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I am a pig and I eat slop

    original tweet

    Its a Tweet from @RealPokemoki (a MTG pro) who gave an analogy of pigs eating slop for the card game.

    You have a favorite restaurant that you've dined at for many years now. You love it because they serve high quality food and are staffed by people who care about making the experience of eating at the restaurant good. One day, you notice a new item on the menu.

Slop.

“What's this for?” You ask the waiter.

“It's for the pigs. Pigs eat slop.”

Over time, a 2nd flavor of slop shows up on the menu. Then a 3rd. Then you notice some of the old menu items you used to love now come with a non-optional side of slop. All menu items are now designed with the pigs in mind, on the chance that one of them might try their hand at human food. The quality and preparation of the human food that's left on the menu also starts to degrade. When you ask the restaurant staff about it they inform you that they no longer have the resources to make sure the human food is prepared correctly; they're too busy making slop. You notice that some of the restaurant patrons that you've become good friends with have stopped showing up. You stop showing up. You are upset with the direction the restaurant is taking and post about it on social media. You get two types of replies.

    1. I am a pig and I eat slopThe restaurant is doing so well and has so many patrons. How can you be upset? Getting more customers into the restaurant has to be a good thing.
    The 2nd comment is particularly frustrating because it naively assumes that the entire restaurant clientele wants the same things. But you don't want 5 different flavors of slop. You want human food that is prepared by people who are passionate about food and who care about the experience of dining at the restaurant being a good one. It's something you used to be able to get here, but can't anymore. You don't care if there are more pigs eating at the restaurant now. You liked things just fine when there were no pigs and contrary to this sentiment, things have gotten worse for you as the restaurant has grown, not better.

    You’re a gambling woman, right, Wraith?

      Doorman says this to Wraith in the Deadlock.

      “You're a gambling woman, right, Wraith? I bet you don't have the will to stay here until I'm finished talking. You're probably scoffing at the idea right now. Why would I do that? There's nothing to gain, and yet you're curious. Maybe the risk is worth the reward. Maybe there is a carrot at the end of the stick. Even as your life is slowly ebbing from your body, you wonder if this is a trick. Some sort of meta-commentary that is challenging you, and if you stay the course, riches await. They don't. Well, maybe they do, and this is part of the trick. Maybe I'm desperate to stall time because I need you to back out before you gain immeasurable power. Are you still alive? I can keep talking. You're fun.”

      I’m sick of Zeus. I try to play Scorch. My Blitz deals more damage.

        By u/Furiouscat21, its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to the Zeus boons from Hades 2.

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Zeus. I try to play Scorch. My Blitz deals more damage. I try to play Poseidon. My Blitz deals more damage. I try to play Blast. My Blitz deals more damage. I want to play Demeter. Her best team has Zeus. I want to play Ares, Hera. They both want Zeus.

He grabs me by the throat. I Pom for him. I reroll for him. I give him the Cloud Bangle. He isn't satisfied. I pick Extended Family. "I don't need this much Damage %" He tells me. "Give me more Poms." He grabs Echo and forces her to Pom Pom Pom. "You just need to pop Blitz more. I can deal more damage with King's Ransom."

I can't pick King's Ransom, I have no Hera core Boon. He grabs my Fate Dice. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs his lightning. He says "It's over, young lady." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but high flat damage curse application. What a cruel world.

        OH NO! MARUZENSKY’S SWIMSUIT STRAP LOOKS LIKE IT’S BREAKING, GUYS!! WHAT’S GOING TO-AMAZING!! MARUZENSKY DOESN’T CARE!!

          Started as a shitpost in Malay for Maruzensky from Umamusume on Facebook. It was so funny that fans translated it to EN and then JP as a meme. The original FB post had since been taken down.

          Now we're entering the final spurt, folks- OH NO! MARUZENSKY'S SWIMSUIT STRAP LOOKS LIKE IT'S BREAKING, GUYS!! WHAT'S GOING TO- AMAZING!! MARUZENSKY DOESN'T CARE!! MARUZENSKY IS RUNNING FAST AND FURTHER TOWARDS THE FINISH LINE!! MARUZENSKYYY!!

          Japanese version

          さあ、いよいよラストスパートだ、みんな！…おっと！マルゼンスキーの水着のストラップが切れそうだよ、みんな！！どうなっちゃうの… すごい！！マルゼンスキーは気にしない！！マルゼンスキーはゴールに向かってさらに速く、さらに遠くへ走っている！！マルゼンスキーーー！！

          Original (Malay)

          "Sekarang kita memasuki last spurt, saudara-saudar- OH TIDAK! TALI SWIMSUIT MARUZENSKY NAMPAKNYA PUTUS SAUDARA-SAUDARA!! APAKAH YANG AKAN-LUAR BIASA!! MARUZENSKY TIDAK PEDULI!! MARUZENSKY BERLARI MELESAT SEMAKIN CEPAT MENUJU GARIS FINISH!! MARUZENSKYYY!!"

          There’s a boy who loves playing Dota 2. On his birthday…

            A touching story
            byu/Jun13 inDotA2
            There's a boy who loves playing Dota 2. On his birthday, his long-time crush asked, "What's the phrase that you hear most often when playing Dota 2?" Wanting to impress the girl, he answered, "Of course it's 'Rampage'!" The girl heard it and left. After a few days the girl asked the boy to lend her his computer, for his birthday gift. The boy finally got back his computer & searched for a Dota 2 game immediately. When the game started he realized that the girl has replaced all the in-game announcer sounds with recordings of her own cute voice. Years passed. The boy and the girl are no longer in contact. When the boy finally got a Rampage for the first time in his life, he was overwhelmed with regret. Because that was when he heard, "I love you". The moral of the story, is that.. NOOBS DON'T DESERVE LOVE. 
            I cry evry tiem
            liek if u cri
            Fak em so sed
            i liek cz i cri

            Transfem puppygirl Jesus

              From a Tweet by @girlcel_ who had since privated her Twitter to avoid harassment. 

              puppygirl jesus: y,youre like,,, the coolest person ive ever met,, you're like a goddess,,, i wanna spend the rest of my life serving you..
girl she's getting high with: dude,, aren't you like,, the daughter of god or something? are you allowed to say that..?
puppygirl jesus: [completely out of it] hehee,,, if ur a goddess and im the daughter of god, does that make you my mommyy~
girl she's with: no, dude i- you're hot or whatever like i fw you but,,, i think if i play along with this vibe ill go to hell or smth..
puppygirl jesus: [concerned] o-oh,,, am i getting mommy in trouble? puppy's sorry... y-you can punish me if you want,, i,, im a good girl i can take SO many lashings we can count them if you want we-