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CARALHO VAI TOMAR NO CU RALUCA

    PUTA QUE PARIU CARA, TODA VEZ ESSA CARALHA TA NA PORRA DO MEU YOUTUBE, AI RALUCA ISSO, AI RALUCA AQUILO, AI RALUCA DEU O CU, AI RALUCA FEZ A- CALA A BOCA PORRAAAAAA ME DEIXA VER O YOUTUBE EM PAZ, SEU FILHO DA PUTA, SAII, SAAAAAAAAAIII CARALHO ESSA É A PESSOA MAIS INSIGNIFICANTE QUE JÁ VI NA VIDA, PORQUE CARALHOS EU VO QUERER VER UM VIDEO DESTA PRAAAGGAAAA
    
    VAI TOMAR NO CU RALUCA

    English version

    FUCK THAT DUDE, EVERY TIME THIS FUCK IS ON MY FUCKING YOUTUBE, THERE RALUCA THAT, THERE RALUCA THAT, THERE RALUCA GAVE THE CU, THERE RALUCA DID IT A- SHUT THE FUCK FUCK UP LET ME WATCH YOUTUBE IN PEACE, YOU SON OF A SON PUTA, SAII, SAAAAAAAAAIII FUCKING THIS IS THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, BECAUSE FUCKING I WOULD WANT TO SEE A VIDEO OF THIS PRAAAGGAAAA
    
    GO TAKE IT IN THE CU RALUCA

    A verdade sobre o r/brasil

      Vai tomar no cu, lá só tem postzinho de babaca. Todos os meus posts naquela merda são excluídos por eu não me encaixar no padrãozinho bonitinho desses bocós.
      
      Os maiores posts daquela porra são exatamente assim:
      
      “Qual é a sua comida favorita? A minha é empadinha rechonchuda de queijinho.”
      
      Ou é alguma palhaçada desse tipo, ou algum post de meme pra quem tem humor de facebook de 2010.
      
      Não dá pra ser autêntico naquela porra, não dá pra falar um palavrão, não dá pra contrariar a massa. Pra ter paz naquela porra, vc tem que se encaixar no padrãozinho bobo de adolescentes sem cérebro.
      
      “Ah, mas Striking Hall, você com certeza deve ser bolsonarista pra estar reclamando…” NÃO SOU, seu bocózinho de merda! Odeio o bolsonaro e odeio você, bobalhão que faz postzinhos bonitinhos pra ganhar karminha dos babaquinhas que ficam felizinhos com sua palhaçada.
      
      Vai tomar no cu!

      English version

      The truth about r/brasil
      
      Take it up your ass, there's only a little post for assholes. All my posts on that shit get deleted because I don't fit into these assholes' cute little pattern.
      
      The biggest posts in that shit look exactly like this:
      
      "What's your favourite food? Mine is a plump cheese patty.”
      
      Or is it some joke like that, or some meme post for those who have facebook humor from 2010.
      
      You can't be authentic in that shit, you can't say a bad word, you can't go against the crowd. To have peace in that shit, you have to fit the silly little pattern of brainless teenagers.
      
      “Ah, but Striking Hall, you must be a Bolsonarist to be complaining…” I AM NOT, you little piece of shit! I hate bolsonaro and I hate you, silly guy who makes cute little posts to earn karminha from the assholes who are happy with his antics.
      
      Go fuck yourself!

      Sou babaca por ter chamado minha amiga de buraco negro?

        Agnt tava em call discutindo sobre tamanho ideal pra pênis, se tamanho importa etc e no meio da discussão ela disse que o ex ficante dela tinha 15cm e que era pequeno, chamou ele de broxa e talz.
        
        Eu achei extremamente desnecessário ficar explanando o tamanho do pau dos caras pra gente aleatoria e falei que 15cm não só é considerado acima da média como também é considerado grande em certos países
        
        Ela disse que essa "média" não tem fundamento nenhum e que achava pequeno sim e basicamente cagou pra todos os meus argumentos
        
        Acabei me irritando e perguntei "será que ele tem o pau pequeno mesmo ou será que você é um poço?" E tbm chamei ela de buraco negro, fossa das marianas e de arrombada. Ela saiu da call e tá até agora sem falar comigo e ignorando minhas mensagens.

        English version

        Am I an asshole for calling my friend a black hole?
        
        Agnt was on the call discussing the ideal size for the penis, if size matters etc and in the middle of the discussion she said that her boyfriend's ex was 15cm and that he was small, she called him a bitch and such.
        
        I thought it was extremely unnecessary to keep explaining the size of guys' dicks to random people and I said that 15cm is not only considered above average but is also considered big in certain countries
        
        She said that this "average" has no foundation and that she thought it was small and basically gave a shit about all my arguments
        
        I ended up getting annoyed and asked "does he really have a small dick or are you a well?" And I also called it a black hole, a Mariana Trench and a break-in. She left the call and is still not talking to me and ignoring my messages.

