Skip to content

Shinji’s Credits Rant

    From the ending credits of English dub of Neon Genesis Evangelion, Shinji Ikari’s voice actor Spike Spencer gave an in-character improvised monologue about the open-ended nature of the finale. It was only released as an Easter Egg in the series Platinum Box Set.

    Ah, just... This is nice. I- This is the end, okay... Where exactly am I? Uh...Oh, gre- here's the song, oh good. Uhm, there's still some things that are unresolved here, guys! Ho-how do I get home? Eh-what do I eat? Was Rei my...my mom, or a clone, or... Hell, was this all in my mind? What-what's an eva? Is that sort of a Freudian thing, or uh... Am I real? Aw, hell... D-does the bus run through here? I mean, I'd like to go home now, but uhm... Oh god... Where's home?! Okay, okay, okay... I mustn't run away, I mustn't run- Okay, I got that, good, okay. Now, if I were to run away, let's analyze that, where the FUCK would I go? I'm on a big blue ball... Uh, is this how you end a series? I mean, is this where we go from here? Okay, the movie better sure as hell make up for this, I'm telling you right now, cuz I'm stuck in nowhereland. You ran out of ink too, didn't you, you bastards... 
    Oh, this is- this is nice, I, uh- This is the end, okay... Where exactly am I?! Um... Oh, grea- here's the song, oh good. Uhmmm, there's some things that are still unresolved here, guys! How- How do I get home? Ah- what do I eat?? Was... Rei my- my mom, or... a clone, or... hell- was this all in my mind? What- What's an EVA? Is that- sort of a Freudian... thing, er... um... am I real? Oh, hell- does the bus run through here? I mean, I'd like to go home now, but, um... oh, God, where's home? Okay, okay, okay. I mustn't run away, I mustn't... Okay I got that, good, okay. Now, if I were to run away, let's analyze that—where the fuck would I go?! I'm on a big blue ball!! Uhh, is this how you end a series? I mean, is this- where we go from here? Okay, the movie better sure as hell make up for this, I'm telling ya right now, 'cause I'm stuck in nowhere-land... You ran outta ink too, didn't you, you bastards?

    Total Kike Death

      Parody of the ‘TND’ copypasta but changed to fit Jewish people. 

