When we were in highschool, me and my best mate use to sleep over or hang out at each other's houses often. So one night at a sleep over, we're playing dares and he looks to me and goes.
"Bet you won't suck on my balls"
Not wanting to back down I said yes and watched him drop his pants, I never seen such a beautiful, saggy ball sack in my entire life. I sorta lost myself as I was sucking on on his balls. He must've too, cause he pulled me off and had been a good 3 minutes. We both just laughed it off and went to sleep for the night.
But it was different between us, we pretend like it didn't happen for a long time. But then out of nowhere as I was at his house, he comes up to me and I look up to see that beautiful ball sack waving slightly in front of me, he asked me to suck on his balls again and I can't believe I said yes so fast.
From that moment on, it was different. Each time we were at each other's house, he's ask "Can you suck on my balls." Or I'd go "Want me to polish your nuts" It got to the point, that we knew that by the day ended, his nuts were going to be in my mouth a couple of times. He even got more bold, asking me to stay on his balls as he jerked off. Making me suck and lick his nuts clean after a work out. He began to just demand I suck on his balls and I agreed to it. It was amazing, of course we were still friends.
But the fact he had this control over me was sexy. All he had to do was flash his balls and my mouth would be watering. I'd be weak in the knees and all he had to say was "Down" And my mouth was open and i'd be sucking his fat sack.
Edit: The fact this has gotten soo much attention concerns me 😂😂
I want to fuck Spongebob. I want to slide my semen hose into every dispersed crevice and hole of his ripe yellow dermis. I want him to crush my cock and balls against my will until they’re just as pendulous and flabby as his succulent sponge-skin. I want him to forcefully suck me off with his moist yellow cavities as I’m held down by Mr. Krab’s razor sharp sex-talons. If only he would role-play as Sigmabob Grindpants so I could grind my pathetic little cum drizzled fuck-sausage against his shorts, my life would be complete.
Recently I discovered my parents play LoL together in secrecy.
My younger brother and I were both gifted new gaming laptops last Christmas. My parents set some ground rules however. After 8pm they are to be left in the lounge room as to ensure we don’t take them to bed with us and spend the entire evening gaming.
A few evenings ago I woke up in the middle of the night and was fairly restless, I tossed and turned in bed and for the love of god could just not get back to sleep. I laid awake staring at the ceiling finally on the verge of dozing back off until I started hearing some faint noises. The noises were fairly quiet at first and seemed to be coming from my parents room. As the seconds past the noises became more clear and more frequent. It was my father and mother, and they were playing LoL!
I couldn’t make out most of what they were saying but they must of been caught in an intense team fight. I heard a lot of back a forth sighing and panting and what I assume was the banging of the mouse against bed side table.
I laid there and listened in as best I could and the noises kept ramping up and I assume the game got more intense and more intense.
It must of been slightly past the 25 minute mark at this point when all I can assume a massive team fight broke out. I suppose my father is a support main like my self as I could hear my mother encouraging him and coaching him on his Alistar play.
“Pulverise that pussy! Pulverise it”
There must have been a Yummi on the other team. I could picture the team fight in my head playing out and I started to get more frantic wondering what the outcome of the team fight would be.
“Yes baby, keep going keep going” My mother exclaimed.
They must of aced them and are now running down mid to close the game out! I can only assume my mother has just respawned and is about to TP in the enemy base to join father in killing the nexus!
“I’m coming baby I’m coming” She keeps repeating to my father “Yes keep hitting it just like that” My dad must be carrying this game from the way my mother is yelling at him in joy
“OHHHH FUCK YES DAVID” she screams!
He’s done it. My dad has killed the nexus and my parents have gained some hard earned LP.
The room goes silent and I catch my breath also after listening in on one of the most intense games of my life. I assume they didn’t que up again because in the next hour or so I didn’t hear a noise. Eventually I fall back asleep myself.
The next morning I got up out of bed and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. My parents are sitting at the table.
We make some small talk before I have to quickly head out the door and go meet my friends. As I’m about the leave I turn to both of them and let them know I heard them last night.
I quickly pat my dad on the back and congratulate him and start heading out the door. My father has gone bright red and my mother’s mouth is wide open in shock.
I assume they are both embarrassed and completely gob smacked because they haven’t said a word and I now know they are gamers.
Just before I pull the door closed behind me I turn to my mother and exclaim “Don’t worry mum, I fucking hate Yummi too” and give her a cheeky little wink
SINCE FUCKING 2000-LATE I’VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT ELON MUSK MAKING CAT GIRLS AND THAT IS BULL SHIT. Catgirls? Catboys? That sounds stupid as fuck how about instead of making useless shit like pussy that goes nya nyaaan we make something, #BETTER #FUCNTIONAL #FUN
That’s right motherfucker, I’m talking about anthropomorphic honey bees, AKA HUNNIES which sounds 10,000% better in English than CatGirl/Boy/Person/SpaceCadet . Have you not seen the hype on r/honeyfuckers ? Those MF’s are thicc. oH BuT aReNt MoSt BeEs MeN? Hurr hurrdy hurr, WHO CARES it’s crazy you spend 24 hours a day simping for some femboys but you can’t find a voluptuous piece of stinger yielding ass appealing? OBVIOUSLY if they’re going to genetically engineered they’re having at LEAST triple B tiddies if not larger. How about instead of waiting for the end of the world and cwying “uwuuuu daddy I nweed to gwo to the mwooon beclaws cwapitalizm is scawwwy” you shut the fuck up and accept the future is changing.
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
