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Happy Birthday

    HAPPY 😊 BIRTHDAY 🎂 BRO!!! 😎😜😩😆 Its time 🕦 to get LIT 🔥 for your special 👉😎👈 BIRTHDAY 🎊! You finna turn UP 👆🤯 and get DOWN 👇🤩 on this BEAUTIFUL day 😩💕 because you're 👀 a CHAMP🎖and a COOL 😎 DUDE 💪! Get all that 💰🤑 and 🤪🍹 and HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎊🎊🎊 don't forget 😤😤 to eat your cake 🍰😋 or your other cake 🍑😩👅💦 because today you the MAN 🤠😏🤤
    HAPPY 🎊🎁FUCKING 🎂BIRTHDAY🍫 🎉 YOU SLUT! 😛MAY ALL 🙌🏼YOUR 💫WISHES✨ ⭐️🌟COME TRUE ON THIS ☀👌🏼👌🏼️BEAUTIFUL 😍DAY. I WANT TO 👏🏼👏🏼THANK 👍🏼YOUR PARENTS 👫4️⃣GETTING ⬇️ AND 👪DIRTY 2️⃣0️⃣ YEARS AND 9️⃣ MONTHS 💬AGO👶🏽AND DOING👉🏼👌🏼 SUCH A 👌🏼WONDERFUL 👍🏼JOB, 👼🏽🚼YOU ARE THE ✔️✔️✔️BEST REARRANGEMENT 🔄🔁OF CHROMOSOMES❎ I HAVE SEEN 🕵🏼🕵🏼‼️‼️GO GET YOURSELF 👇🏼👊🏼SOME 😺 🐈OR MAYBE SOME 🍆. DO WHATEVER 👄💁🏽YOUR ❤️ NEEDS 💦TO BE HAPPY! 😄TURN 🆙 AND SHOVE YOUR FACE 👦🏽IN SOME 🍰🍦🆗❓ LOVE 💓YOU 💕BITCH! 🐩🐕MAY 🌼🌷🌹YOUR HAPPINESS😁😄 NEVER 🔚❕❗️❕❗️
    🎊🎉HAPPY🎂🎂BIRTHDAY😍🎊 you sexy😏😘SLUT😍👅it's time⏰⏰to celebrate💦🍾✨your SQUIRT-DAY😳🥵💦with some CAKE🍑🍑😜 be sure to BLOW🥳🍆out all the candles🎂🎂so your WISHES and 😍 WET DREAMS💦💦can all CUM✨😳true‼️On this day a beautiful🥰 baby 👶 was born 🐣 who loved to SUCK🍼🍼on some BIG😲😻MILKY🥛🥛 TITTIES🍒👩‍👧✨so let's party👯‍♀️🎊🥂with a birthday🥳🎉BLOW-OUT😘👅🎉BASH✨😍with friends 👯‍♀️🥰👯and FUN🎊🎈🍾and lots of CUMfetti🎉🎉🎊be sure to wear your SLUTTY😳🤩birthday suit 😘💋
    HEY ALL YOU BIRTHDAY BITCHEZZZ!!! IT’S TIME FOR EVERYONES FAVORITE HOLIDAY👏🏼🙌🏼🥳 BRIAN’S BDAY😈👀👅👅👅 WEAR YOUR BIRTHDAY SUITS BECAUSE THIS PARTY IS GETTING SWEATY👄😛😛💦💦 THIS YEAR BRIAN’S ASS IS THE PIÑATA 🪅 SO TAKE YOUR BEST WHACK👊🏻👋🏻👋🏻😩😩😩 HOES WE PLAYING PIN THE DILDO IN BRI’S BOOLHOLE🍑🍆💦💦💦 SO PRACTICE YOUR AIM😉😉😉 SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR BDAY SLUTS😫😫😫💩 IF YOU GET 5 BACK STAND IN THE CORNER U BIRTHDAY CLOWN🤡❌🤡❌🤡 IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR THE BIRTHDAY BITCH👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🥳😛😛💦 IF U GET 20 BACK U DA KWEEN OF THE BEAN👸🏾💅🏼💅🏼👑😈 AND ALL YOUR GLORYHOLE GANGBANG DREAMZ WILL CUM TRUE🍆💦💦😈😈😩😩😩👅👅👅👅 CHEERS🥂 TO 2️⃣5️⃣ YEARS OF BEING A BAD ASS, ONE OF A KIND BITCH👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🎊🎊🎊
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLUT!!! 🙋🏼💁🏼🎁 We gonna FUCK like its ur FUCKday! 🎉 I want to thank your PARENTS 👫👬👭 for giving birth to this WILD DIRTY SLUT!! Let’s make it RAIN 🚿🌧 on that GOLDEN 🌝 birthday PUSSY!! 🍒😂 Get ready for some DICK 😳🍆, SLUT DANCING 👯💃🏽, MONEY 👛💸 and DRINKING 🍸🍷🍾. Don’t forget a shot of CUMMIES with that DICKuor!!! 🍆💦👸🏽 Send this to 5️⃣ other HOES and ur a FESTIVE BIRTHDAY WHORE 💁🏽👯. Send this to 🔟 SLUTS and ur a FILTHY BIRTHDAY MINX who will gets BAGS 💰💯 filled with CUMMIES!!! 💦💦😻