        You may have a knife, but I have a throbbing cock

          You may have a knife, but I have a throbbing cock in my pants ready to bust a nut within a microsecond on my command. I’m standing up and you’re sitting in the sidewalk. I can moneyshot you whenever I want. My diet is so shit sulphuric acid feels like gentle moisturiser compared to my nut.
          
          Is it really worth it?

          Peter, the horse is here

            Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, I wanted to bring to your attention that there appears to be an unexpected guest among us. It seems that the horse, in some inexplicable manner, has managed to enter the dining room unnoticed and is now standing calmly amidst us. Its large and majestic presence, juxtaposed against the coziness of our dining room, creates a surreal and almost dreamlike ambiance. Despite the unexpected nature of the situation, the horse seems at peace, and its gentle demeanor does not suggest any harm. I thought you would want to be informed of this unexpected and curious occurrence.

            Another variation

            Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, engaged in delightful conversation and savoring the delectable flavors, an extraordinary and utterly unexpected occurrence has taken place, transforming the tranquility of our cozy dining room into an otherworldly scene. To our astonishment, a majestic horse, of all things, has somehow found its way into our intimate space, its imposing presence juxtaposed against the warmth and familiarity of our surroundings.
            
            However, as we take a closer look, our initial amazement gives way to concern. The horse appears to be injured, its movements slow and uncertain, and its vacant expression suggesting some sort of impairment. Although the situation is disorienting, there is a palpable sense of calmness emanating from the horse, and it poses no immediate danger to anyone in the room. It is in these unexpected moments that our empathy and compassion are put to the test, urging us to respond with care and consideration for the well-being of this magnificent creature.
            
            Recognizing the importance of acknowledging this strange and fascinating occurrence, I felt it crucial to bring it to your attention. Together, we can approach this situation with sensitivity and ensure that we take appropriate steps to assist the horse or, at the very least, ensure that it is provided with the care it needs.
            
            In the face of such an extraordinary event, it is essential that we remain calm and composed. Sudden movements or loud noises may startle the horse, potentially exacerbating its distress and leading to an undesirable outcome. Let us cultivate an atmosphere of tranquility, allowing the horse to acclimate to its surroundings without additional stress.
            
            Before taking any action, it is prudent to assess the horse's condition from a safe distance. We must carefully observe any visible signs of injury or distress, taking note of its demeanor and behavior. However, we should exercise caution and refrain from attempting to approach or touch the horse without professional guidance. Injured animals can be unpredictable, and our well-intentioned efforts might unintentionally worsen its condition or place us in harm's way.
            
            Given the complexity of the situation, it would be wise to contact local animal control or a nearby animal rescue organization promptly. These entities possess the necessary expertise and resources to handle such situations appropriately. They will be able to assess the horse's condition, provide the required medical care, and take the necessary steps to ensure its safety and well-being.
            
            When reaching out for assistance, it would be beneficial to provide as much information as possible to the authorities or organization involved. Describing the horse's appearance, behavior, and any observations we have made regarding its injuries or impairment will aid them in understanding the situation comprehensively and responding effectively.
            
            While awaiting professional assistance, it is crucial that we maintain a safe distance from the horse and continue to monitor its condition discreetly. This way, we can promptly relay any changes or signs of distress to the authorities, enabling them to make informed decisions and take appropriate action.
            
            As we navigate this surreal and unexpected event, our actions must be driven by empathy and a genuine concern for the horse's well-being. By approaching the situation with caution and empathy, we can ensure that the appropriate measures are taken to provide the necessary care and attention to this remarkable animal.
            
            Together, let us embrace this unprecedented occurrence and strive to facilitate a positive outcome for the horse, ensuring its safety and restoring the harmony of our cherished dining room.

            When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night

              When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night.
              
              If he did his chores, I closed his window.
              If he got straight A's, I gave him a blanket.
              If he got in a fight at school and won, I wouldn't force him to take his shower cold.
              
              One day, he asked me,
              "dad, why is that no matter how hard I work, I can't seem to earn a bed?"
              
              I slapped him, first - every question carries a price - then responded,
              "son, you can work as hard as you can in this world, it doesn't always mean you're going to get what you want."
              Then I asked him,
              "is there a bed in our house?"
              He answered,
              "yes, but it's yours, isn't it?"
              I punched him again - for the question - then told him
              "yes. If you want a bed, you need to fight me for it."
              
              Our president is 80 years old.
              The average age of our senate is 64 years old.
              Young people expect the older generations to give them everything, they are never raised to fight for and take what they want, so they deserve nothing.
              
              Waking up to my 7 year old with a blade held to my throat was the proudest I'd ever been.
              As I slept on the floor, shivering that night in the cold (he also took my blanket and broke my window), I rested soundly, knowing I'd taught him well.