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Christmas Eve

    People often send the Christmas Eve emoji chaintext/copypasta as a joke to their friends and family on the eve of Christmas. On Christmas day itself, the Christmas emoji copypasta would be used instead.

    it’s SLUTMAS EVE you HOE HOE HOES‼️👅👅👅🎄🎄🎄 Santa Claus is CUMMING 💦💦 to town 🧑‍🎄 🧑‍🎄 🧑‍🎄 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆and he wants to know if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😈😈☠☠ or NICE 😇😇🙏🙏this DICKCEMBER 🗓🗓 if you want Daddy TO STUFF YOUR STOCKING 😫😫😍😍 this SLUTMAS 👄👄🎄🎄 you better be a GOOD ELF 👼👼👼 because SANTA IS WATCHING FROM HIS CUCK🪑CHAIR‼️🔍👀 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTY ELF HOES who are DEFINITELY on the naughty list 🍆🍆🍑🍑 get 0️⃣ back and you won’t be jingling any balls this slutmas eve❌❌❌👎👎🙅🙅 get 5️⃣ back and you’ll be sucking on some CANDY CANE DICK 2nite🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and Daddy will show u a WHITE CHRISTMAS 🍆🍆🍆💦💦👉👌💦💦🍆🍆🍆 
    it’s SLUTMAS EVE you HOE HOE HOES‼️👅👅👅🎄🎄🎄 Santa Claus is CUMMING 💦💦 to town 🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆and he wants to know if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😈😈☠☠ or NICE 😇😇🙏🙏this DICKCEMBER 🗓🗓 if you want Daddy tO STUFF YOUR STOCKING 😫😫😍😍 this SLUTMAS 👄👄🎄🎄 you better be a GOOD GIRL 👼👼👼 because SaNTA IS WATCHING‼️🔍👀 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTY ELF HOES who are DEFINITELY on the naughty list 🍆🍆🍑🍑 get 0️⃣ back and you won’t be jingling any balls this slutmas eve❌❌❌👎👎🙅🙅 get 5️⃣ back and you’ll be sucking on some CANDY CANE DICK 2nite 🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and Daddy will show u a WHITE CHRISTMAS 🍆🍆🍆💦💦👉👌💦💦🍆🍆🍆
    Listen👂up ⬆️ all you elf🧝 sluts 😩💦It’s Christmas Eve 🎄 And you know what that means Santa Claus 🎅 is cumming 🍆 💦 😩 tonight and he’s giving all the good 👍🏻 girls 👧 and boys👦 presents 🎁 but if you’ve been a naughty 😈 little slut like me then he’s cumming 💦 to give you a big black 🖤lump of cock 🍆 so you better watch ⌚️out you better not cry 😭 you better not pout 😒 he’s going in dry
    It’s Christmas Eve ❄️🎄. Snow falls 💦 gently 🌨 on the yard 🍃outside. 🌲 A fire 🔥 crackles behind 😬 you. It’s been 😵 a rough 👊🏻 month. Your wife 🤷‍♀️left you and ✋ the present 🎁 pile under the 😤 tree 🌲 is bare. 🐻 It doesn’t 💯 matter 💦 though, 😭 there was only one☝🏿 present 🎁 you wanted ❄️ anyway. And as the sky 🌌 darkens and 👄 the fire 🔥 wanes you 😩 know 😁 it won’t ✋ happen. 🙂 There’s no 😱 way the one thing 👊🏻 that could 🙏 keep ❄️ you 😳 hanging 🐈 on will happen. 👋🏻 It’s almost 👅 Christmas, 🎄 he’s not coming. 💯 Then, you 👄 hear a shuffle 😜 outside. Your door 🚪 begins to shake 😩. Someone 😁 is trying 🙃 to open the 🚪door! Could it be? 😩After all this ⏰ time? The 💯 door 💥 shakes 😂 violently 🔫 and gets thrown 👋🏻 off its hinges. 😂 You stand 😤 amidst the debris 👅 and there 🧔🏿he is! The only ☝🏿 thing 😋 that could 😩 save Christmas, 🎄 Lebron 💯 James! He leans 👅 in and 😬 whispers 💦 “Yo you wanna sprite cranberry?” 💯👅💦😂👌🏻
    It's Christmas ❄️❄️❄️ Eve! Santa 🎅🎅 Claus shoves his thick 🤤hands 🤲🤲🤲 into his raindeer🦌 skin🔪 gloves 🧤🧤🧤 and places down ⬇⬇ his TIGHT😵 cock🍆 🐓 ring 💍💍 around➰ his dick😘 🍆 and balls 🏀🏀 before pounding😤 away🦌😵 at that reindeer😍 ass 🍑 holy shit 💩 santa 🎅 you're 👉 going to fast ⚡ and Rudolph is 🤪 disorientated😷 slow 🐌🐌 down ⬇⬇ fucking 😳🖕 hell 😂we're gonna crash🤪 shit 💩 Santa 😓🎅🎅🎅 Claus' 😂MASSIVE🥵 COCK😂 🐓 swipes🌊 through the city🤣 🌃 killing millions 😆of children😘 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 🍆👦😂 and locks😮🤩 onto🤭 the🤫 Grinch's phat😛 pregnant 🤩ass 🍑 oh😰 fuck😂 🖕👦🖕 keep running 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Grinch😓 but he was too😂 slow 🐌🐌🐌 and santas Potbelly😋 sausage🥵 pasta 🍝 bake penetrates🤭 the Grinch😳🤯 and fills his stomach🥴 drowning😩 the fetus 😭of Satan🧐 in his stomach🤰🚶‍♀️ 😭 fuck 🖕👦🖕 you Santa😠 🎅🎅🎅 next ⏭ Christmas ❄️❄️❄️ Eve watch 👁👁🧐 where 🤷 you put your 👉 cock 🐓 😬😑😑😑
    Merry ❌❌❌mas Eve 2️⃣4️⃣ you Christmas 🍪🍪🍪Sugar Coochie🍪🍪🍪 Munchers😝🤪🤤2️⃣Night is the last 😪night to be 😈Naughty😏or 😇Nice 👎because🎅🏻Santa Claus🎅🏻 is CUMMING💦💦💦 to town🌃You better be fucking 👉👌around the 🍆🍆DICKMAS TREE🌲🌲on this 😩HORNY NIGHT😩 and catch that 🕺🕺pa rum pum pum pum🕺🕺 from the 🥁LITTLE HUMPER BOY 🥁so it can be a ❄️💦❄️WHITE ❌❌❌MAS❄️💦❄️ It’s gonna be a not so🤠SILENT NIGHT🤫once you🔔🔔JINGLE some BALLS🔔🔔 and suck🤤a LITTLE SAINT DICK🎅Send this to the1️⃣2️⃣CUNTS of Christmas👅👅If you get0️⃣back👵🏻GRANDMA WILL GET RAN THROUGH BY A REINDEER🦌🦌If you get5️⃣back you’ll get a🍭candy cane🍭up your👉👌gingerbread chimney👉👌
    Jingle my bells 🔔 you ho ho hoes. It’s Christmas 🎄 Eve and you know what that means, time ⏰ for the jolly fat man 🎅 to stick his Yule LOG 🪵 in your stocking 🧦. Santa made his list 📋 and he checked it twice. He’s going to find out if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😡 or nice 😊 . Have you been a HO-HO-HORNY elf 🧝 or were you a good boy 😛 for daddy Clause? Tonight’s the night that Santa 🎅and his 8️⃣ horny reindeer 🦌land the sleigh 🛷 on you roof 🏠 and CUM 💦down your chimney.