    The Girl you just called fat?

      Original

      The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people then you think. Put this as your status if you're against bullying.

      Other meme variation

      The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There`s more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.
      That Snorlax you just called fat? Yeah, it's eating rare candies by the DOZEN for you to accept it. That Gastly you just called ugly? It's been trying to learn a new move to replace its Mean Look. That Slowpoke you just tripped? He has a learning disability that makes him Legally Retarded. See that Hitmonchan with the scars? He fought in Vietnam for your freedoms today. Put This As Your Status If You're Against PokeBullying. Help Save A Pokemon A Visit To The Pokecenter.
      The hobbit you just called fat? He's skipping 2nd breakfast. The dwarf woman you called ugly? She spends hours braiding her beard so you can differentiate her from a dwarf man. The Uruk-Hai you just killed? He's been abused by Saruman. See that Gollum creature with the gangly limbs & large eyes? For 500 years the Ring poisoned his mind. That Elf you just made fun of for crying? She just lost her wizard friend to a Balrog. Repost this if you're against bullying in Middle-Earth

      Had sex with a ghost

        So my friend who is on a nofap journey for around 300 days, told me that he had a lucid dream yesterday where he was fucking a hot girl, the thing is, whilst he was fucking her, it felt so good and that the moment he was about to ejaculate, he stopped, saying that it was an act of supreme self-control.
But here's the catch, immediately after stopping, he got pinned by a ghost, the ghost started thrusting his ass with his big girthy cock, the ghost was pinning him so hard he couldn't even move or turn back to see how the ghost looks like.

He told me that all of that was an act of the matrix, and that all of these devils and ghosts are fucking him as an act of taking revenge on him, trying to make him fail his PMO free journey..

This is not even the first time, he had other similar experiences, one in real life where he met a very sexy, charming ghost in form of human, but when he tried to fuck her, he instead got pinned by another ghost who started fucking his butthole.

        The entire premise of Toy Story was actually sex toys

          "woody" gets jealous when Andy stops playing with him for a new toy called "Buzz", Eventually, Woody learns to accept Buzz and finds Andy has more fun when both woody and Buzz are played with at the same time. It's literally about a dude's misses buying a fuckstick and him getting jealous.

          Funny Valentine’s Napkin Speech

            Funny Valentine "The first napkin speech"
            Find every Jojo copypasta here!
            Suppose that you were sitting down at this table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society’… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals

            Coomer

              (Wakes up) The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning Alix Lynx, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a Female Girl?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.