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Just a heads-up me and my teammate are professional trolls.

    Alright team, just a heads-up me and my teammate are professional trolls. We're not here to win; we're here to vibe and make sure this game is unforgettable-mostly for the wrong reasons. We're aiming for a perfect 0-13 because, honestly, Iron is where the real fun begins. Who needs Radiant when you can be the king of Iron, right Don't expect any help or strats, we're here to ruin the game, not play it properly. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the disaster-we're taking you all down with us

    Own a M2016 constitution rifle for home defence

      M2016 Contitution rifle copypasta

      Based on the ‘Own a musket for home defense‘ copypasta but changed to the M2016 from Helldivers. Its part of a series of Helldivers 2 guns that has used this copypasta template.

      Own a M2016 constitution rifle for home defence since that what the founding fathers intended

4 devistators break into my high value asset extraction zone. what the devil. I grab the constitution rifle.

Blow a golfball size hole in the first devistator he’s dead on the spot. I grab my pistol and aim it at the second devistator but miss cause I forgot to switch off the crisper and torch the helldiver to my left.

I have to resort to the orbital cannon at the top of low orbit loaded with airburst. “TALLY HO LADS”

The airburst shreds 2 men in the blast. The extra sound and shrapnel blow up the 2 gates at the entrances

Reload crisper and charge the last undemocratic scum.

He dies of fire after waiting for the bot drop to arrive since enhanced combustion is one hell of a buff.

Just as the founding fathers intended.
      Comment
      byu/bi_zZz from discussion
      inHelldivers
      I own a Constitution for home defense, since that's what the founding Helldivers intended. Four stalkers break into my house. "What the Liberty?" I grab my Helmet bought from the Super Store and Constitution rifle.

Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first bug, it’s dead on the spot. Draw my Senator on the second bug, miss it entirely because running and shooting has sway and nails the neighbors Guard Dog. I have to resort to the Anti Tank Emplacement mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with HEAT shot, "Tally Ho Bugs!" the HEAT shot shreds two bugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off FRV alarms.

Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. It bleeds out waiting on the Truth Enforcer and Unity Officers to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding Helldivers intended.

      Hey. I’m co-developer of this game and I really appreciate you playing it.

        Hey. I'm co-developer of this game and I really appreciate you playing it. It looks like you have some fun too! That's really great. However, we never intended that player will struggle this much. I would advise you to look up some guides online because you are completely clueless and probably OUR worst player so far.

        I tried. I really tried…

          source
          I tried. I really tried… 

Solo. I stalked a player for about a couple hundred meters. Watched what he did, how he moved, how he reacted to arc and distant gunfire. Studied my opponent.

I followed him into a building, waited for him to loot, and had him dead to rights. He hops on the mic and starts talking to me. I ask him if he wants to fight. I can see he is out geared and out gunned. He says no, so I say ok and run up to him unarmed. We loot the room together.

We’re ready to leave the room and a hornet comes out of nowhere. I shoot it once and reload. Shoot again and miss. I look at my new friend wondering why he isn’t helping. I see a red light and try to get out of the way, but get tased. Then I’m met with a hail of gunfire from my new friend and get knocked.

I ask him why he killed me. He stays silent. Pulls out his hammer and begins working me.

I tried to play friendly. I tried to help a new player. I tried to team up and get a cool story to share on Reddit. Maybe spark a culture of sportsmanship. But no. I will never trust a raider again. It’s dog eat dog out there, and now this dog is hungry.

          tutors are bad because, imagine you’re tutroing for a card, right?

            In Magic The Gathering (MTG), a Tutor is a spell which searches your library for another card.

            tutors are bad because, imagine you're tutroing for a card, right? and when you go through your library, you look at all the cards. you're not supposed to do that, but with the tutor. with the totor you go through your deck and get a card. i mean its fine if you get a land because, well. you need the lands to play your spells. everyone knows this. but you tutor and say you get a card that isnt a land (which is bad) so you go. you go and get the card and when you play it, sometimes you play it, sometimes it goes into your had. when it goes on top of the library its like ok, its on the top of the library, but you draw a card each turn so it goes into your hand. so when so when you tutor for the card, there are lost of cards in the deck, and one of the cards lets you look for the rest. thats one card of the one hundred cards getting you a one undred card, so thats two hundred card that you searching the deck for because which is too much. so when my friend kevin, he plays the land commander, he plays card and tutors for land, but my friend ethan he plays the red commander that goes so hes red and cant tutor but. sometimes there is black or sometimes blue and they can tutor. so when you tutor you get the two cards of a hundred cards and you choose. which is more than draw because the card goes into your hand if you choose. so tutors are bed because the tutor goes into your hand after you cast the spell. commander shouldnt be like that. you ruing the fun and i think you should listen to other people more. just because you are youtube does not mean you are right. everyone thinks you are wrongd