      Kill kikes. Behead kikes. Roundhouse kick a kike into the concrete. Slam dunk a kike baby into the trashcan. Blast kikes with Civil War cannons. Crucify filthy Jews. Whip kikes into obedience. Slingshot a kike into orbit. Rocket kikes into the sun. Defecate in a kikes food. Stir-fry kikes in a wok. Bite a kike and drink their blood. Toss kikes into active volcanoes. Urinate into a kike's gas tank. Judo throw kikes into the wood chipper. Unscrew a kike's head off. Report kikes to the IRS. Karate chop kikes in half. Bake kikes into kike-pizza. Arrest kikes for no reason. Electrocute kikes. Curb stomp pregnant kikes. Beat a kike up. Trap kikes in quicksand. Crush kikes in the trash compactor. Liquefy kikes in a vat of acid. Eat kikes. Dissect kikes. Exterminate kikes in the gas chamber. Slice a kike up and wear their skin. Set kikes on fire. Spin kikes around until they puke. Tie kikes to a train track. Karate kick a kike in the testicles. Stomp kike skulls with steel-toed boots. Broil kikes into a broth. Cremate kikes in the oven. Lobotomize kikes. Deep fry kikes. Grind kike fetuses in the garbage disposal. Fourth-trimester abortions for kikes. Blend kikes in a blender. Drown kikes in fried chicken grease. Vaporize kikes with a ray gun. Snap a kike's neck. Kick old kikes down the stairs. Feed kikes to alligators. Slice kikes with a katana. Put a bomb in a kike's mouth. Throw knives at kikes. Inflate kikes until they pop. Send kikes into a blackhole. Castrate kikes. Feed kikes poisoned food. Force kikes to walk the plank. Push kikes into a pit. Kneel on a kike's neck. Curse kikes with a spell. Stuff kike babies into the washing machine and turn it on. Flatten kikes with a tank. Pop a kike's car tire. Strike kike children with a ruler. Make kikes swim in the Mariana Trench. Cut off a kike's limbs. Airdrop kikes into Antarctica. Throw kikes off the boat. Pressurize kikes into fine crystals. Light fireworks in a kike's ass. Falcon-punch a kike in the face. Make kikes into fiction. Blow kikes heads off with grenade launchers. Blow kikes brains open with a sniper rifle. Lock kikes in a cage and drown them underwater. Nail kikes to a cross and stab them. Run over kikes with a tank feet-first. Throw kikes off buildings. Crush kikes with a press. Attack kikes with acid. Boil kikes in a pan. Lock kikes inside a brazen bull. Burn kikes alive. Drag kikes across a wall of spikes. Pour molten lava on kikes. Quarter kikes. Impale kikes on a pike. Send aliens to abduct kikes. Force kikes to ride the euthanasia coaster. Crush kikes with anvils. Throw kikes off of rooftops. Incinerate kikes. Starve kikes. Blow kikes up with dynamite. Gulp kikes. Feast on kike eyeballs. Cave in a kike's skull. Kiss a kike to death. Peel a kike like a banana. Wipe out kike tribes. Deny kikes into Heaven. Freeze kikes in the vacuum of space. Hard boil a kike. Lock on to kikes with a harpoon. Cryodesiccate a kike. Ferment kikes into stew. Ensnare kikes. Nark on kikes to the army. Cause a total kike purge. Jam a kike into a geyser. Axe murder a kike. Unleash Smelvin upon kikes. Put kikes on ships going to Africa and blow up the ships after they set sail. TOTAL KIKE DEATH! ABSOLUTE KIKE ANNIHILATION!.

      I, a real life Human Boy, wore a golden Christian Cross

        I, a real life Human Boy, wore a golden Christian Cross pendant to American Public School and was forced to wear crown of thorns and whipped through the American Public School hallways while teachers chanted Satanism prayers at me and students throwed human feces at me. Then the American Public School Administrator throwed me into public street gutter and said I was suspended for 6 days 6 hours 6 minutes for spreading lies of White Christ. I spoke to 7 other Straight White Male Christian students in Church who had same punishment for wearing golden Christian Cross to American Public Schools! We are being murdered by Satanists!

        Catboy Baseball

          Catboys copypasta 
          "Yo, are these catboys straight?" I mutter to my buddy while uncomfortably adjusting my position on the bench.

"No, of course not." my buddy, Josh, responds with out looking at me, a confused sneer frozen on his face as he watches the baseball team full of catboys roll around on the grass and pounce on each other before bumbling the ball back to the skinny, scared pitcher. He hisses as he picks up the ball as if it's the first time he's had to throw one even though this game has been going on for 3 hours already.

"I don't know." I squirm, "I mean, I... well. I mean I think they could... they could be straight, ya know?"

"Definitely not, man. They're pouncing on each other and hugging each other and licking each other. These dudes are super gay." Josh throws his head back and looks up to the darkening sky. "I was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago."

He has some obligation with his girlfriend no doubt. "Well, ya know. Cats are gay. So maybe you're confusing these catboys with real cats when in fact they're only catboys."

"Nope."

Our batter who's up at the plate backs off and sighs heavily. He slings his bat over his shoulder and calls over to us. "Guys. We just gotta call it. We gotta forfeit."

The pitcher's mound turns into a catboy pile as all the catboys do that thing where cats arch their backs and rub against each other. Some how from this writhing purr pile, the ball launches towards our unprepared batter for another strike, his third. In resigned disbelief, he trudges back to the dugout and sits down on the bench.

"I can't believe it." the out-batter says.

Josh on the bench throws his hat to the ground. "We can't quit, dammit! We can't lose to these fucking catboys!" There's a quaver in his frustrated voice. I think he doesn't understand why exactly he's so upset to be losing to the catboys. Neither do I. I can't understand my feelings towards the catboys either.

