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Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.

Boobs in bras are sometimes hotter than bare boobs

    Sometimes when I’m watching porn, or even in real life. When I see a female in her bra and panties;it’s extremely attractive. But then I don’t know if I just hype up their boobs to how I have been imagining them to look only to be disappointed when they reveal that they aren’t (my version of a perfect boob) but that’s subjective cause everyone has their own idea of what the perfect tit looks like. But sometimes it’s like the mystery is even hotter cause I don’t really get to know and that way I can picture them to be however I want.

    Killjoy R34

      Good fucking God. She is so fucking hot and beautiful. Look at her massive tits just waiting to fucking burst out and expose her sensitive little nipples ready to be licked. Her face is so beautiful her eyes are telling me that she wants my cock and her mouth is so ready to have my cock inside of it imagine making her fucking gag and choke with my massive American cock. Imagine how silky and smooth her perfect Germanic hair is. Her tits also look super soft. My eyes gaze upon them and slowly descend, glancing at her perfectly toned stomach, the definition being clear as day. The transition from toned, slim waist to her fulsome hips, amazing ass and then to her thick thighs. My cock is fucking throbbing right now. I would rip that black lace off and fucking ravage her; make her my personal hessian plaything, although she is of perfect Germanic phenotype, and I wouldn’t want to mess with perfection, haha! I would fucking cum in her so much my balls would be shriveled up like a Capri-Sun packet in the hands of a thirsty, lower class drug addict who craves saccharinity almost as much as they crave heroin and marijuana. Her ass and cunt would be red and sore from me fucking her so much and from her cumming and squirting. I’m actually going to have to leave my desk at work and go to the bathroom to relieve myself after having seen this image, for I fear that if I do not my performance will suffer due to me constantly thinking about this (and I do not want that given how I care about my career). She is just so fucking beautiful. There’s a puddle of pre-cum in my expensive underwear right now for this perfectly little busty hessian doll. Fuck.

      Simp on Discord got called out

        Least horny Discord simp
        nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting 💦 for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either

        Girlfriend applications here!

          Now taking applications for a gf. You must be:
          
          1. Female
          
          2. Age 16-23
          
          3. Japanese (exceptions will be made for white girls if small and skinny)
          
          4. Willing to do as I ask
          
          5. Have an IQ lower than mine (164)
          
          6. Have 0 male friends
          
          7. Cook 3 meals for me a day
          
          8. Be willing to split the bill on a date
          
          9. Be into kinky stuff (will discuss in PM)
          
          10. Send nudes every day I do not see you nude in person
          
          11. Have sex with me as I ask
          
          12. Be on birth control (condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can’t find anything that fits)
          
          13. Ideally not have a job
          
          14. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points
          
          I am a kind gentlemen who will protect you at all times and in return all i ask is you pledge yourself to me. Please message me if you feel you fit this quota.

          Turned on by female Gta

            the first time i played gta online and saw that majestic ass. that amazing walking style. i immediately put off my clothes and started to heavily masturbate to her while i i followed her in first person to see her. when i finished in 20 seconds i went to rule34.xxx and looked up gta_online while masturbating again. it was beautiful. i stayed all night finding, screenshotting and masturbating to female gta online characters and did that for 2 days and after getting my 1 hour sleep. i dont get attracted to real women anymore. they are ugly, irreplaceable and worthless unless they look exactly like a female gta online character. all i care about is gta online female characters. my parents want to send me to therapy because i masturbated to screenshots of gta online female characters while eating dinner with them but i refuse. i have found my meaning in life and they cannot stop me