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Device is proof to me that God doesn’t exist.

    dev1ce or also device

    Device is a professional CS2 player for Astralis and had many copypasta created about him during Astralis dominant CSGO era.

    Device is proof to me that God doesn't exist. How can someone be so good with everything? IGLing, Pistols, fucking your favorite team, rifles, punching monitors, awping etc. Its just not fair, how can anyone believe in God when Device exists? To top if off he looks like Tom Cruise, is rich as fuck and could have been a badminton pro if he wanted. But he just had to go into cs2, dick on everyone and ruin everyones faith in God. Thank you device. 

    CSGO version

    Device is proof to me that God doesn't exist. How can someone be so good with everything? Pistols, fucking your favorite team, rifles, punching monitors, awping etc. Its just not fair, how can anyone believe in God when Device exists? To top if off he looks like Tom Cruise, is rich as fuck and could have been a badminton pro if he wanted. But he just had to go into csgo, dick on everyone and ruin everyones faith in God. Thank you device.

    where were u wen astralis era return

    apolgy for bad english
    
    where were u wen astralis era return
    
    i was at house eating dorito when phone ring
    
    "astralis era return"
    
    "no"

    I honestly believe this movie deserves ZERO STARS – Leave the World Behind

      However I must say, I honestly believe this movie deserves ZERO STARS. Julia Robert's was the only believable character in this movie. That being said: Horrible movie. If I could leave zero stars I would. I would say the Obama’s should stick to politics but unfortunately I can’t say that either. Regardless, this review sums it up very well: Zero stars needs to be an option. One reviewer posted an excellent review of this movie, so I had to copy and paste. "If you care about using your time wisely, then avoid this film like the plague. But if you like watching terribly written media, then by all means grab a snack and relax. Because this film is the embodiment of utter garbage. The first, and to me, the greatest red flag is seeing the Obamas as executive producers. The movie just changed far too many times, giving you more questions than answers. Family on the beach, a supposed home invasion, planes crashing, a brat obsessed with Friends, hackers start the end of the world, animals migrate for no apparent reason, son is poisoned by radiation yet no one else is and not to mention the blatant racial themes etc. Just a heaping mess of a pile. None of the characters are developed and slowly turn against each other. Situations like these would bring you together, not force you apart. You’d come to hate a few others, such as the daughter who treats Friends like a god and the other daughter, Ruth, who not only has a spoiled attitude but she assumes things on everyone and also believes you should never trust white people. I wish I were joking. And I quote: "I'm asking for you to remember that if the world falls apart, trust should not be doled out easily to anyone, especially white people." This had no relevance to the film at all! If this statement was flipped around, watch how things would go. I guess her name “Ruth” is short for ruthless. Because she did not act nice to anyone, not even her own father at times. If they removed her from the script, it would have made this film somewhat better. But not enough to save it. But the fact this made it through production baffles me. Then again, remind yourself of who the executive producers were. As for the “terrorist” act itself, it just isn’t clear which nation is the main driving force of it all. First some Arabic country to then either Korea or China. No idea because this is never answered. Nor were a lot of things. Where was the military? The actual forces of the nation. Apparently they do not exist, so everyone has to fend for themselves. Granted we do live in a technological world, but planes wouldn’t be crashing nor boats intentionally grounding themselves if everything was hacked. Analog exists. Pilots can still operate a plane without working apparatus etc. I’d go on but other reviews capture the level of frustration this “movie” brings the table. It’s bad. At least the daughter got to watch the last episode of Friends, after running off with neither brains nor brawn. Ate a large supply of food and somehow, found a VHS tape that oh so conveniently had Friends. Leaving her family to die. I wonder what she’ll think after the episode is over. Probably happiness, not a care for her family, as a show takes more priority than the end of the world." If I could give this movie a rating less than one star I would. A bunch of clowns.

