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Burger King Foot Lettuce

    Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.
    
    But that's even worse.
    
    The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

    Brap

      Brap sniff oh yes my dear
      BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
       
      snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
       
      BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF
       
      Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
       
      BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
       
      Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….
      BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

      When i was younger I got curious and ended up jacking off to the Diary of Anne frank.

        Anne Frank cursed copypasta
        When i was about 13 and browsing the internet i discovered that Anne Frank's father removed some of the pages of her diary which contained her talking about masturbation and other such topics.Me being curious kid i decided to read it and needless to say i got excited midway through.The post nut clarity hit me like a truck and i still regret it to this day.
        
        TL;DR:found removed pages of Anne's franks diary and masturbated to them

        Why futa is less gay than straight porn

          Actually, futa can be made less gay than straight porn. You see, straight porn has one guy and one girl. Because you're fapping to something with one guy in it, that's 50% gay. If you watch futa fuck a girl, that's one girl and a half girl, thus only 25% gay. You could make it 0% gay with two girls but the problem is, that makes them lesbian, which wraps back to being 100% gay.

          The straightest thing a straight man can do is having sex with a femboy.

            Sex with femboy is straight
            The straightest thing a straight man can do is having sex with a straight femboy. Its true, think about it. Women like men and liking men is gay thus making sex with women gay. However if you fuck a straight femboy straight away you both don't like men thus it wouldn't be gay, right? Wrong. Let me explain.
            
            You might think that because of the femboy being straight and not looking masculine, it wouldn't be gay to fuck him but in reality the femboy would be gay because you look masculine. Having sex with a man is gay, so you would become gay too. So in order to have straight sex, you too have to become a femboy yourself. If there is no masculinity involved and you both are straight, you both stay straight during intercourse. It's that simple.

            Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? Yes.

              The gayest thing you can do objectively speaking is having sex with a woman. Think about it. It is literally a part of the body that EVOLVED to take dicks. Their own structure by nature accommodates dick. Not only that, and this is true I googled it, vaginas can also release baby boys which grow into men. So you are having sex with a potential man making factory as well. Not to mention vaginas store the energy of all dicks that have been inside there so it's basically like someone is slapping a bunch of hotdogs together in a damp cave. You are essentially fucking those ghost dicks alongside her. You are having sex with a man making dick pocket.
              
              Literally is there anything else gayer than this? There isn't.
              
              The straightest thing you can do is call up your boys.
              
              It is scientifically proven that men being around other men increases testosterone. That is the life blood of masculinity if you didn't know. In order to stimulate our testo-production you should embrace your boys in a circle to exchange masculine energy. Make sure you are all holding hands so there is no break in the masculine energy flow. Hold eye contact to establish dominance. Also, I recommend doing this nude and outdoors. Nature is always good, and the public should fear you.
              
              Being nude with your fellow men and seeing one another's muscles allows you to psych up if in a life or death scenario you could either A) take them in a fight or B) they would be useful to you in a 2v2. Once you are done massaging each other and potentially-probably masturbating, you will feel an elevation in your general prowess as a man.
              
              Like a rabid leopard fresh off the kill. You will be ready to yell at women on Discord, drink BANG energy drinks, misunderstand every major theme in American Psycho all while listening to Joe Rogan in no time. Just like a true straight man would.