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I owed a friend £22.91 for an Uber.

    Ken Change story of "I owed a friend £22.91 for an Uber.
I transferred them £22.19 by accident."

    Created by Ken Cheng, a comedian on LinkedIn, its a circlejerk story meant to poke fun at the hustler mentality of most LinkedIn users.

    I owed a friend £22.91 for an Uber.
    
    I transferred them £22.19 by accident.
    
    They never brought it up.
    
    Nobody would bring up 72p.
    
    I did it on purpose. 
    
    I've been doing it for years.
    
    Every time I have to transfer someone money, I "accidentally" leave off a bit.
    
    I call it the Plausible Deniability Typo.
    
    £24.37 instead of £24.73.
    £9.38 instead of £9.83.
    £3.46 instead of £3.64.
    
    Sometimes if I'm feeling really risky, I'll do £18.54 instead of £19.54.
    
    They'd look like a complete tool to quibble over this.
    
    Instead, they are a tool in a different way.
    
    A tool for me to get to the top.
    
    I've probably made £100 over 5 years.

    I hate Saurus

      Its a hate rant on the Saurus species from the Warhammer universe.

      I hate saurus. I hate them. I hate their lizard faces. I hate their clubs. I hate their sticks. I hate when the sticks are next to the clubs and I hate when the clubs are next to the sticks. I hate that Kroq-gar pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.
      
      I hate the Saurus auto-resolve meter. I hate it because it lies to me. It says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is patently false, because I have twenty units of skeletons who are held together with prit stik and prayer. I do not have twenty units of eight foot tall geckos constructed out of pectoral muscles and galvanised coffin nails.
      
      I hate that they shout bok at me. Bok is the Bristol Orienteering Klub, which is completely irrelevant to a battle in Lustria and should not be shouted repeatedly while eating a rank of tier one infantry like buffalo wings.
      
      I hate their morale. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a US general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating rear attack is to become somewhat peeved. I have looked a Saurus in his smug scaly face as an encirclement that would shatter any other early game infantry closed in.
      
      He went from :I to >:I , killed an extra two hundred skeletons because I had foolishly allowed all four sides of the Saurus unit to fight at once and then swallowed my Liche Priest like a slim jim.
      
      I have resolved to shoot every Saurus dead. Every Saurus. All of the Saurmen and the Saurdren too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a thick blanket of arrow trails. I hate that it barely stops them. I hate that they keep coming while shouting about the Bristol orienteering klub, or the Bank of Oklahoma or the 1983 Bok asteroid. I hate that they made me google bok so I could write down ways in which I hate things that have it as a name. Bok is also a lunar crater and a martian crater. It is also a village in Iran. The IATA code for Brookings Airport is Bok. I will never go there because it would give me palpitations.
      
      I hate that Kroq Gar is friends with the Rare Pepe next door, who also declares war once I've shot Kroq Gar unconscious for the tenth time. He also has Saurus only these ones are blue. Somehow this is worse.
      
      I hate that there are another ten Lizard factions. I hate that they will be in end game by the time I reach them. I hate that while I was writing this Kroq Gar picked up Kalida and smoked her like a cigar.
      
      I hate Saurus.

      I think I fucked up… (Balatro at casino)

        Guys, the other day I was playing at a casino, you know, using all my +18 Balatro gambling skills, as Pegi advertises, but it was weird.
        
        First there were no bosses, second I was playing with other players (since when Balatro has multiplayer?), and finally, everyone was using the same deck, and neither a fancy one, I kept asking for a Yellow Deck, but everyone was like “Why do you keep asking for 10 dollars? Do we look like a bank?”
        
        Anyway, things go well, and I keep winning chips, some folks were confused that my chips keep growing when I was not even “betting” (I don’t even know what that means. They keep saying you needed to take chips and put in some kind of hot pot? Sounded they either eat chips or smoke it, which sound horrible and stupid.).
        
        The problem was, I was becoming bored of playing the same basic hands, so at some point I had enough, and put in the table a Banana, Ramen, a dice, a heartstone and some half-eaten popcorn. I pulled a booster pack, picked a polychrome ace heart card and used four death cards to make a Five Flush. I know, I know, not very optimal, I should have kidnapped four burger kings and a mime.
        
