Skip to content

Buddy, you’re not funny

    Buddy, did you really just say “poop” in the middle of your discord call to get all of your fucking fat ass call me carson watching, gay ass friends to start laughing? You think that’s funny? You’re a fucking disgrace to society, you fat fuck. You think you’re fucking funny by saying either “poop, cock, or balls” and somehow manages to get laughs from your -12 IQ group of troglodytes. I wish you would fucking stop. Its not funny, you make 0 effort to produce any form of real comedy, and why I, an intellectual, am unable to find that funny. You are so unfunny that you have to resort to saying “cum” because your pea sized brain cant find anything else, you have to make these cringey ass jokes and this is why you have no friends at school. You are unpopular, cringey, and a fucking gamer. Get the fuck out of my igloo, you fucking non-membership penguin.

    Kronk rates your chungus

      Okay let’s see what we’re working with

Whoa

Nice chungus

Big, but not too normie

Breathtaking length

A 69 (nice)° angle

Eh, could trim the hairs a bit but we’ll work on it

Yep... I’d say that’s a pretty big chungus

I rate it... wholesome 85/100

Good job, kind redditor

      My girlfriend just got this dm on discord.

        May i, (insert name here) a woman respecting and feminist- supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and 1, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.

        Goodbye, poki…

          I'm cancelling my tier 3 sub. 3 years, pokimane. 3 years I donated to you, moderated your chat and kept the scum at bay. 3 years of asking you how your day is, defending your honour in chat and even on twitter. 3 years... wasted.

I hope you read this, pokimane. I'm throwing away my copy of just dance I bought just to play with you in online coop. What use do I have for this? For one, I have no one to play it with (THANKS A LOT) and secondly, I don't feel like dancing right now, ever.

You danced right out of my life... and my heart.

I've just followed kittyplays, so long, pokimane. Hope it was worth it.

          The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis

            You're so done. The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis in the locker rooms. You turn to them, eyes narrowing. They see the hurt and angry look in your eyes and start to tease you, asking if you're going to cry. You suddenly remember a gift that God gave you for these situations. You puff your chest up and fire a laser from one of your erect nipples. It hits one of them in the eye, going through their head. Brain matter explodes everywhere. The others look horrified as you start shooting more nipple lasers in their direction. You hit more vital spots. Blood, cum, and guts are all over the locker room now. You stop and look around.

You've done it.

They're dead.

You're still not happy.

You unzip your pants and get some fun in while their bodies are still warm. How do they like your one inch penis now?

            my son is a terrorist

              TL;DR my son is a Terrorist!

I walked in on my son playing a video g* me, I was furious! He explained to me that he has to play this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive to kill Terrorists and prevent a Bomb from detonating! I was so proud of my patriotic and truly american son for killing these Terrorists that I forgave him for playing a video g* me!

Nevertheless I was suspicious, it is a video g* me! I spied on him for about 30 minutes and then I saw it, I SAW IT!!! HE WAS PLAYING AS A TERRORIST, MY SON LIED TO ME. HE TRIED TO HIDE THAT HE LIKES KILLING PEOPLE AND THAT HE LIKES BLOWING EVERYTHING UP!!! He thought that he could trick me, but I know the truth about my son and g* mers:

THEY ARE TERRORISTS and this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive is nothing but a hub to spread their believs and evil plans!

Ban video games now! Save your children from this evil g* me!