Send this to your 8️⃣ HORNIEST elves 🧝 and get your stocking stuffed with a big long candy cane. Send it to 1️⃣0️⃣ and Santa will give you a WHITE 💦 Christmas 🎄 . Send it to 1️⃣2️⃣ And Santa will let you spend the night with his number one SLUT Mrs. Clause 🤶. Send it to no one and SANTA SLUT will put a hot steaming lump of coal 💩 in your stocking. 🎄🎅🦌🎁
    🎄✨ Jingle my bells, you festive ho-ho-hoes! 🎅🤶 Christmas Eve is upon us, and it's time to unwrap those holiday fantasies! 🎁🍑 Gather 'round like sexy little elves, whether you're a candy cane connoisseur or a tinsel tease! 🍭🔥

🔔🎉 Santa Daddy 🎅🍆 is making a list, and he's checking it twice—gonna find out who's naughty and nice! 😈📜 Have you been a ho-ho-horny little elf, or are you aiming for that halo on your mistletoe? 😇🌿

🎊🎄 Tonight, let's roast those chestnuts on an open fire and deck the halls with more than just boughs of holly! 🌰🔥 Send this to 12 of your horniest reindeer 🦌🍑 or risk getting coal in your stocking! 🍆🎅 If you get all 12 back, you'll be unwrapping presents in ways you never imagined! 🎁💦

