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I need a femboy

    Femboy is an adolescent male whose appearance and behavioural traits are regarded as conventionally feminine
    I just want a cute little femboy to please all my sexual needs, I would smash his boy pussy whusy and he would be like "Nwooo you boy cwant jwust boy cum in my boy pwussie sussie boy whussie", then I would be all like "YEEEEEEAH😎😎😎😎", then, when we are doing 69 (funny number big chungus), he would fart in my face accidentally, but then it wouldn't be just a boy fart ("bart", for the man of culture r/culture), it would be straight up shit, and I would happily eat all of it, and he would be like "What the fuck? Why are you eating my shit?", that question wouldn't be a wholesome 100 keanu reeves everyone liked that big chungus moment, then I would slap his butt as hard as I can and say "EMERGENCY MEETING, THERE'S AN IMPOSTOR AMANG US" and then he would say "Are you autistic?", then I would say "I KNOW WHO THE IMPASTER IS... MY PISS" and then I would eject my piss into his boy sussy whushy clushy amangus pussy, and it would be a real r/epic big chungy chungus chunguilus moment

    If Mr. Beast was in charge of Squid Game.

      Pog they died
      Today I took 456 of the most poor and destitute people of Korea ( who are also of my subscribers ) and challenged them to a series of 6 EPIC kids games and the prize is 45.6 billion won. What they don't know is if they lose they die. If you end up liking the video please smash like. But first I have to talk about this episodes sponsor Honey.

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Now with that out of the way, ON WITH THE VIDEO

Ok so we just brought them in and put them in their beds and this is insane.

We literally have more than 450 here and we're going to see than play some games, for a bunch of money. Remember that every single person here is also a subscriber, on top of being financially destitute. So if you want a chance to receive tons and tons of money, make sure you hit the subscribe button down below as you can get a chance to play for money.

Ok boys, its time to wake them up.

I want Chris, Karl, Chandler, Nolan and Tareq to go down there and tell them the rules of the game. Here take these pink jumpsuits masks and these guns and go explain the situation to the subscribers.

Ok so while the boys are going down I'm going to show you guys the first game our
contestants are going to be playing.

      I let my dog lick me

        One of those cursed pasta
        So yeah, I'm pretty fucked up, I know. If it helps, I had a fucked up childhood - Freud would love me. I had an extremely high sex drive in high school but no friends or girlfriend. Somewhere between high school and college I became a completely new individual with a new personality and I recognize that this was wrong, and I carry a massive amount of shame, and the more I think about it each day, the more I hate myself for it. I've seen girls receive support in this sub for things like this, so I'm hoping I can get it off my chest to you guys without receiving too much hate for it.

Lol, now here's the fun part of the post. One night, I wondered what it would be like to let my dog lick my dick with peanut butter on it. I didn't like it and I felt pretty weird, but my dog seemed to really enjoy it. My dog kept trying to lick my asshole and I would stop her, but she would fight against my hand to lick it. And let me tell you, it felt AMAZING. I decided to just let her do it, and I came within seconds. So, sporadically over the course of a few years, I probably let her do it around 5 times. And I regret it, so much. I just feel totally weird and ashamed and guilty. I mean, I didn't force her to do anything and she's got no trauma from it. She was probably just thinking, "Hey look! An asshole! Om nom nom."

My brain is so fucked up. I'm on hella meds, I've got bipolar disorder and PTSD, my sex drive is/was insatiable, but I didn't know any of this in high school, so I blame my past untreated mental illness (currently well treated) for my weirdness. I feel like because of my past shames, I could never truly be loved. Like, if I told my girlfriend this, who has pronounced unconditional love to me, would probably break up with me because it's so heinous, creepy and weird (Yeah We're getting a little sentimental here). I hate that I have to live the rest of my life carrying this ugly disgusting secret. I hope I can get close enough to my gf to tell her this someday, but it would have to be a 10 years relationship minimum - just so I know she's stuck with me and probably wouldnt leave me over it at that point. I wish I had never done it.

