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Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.


So there’s a chick in my class I like

    You'll face your worst nightmare
    So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our felow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop. "Go ahead" I say. The gun is only 400 years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang-banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I don't smile because I was only doing my duty. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare

    The first time I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes off you

      Pokimane the queen of simps
      The first time I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. In school I was always there for you when assholes you dated treated you with 1% of the respect I have for you in 1% of my heart alone. I always offered to pay for your lunch even when you were dating other guys. When you wanted to go out because an asshole had broke up with you and you needed to take your mind off it and I was busy I made time for you, but I also respected you when you were busy. In tenth grade when I masturbated for the first time I didn't think of pornstars like other guys but I thought of you. At prom you were the only one I wanted to take but you went with a douche who had asked another girl before you. That's the reason I didn't go because I couldn't go with you. I never told you this before but you've gone as far as you need to with all the assholes you date. I'll be the last guy you ever date. Because we will never break up. A brother wouldn't do any of this but that's what you call me?!?!?!?!

      Oh so I’m a simp?

        Super Incredible Man = SIMP
        Oh so I’m a simp?
        
        - Complimenting woman on Twitter makes me a simp?
        - Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp?
        - Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp?
        
        You’re right. It does make me a simp. 
        
        (S)uper
        (I)ncredible 
        (M)an

        3d porn video review

          Lara Croft makes pp hard
          first of all, too bad for the censorship, of course. second, would've loved to see the guy with even a slightly bigger cock and more realistic bigger balls.third, there is no change in the girl's moaning, from one position to the next, except for the cum scene. fourth, and this one is a positive, great rendering of the girl's body reaction. and fifth, last point... i think the last scene should be her facing him again, just as in the beginning, but now she is visibly pregnant...

          ok simp 😎

            you're a simp
            Oh, so you support your girlfriend?
            
            You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO 🐒 <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.

            Looking for a female roomate

              Only female roommates
              Only female roommates
              Looking for a female roomate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money, but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reasons rather not say on here. I will expect hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement, you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they may visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Physical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 Ibs, caucasian or asian only, republican, biologically female, no tattoos, no Muslims, no vegans, no smoking/ vaping, marywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 Ibs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. everyone