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When I flash somebody, its like they get slapped by a napkin from a little kids birthday party

    The infamous flash bang rage in MW3

    Originated from a in-game rant of Youtuber (FaZe Jev) getting flashed on COD Modern Warfare 3 which became a meme. Its sometimes known as the flash bang rage and can appear in many different variation depending on the game.

    How come when its I flash somebody, its like they get slapped by a napkin from a little kids birthday party! But when I get flashed, its like some big brollock black dude named Requis, pulls a bedsheet up and over my head and proceeds to SKULL FUCK ME!!!! 
    Oh, I'm flashed... I'm- OH MY FUCKING GOD! DUDE, WHY IS THAT WHEN I FLASH SOMEBODY, IT'S LIKE I SLAPPED THEM IN THE FACE WITH A FUCKIN' NAPKIN FROM A LITTLE KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, BUT WHEN I GET FUCKING FLASHED, IT'S LIKE SOME BIG BROLIC BLACK DUDE NAMED FUCKING 'REQUIS' PULLED A FUCKING BEDSHEET UP AND AROUND MY HEAD AND JUST PROCEED TO SKULL FUCK ME!
    Dude, why is it that when I flash somebody, it's like I just slapped them in the face with a fucking napkin from a little kid's birthday party. But when I get fuckin' flashed, it's like some big brollic black dude named fuckin' REQUIS pulls a fucking bedsheet up and around my head and just proceeds to SKULL FUCK ME?

Because I spawn, die, spa- Spawn, die. Spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn die SPAWN DIE SPAWN DIE SPAWN DIE 
    Why is it that when i flash somebody
It’s like i slapped them in the face with a fuckin napkin from a little kids birthday party
But when i get fuckin flashed
Its like some big brollic black dude named fuckin REQUIS pulled a bedsheet around my head and proceeded to skull fuck me

    Limbus Company

    DUDE WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I POP EGO ON SOMEBODY ITS LIKE I JUST SLAPPED THEM IN THE FACE WITH A FUCKIN' NAPKIN FROM A LITTLE KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY, BUT WHEN THEY FUCKING POP EGO ITS LIKE SOME BIG BROLIC BLACK DUDE NAMED FUCKIN' HEATHCLIFF PULLS A FUCKIN' BEDSHEET UP AND AROUND MY HEAD AND JUST PROCEEDS TO SKULL FUCK ME

    could she act? no. but was her character good? also no.

      Its a Twitter copypasta where its used to roast characters people dislike usually from movies and tv shows.

      could she act? no. but was her character good? also no. and were her plotlines compelling? not really. but did she look good? also no. but did i enjoy her time in the movie? again, no. but would i watch more of her character? also no

      Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

        "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." meme

        Started as a comment on Reddit satirizing Anakin’s cheesy line of not liking sand when talking to Padme. The comment later became a meme and is often used whenever fans talk about Anakin hitting on Padme or impressing Padme in general.

        Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.

"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.

Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

"Got a spare?" she asks.

"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.

"Conversation with me, duh."

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" she protests.

"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"

"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.

"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.

"Teaching, I think."

"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"

"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"

"Bermuda," I say.

"Oh wow. That's lovely."

"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."

"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.

"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

        C’mon! I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job

          Comment
          byu/boxburnabs from discussion
          inimpressively
          It's floe. Ice Floe.

C'mon!

I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job that does nothing for humanity, then get in my shitty little car and fucking kill an innocent squirrel on the way home because the asshole behind me was tailgating me so I couldn't sloe down enough to let the little guy scramble across the street, then I get home and have to cook some fucking food for myself and I'm fucking starving but oh wait, apparently the freezer broke while I was gone and all my ice melted and leaked into everything and water logged my milk carton causing it to weaken and rupture and so I had to clean all that fucking shit up and because if I don't clean up the milk, I'm gonna get the roaches again, and last time that happened, I accidentally ate several roaches a day because they would just shoot right into my mouth and I have fucking idea why and the roach meat made me fucking sick as a dog and I'd throe up which would attract more roaches, new, different roaches, and when the new roaches get together with the old roaches, they form some sort of synergistic roach society and they keep trying to shoot up my pant legs and mess with my junk, so I gotta wear the special underwear again with the hose clamps, and all I wanna do it just sit down with my phone propped up in the crook of my elboe and see some witty puns on Reddit, but what do I see?

Fucking flow instead of floe.

I'm done with this world, man. Let the roaches take me at this point. They can finally have my body. What am I even fighting for anymore?

          Template

          C'mon!

I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job that does nothing for humanity, then get in my shitty little car and fucking kill an innocent squirrel on the way home because the asshole behind me was tailgating me so I couldn't sloe down enough to let the little guy scramble across the street, then I get home and have to cook some fucking food for myself and I'm fucking starving but oh wait, apparently the freezer broke while I was gone and all my ice melted and leaked into everything and water logged my milk carton causing it to weaken and rupture and so I had to clean all that fucking shit up and because if I don't clean up the milk, I'm gonna get the roaches again, and last time that happened, I accidentally ate several roaches a day because they would just shoot right into my mouth and I have fucking idea why and the roach meat made me fucking sick as a dog and I'd throe up which would attract more roaches, new, different roaches, and when the new roaches get together with the old roaches, they form some sort of synergistic roach society and they keep trying to shoot up my pant legs and mess with my junk, so I gotta wear the special underwear again with the hose clamps, and all I wanna do it just sit down with my phone propped up in the crook of my elboe and see some witty puns on Reddit, but what do I see?

Fucking X instead of Y.

I'm done with this world, man. Let the roaches take me at this point. They can finally have my body. What am I even fighting for anymore?

          I need your advice… I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui

            The SAO live action remake is looking fucking wild
            I need your advice...

I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep...

What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me.

I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing.

One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant...

She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be.

Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...
            I need your advice...

I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep... What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me. I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing. One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant... She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be. Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...

            Furry cummies make excellent dairy products in Zootopia

              Originally came from a comment by u/sephutis on a post in r/furrypasta, both source had since been deleted.

              Furry cummies make excellent dairy products in Zootopia

The year is 2050, humans have nearly gone extinct due to environmental issues, but the rise of furries have populated the world, forming their own mega city called Zootopia.

Furries are tenderly and loving species, prefer to not harm nature. As such, they have banned all forms of animal farms. So you ask "How are they ment to survive then?", well there are artificially synthesized meat products, vegetation and...cummies, lots and lots of cummies.

In fact, furries can survive exclusively on cummies as they power their personal EM fields, sustaining the control over their plushie like bodies with no internal organs. Cummies can be extracted from the bottem or submissive class, where they have evolved to convert energies from their surroundings into excessive cummies for consumption.

Every day, these lovely subs and bottoms gets tied up and hooked to the factory milkers and produce vast amount of cummies following their moans of pleasure and ecstasy. They are paid handsomely of course, with your typical 9-5 hours, we gotta be ethical about this. The cummies of furries have a naturally pleasant sweet taste to it. You can just drink it as it is and it'd be a lovely snack, but there is more.

Furry cummies can be refined into various food products such as milk, cheese, yogurt and more. Most of Zootopia's shelfs are populated by refined cummies, and furries use them as the humans do. What a wonderful way to solve the problem of animal farming?

The refined cummies are at such a quality that they taste better than real milk. It is said they have become increasingly popular even in humans, promoting many post apocalyptic settlements to purchase them. Strange enough, the human consumers often develop an addiction to cummies, and would frequently request to be transfurred, as to join Zootopia and enjoy cummies every day.

So what are you waiting for? get your cummies today at 50% discount. Or phone us now to join the production Corp for a new and exciting job opportunity!