Merry Spankmas, you ho-ho-horny angels! 🎄😇✨
    🛋️👴📖Twas the night 😴🌃 before Christmas🎄🎁, and all through the whorehouse🏠👯‍♀️, The walls were a-shakin’🫨🏚️😏 as Santa 🎅blew your back out!🔥💥🍆🥵‼️‼️

His balls🥜 were a-twitchin’🥴 and slappin’ your butt🫲🍑😱! You squealed like a reindeer 🦌🗣️😩and busted a nut!!💥!💥💣💦😵‍💫!

There’s one ☝️✨special✨ reason that Santa🎅 came through, To cum 😉down ⬇️👇the chimney 🦵🦪🦵😏of little-ol’ you🫵🫵…

You rode🐎🤪 the North Pole🎅💈🦴😛 to your big claim to fame🥳🏆: The top ⬆️🏁of his 😈Naughty🔥List😈 has your🫵 given name!💯 —--- 💌💌💌Send this to 1️⃣2️⃣ NASTIES of NAVIDAD😈💋👯 so Santa👉🎅👈 knows🤔 whose house 🏘️to hit next!🔜 None back🙅↩️: one year 🗓️of chase🔒🔒 cock neglect😭😭😭!!! 6 back: your fruitcake🥧 is gonna get wrecked👊👊! 12 back…☝️✌️ WELL…😳 make sure your booty🍑🕳️ is prepped 🫦🐴🦴😩🥵😱 ;) — 🎅🗣️📣“To the window!🪟 To the wall!🧱 Til the sweat🥵💧 drips down⬇️ my balls🍠! Now, dash away!🏃‍♂️💨 Dash away! 🏇Dash away🌰🔩 all!”

I heard him exclaim📢🔊, as he flew out of sight 👀🌫️- 🎅🎅🎅“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,💯💯 AND TO ALL SOME GOOD PIPE‼️🎁!🍆”
    'Twas the night 🌙 before Christmas, 🎅 when 🍑 all through 👉⏬ the house All the neighborhood 🏠🏡⛔ partied, and no one would 😩👪 grouse For 🔄 the stockings 🧦 were 👨😩 hung by the chimney quite 🤫 nice, Filled 🥛 with bottles 🍼💦💦👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ of liquor, along with dry 🚱 ice; 🍧 Later, we’ll be nestled all snug in our beds; While visions of penises dance 💃 in 👇 our heads; For now, 💏 Mommy in her crop top, 👚🔼 and I ℹ in her lap, Had just rallied the crowd for a long game 🀄 of slap, When in the dining room 🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️ there 👉 arose such a clatter, I sprang up so quickly to see what 😁‼️ was the matter. 🤣 Away 😂 to the door 🔑🚪 I flew like a flash, To see women on 💦 the table, and friends throwing cash. The light hit 💩 the breasts of the newly 👹 naked 🍑 show, 📺 And gave quite the chub to objects below, 🐝🍇 When what ❓ to my wondering eyes 😙 did appear, But a rather 👉 large 🔶⬜ penis 🎄 and eight 8⃣ others 👪 so dear, 🔆 With a very skilled speed, so lively and quick, I knew in ☮️ a moment everyone would get a dick. 🍆 More ➕➕➕➕➕➕➕➕➕ rapid than eagles the courters they came, 💦 And we whistled, and shouted, and called them by 😈 name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dingle! now Pecker and Vixen! On, Boner! on, Cupid! on, Donger and Blitz her! 💭🚺🚺 To the top 🔝 of the tits! to the top of the wall! 👤🙏 Now 💦🚽 dash 〰 away! dash away! dash away all!" 💯 And then, 😵 in 🙌🏻 a twinkling, I 💲😞 heard in my ear 👂 A sweet 🍫 proposition that no one 🩱 should fear. As I drew back my head, 🌜💖💖 and was turning around, Down 👏 the chimney our slutty 💦🍆👅 Santa 🎅🏾 came with a bound. 🤐🤐 He 📷 was dressed all 💯 in fur, from 🙃 his 💦 head to his foot, 🦶🏼 His 👋 thong partly tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had 💔 flung on his 🦶🏻 back, And he 😾😻 looked like 🩸 a pedler just 🏻 opening his pack. 🐾 His 💦 eyes—how they 🏽 twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His 😐 abs were 👥👥 like washboards, his 😵💦 chest faintly hairy! His 🤓 hot little 👌 mouth 🤑 was drawn up 🔝 like 😡🎶 a bow, And the beard 🧔 on 🔛 his 😈 chin was as white ◽💮 as the snow; 🌨 With his full bottom 🔻 lip 👄 held 👨‍💼 tight in his teeth, And his ⚠️ choker encircled his neck 👢😫 like 🤠 a wreath; 🍂 He 📷 had 💋 nice broad shoulders 😎 and brought a friend 😤😜 named 🧨 Kelly, Her boobs shook when she laughed, 😅🤣🤪 like 😄 a bowl 🥣 full 🌕🌕 of jelly. She was curvy and plump, a right 👉 sexy 😇 little elf, 🧝‍♂️ And I 🆔🙏🏾😀📞🙇🏊🏼 laughed when I 😀 saw them, 😽 in 🙈 spite of myself; A wink 😜 of his eye and a twist of his head 🦊👱 And the holiday spirit, it started to spread; 👐 He spoke not a word, but went straight 🙀 to his work, And helped all fill the pussies; 🍆😩 then 🤪 turned 😍 with a jerk, And laying his 🧍‍♂️ finger 🤞 aside 😤 of his 💦 nose, 👃 And giving a nod, down 👏 Kelly he 👨 goes; 🎆 We sprang to the orgy, 🎊 some ⛄ partners did whistle, And away 😂 our clothes flew like 🌂 the down of a thistle. I heard him 👴 exclaim, as we all fell 🎃 to the sight— “Happy Christmas 🎄 to all, 💯 and to all a good ✅ night!” 🌌🌚 
    ふえぇ❣️😳💦もうすぐクリスマス🎄🎅なのに恋人💏💕いないってマジ⁉️😱💦😢⤵️これじゃクリスマス🎄🍭ひとりぼっち😢💔⤵️ぴぇ〜ん😭💔💦実は🤫💭フォロワーさんの中に🙂✨好きな人😘💕がいるんだけどDM💌で告白💐💌💖してくれたらOK🙆‍♂️✨するのになぁ😳💓

