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Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.


I’m sick of being called a simp

    I'm sick of being called a simp.
    
    Just because I compliment a girl on her looks, personality, or interests, does not make me a simp. Maybe I'm genuinely trying to make her feel good or to lighten up her day after a long day. I don't want everyone calling me something that is inherently "bad" just for being nice to a girl. Especially, giving a girl a gift for, say, her birthday, is not the same as mentioned below. Birthday gifts are normal and are just a respectful and kind gesture. The irony is that when boys DON'T do that, they are ALSO shamed.
    
    A real simp is someone who obsesses over a particular person with money, gifts, etc, expecting to receive a sexual or romantic return.
    
    The majority of so-called "simps" do NOT do this.
    
    So please, stop throwing the word simp around like its a baseball.

    worker bees are the ultimate simp

      worker bees are the ultimate simp they spend their whole life donating pollen for the queen bee that probably doesn't even acknowledge their existence(she's literally their queen) and ensure their queen's children and larvae remain safe at all times. all while having 0 chance as they are literally being unable to reproduce these people donating $100 a month to pokimane are nothing compared to the omegasimp known as the worker bee

      I want to bang the terraria zoologist

        Terraria zoologist copypasta
        Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the terraria zoologist so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time a blood moon occurs I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Astria. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Astria's tight fox pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/fox babies.
        
        Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a fox in the backyard. I dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my computer. I might not ever get to see Astria again.

        It is physically impossible to simp for pokimane

          Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy. A man is only a simp if the girl he is after has a mediocre pussy, but pokimane’s pussy is a goddess pussy, at worst. I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck to pokimane because I know that it’s not simping. Poki if you see this I love you please text me back.

          My girlfriend just got this dm on discord.

            May i, (insert name here) a woman respecting and feminist- supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and 1, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.

            Goodbye, poki…

              I'm cancelling my tier 3 sub. 3 years, pokimane. 3 years I donated to you, moderated your chat and kept the scum at bay. 3 years of asking you how your day is, defending your honour in chat and even on twitter. 3 years... wasted.
              
              I hope you read this, pokimane. I'm throwing away my copy of just dance I bought just to play with you in online coop. What use do I have for this? For one, I have no one to play it with (THANKS A LOT) and secondly, I don't feel like dancing right now, ever.
              
              You danced right out of my life... and my heart.
              
              I've just followed kittyplays, so long, pokimane. Hope it was worth it.