      I have a 3.9 in my MBA program, I can probably run circles

        I have a 3.9 in my MBA program, I can probably run circles around you in any conversation, I served 10 years in the Army and I have a job making over $150K a year. Remind me again why the internet provided you such big balls to talk shit to someone you don't know over a product you wanna defend for having less value than a play booster. You big mouth losers need to get the hell out here. More shills for a corporation than I ever met in my life. This sub is a joke. 
        I 🕴️ have a 3.9 in my MBA 💼💰 program, I can probably run 🏃 circles 🔴 around you in any conversation 💬, I served 💁‍♂️ 10 years 🗓️ in the Army 🫡 🔫 and I have a job 👷 making over $150K 💸 a year 📅. Remind me 🧠 again why the internet 🌐 provided you 🤡 such big balls ⚽ 🏀 to talk shit 💩 to someone you don't know 😎 over a product 📦 you wanna defend 🛡️ for having less value 💰💸 than a play 🤾 booster 🃏. You big mouth 😮 losers need to get the hell 👿 🔥 out here. More shills 🧑‍💼 for a corporation 🏦 than I ever met in my life 📅. This sub 🥪 is a joke. 🤡 

        MTG version

        I have a 3.9 in my MTG program, I can probably run circles around you in any format, I served 10 years in Tiny Leaders and my wife's boyfriend has a job making over $150K a year. Remind me again why Maro provided you such Nicol Bolas to talk EDH to someone you don't know over a product you wanna defend for having less value than my binder of Storm Crows. You big mouth (I see your teeth) losers need to get the hell out here. More shills for Daddy Hasbro than I ever met in my life. This sub is a jerk. 

        Mostima

          Every single day i fantasize about Mostima using her divine blue tongue licking me thoroughly without leaving a single nano centimeter unlicked in my body... every single i day i fantasize about eating and swallowing that tongue intimately with my beloved wife Mostima, as we both lick each other's tongue and stretch every second into an eternity itself and continue that process for that eternity of eternites, i want to kiss her so deeply that even Gojo's Imaginary Technique: Purple Wouldn't compare to the depth of my kiss. I want her to kiss my mouth with a force of absolute brutality, thusly pushing me towards the ends of the multiverse itself and beyond.
          
          I mean, you guys don't GET IT AT ALLLLLLLL
          
          my love for this woman precedes the beginning of oblivion and nothingness themselves, before even before of all creation.
          
          I want her to whisper in my ears: "you white ngga, i am yours ~" everyday, every minute and push me to the wall and put her feet between my legs and bite my chest as i grab her and hug her so deeply that we would merge into one entity.
          
          I would lick her feet thoroughly everyday, and bark "yes, my queen" as 'humiliate' myself as the Supreme Harbinger of Finality and Judgement's Executor... But here's the neat part....
          
          That isn't humiliation... That is absolute transcendence above all lifeforms. I want her to eat me inside out and i want to eat her and lick her centimeter to centimeter... And again... Stretch every second into an eternity itself.
          
          And I'd want us both to hug in bed in winter listening to classical jazz/russian music as we watch TV and sit in the most questionable positions known to man and as i sleep on her naked warm boobs and her play with my hair and tell me I've been a bad boy recently to CORRECT me.
          
          I'd put her moan as my ringtone and keep my ringtone at 20000% of its max volume even in public to remind myself of such a blessing in my life of an absolute perfection. And I'd do anything even absorb all of humanity's pain and live with the entire cosmos explosions and black holes inside me for eternity to see her become real and marry me forever. I mean you guys ABSOLUTELY DON'T GET MY LOVE FOR HER NEITHER GET HOW PERFECT SHE IS!!! she's absolutely perfect, beyond the language potency of our world and comprehension. Even perfection is an insult to her supremacy. Nooooo, you guys don't understand even with that explanation.
          
          And i absolutely love that she's on my mind every second 24/7 and lives as the fundamental presupposition of my existence.
          
          Truly beyond all. My beloved Mostima.
          
          Actually.... Imma remove the chains put against me...
          
          I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF ANYMORE!
          
          MOSTIMA, HERE I CUM (and come)! WOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARK
          
          WOOOF WOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF WOOF WOOF WOOOF WOOOOF WOOOF WOOOOOFFFFFFFF ARRRRRRFFFFFFFFFF GRRRRRRRRRRR GRTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARKKKKKKKKKKK
          
          WWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF WOOOOF WOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARK
          
          🖤💍🖤💍💍💍🖤💍🖤💍🖤💍🖤💍💍🖤💍💍💍🖤💍🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💍💍💍💍💍🖤
          
          MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME
          
          MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY MEMARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME
          
          PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
          
          GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
          
          WOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARK WOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARKWOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARKWOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARKWOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARK WOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARKWOOF WOOF GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRRR GRRRRRR RUFF RUFF BARK BARK
          
          AHHHHHHHHH BE MY WIFE BE MY WIFE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

          Go on r/playboicarti. That’s where the degenerate braindeads go.