        So suddenly, everyone is screaming at me for being a cheater, even though I keep telling my hand was a legit hand as I learned in Balatro, the gambling teacher game for adults, the casino refuses to me to pay me my money I won fair and just (Heck, is only 2 dollars for my two hands. I don’t why they keep counting nervously my trillion chips and sobbing half-way everytime I ask for my money), and now guys in black suits and dark glasses keep chasing me and keep repeating something something about “Level 3 reality threat”. What do I do? I just want to play Balatro, but they keep hijacking my internet and backseating me into playing flushes, is a fucking nightmare.

        Throwing Shoe at George Bush Day

          On this day in PISStory, according to DICKipedia… "On 1️⃣4️⃣ DICKcember 🍆😂 2008 ✌️👌👌🎱 , Iraqi 🇮🇶 journalist 🤓📰✍️ Muntadhar al-Zaidi removed his shoes 🫳👞👞 and YEETED THOSE THANGS 🤾‍♂️ at US 🇺🇸🤢 presidussy 🙄😏🤪 George W 👙🦵BUSH🦵🫢 !‼️‼️!!" 🤣🤣🧓🏻💥👞 Take a lesson 👩‍🏫💭 from Mr. al-ZADDY 🙌🙌 today… if someone's 🧓🏻giving you and your homies 👪🇵🇸 a tough time 😡, hit em with the the ✊️👢FOOTWEAR OF JUSTICE!✊️!👢!🩴‼️‼️ Send this to your shoe-clad 👠👡comrades 👯👯‍♀️👯‍♂️ in the fight against fascism 🙅‍♀️🇺🇸🇮🇱🙅‍♀️💣🙅‍♀️. Get none 🔙 and you're sucking old Georgie's toesies!👄🦶🤮 Get 🖐🖐🖐 🔙 and you wield🤺⚔️ LA CHANCLA PODEROSA🩴⚖️✊️‼️‼️ either way… FREE PALESTINE!! 🇵🇸 🍉 🇵🇸🍉 🇵🇸🍉 🇵🇸 

          Boston Tea Party anniversary

            Life 💋 liberty 🎉 and the pursuit of CUNTness 🏳️‍🌈✨ 💋✨🫖 The OG tea 🫖🍵 spill was on 🎉✨🏴‍☠️💅 12/16/1773 🌊💔👀 when some mASSHOLES 💃🌈 said "No taxes 💸❌, no tyranny 👑🔥!" and yeeted that tea 🍵🚢💅 right overboard ⛵🍃 they served Boston Harbor realness 💦💄✨and there was no milk 🥛👎🙅🏻‍♂️ they said King George⁉️ we don’t know her 💅👑❌🤡🔥 👠💅 Fast-forward ⏩🕒 to today 🗓️📅 12/16/24 and baby 😏✨ we queens 🏳️‍🌈💋 are still spilling tea 🍵💣🍷like it’s brunch 👠💃🍳✨ It was 🎂🎆 a revolution 💥🏳️‍🌈 for bottoms 🍑✨ and Boston alike 🚩🏴‍☠️ No taxation 🤑❌, only serving 🍸🍹✅ a side of Daddy Issues 🫦💔 💥👑 Tea Party FOREVER 🎉💅👑 Send this to 10 GAYtriots 🇺🇸🦅🏳️‍🌈if you get none back you’ll get tea bags 🫖🍑 flyin’ in your face 😉😏🍆🍑💦if you get 5 back your tea 🫖🍵 will be SPILLED 💦 if you get 10 back your whigs will be SNATCHED 👩‍🎤🔥if you get 15 back you’ll RECLAIM your HERSTORY 📜✨ 🏳️‍🌈 

            Wright Brother’s day

              Happy ⛄ Daddy 😘😍 Wright Brother’s 👨 day 🌞💐 from 👉 one 1️⃣ FREAKquent flier to another. 4️⃣ They 💁 may 🌌 have 🔵😤 altered aerospace history, 📜 but YOU 👀👈 altered ally-space HERstory with your 🚹 own panty dropping 👄🍑 mechanical 🤖🦾 propeller. Hope 🏿🙏 someone 💀 takes 💅 you 👈🏼😂👉🔥 down 🔽⤵️🔽⤵️🔽⤵️ to the KITTY 🐱 hawk dunes and shows 📺📦 you 🤟 twelve 🕧 seconds 🥈🥈🥈 of sky 🤡 high 🔊 PLEASURE. 🙏 Send 🔥 this to 10 of your 🍆 best 🏆🥇 WINGwomen or be 🐝 faced 👦 with a ROUGH ✋🏼 landing. 🛬