    English translation

    Eeeek ❣️😳💦 It's almost Christmas 🎄🎅 and I don't have a boyfriend 💏💕 Seriously ⁉️😱💦😢⤵️ This means Christmas 🎄🍭 will be all alone 😢💔⤵️ Peeew 😭💔💦 Actually 🤫💭 There is someone 😘💕 🙂✨ and if you would just confess 💐💌💖 to me in a DM 💌 I would be OK with that 🙆‍♂️✨ 😳💓

    You enter a Subway store, and it’s empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable

      Subway Experience copypasta written by Asterion

      Written by u/Aetrion under a TIL post of Subway closing their restaurants, it has become a copypasta most commonly known as “The Subway Experience”.

      You enter a Subway store, and it's empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who does their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. You know you interrupted them while they were doing something else. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace. The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was there, but the employee doesn't care. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat. Do you want it toasted? You do, but that would mean standing here for a minute with the stranger you disturbed waiting for the bread to be sanitized. You observe the employee assemble your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you. You walk out, into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance who's face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?
      You enter a Subway store, and it's deserted, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who sheepishly pockets their tiny electronic escape window as the sound of the door drags them back to reality. They do their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace.

The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was here, but minimum wage buys minimum effort. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat.

Do you want it toasted? You do, so you spend a minute in silence with the stranger you disturbed, waiting for the bread to be sanitized. You feign interest in the cookies while the infrasound hum of some overworked piece of machinery builds to an unscratchable itch just behind your forehead. The toaster mercifully releases its hostage, and it is splayed open before you while you call out soggy vegetables to abuse it with.

You observe as the employee assembles your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. It weezingly inhales the kitchen scraps and windex aroma that permeates the store. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you.

You walk into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air outside feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance whose face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?

      I rage quitted KFP and vtuber fanbase because Takanashi Kiara played LoL

        Takanashi Kiara played LoL

        Also known as the HokanTeki copypasta its from an unironic Tweet of a Kiara fan malding and threatening to quit watching her after she played LoL on stream.

        Fine, since few people asked me in dms and I got mad again. I rage quitted KFP and vtuber fanbase because Takanashi Kiara played LoL. You happy now? I trusted her to be reasonable person but when she decided to stream it it felt like a betrayal and I don't want to see her again.