            Go on r/playboicarti. That's where the degenerate braindeads go. This is literally the only community on Reddit where we can have serious debates and discussions about him and music in general. Don't ruin this for us. You already have a whole subreddit dedicated to idiots like you, go and mingle with them. Don't tarnish the only mature community that we have on the entire platform.
            
            Mods please ban this fella.

            Solar Eclipse

              📱 📞Calling 📱 📲all 💯🌥✨sky-thots 💁💦 and astronymphies♈️😩: it's the eclipse! 🌒🌑🌕Shake 👠your 💃🏻 e-hips 💃🏻 for 👨‍👧Daddy 🌚Moon 💯bc he's 🔜getting🔛🔝 of 🌝Mr. Sun 🌝and he wants 💁you 💁to 👀 watch ⌚️. Don't ❌🚫 look 👀away‼️‼️➡️➡️, it's been 7️⃣ years for 🌚 Daddy Moon 🌚😩and 😩he's💦 not 👏🏻 going 💦to 👏🏻 last 💦 long 👏🏻. Look 🆙 and go➡️down ⬇️ for 🌜kinky🌛👨🏻‍✈️Daddy 🌚Moon 🌚 and 👀watch 👀him totally 💯cover💦😩 🌞Mr. Sun 🌞💦 😩💦 
              📞Listen👏🏻 🆙👆🏻 you 💫cosmic♋️, crescent🌙 CUNTS💁 and 👙slutty, 🤑SKANKY 🪩🌟STARGLAZERS:✨ today📅 is the 💯Great 💘NorTHROBBING😩 AmeriCUM💧 SOL🅰️R🌞🌛ECLIPSE‼️‼️ That’s right🚨, 🌚DADDY MOON🌚 is 🙇‍♂️RUBBING🦵🏻🫦 his 👣voluptuous🎂🎂 ASS 👉🏻RIGHT UP🧎 against his 🌝STEP SUN🌝👨‍👦, and he 🌚wants you💋 to 👀WATCH‼️ The path👨‍🦯 of the 🌓eclipse🌛 is ♨️LONG🪈🔥 and ❤️‍🔥HARD😱, and 🎅🏻Daddy Moon🌒 is DRAGGING his 🖤shadowy🖤 COCK🍆🐉 across🌔 the faces🤤☄️ of many cities🌃… from 😉DuranGOO🥛, Mexico🇲🇽, to 😏Fort GIRTH🌭, Texas🇺🇸… from 😳CLEVAGE🍒, Ohio, to 🥵BUTTSWALLOW🍑👅, New York… from 🤫VIAGARA Falls💉🌊 to 🥴BONERvista🪄, Canada🇨🇦, and 🫡beyond❗️ Butt🍩 with eclipse 🕶️😼glASSES🍅👓 the 🥥HOLE🕳️ CUNTinent🌎🙆‍♂️ gets to🌚 be 🙊🛐MOONED‼️❗️ As the 🌅Sun gets 🌤️🎣COCKBLOCKED🌥️ these 🌕🌕FULL MOONS😍👅 are 🌎🌋CUMMIN OUT💕💦💥❕Be sure🌘 to 🔭LOOK 🆙⏫ as you 🦃GOBBLE 🧠DOWN🙇🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ on 🌌CELESTIAL💄 CUNT🍽️🍪‼️ Open🫶 your 🕳️CRATERS🕳️ wide for 2️⃣ FAT💗 ROCKETS’🚀 🌛MOON PIES💦🥮🫃❗️❗️ Lick😝 those 🌬️☔️DRIBBLING 🌡️😉e-TIPS🍡 clean🕺🏻 because it’s 🌘been 7️⃣ years🎑 for 😈D🅰️DDY MOON🌖 so he’s not👎🏻 gonna last long…😰🍆💦 ⌛️QUICKIES🤠💨 ONLY‼️❕ Send📬 this to 7️⃣ of your👏🏻 most 🌙lunar, 👉🏻👌🏻lewd🤭, and 😘lascivious 😼LUSTBAGS🤤🍆🍌🥵❕‼️ Get all 7️⃣🔙 or 🌚Daddy Moon👺 won’t ♾️EVER⛔️ 🫣ECLIPSE🙈 your 🚰CRATERS ⏰🤯 AGAIN❕❗️ 
