Skip to content

I had a friend who had never cracked his knuckles

    Comment
    byu/Deep_Insect from discussion
    inexplainlikeimfive
    Kinda off topic but when I was around 17 I had a friend who had never cracked his knuckles. I’ve cracked mine for as long as I can remember. But he let me ball his hand into a fist, push my palm against the part between his knuckles and first joint across his fist. It was so loud, so satisfying, virgin knuckles cracked so loud it literally echoed in the room. He didn’t like it and never let me do it again, but I still remember, Jeremy. The feeling of your hand basically exploding in my palm is a feeling I’ll remember forever.

    Already lost my job due to BF6..

      Battlefield 6 copypasta
      source
      I’ve been working as a security guard at my local mall for 7 years. Since the beta came out all I’ve been thinking about is BF6. Played pretty much non stop, called off work for 4 days straight (not a big deal Jerry does it all the time). My first day back was today, and of course all I’ve been thinking about is BF6. In the midst of my fantasizing about battlefield (almost) coming back to its core, I was rudely interrupted by a radio call of an old man who passed out in JC Penny. Without hesitation, I ran tactically through the mall, clearing corners and combat sliding through doorways. I made it to the old man and immediately held X to drag and revive him. I dragged him a few feet and pulled an emergency EpiPen out of my cargo pocket, stabbing him in the stomach. I felt like an absolute hero, like all my training this past weekend had paid off. When the paramedics and police showed up I patiently awaited my commendation medal, and was advised that I had actually killed the old man. I simply replied “sounds like a skill issue.”

I’m now not only unemployed but being charged with attempted murder. I’m currently in jail with a $500,000 bond, but I quickly figured out how to kiester my phone. Hoping BF6 comes out on mobile so I can still play.

Anyone else going through something similar?

      Fuck this subreddit

        Fuck this subreddit
        byu/Someguyiguessidk23 inshittydarksouls
        Fuck this subreddit

Unironically hoping for this subreddit to eventually get quarantined. After engaging with this sub long enough and even typing stuff here occasionally I have come to the conclusion that you all are hopeless.

Because there is no way you motherfuckers somehow manage to set the bar for Reddit even lower.

I mean seriously, this subreddit is full of mentally challenged individuals who shit on games they are supposed to like and mask it as some kind of "ragebait" (which nobody with a developed frontal lobe falls for).

Alternatively y'all just mask it as a "joke". WHAT FUCKING JOKE? Not a single "joke" I remember in this sub has any punchline, let alone a good one, it's just the unfiltered opinion of a person. How is that humor? This community is effectively people who want to be like the OkBuddy subreddits, but can't even figure out how to actually replicate their humor and irony.

And the worst part about this, most of you won't even read this and will just discard it because your attention spans are fucking pathetic or because you think I'm baiting, or turn it into a copypasta. But I genuinely advise you all to consider therapy, cause this behaviour is not normal.

Get help.

        So this is what r/whenthe has become?

          Comment
          byu/Blue_axolotl64 from discussion
          inwhenthe
          So this is what r/whenthe has become? You give one thousand upvotes to a post that has no joke, no punchline? Just ranting about acurrent phenomenon paired with a relevant GIF? No offense to OP but this post should barely have fifty upvotes, much less a thousand. This is worse than r/memes ! At least r/memes tries (and fails) to be funny.

My problem lies not with this posts but the fact that every other post on r/whenthe is like this. Ranting about some internet bullshit or worse, something that happed in the OP's personal life. Am I your friend? Do you think I care? Where's the fucking punchline? It's either one of those stupid rants or something that I should be seeing when I turn on the TV. I'm not saying that those things shouldn't be joked about. God, no, on the contrary. But to joke about something, you kind of need a fucking joke.

This sub was founded off the back of those "slander" memes from 2021 that made fun of all manner of random subjects with, - "gasp" -actual jokes! The used hyperbole and other such tools to make something funny out of basic observational humor. If you are unfamiliar with them or just need a refresher on how to be funny, go back and watch them. For this sub's sake I hope you do.

          A bootyhole is not the vagina

            Its a video by LoveAndLightTV AKA the guy behind the “Yes King” audio meme. In the clip he gave some sage advice to not rush into anal sex, asking for consent and to foreplay first. 