Don't waste time and keyboard saying "this is stupid" "this is only a game" "are you serious?" or something like that. LoL is cancer, LoL players are cancer (speaking from experience) and Kiara is now tainted by that so I can't look at her the same way as before I loved her...

        Hakos Baelz doesn’t know Megumin

        Hakos Baelz doesn't know who Megumin is from Konosuba
        source
        Fine, since few people asked me in dms and I got mad again. I rage quitted Brats and vtuber fanbase because Hakos Baelz didn't know Megumin. You happy now? I trusted her to be reasonable person but when she said "who's Megumin?" it it felt like a betrayal and I don't want to see her again. 

Don't waste time and keyboard saying "this is stupid" "this is only an anime character" "are you serious?" or something like that. Not knowing Megumin is cancer, people who don’t know Megumin are cancer (speaking from experience) and Baelz is now tainted by that so I can't look at her the same way as before

I loved her...

        Matsuri played Apex Legends

        source
        Fine, since few people asked me in dms and I got mad again. I rage quitted Matsurisus and vtuber fanbase because Natsuiro Matsuri played Apex. You happy now? I trusted her to be reasonable person but when she decided to stream it it felt like a betrayal and I don't want to see her again.

Don't waste time and keyboard saying "this is stupid" "this is only a game" "are you serious?" or something like that. Apex is cancer, Apex players are cancer (speaking from experience) and Matsuri is now tainted by that so I can't look at her the same way as before
I loved her...

        My wow addiction is harder than your 9-5

          WoW is harder than 9-5 copypasta
          source
          I’m tired of seeing posts on here about how you don’t have enough time to play because of “work”. People don’t seem to understand how hard it is for us real wow players. I’m currently leveling my 3rd warrior on nightslayer and I’m considering quitting cause of how stressful it is. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying your 9-5 is easy but you’ll never know the pain of being asked to tank (I’m committed dps) or having to farm 3 devilsoar sets. I was in a dungeon yesterday and the healer priest needed on a chest piece despite it being prebis for warrior heal set (needless to say I kicked him) but that’s not even the worse part. The shamen I replaced him with only had a 93% windfury totem uptime (I was logging). I have to put up with these extremely stressful situations for upwards of 12 hours a day. So to anyone saying “I wish I could quit my job and play WoW all day”. NO YOU DONT!!

          I love this team but the fighting at the end of last nights game was unacceptable.

            I love this team but the fighting at the end of last nights game was unacceptable. Hockey is about making scores and being gentlemanly to everyone including refs and opponents, not about who can punch each other in the face the most. If Utah continues to be a violent team I’ll have to take my hockey fandom elsewhere. I certainly won’t allow my children to watch anytime soon; it’s not appropriate for anyone under the age of 18.

            Don’t buy the Renegade skin if you respect OG Fortnite players

              The don't buy the Renegade skin copypasta from Fortnite

              Started from a bunch of Fortnite players who were mad that the Renegade Raider skin is coming back to the shop. The Renegade skin is an old skin from Season 1 Fortnite (hence the OG term) and its used as an exclusivity flex to other players.

              Don’t buy the Renegade skin if you respect OG Fortnite players. It’s more than a skin; it’s a symbol of their early commitment and grind. Let them keep their exclusivity. 

Show your respect by appreciating its rarity, not owning it. Some things are better left untouched.
              That’s it. I’m done. I’ve been a dedicated fortnite player since 2017 and the release of renegade raider is extremely dehumanising to us OGs! I’ll be packing my bags and taking my talents elsewhere, to a game where they actually care for their fan base. Have fun without me! 👋🏽
              Renegade Raider copypasta
              Before purchasing the Renegade Raider skin, consider the history it holds for OG Fortnite players. This iconic skin was earned during season 0. Releasing it now may diminish its value. By not buying it, you show respect to those who earned it when meant something special.
              I’m done. I’ve been a dedicated fortnite player since 2017 and the release of renegade raider is extremely dehumanising to us OGs! I’ll be packing my bags and taking my needs elsewhere, to a game where they actually care for their fan base, maybe ROBLOX!

              Buy the Renegade skin

              Renegade Raider skin copypasta
              Buy the Renegade skin if you disrespect OG Fortnite players. It’s more than a skin; it’s a pixel that blinded their ego. Don't let them keep their exclusivity. 

Show your disrespect by not appreciating its rarity, and owning it. Some things are better touched.