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My child is gay 😡😡😡

    So my little boy (13) told me he was gay this morning. I can't believe I raised such a misogynistic boy 😭😭😭😭😭I can't believe my own child wouldn't like women 😡😡😡😡😡😭😭😭😭😢😢😢how😟😟😟😟 could I make my child so sexist he completely rejects women and be comes a full male 🤬🤬🤬 SUPREMACIST😡😰😰😰 I can't believe he only likes men what a full sexist I'm kicking him out of my home IMMEDIATELY😓😮‍💨😮‍💨😱😱😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬 THIS IS HORRIBLE🤬🤬 THIS IS😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬 NOT MY FAULT ITS THE ERICSON'S THEIR MOM IS A PIECE OF SHIT😳😤😤 DIVORCED FUCK 🤬🤬😠🤬😠🤬😠😡😠🤬🤬😠😡😠THEIR CONTAGIOUS GAYNESS RUBBED OFF ON MY SWEET BABY BOY AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!??!!??!

    Response to translation of “lolicon” to “pedophile”

      Literally 1984
      Thanks for reminding me why I watch fansubs. Tired of these shitty localizations pushed by “politically correct” corporations in order to appease the blue-haired progressives of Twitter and Reddit.

The technical difference between “lolicon” and “pedophile” absolutely does exist, and in an academic or legal context, or among otaku characters making specific use of the term, it is definitely better to leave it as lolicon.

Edit: Lol mayo monkeys raging when confronted with any criticism towards their linguistic imperialism.

      TIFU by cupping my husbands balls and licking his nipple

        Reddit subs are just fetish fanfics now
        TIFU my cupping my husbands balls and licking his nipple

Let me start this by saying we’re both pretty big trolls and we’re always fucking with each other. Our most recent battles have been “bean dipping” each other.

See bean dip: To flick a woman's (or man's) breast with the index finger. Dubbed "bean dip" because the move is similar to that of scooping up bean dip.

Anyways, the last couple of days I have decided to up the “bean dipping” and randomly cup his balls and lick his nipple creepily lol. At the fridge, making dinner, brushing teeth. Doesn’t matter. The more unexpected the better. The more I can get him to make the shocked pikachu face, the better!

So anyways. Here come the TIFU.

It’s 8am. We’re just waking up — still in bed, doing our morning cuddling. Morning time is usually our “sexy time”.

I cup his balls, lick his nipple — but this time, no pikachu face. This time…

This time he farts the raunchiest fart of all the land. And pulls the blanket over my head. I’ve been Dutch ovened, FUCK!

But things get worse. I’m gagging and he jumps out of bed and charges out of the room coughing at his own putrid-ness. I shortly follow. PUKING.

I puked. And puked. And puked.

Our room STILL smells. We have two fans and an AC unit in that bitch. And IT. STILL. SMELLS. He’s McNasty lol

TL;DR: Trolled my husband. Got Dutch ovened. Puked.

        Mario Movie Copypasta

          The Mario Movie pasta was originally posted in 4chan
          Miyamoto announcing the cast

          Updated version after the Nintendo Direct

          >this summer...
>everyone's favorite plumber...
>is coming to the big screen
>*cuts to bowser voiced by Jack Black* What a bummer!
>*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
>*Mario wakes up giddy for the moning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to take up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio
>"in other news, princess peach has been-"
>Mario, voiced by Chris Pratt "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!"
>Luigi, voiced by Charlie Day, "just go on without me, man"
>Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! Without you I'm just... Regular Mario Brother."
>two brothers will find themselves
>Mario "what?! Peach is missing?"
>Luigi "really?"
>and maybe Peach
>Mario "and bowser took her?”
>Luigi "wow REALLY?"
>but first they have to find Bowser
>bowser: "I know what girls like!"
>*presents a bundle of fire flowers to Peach* "fire flower?"
>*Peach kicks him in the balls*
>"AAAAA My fire balls!”
>who might need to be saved from peach
>peach, voiced by who do you fucking think, it's Anya Taylor-Joy "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even to the Olympic Games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!”
>this summer is going to be
>*montage of slap stick*
>*bowser twerking*
>Mario "aaawkward"
>this summer is going to be...
>*montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*
>*toad doing a head spin*
>"LIIIIIIIIT"
>this summer is going to be!
>*montage of every time they say "super" in the movie
>SUPER
>Super Mario Bros.

          Original 4chan version

          >this summer...
>everyone's favorite plumber...
>is coming to the big screen
>*cuts to bowser voiced by Adam Sandler* What a bummer!
>*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
>*Mario wakes up giddy for the moning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to take up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio
>"in other news, princess peach has been-"
>Mario, voiced by Aziz Ansari "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!"
>Luigi, voiced by Owen Wilson, "just go on without me, man"
>Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! Without you I'm just... Regular Mario Brother."
>two brothers will find themselves
>Mario "what?! Peach is missing?"
>Luigi "really?"
>and maybe Peach
>Mario "and bowser took her?”
>Luigi "wow REALLY?"
>but first they have to find Bowser
>bowser: "I know what girls like!"
>*presents a bundle of fire flowers to Peach* "fire flower?"
>*Peach kicks him in the balls*
>"AAAAA My fire balls!”
>who might need to be saved from peach
>peach, voiced by who do you fucking think, it's Kristen Schaal "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even to the Olympic Games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!”
>this summer is going to be
>*montage of slap stick*
>*bowser twerking*
>Mario "aaawkward"
>this summer is going to be...
>*montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*
>*toad doing a head spin*
>"LIIIIIIIIT"
>this summer is going to be!
>*montage of every time they say "super" in the movie
>SUPER
>Super Mario Bros.

          my toddler doesn’t seem to care about being anti-r*cist

            Hey guys, I just came here to rant, (tw: rcism, trmpism, s*xism)

So the other day I was speaking with my toddler, who just recently turned 3 years old. I had to sit down with him and talk to him about racism after I caught his racist ass watching Paw Patrol. (its a show that glorifies p*lice)

When I asked him why he would watch such a horrendous show, he simply responded with “Ga ga goo”

I was fuming. Was he mocking me? I certainly never anticipated that I would raise such a cold blooded rcist. I am starting to think that his response was fueled by sxism caused by his dad, who is a whte mle.

I showed him a video of hypersexual gay antifa militants to try to normalize his behavior. About halfway through the video one of the antifa militants gets tackled by a plice after flashing his genitals to an old woman. My rcist son thought this was funny and went “ha ha”

What should I do? I dont want him to grow up to be a Trmp supporter or a homophbic.

            No, you’re NOT a gamer

              12 year olds on XBox live when you kill them:
              Vidya gaem
              No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.

Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.

Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.