              ‼️🔆ATTENTION 💯 ALL 💯😍 SKY SLUTS ❗️❗️🔆 You 💯 know 🤔💭 what day 🌝🕑 it 🍆 is! It’s 🌚🌝🌞🌟SEXY SOLAR ECLIPSE DAY! 🌟🥳🥳🏖 Its 🔥 been 7️⃣ ❗✨ LONG HARD 💦years 🕛📅 since the 🌞🌞Sun and 🌚🌚Moon 🤪linked 🤪it 🤪up to 💦 lock 🔒 it 🍝💯 in, so get your beach chair 🪑and your 🩻🕶️ISO 12312-2 rated glasses 🕶 and get 👽👉 ready 👀 to ✌♂ watch ♀👀 the 🌙MOON🌙 on TOP 💫of the 😜 SUN 😩 in 🙌💦 a 💦💫Stellar Sexy 💫🔞 Show! 👀🎥 At ⏰⏰2:06 👁️EST ⌚ the 💞🌛MOON🌜will 😛 start sliding 🐍 her 🍆👸 LUNAR LABIA over 🔝 the ⌛🔑 SUN’S 😩 HOT 🔥 SOLAR RAYS🌞. At ⏰⏰3:19 the 💰 SUN ☀ will 🤔🤤 EXPLODE 💥💥 in 👏 an 😮 Epic 💯 CLiMAX, 🤤 💦💦COVERING the 🌑🌑moon 🌛🌜 completely!! Send this 💯👉 to 5 🍆 of 😢 your best👩‍🚀🧑‍🚀👨‍🚀HORNY 💕 ASTROTHOTS or you get 😛🌾 stuck😩😩 at 99% totality😭😭!! 
              🗣️CALLING🗣️ ALL ‼️SOLAR SLUTS‼️ It’s HOLE-LAR ECLIPSE DAY😫😍🍆💦‼️ 🔜 DADDY MOON🌚 is getting🔛🔝 of MR. SUN 🌞 & he wants YOU😳 to WATCH⌚️‼️ …but better RUSH⚡️on over🏃‍♀️💨 … it’s been 7️⃣ YEARS 📆 for DADDY MOON🌚 and he WONT🙅‍♂️ last long🍆😜‼️ So let’s GET DOWNN😜⏬️ to the path of HOE-tality🍑 & watch DADDY MOON🌚 totally COVER💦💦💦 Mr. SUN🌞 Just don’t🙅‍♂️ look👀 DIRECTLY at those 2️⃣ BIG😱 BALLS🍒 in the sky☁️… or else MR. SUN will FUCKK😫🍆💦 UP your eyes‼️ Send this to 🔟 LUNAR THOTTIES😜😜 Get 🔟 back 📲 and you’re a real SOLAR SLUT😍🍆💦 get 5️⃣ back 📲 and you’ll be seeing someone’s FULL MOON🍑😜 tonight😂😍‼️ get NONE0️⃣🙅‍♂️ back 📲 and 🫵🏻YOU’RE🫵🏻🙊 not🙅‍♀️ getting TOP🥺 until 2️⃣0️⃣4️⃣4️⃣ 👴🏻📆😖‼️ 
              ✨WHATS UP MY CELESTIAL CUMSLUTS 💯 ARE YOU READY FOR THE SEXIII SOLAR ☀️ ECLITS?? 🌒 AT 12:50 🕘 THE SUN 🌝 💦 AND THE MOON 🌚 WILL BE TAG TEAMING 🏷️ IN THE SKY 🌌 MAKE SURE YOU WEAR PROTECTION 😎 BC WE ABOUT TO ⚫️ BLACK OUT 😜 LETS WITNESS THE 💫 COSMIC CLIMAX OF THE CENTURY 😩✨
              