            Happy Diwali 🪔

              🪔✨🎇 HAPPY DIWALI YOU SLUTTY SPARKLERS 🎇✨🪔 it’s the FESTIVAL of LIGHTS 🔥😩 and I’m ready to shove my ROCKET 🚀🍆 so deep in your BUTT-DIYA 🍑🪔 it explodes like a thousand firecrackers 💥💥💥. Don’t just eat gulab jamun 🍯🫘 tonight—be my sticky little BALLSACK SNACK 😛👅💦. I’ll stuff your ladoos 🍬🥵 like samosas 🥟 until you’re dripping hot chutney 🥵🍑💦 all over my rangoli 🎨 floor while I paint your holes 🌈 with my creamy COLORS 💦👄. Bend over like a diya wick 🕯️ and let me light that pussy 🔥🐱 until it SPARKS 😫💥 harder than a phooljhadi 🧨. This isn’t just a festival of lights—it’s a FESTIVAL of CUMSHOTS 💦💦💦 across your face 😏🤤. Send this to 🔟 of your sluttiest firework hoes 🧨🍑 or your pussy will FIZZLE OUT ❌🔥. Get 5️⃣ back and you’re the Ladoo Licker 👅🍬, get 🔟 back and you’re crowned the COCK-KAMA SUTRA QUEEN 👑🍆🧎‍♀️—because tonight the only thing BRIGHTER than the diyas 🪔✨ will be my COCK shooting FIREWORKS 🎆🎆🎆 across your DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH 👄💦. 
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              🎆🎉 HAPPY DICKWALI, BITCHES! 🍭🍬 Time to LIGHT UP 💥💡 those firecrackers 💣🔥 and your 🐶🎇DICKS! 🐥 Get ready to SPICE UP 🌶️🍑 your nights and EAT that SWEET MEETHAI 🍬🍯 like a true MASTURBAKER! 🥳💦 Time to put that GULAB JAMUN 🍮🍮 in your mouth and let it MELT while you’re TONGUING each other 😍👅💦! Don’t forget to dress your ASS in the finest LEHENGA 👗🍑 cause this festival is ALL ABOUT that DICK and BLING! 💍💖 If you don't send this 🎇 to 10 HOTTERS 🔥😍, your nights will be a TOTAL FLOP 💩🦲 while everyone else is SHOVING that HONEY 🍯💦 deep into their butts 🍑! 1️⃣ back, it means 🤓☝🏽 u can make ur cheeks 🍑CLAP along to aarti 💯🔥🥵 if u get 2️⃣ back da hoes 🥵 will have to touch ur feet like a freak 💦🦶🏼‼️ if u get 3️⃣ back ➡️💯 ur getting RAMmed down by lord RAM‼️‼️ 🍆 Get 5️⃣ back and you're a 💕PRO PUSSY LIGHTER! If you get 🔟 back, you’re QUEEN of the GLITTER 😜💃✨ and can kick off the night with a BANG 💣🔥 and some OILY OLIVER 🍆💦!!! CUM GET YOURS NOW and let’s LIGHTEN UP those DIRTY DIWALI nights! 🥳😈💦🍑 
              ✨✨✨ DIWALI DAZZLE ALERT! 🚨🎆🪔 Hey YOU! Yes, you, my LIT 🔥 LAXMI LUCKY 🍀 LOVERS! It's time to SPARKLE UP ⚡️🌟 for the Festival of Lights! 💡🎇 Get your diyas glowing 🪔, rangolis flowing 🌈🌀, and sweets showing 🍬🍭 because we're about to BLAST OFF 🚀 into a cosmic 🌌 celebration of GOOD VIBES! 🙌🏽

Grab your kurtas 👘 and saris 💃🏽, we're going full-on DESI STYLE! 💥 Turn up the Bhangra beats 🥁🎶 and let's DANCE 💃🏽💫 under the MOON 🌙, 'cause tonight we're making memories that shine brighter than a 💎 DIAMOND!

Send this to 🔟 of your most FABULOUS FESTIVAL FRIENDS 🤩👬👭 If you get 🔟 back, you're a DIWALI DIVA/DIVO! 👑✨ Get 5️⃣ back and you're a SWEET JALEBI JUGGLER! 🌀🍯 But get 0️⃣... and you might just be a BURNT BATTI 😢🕯️ (but we still love ya!).

LIGHT UP 🎉 the night and let the FIRECRACKERS 🧨 pop, 'cause we're here to PARTY 🎊 until the last diya drops! 💧✨ HAPPY DIWALI, may your days be as BRIGHT as the full moon 🌕 and your heart as FULL as the puja thali! 🌺🥥🛕

✨🪔🎆 HAPPY DIWALI! 🎆🪔✨

              SFW

              ✨✨✨ DIWALI DAZZLE ALERT! 🚨🎆🪔 Hey YOU! Yes, you, my LIT 🔥 LAXMI LUCKY 🍀 LOVERS! It's time to SPARKLE UP ⚡️🌟 for the Festival of Lights! 💡🎇 Get your diyas glowing 🪔, rangolis flowing 🌈🌀, and sweets showing 🍬🍭 because we're about to BLAST OFF 🚀 into a cosmic 🌌 celebration of GOOD VIBES! 🙌🏽

Grab your kurtas 👘 and saris 💃🏽, we're going full-on DESI STYLE! 💥 Turn up the Bhangra beats 🥁🎶 and let's DANCE 💃🏽💫 under the MOON 🌙, 'cause tonight we're making memories that shine brighter than a 💎 DIAMOND!

Send this to 🔟 of your most FABULOUS FESTIVAL FRIENDS 🤩👬👭 If you get 🔟 back, you're a DIWALI DIVA/DIVO! 👑✨ Get 5️⃣ back and you're a SWEET JALEBI JUGGLER! 🌀🍯 But get 0️⃣... and you might just be a BURNT BATTI 😢🕯️ (but we still love ya!).

LIGHT UP 🎉 the night and let the FIRECRACKERS 🧨 pop, 'cause we're here to PARTY 🎊 until the last diya drops! 💧✨ HAPPY DIWALI, may your days be as BRIGHT as the full moon 🌕 and your heart as FULL as the puja thali! 🌺🥥🛕

✨🪔🎆 HAPPY DIWALI! 🎆🪔✨