves me. I would tell her I love her back, and she would give me a loving peck on my cheeks. Then we would get dressed and spend the day watching the Sopranos, still cuddling and even eating our favorite foods. I want Belle to be my girlfriend, my lover, my wife, and my life. I love her and want her to be mine. Is this a copy-pasta? No. I typed out every word to proclaim how I feel. Every time you ask who she is, look back on this: SHE IS MY WIFE. I love Belle Delphine, and these are MY original thoughts and feelings.

Go ahead, call me a simp, or horny. These are MY F*CKING FEELINGS. I want to be dominated by Mei Mei. Seriously. Her cute voice, her lovely face, and her adorable haircut drive me to love-fueled madness. Every inch of her should be worshipped like the god she is. When I want to stop I'd beg for more from my queen. I want to be her Organ Donor, and ask her how her day was, feeling my warm breath on her cold truest feelings to me, telling me how much she needs me. I would tell her I love her, and she would give me a dominant slap on my cheek. Then I would become her bitch and spend the day being dominated and even tortured by her. I want Mei Mei to be my master, my god, my one and only lord, and my life. I love her and want to be hers. Is this a copypasta? No. I typed it out every word to proclaim how I feel. Every time you ask who she is, look back on this- SHE IS MY GOD. I love Mei Mei, and these are MY original thoughts and feelings.

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Go ahead, call me lonely, a simp, or horny. These are MY FUCKING FEELINGS. I want to have the roughest and hottest sex with <PERSON>. Seriously. Her cute accent, her lovely face, and her supple body drive me to horny madness. Every inch of her would be massaged and licked. When I want to finish and climax with all of my love, I would do it on her stomach, face, tits, and roll her over on her ass to blow the last of my load on those supple cheeks. I want to cuddle with her when I am done busting, and ask her how her day was, feeling each other's warmth on our naked, vulnerable bodies. She'd tell me how good it was and she'd confide her truest feelings to me, telling me how much she loves me. I would tell her I love her back, and she would give me a loving peck on my cheeks. Then we would get dressed and spend the day watching the Sopranos, still cuddling and even eating our favorite foods. I want <PERSON> to be my girlfriend, my lover, my wife, and my life. I love her and want her to be mine. Is this a copy-pasta? No. I typed out every word to proclaim how I feel. Every time you ask who she is, look back on this: SHE IS MY WIFE. I love <PERSON>, and these are MY original thoughts and feelings.

Go ahead, call me a simp, or horny. These are MY F*CKING FEELINGS. I want to be dominated by <PERSON>. Seriously. Her cute voice, her lovely face, and her adorable haircut drive me to love-fueled madness. Every inch of her should be worshipped like the god she is. When I want to stop I'd beg for more from my queen. I want to be her Organ Donor, and ask her how her day was, feeling my warm breath on her cold truest feelings to me, telling me how much she needs me. I would tell her I love her, and she would give me a dominant slap on my cheek. Then I would become her bitch and spend the day being dominated and even tortured by her. I want <PERSON> to be my master, my god, my one and only lord, and my life. I love her and want to be hers. Is this a copypasta? No. I typed it out every word to proclaim how I feel. Every time you ask who she is, look back on this- SHE IS MY GOD. I love <PERSON>, and these are MY original thoughts and feelings.

Well, I know this is kinda weird and pushy haha, but would you like to have sex with me?

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…
byu/MelanieWalmartinez inshitposting

Well, I know this is kinda weird and pushy haha, but would you like to have sex with me? I'm not a creep or a pervert, just a genuine guy. I would treat you with respect and the sex would be good. I can even make you squirt if the connection is right haha. I will not judge you or think you're "easy". So yeah, excuse me if i come across as a little uncalibrated but I think you're attractive, so what do you think? :) haha

She took the midnight train going anywhere.

Damn lil mama! Haha I would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to get a sniff lmfao!

Damn lil mama! Haha I would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to get a sniff lmfao!... I'm jk heh 😣 unless you don't mind then I'm fs down girl Hahaha jk jk. HOT DAMN you are so beautiful 🤤. I know we have been friends for years but I've been waiting till you were single to say something to you gourges 😍 let's say... I take you out sometime? Movie? Dinner? It's on me! Or maybe just maybe let's say we skip all those steps and head straight back to my place and go all the way to 2nd base.... HA just kidding I joke I joke, don't take me so seriously, I just don't know how to compose myself when I see your beauty and that beautiful body of yours OwO. Please respond when you can I would love to hear from a perfect angel as yourself ❤️