Thanks for reading!

        Sex is hard to do in the matrix

          Matrix: resurrections plot just got leaked
          Sex is hard to do in the matrix. Imagine this, you’re having sex with yo girl and then an Agent possesses her AS YOU FUCK HER. It’s only okay if you’re gay OR yo girl got possessed by Agent Pace, who’s also a girl but jokes on you! You don’t know Italian. There’s also this chance: Yo girl tells you she got a new fuckbuddy. It’s Agent Smith. She’s fucking a guy a decade or 2 older than her. Why? You decide to sneak up on them having sex and you sneak a camera into the room. He is grabbing yo girl’s boobs. There is black goo everywhere. She turns into a clone of him. Yo girl has been killed by her new fuckbuddy. You will never get good pussy again

          If whatsapp was in dragonball 😂

            Dragonball is manga and anime franchise.
            Vegeta: I NEED Cock goku.
ChiChi: Stop training and come home😡
Caulifa: I NEED Cock goku.
Piccolo: I NEED Cock goku.
Mr. Popo: I NEED Cock goku.
Supreme Kai: I NEED Cock goku.

            Steamed Hams transcript

              Simpsons season 7 episode 21 "Steamed Hams" scene
              Full video
              Open full dialogue
              I don't know if this has been posted before but here goes nothing.

ding dong

Well Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
yeah...

gasp Oh egads! My roast is ruined!
But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?
Oh hohoho... Delightfully devilish, Seymour!

ah-
intro theme plays

Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
when you hear Skinner's lame exaggerations there'll be trouble in town tonight!

SEYMOOOOOOOUUUUURRRR

Superintendent I was just, uh, stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise, care to join me?

Why is there smoke coming out of your oven Seymour?

Oh that's not smoke, it's steam! Steamed from the steamed clams we're having! mmmm! Steamed clams!
Phew!

Superintendent I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!

I thought we were having steamed clams?

Oh, no! I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Uh huh. What region?
Upstate New York.
Really. Well i'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase steamed hams.
Oh not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
I see.

You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Oh hohohoho no! Patented Skinner Burgers, an old family recipe!

For steamed hams.
Yes!
Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

y- uh- you know- One thing I sh-
Excuse me for one second.
Of course.

Aaaaaa well. That was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
Yes i should be-
GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?
Aurora Borealis.
A- Aurora Borealis. At this time of year,
At this time of day,
In this part of the country,
Localized entirely within your kitchen?

Yes!
May i see it?
No.

Seymour! The house is on fire!
No mother, it's just the northern lights.

Well Seymour, I must say, you are an odd fellow.
But you steam a good ham.

HELP! HEEEEELP!

short firetruck noise
              Open full dialogue with caption
              CHALMERS: Well, Seymour, I made it... despite your directions.
SKINNER: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
CHALMERS: Uhh...
SKINNER: [gasp] Oh egads, my roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Seymour!
CHALMERS: Uh-
[cue song]
Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
[end of song]
CHALMERS: Seymour!
SKINNER: Superintendent, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
CHALMERS: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
SKINNER: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh...
[a few moments later]
SKINNER: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
CHALMERS: I thought we were having steamed clams.
SKINNER: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
CHALMERS: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"
SKINNER: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
CHALMERS: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
SKINNER: Uhh... upstate New York?
CHALMERS: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
SKINNER: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
CHALMERS: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
SKINNER: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
CHALMERS: For steamed hams?
SKINNER: Yes.
CHALMERS: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
SKINNER: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
CHALMERS: Of course.
SKINNER: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
CHALMERS: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
SKINNER: Aurora borealis?
CHALMERS: Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?
SKINNER: Yes!
CHALMERS: May I see it?
SKINNER: No.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: Seymour, the house is on fire!
SKINNER: No, mother—it's just the northern lights!
CHALMERS: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: Help! Help!