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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals

    Satire of posts about The Finals on why the game isn’t as popular because the general FPS playerbase are too stupid. The original pasta is for Rick and Morty that became a meme.

    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals. The gameplay is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the mechanics will go over a typical FPS player’s head. There's also Scotty's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about GAME. As a consequence people who dislike The Finals truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Junes's existential catchphrase "thats right scotty" which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Embark's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 
    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Finals. The strategies are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the tactics will go over a typical player's head. There's also Scotty's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Finals truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Scotty's existential catchphrase "Easy Money," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Embark's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a The Finals tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

    Two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

      Started from a random tweet in 2019 which blew up due to its absurdity. The pasta is often known as the “Raccoon copypasta” nowadays.

      The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. 
A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

      LOL – us diaper fetish folk also think

        LOL - us diaper fetish folk also think Taylor is ICONIC. My amazingly witty partner was changing my nappy the other day and she - with *zero* hesitation- said “The tortured poops department.” I laughed until I cried. Absolutely iconic.

        Original Tweet

        LOL - us diaper fetish folk also think Marvel movies are epic. My amazingly witty partner was changing my nappy the other day and she - with *zero* hesitation- said “Whew! Did Thanos wear thus fricken diaper or what?” I laughed until I cried. Absolutely epic.

        Deepwoken Navy Seals copypasta

          What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little perma-freshie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the blade temple, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Duke Erisia’s manor, and I have over 300 confirmed grips. I am trained in primadon warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire summer company. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on all five Luminants, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Deepwoken? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Voidwalker spies across the Etrean Luminant and your spawn is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fuckng dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can grip you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with Way of Navae. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Central Authority and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Luminant, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking wiped, kiddo.

          Just accidentally spent $200 on gems using my penis

            Source
            So firstly, this is not a joke. I genuinely just spent $200 fucking dollars using my meat on gems. So I was goofing around with the Hypixel Store as one does, and I had about $200 in gems in my cart right, I go to tebex and stuff and fill out all my info because its fun and I want to imagine what i’ll do with all the gems right. (I can’t be the only person who does this)

Fast forward a little bit and im in the bathroom fighting for my life and I stop staring at my phone for a moment so I can really lock in cause at this point im like shirt off sweating, and I’m not sure exactly what happened but I must’ve gripped my phone in a way to switch to the chrome app, I then turned around to flush my progress as to not clog the whole city’s plumbing, and at that very moment I dropped my phone into the now-flushed toilet. And I shit you not, as it fell, it swiped across my shlong and purchased it or some shit I deadass don’t know what happened. I eventually fished my phone out of the toilet and managed to disinfect it before touching. When I opened it, I saw a notification from my bank saying I spent $200 on Tebex.

TLDR: Filled my cart with gems and accidentally dropped it in the toilet, as it fell it glided across my johnson resulting in a purchase of $200 to Tebex.

            Shut yo skin tone chicken bone

              POV you just got roasted
              Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zoned sylvester stallone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass tf up

              Extended

              Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone post malone friend zone sylvester stallone hydrocortisone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone lean mean string bean charlie sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine antihistamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarine broken gene halloween defective spleen smokescreen james dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquamarine eugene extra green nicotine vaseline jellybean magazine protein lightning-mcqueen vending machine what'chu mean Ocean Man by Ween mean green jelly bean microsoft windows don't got windows up