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According to the scientific logs found in the Mansion of Cinnabar Island, Vanity was born from a pregnant Steel

    According to the scientific logs found in the Mansion of Cinnabar Island, Vanity was born from a pregnant Steel, found deep in the jungles of Guyana, whose embryo had been tampered with to alter its DNA.
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    According to the scientific logs found in the Riot Mansion of Bennett Island, Sakha, Zanks was born from a pregnant Shanks, found deep in the jungles of Vietnam, whose embryo had been tampered with to alter its DNA. It was held and studied in the mansion where a scientist by the name Zellsis performed horrific gene-splicing experiments that made it vicious and extremely powerful. It eventually broke free of the Mansion, destroying it in the process, and fled. It can be encountered in Cerulean Cave, accessible only after a Radiant has proven their skill on Fracture.

    Lamelo Ball car

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      A few months ago I was in downtown Charlotte for a business conference. I was standing on a street corner waiting for a cross signal when I'm blinded by the headlights of the tackiest Cybertruck I've ever seen. It swings around the corner, literally a few feet in front of me, windows down, and who do I see but Lamelo Ball looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the street. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

Anyways, yeah I wouldn't get in Lamelo's car either.

      Kelvin Benjamin

      A few months ago I was at Golden Corral for a business conference. I was standing at the dessert bar waiting for a serving spoon when I'm blinded by the speed of the hungriest customer I've ever seen. He swings around the corner, literally a few inches in front of me, tongue out, and who do I see but Kelvin Benjamin looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the buffet line. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

      My favorite Rapidash… It… cute… lovely… smart… plus… amazing… you think so?

        In the original Pokémon game you’ll go to the Pokémon Fan Club Chairman to receive a Bike Voucher to progress further. But before that he’ll go on a tangent on how much he likes Rapidash and says it in a sort of creepy sort of sexual way that made it iconic. 

        My favorite Rapidash... It... cute... lovely... smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes... it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it... when... sleeping... warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing... ...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want you to have this! 
         <player> received the bike voucher! 
        Good! Then listen up! My favorite Rapidash... It... cute... lovely... smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes...it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it...when... sleeping...warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing... ...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want you to have this!

        I thought using loops was cheating

          Its an old joke within the music production community about whether using loops and samples are cheating. Apparently it came from Splice (music creation platform) on Facebook back in 2014.

          I thought using loops was cheating, so I programmed my own using samples. I then thought using samples was cheating, so I recorded real drums. I then thought that programming it was cheating, so I learned to play drums for real. I then thought using bought drums was cheating, so I learned to make my own. I then thought using premade skins was cheating, so I killed a goat and skinned it. I then thought that that was cheating too, so I grew my own goat from a baby goat. I also think that is cheating, but I’m not sure where to go from here. I haven’t made any music lately, what with the goat farming and all.

          Angela Anaconda caused my parent’s divorce

            The ‘Angela Anaconda Digimon movie crossover caused my parent’s divorce’ was a 4chan story by a user claiming that the short crossover that played at the start of the Digimon movie eventually led to his parent’s divorce. The story was so amusing that everyone made memes about it and eventually the short was uploaded to YT for posterity.

            >Didn't know at the time that parents relationship was rocky
>I beg to go see Digimon movie
>Parents agree but I don't realize it's for them to spend some time together as well
>Get to theater and excited about Digimon flick
>Can even afford popcorn and drinks
>Parents look happy
>Angela Anaconda short comes on
>Parents also dont speak very good English
>My lil bay mind can't comprehend all the fuck going on
>Parents are utterly confused by this Canadian fuck running around in a Digimon suit
>I start crying and they pull me out of the theater
>Mom and Dad start blaming each other for going to the wrong film
>Dad throws away the popcorn Mom wanted
>Lots of arguing and I'm still crying
>Get out to parking lot and drive off in a rush
>Get into an accident in parking lot
>Dad moves out a month later

Fucking bitch of a whore Angela Anaconda ruined my life

            Toyota Corolla

              Originated from a Craiglist ad for a 1999 Toyota Corolla back in 2018. People shared how funny it was and it became known as the Toyota Corolla copypasta. The original listing is gone but an archived version can still be found through Internet Archive.

              You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let’s talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope . . . but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a -blam!-ing neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would -blam!-ing start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car

This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a -blam!-ing Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts:

This car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.

In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”

When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary, “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite TV show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”

Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The -blam!-ing 1999 Toyota Corolla.