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I’m sick of Chixia

    Chixia from Wuthering Waves

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but switched to Chixia from Wuthering Waves and the context has been swapped to how mid she is.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Chixia. I try to play Mortefi. Gatcha gives me Chixia. I try to play Danjin. Gatcha gives me Chixia. I want to play Yinlin. I lost my pity because I kept getting Chixias while fishing for Mortefi. I just want S4 Mortefi or Danjin. I've gotten nothing but Chixia and off banner weapons for 10 of my 28 pages of pulls.

Chixia grabs me by the throat. I don't level her at all because she's bad. She isn't satisfied. I won't even unequip the grey weapon she came with. "Level me and I'll stop showing up in your pulls" She tells me. "Check Prydwen, DPS is only 20% less than Calcharo's now that I'm S5" She grabs my entire 5 star roster and benches them "Ignore that I'm single target only, the damage numbers are okay"

I can't pull anymore, I'm out of Astrites and I still want Yinlin. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs the rate up and says “Drop another off banner 4 star weapon” There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but wasted pity for a mid 4 star carry. What a cruel world.

    Lelouch’s “Attention, entire world! Hear my proclamation”

      From Lelouch speech in Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2 ep25 where he declares victory and end the battle.

      Attention, entire world! Hear my proclamation: I am Lelouch vi Britannia, Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire and your only ruler! Schneizel has surrendered to me: as a result of this, I am now in control of both the Damocles and the FLEIJA weapons, and even the Black Knights no longer possess the strength to oppose me now! If anyone dares to oppose my supreme authority, they shall know the devastating power of the FLEIJAs. Those who could oppose my military rule no longer exist! Yes, from this day, from this moment forward, the world belongs to me! Lelouch vi Britannia commands you: Obey me, subjects! OBEY ME, WORLD! 
      “Attention entire world, hear my proclamation!

I am Lelouch vi Britannia, Emperor of The Holy Britannian Empire and your only Ruler…

Schneizel has surrendered to me, and as a result of this I am now in control of both the Damocles and the Fleija weapons, and even the Black Knights no longer possess the strength to oppose me now.

If anyone dares oppose my supreme authority, The shall know the devastating power of the Fleijas. Those who could challenge my military rule no longer exist. Yes, from this day, from this moment forward, the world belongs to me!

Lelouch vi Britannia commands you, obey me subjects! obey me world!”
      Attention, entire world! Hear my proclamation! I am Lelouch vi Britannia, Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire and your only ruler! Schneizel has surrendered to me. As a result of this, I am in control of both the Damocles and the F.L.E.I.J.A. weapons, and not even the Black Knights have the strength to oppose me now. If anyone dares to resist my supreme authority, they shall know the devastating powers of the *F.L.E.I.J.A.*s! Those who could challenge my military eule no longer exist. Yes, from this day, from this moment forward, the world belongs to me! Lelouch vi Britannia commands you: Obey me, subjects! Obey me, world!

      How Do I tell my girlfriend I’m not cheating, I’m just hopelessly addicted to PokeRogue

        Source
        Me and My girlfriend had a heated argument last night after she confronted me about what she considered “fishy behavior” and suspects I’m cheating, which has upset me because I pride myself on not being a cheater, in both relationships and Nuzlockes.

It started when she noticed I put her on do not disturb late one night when I told her I was asleep, but really I was fighting E-max Eternatus and really had to dial in since I didn’t have any fairy types on my team (rookie mistake I know)

Then She noticed I was on Snapchat at 4 A.M. one night after I told her I was asleep and figured I was snapping another girl, but really I was showing my buddy Bobby Pickles that I finally got Max IVs on my Beedrill.

Then the other day when I was leaving her house she saw me check my phone and smile immediately after getting in my car and again assumed adultery but really the gacha had just changed and I went to check and was smiling cause Zacian was on the legendary gacha and Zacian is dope.

It all culminated yesterday when I wouldn’t let her see what I was doing on my phone cause I was playing PR, and she flipped out on me.

I haven’t told her cause she doesn’t like when I play Pokemon ever since she was watching me play infinite fusion and noticed I had nicknamed my lopunny/gardevior fusion after my ex. (I’m not still into my ex or anything cause she’s pretty gross, but when we were dating I named my Lopunny after her in a platinum Cagelocke and the mon ended up clutching up against Flints infernape, so I still do it every run for good luck). I explained this to my girlfriend at the time but she didn’t care, and when I fused the lopunny with a snorlax and showed her to make her feel better she just got more angry and made me switch to Tem Tem for a year.

I’m really hurt and torn over this and I don’t know how to fix things. I obviously don’t want to lose my girlfriend but I don’t want to tell her truth because I’m afraid she will make me switch to Tem Tem again and Tem Tem is the actual worst.

If anyone has had a similar problem I would really appreciate some advice as I’m really messed up about this and I don’t think I’ll be able to get my endless run off the ground with all this terrible stress going on in my life.

        I sometimes feel like Cartman from that episode where he loses his ability to laugh

          As a Real Madrid fan, I sometimes feel like Cartman from that episode where he loses his ability to laugh. In the past 10 years I have watched my team win the top of the top competition 6 times. 6 times. In 10 years. Like ... I don't know if there's anything more a football fan can even wish for. I literally watched mere mortals turn into legends. A club that went from being the second violin to their biggest rivals to dominating the entire footballing world. I am happy, don't get me wrong. But I don't see myself ever experiencing anything on the same level in terms of being a football fan ever again. Crazy. Thank you, Ancelotti, for playing your part in it all.

          Town of Salem battlepass – Chicanery

            Parody of the ‘Chicanery‘ copypasta from Breaking Bad but changed to Town of Salem 2 specifically about the Battlepass.

            I am not crazy! I know they swapped those scrolls. I knew it was only 5 town points per. One after four. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn’t prove it. They covered their tracks, they got that idiot on youtube to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? They've done worse. That battlepass! Are you telling me that a game just happens to monetize like that? No! They orchestrated it! BMG! They made ToS 1 no longer free! And I saved them! And I shouldn’t have. I bought their town will and ToS 2! What was I thinking? They'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since ToS 1, always the same! Couldn’t keep their hands out of the cash drawer! But not our BMG! Couldn’t be precious BMG! Stealing them blind! And THEY get to be a game studio? What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped them when I had the chance!

            but u have to..be my girlfriend!! snickers nefariously

              but u have to..be my girlfriend!! *snickers nefariously* /thinks to self/ 'man, if this works, i'll get this cute girl to be my girlfriendand i'll ride the cool roller coasters! c'mon, luck be a lady tonight!' *crosses fingers and gulps* s-so..*adjusts collar and looks firmly* what do you say to my proposal? *waits patiently*