            Yo. So recently, I did a little video that got quite a few views when I was celebrating bottoms. And I support everything that I said. I love me some bottoms, but I want to talk to the tops real quick. And I want all of us to remember that a bootyhole is not a vagina. And we have to be a little bit more sensitive and cognitive of what we're actually diving into. And it's so easy to become excited and to just want to rush in, but you can't do that with every bootyhole. Some bootyholes you got to eat, some bootyholes you got to finger, some bootyholes you got to prepare. You just cannot rush in. Especially if you got a big dick. Like, you got to be sensitive to the bottom. Like, you got to learn to take your time. And I understand. Especially if they got a fat ass and you've been wanting that ass for a minute and they made you wait. I get it. But at the end of the day, we got to be just a little bit more sensitive. And remember that a bootyhole is not a vagina. You just cannot rush up in that thing. You got to take your time and always get consent. Like, just before you have sex, like, yo, is this okay? Then once you get in and you're stroking, before you start beating it up, you got to ask again. Yo, is this okay? Before you start doing tricks and stunts and flips. Yo, is this okay? You cannot just ask consent at the beginning and then just tear that person up. No, you got to ask consent all the way through. It makes your bottom feel safe. It puts you in a position to where you're able to do your thing better, and it makes the sexual experience just that more enjoyable. So get consent. Remember that the bussy is not a pussy, all right? And make sure that we give our bottoms the best experience ever. Keep them coming back.
            Yo so recently i did a little video that got quite a few views when i was celebrating bottoms and i support everything that i said, i love me some bottoms. But i wanna talk to the tops real quick, and i want all of us to remember that a bootyhole is not a vagina and we have to be a little bit more sensitive and cognitive of what were actually diving in to. And its so easy to become excited and just wanna rush in but, you cant do that with every bootyhole. Some bootyholes you gotta eat, some bootyholes you gotta finger, some bootyholes you gotta prepare, you just cannot rush in especially if you got a big dick. Like you gotta be sensitive to the bottom. Like you gotta learn to take your time and i understand especially if they got a fat ass and you been wanting that ass for a minute and they made you wait, i get it. But at the end of the day we gotta be just a little bit more sensitive and remember that a bootyhole is not a vagina, you just cannot rush up in that thing, you gotta take your time. And always get consent. Like just before you have sex like yo is this okay then once you get in and youre stroking before you start beating it up you gotta ask again, yo is this okay. Before you start doing tricks and stunts and fli- yo, is this okay. You cannot just ask consent at the beginning and then just tear that person up. No, you gotta ask consent all the way through. It makes your bottom feel safe, it puts you in a position to where you're able to do your thing better, and it makes the sexual experience that more enjoyable. So get consent, remember that the bussy is not a pussy, alright? And make sure that we give our bottoms the best experience ever, keep them coming back.

            Never make an advertisement again.

              Never make an advertisement again.

You know, I’ve always wondered about people who work in advertising. I know I’ll never be able to ask anyone who works in that field about why they do what they do. Even if I did, it wouldn’t really matter I suppose. I would just forget what they say.

Making advertisements like this isn’t really something that you do expecting to be remembered. It’s a waste really. Professional charlatan. Not even a noteworthy charlatan. Just a professional.

How does it feel to waste your life away wondering how to get people to buy something they don’t really need or want?

How does it feel to work on that deception knowing fully that you’ll never connect to a person through your work in a way more meaningful than one friend telling the other “This game I was playing is really good!”?

It feels like wasted talent; or at least wasted potential. Then again, nobody goes into advertising (especially this sort of advertising) if they have talent or at least potential. They go into it sad and decrepit, they leave it the same way, and then they fucking die after having such a minimal impact on this world that nothing will really happen when the miserable event that is their mind stops happening.

It’s depressing really, that such a person would exist who is willing to drag themselves so low as to do take a job making, designing, or planning an advertisement.

How does it feel knowing that you have no talent, no potential, no impact on the world, and no act or opinion worth remembering?

Actually, don’t answer that. I’d probably just forget. After all, you don’t go into advertising to be remembered.