Started from an unhinge rant on the Reddit, it has become a well known copypasta within frat community.

This new generation of pledges is so soft. Back in my day...

I’ll tell you shitstains, back in my pledgeship, we had it so rough... or so much better, I can't tell anymore. anyway, every day, we would wake up at 2 in the morning and go to the house for cleaning. we all lived in the dorms, you see, so it was basically one room. and we would ask, me and my 17 pledge brothers, "what's the plan sir?". they would smack us all with a paddle and make us say "thank you sir may I have another". and if we complained and said "but we had beatings yesterday" - because we had beatings every day - they would smack us all five times with a larger paddle with holes in it and say "what’s every brother’s middle name and hometown. I swear I’m gonna make i-week suck so much for you", i-week was about the same as waterboarding back in the day. then we would head to class. we met up with the Fiji kids from down the hall, and walked the 6 miles to school. on the way to school, we had to walk up a hill so tall it extended to outer space. when we got to the top of the hill, we would see the SAE boys in their fancy BMWs - which they dont make like they used to, and we would call out to them “sexual assault expected”. then, when we got to class at 4 in the morning, the professor would come up to us and say "you retards are late", then he would smack us all with another paddle 10 times and tell us we had 7 years till we’d graduate. then, we went back to the house, and the seniors would say "ok line up pussies", then spank us each 60 times, then make us beer bong 40 times each. then it was 6 at night and we had to walk home. then, when we got home, we'd text the girls floor "what’s the move", and they’d ghost us or say "do I know you”. and if we kept trying, they would text our pledge master and say "your pledges are soft, haze them harder later. Btw when is the next party" - the pledge master never invited them to shit. then, when the seniors got home from their two 100 level classes they re-took as a requirement, they’d make us get on bows and toes. if we had been naughty, they’d make us do it on bottle caps. then, at 7:04, the secretary would say "ok time for chapter". then, we got into our pledge uniforms, and we would recite the Greek alphabet until the upperclassmen were happy. on saturdays (which were for the boys), we went down to the liveout to clean. we would have to pick up 420 cans each, all while fighting off the homeless. we would get on the party bus and pay our fare of bringing two freshmen each - one as our date and one for a brother. then, if there weren’t enough girls at the after party, the pledge master would make us run a mile while doing Edward 40 hands. if any of us spilled a drop, we would take off an article of clothing and we had to sprint the rest of the way. when we got back to the liveout, the pledge master would show up to the gate with his bong, make us hit it 780 times with Dokha, and tell us to get in the basement so we could clean. then, we had to scrub the dance floor with a toothbrush while blasting darude sandstorm - now, they don’t make eurodance like they used to, and it was about 1234.5 degrees spencer, or 69 degrees centigrade using your new-fangled nationals system. then, we would have to “milk the cows” - now, they dont make sigma cattle like they used to, so each cow weighed about 6.9 alpha phis, or 3.2 chads in your new-fangled nationals system. if you touched a cows tit, it would fall in love with you and you could be crushed, so you had to be really careful when you milked the cows. then, when we were done, the pledge master would say "ok bitch boys time for your reward". he would give us each a handle of fleischmanns - which is worth about one blackout each - and make us kill it before we left. on sundays, we would meet the axo girls and go down to the dorm food halls - now, they don't make dorm food like they used to, so this food was about as dank as a five star restaurant, and as unhealthy as eating a juul pod, and only cost 3 points. we would eat and go lift near the campus, calling the foreign exchange students pussies, and the Pikes dumbass tryhards. now - they don't make Pike like they used to, so this kid had a skull as thick as Lizzo, and was roided up enough that his shirt started choking him at the neck. one day, the pike dropped a dumbbell on his foot. when it hit, the only bit of his foot we could recognize was his uncut toenail. we called him a retard and told him to get off the bench. his friend said "oh its just a scratch you pussy, dont worry pop another xan and you'll be right" and he gave the kid some pills and a kiss and we could tell they were both pikes. after we finished lifting, we would go to the Asian lady’s store and get some 4Loko with our fakes. now, back in the day, you could give the shopkeeper a fake - which is worth about as much as you paid for it - and she would give you a wink and upcharge the shit out of you. so we would say thanks for the lokos, and we'd go to the dorms and drink them. now, we didn't have any of your fancy liquor laws back in the day, so there was all kinds of stuff in our lokos. alcohol, caffeine, whatever is in monster energy drinks--you name it. so we would always get a little lit after our lokos. one day, when we were hammered, we went up the dean’s car, the only lambo in the town, and pissed on it. as we pissed on it, we saw him storming down the street holding his ridiculous salary. "you degenerates, having fun while i do nothing all day in my office just so you can have a degree to maybe get a job, i oughta suspend you all". we were sure he was going to suspend us, but then he said "no, i got a better idea, ill give you more community service hours, that’ll set ya right". now, our community service chair had told us about getting our hours. he was a kiss ass from the chartering days, when they actually got hours and made grades, but we never did that now. our president walked us all down to campus, and we saw a shitty sorority event put on by girls who didn’t drink or have sex until college. "ladies," said our president, "i have some idiots here who need a good charity event". then, the girls made us get out our wallets, and made us each give them all our cash. then, our president said "right, i gotta go back to fucking this sorority’s president, you morons run to the house now". now, by now it was 9pm, which meant it was pregame time again. while we were stumbling out of our rooms, we heard a geed shout "glad I don’t pay for my friends". we turned around and saw this dweeb we sent home during rush. we beat the brakes off him, each landing 160265 punches, then told him better luck next year. now - they don't make rush events like they used to - you have to be sober now, and the new generation is full of pussies. our pledgeship lasted about 13526 years, until we finally got initiated after the most brutal hazing you couldn’t imagine. then, they hit us all 1292 times with a congratulatory paddle, and told us we’d still be bitches for the rest of our lives. so don't you come complaining to me about nonsense like a scavenger hunt without beer bonging ciroc and pepper sauce.