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POV: You’re playing against the biggest idiot on Earth

    Least insane Clash Royale player shares his POV when playing against you on Reddit. 

    GOBLIN BARREL ON THE TOWER RIGHT AT THE START! Haha, you weren't expecting that, were you? I'm so good at this game. I've thrown so many goblin barrels, and they always do damage. It's crazy. Now, THINK FAST, CHUCKLENUTS! Princess at your bridge! Haha, what are you going to do? Oh, arrows? Good thing I have GOBLIN GANG! Oh, you used a swarm card? Cool, here's my Firecracker. Oh, where are your arrows? You wasted them! Haha! I guess you can't use air cards now. Hey, guess what? Valkyrie! Yaaaaaayyyyy! Then, watch this cool trick I learned on Youtube: I put the Hog Rider behind her, so he pushes her really fast, and counters any swarms you might use to kill the Hog Rider! Yaaaaaaaayyy!!!! isn't that cool? I bet you can't counter that! Hey, look at this cool emote I just bought where the princess yawns at you! Isn't that funny? I only use that one when I do something really skillful. Hold on, let me cycle through these skeletons and this ice spirit so I can use the exact same cards in the exact same order in the exact same spots, again Yaaaaaaaayyyy!!! Mommy says I'm special! She makes me eat these funny candies, but I just spit them out cuz they taste yucky. 
    I win against these "people" all the time, and I never enjoy a single second. They follow a routine, and I follow my routine. Then, I win. I make logbait "players" ragequit all the time once they realize I can still counter their spam cards without my log or arrows. I do this crazy thing where I deploy troops that can actually survive and counter things. I have this crazy skill called "defense" where I can actually react to my opponent, instead of turning my brain off, spamming the same stuff nonstop, and forcing someone else to think for me.

    Ah, what a dark day for history—the legendary first 1000pp score on Tsukinami, an achievement so iconic that it stood as a monument to osu!’s golden age

      Tsukinami beatmap from osu

      When Vaxei’s score in Tsukinami was beaten by Gnahus, this was the copypasta that was copy pasted in the beatmap comments.

      Ah, what a dark day for history—the legendary first 1000pp score on Tsukinami, an achievement so iconic that it stood as a monument to osu!'s golden age, has now been tainted. And by whom? None other than Gnahus, a permazoomer whose claim to fame is snatching records from the hands of giants rather than forging his own legacy.

Vaxei’s legendary run was a symbol, a milestone that pushed the game forward. But Gnahus? Just another overcaffeinated speed demon, riding the wave of modern hardware, enhanced input latency, and who knows what else. Where’s the struggle? The raw, blood-sweat-and-tears grind that made Vaxei’s score so special? Instead, we get a sterile, robotic replication of greatness—faster, yes, but utterly soulless.

So, “congratulations,” Gnahus. You’ve broken a record, but you’ll never break into the pantheon of legends. You may have taken the crown, but the kingdom will always belong to the ones who built it.

      This is actually one of my least favorite maps in all of existence.

        Its a quote from RyuK (top osu! player) in one of his streams. 

        I'm not playing that map... This is actually one of my LEAST favorite maps in all of existence. Like I know I can fc this but this map is so fucking dogwater god awful... like bullshit underwater coral reef coffin level graveyard shitbag like fucked up catpiss catpoop map. This is like literal dirt... not even dirt its like sand blown away in this wind... its so BAAAAD. Its like salt and seawater... horrible.
        This is actually one of my least favorite maps in all of existence. Like I know I can fc this but this map is so fucking dogwater god awful, like, bullshit, underwater, coral reef, coffin level, graveyard, shitbag like, fucked up, cat piss, cat poop map. This is like literal like dirt. It isn't even dirt its like sand. Blown away in the Swind. So bad. Its like salt and seawater. Horrible.

        for the king 👑 we will ride 🎢 through the dark ⬛ galactic 🌌 skies ☁️ dragon 🐉 fake 🚫 the balls 🏀 when the gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass 🍑 wizard 🧙‍♂️ rice 🍚

          Its satire lyrics for “GLORYHAMMER – Rise Of The Chaos Wizards” thats often spread within the osu community.

          for the king 👑 we will ride 🎢 through the dark ⬛ galactic 🌌 skies ☁️ dragon 🐉 fake 🚫 the balls 🏀 when the gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass 🍑 wizard 🧙‍♂️ rice 🍚 now the anus 🍑 will burn 🔥 evil 👹 sorcerer 🧙‍♂️ returns 👋 tragic faith 🙏 reaches tonight 🌃

gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass 🍑 wizard 🧙‍♂️ rice 🍚
          for the king 👑 we will ride 🎢 through the dark ⬛ galactic 🌌 skies ☁️
dragon 🐉 fake 🚫 the balls 🏀 when the gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass 🍑 wizard 🧙‍♂️ rice 🍚
now the anus 🍑 will burn 🔥
evil 👹 sorcerer 🧙‍♂️ returns 👋
tragic faith 🙏 reaches tonight 🌃
gay 🏳️‍🌈 ass 🍑 wizard 🧙‍♂️ rice 🍚

          i told him she was the cookiezi of beauty so he threw a punch at me

            lifeline from osu!

            Lifeline (top player in osu!) tells a story on stream about that one time he was tryna flirt with this girl. He later revealed that the story is actually an old copypasta.

            so i was tryna flirt with this girl during lunch and then her boyfriend came up and was like "why u talkin to my girl like that" and i told him she was the cookiezi of beauty so he threw a punch at me luckily it was ar8 so i could dodge it easy then i hit300 him and he flops down

on the ground but then he unlocks his mangekyo sharingan and and jumps up and does a roundhouse kick and it was like ar11 but luckily i can read that shit so i dodged it no problem then i combo him like im tapping a 200bpm stream.he gets fced on and hes now dead.dude got ssed.he should know not to mess with lifeline on osu, rank 2. the girl flocks to me and shes like "omg do u listen to nightcore" and i was like yes i do and then she makes out with me and we live happily ever after

            Millia is too hot need help

              source

              Its the Witch Mercy copypasta but changed to Millia Rage from Guilty Gear.

              Millia is too hot need help

Millia is too hot like, whenever I fight one I just have to throw the match, I need to see her victory animation and it turns me on so much the way she is, it's absurd tbh, I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Millia. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Millia pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would daddy Daisuke create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.