              Send this 👀👇to 24 LUNAtics🌛 OR UR🔪💣💥💥DURING THE ECLIT UR PHONE WILL EXPLODE 🌒‼️
              hey ASStronomists 🧑‍🚀🚀 it’s the GREAT AMERICAN FUCKCLIPSE 🇺🇸🫡😏 where the MOONS ASS 🌚🌝 gets so PHAT 🍑 it blocks the entire SUN 🌞😳 this is the LAST TIME ⏰👆 until TWENTY TWENTY WHORE 2️⃣0️⃣4️⃣4️⃣ so don’t let the CESEXTIAL BODIES ⭐️🌙 let their hard work 😩😍 go to waste 🙅 the NATIONAL AEROTHOTICS 💨 AND SLUT ADMINISTRATION 🪐🔭 encourages you 🫵 to look out for ALIEN DICK 👽🍆 during this CLOSE ENCOUNTER 👅 so put on your SPECIAL GLASSES 🕶️🔎 to see HOW MUCH 📏 👀 ET IS PACKING! 🤭🙊 Send this 📫 to your 5️⃣ THIRSTIEST STARGAZERS 🤤💫 to make this 🙏 the DIRTIEST ECLIPSE YET 🌕😧🥳🌑 
              PSA🚨🚨🚨 do NOT 🚫🙅look 👀at the eclipse 🌚🌝UNLESS you've been building up your SUN IMMUNITY💪💪 🌞like me by staring DIRECTLY 👆at the SUN 💥for a little bit EVERY DAY📆 
              The 👏 Moon 🌙 isn't so 💯 great? 👍 Are 🔢 you 👈 kidding 👶 me? 😭 When 🍑 was 👏 the 👏 last 😍 time 🕐 you 👈 saw 👀 an 👹 astronomical object with 👏 such 😳 an 👹 ability 👉 and 👏 movement 🙌 within the 👏 celestial plane? The 👏 Moon 🌙 puts 😍 the 👏 eclipse game 🎮 to 💦 another 🔄 level, 💯 and 👏 we 👥 will 👏 be 🐝 blessed 🙏 if 👏 we 👥 ever 😠 see 👀 a 👌 planet 📈 with 👏 its 🙅 skill and 👏 passion 😆 for 🍆 moving 🚚 in 👏 front 🔝 of 💦 things 🕑 again. 😬 The 👏 Sun 🌞 breaks 😏 records. Earth 🌎 breaks 😏 records. The 👏 Moon 🌙 breaks 😏 the 👏 rules. 🚷 You 👈 can 💦 keep 👌 your 👏 statistics. I 👁 prefer the 👏 magic. 🎩 
              ⚠🚫Any kind of Glasses which do NOT block Infrared Radiation also over a wide Range below visible Light should NOT be used. ✔Tested Filters and Glasses only. =(🎇-🎇)=^ ⚠NO🚫 welding Glass, (Exception see below mentioned for Type #"14" Filter Grades which are safe according to NASA also) ⚠NO🚫lowdensity wideband photometric Filters. 🌞🔖🔆 🎇🎇 Solar viewing Glasses usually have an approval Marking and therefor have specially designed metallized Foils of very high Coating Density to block enough visible Light as well as almost 100%♨ Infrared Light (which would otherwise 🔥burn your eyes even with unapproved Glasses on). ⚠🚫Standard Rescue Covering Foil is also NOT recommended (bc of low Density). ⚠🚫Normal Sunglasses are also NOT thought for looking directly into the Sun. Now I wish a safe Eclipse Viewing
              So during the ☀️solar eclipse🌚🌒 me 👸🏽and daddy🍆💦💦💦were 😎watching😎 and I kept rubbing my 👸🏽princess parts 🍑💦against his leg and it turned 🍆daddy's peepee💦 on and he was 😡angry😡 that I used my 😽puss puss😻 to seduce him during the eclipse🌚🌝So he swiftly 💨kicked me 🙅🏽in the face 🙇🏽‍♀️with his steel toe boot👢 and said if I did it again I would get in real trouble😱😱😱😱😱😱I did it again😈 just to see if he meant it and then😨😰 HE GOT REALLY 😡MAD😡. He went inside and grabbed a roll of duct tape and taped my eyes 👀open. He then made me stare 👁at the sun 🌞for 5 hours and by then my 🍳eyes 🔥👀🔥were like crunchy 🍤little fried shrimp🍤. Now I'm blind 🤷🏽‍♀️😎but I learned my ❌lesson ❌never to rub my 🍑coochie 🍑against 🍆🍆daddy's poopie🍆🍆Later on 💖daddy 💖gave me his sweet 💕cummies 💕and I got to lick them off the ground, don't tell 🤴🏿daddy 🤴🏿but after I 👄lick👅them up I spit them into a jar I keep under my 🛏 so one day when we're 🤵🏿married👰🏽we can bump 🍆💦🍑cooters on top of the 💧puddle💧