Head in his hands, shaking his head, he continues, "These fucking catboys..."

I clear my throat to get his attention and then grab his shoulder. "Yeah, these fucking catboys. Look. The catboys are fucking."

At the pitcher's mound, the purr pile has turned into a fuck pile. The catboys have stripped themselves of their little baseball uniforms and all their lithe, pallid bodies are writhing and grinding together. The meows and hisses and screeches are almost unbearable. Almost...

One of our teammates stands up and walks right on past, present, and future by us, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Jesse? No, man. Don't do it. If they fuck long enough, that's gotta be a forfeit. We can still win this thing."

"S-sorry..." Jesse says. He makes a sound like he was going to say something else, like he was about to justify what he's about to do, but no. He simply strips naked and hops in the cat pile to a chorus of cheerful meows. They welcome him greedily.

I'm drenched in sweat, heart pounding. I feel like I have a fluffy tail curled up in my getting-tighter-by-the-moment pants.

"Josh, I uhh..." I don't want to let him down. I don't want to let the team down, but... It's a fur fuck pile.

Josh sighs, "Just fucking go fuck with the catboys... I'll be there in a minute... I just gotta call my girlfriend and tell her I'll be late..." he says while untying his cleats.

I'm relieved and ashamed, but excited as I hurriedly wrench loose my sweaty uniform. As I stumble in a lustful stupor, practicing my own meow, I hear Josh muttering to himself.

"These fucking catboys got us again."
          the catboys i signed for my all-catboy baseball team dont know what baseball is and theyre actively loudly sobbing whenever they miss a swing and whenever they dive to catch a ball it bonks them on the head and they go "uweh" and our pitcher closes his eyes whenever he throws because hes scared and we're beating every other team in the league

          Zyox copypasta collection

            I can’t take it anymore. i’m sick of zy0x

            i can't take it anymore. i'm sick of zy0x. i try to watch other genshin streamers, zy0x is more entertaining. i try to go outside and enjoy my hobbies, but i yearn to watch him skill issue in the abyss. i try to watch other content, but i miss using the AGOUBA emote. i write "haha so tall and handsome today mr socks" in a dono message. i sub with twitch prime. he isn't satisfied. he grabs me by the throat. "I'M NOT BALDING MY HAIR IS JUST THIN." he says. he plus twenties a vermillion circlet. it rolls 1554 flat HP. "guess this is the end." he grabs xiao and laments everywhere. there is no hint of sanity in his eyes. nothing but pure, no ICD stalling. what a cruel world.

            I can’t get Zyox out of my mind

            I can't get Zyox out of my mind. Yesterday I was sitting in class and I told the teacher why I was late for class and she said "ICD!', I think she meant to say "I see!". After I came back to class and I sat down, I looked in the book, it was a math class, and I saw the number 5/6, I tried to ignore it, but when I came home and loaded Genshin, I swapped to my commissions team which was Wanderer, Yelan, Kazuha, Zhongli, when I went to my first commission, "A Small Step for Hilichurls", as soon as I they got in my render distance, I saw some pyro 28 numbers on them and they instantly died, I was so confused, I googled it and I found nothing so I just left it there, thankfully none of my next commissions were combat ones and I was condensing resin for the Vermillion domain. The next day while I was going to school I heard someone say "I love men." on the phone, I shat my pants, I thought Zyox was after me, since I had shat my pants, I had to go home. When I got home I saw my mom working and she said "He's in business guys!" i nearly got a panic attack right then and there, I ran into the bathroom and held my hands to my ears, but I started to see ABOBA everywhere, he would slowly apparate in front of me while I whimpered in the corner, smelling the boiling blood of my parents, I was so scared, I heard every thundering footstep as Zyox wandered around with his 50 CV Sands, I tried to peak outside when suddenly ABOBA saw me, instantly Zyox said "OMG I'M, BLOOMING" and as I say my final words, all I can feel is the pure, no ICD, HUH application. goodbye, cruel world.

            Welcome to my incomplete zy0nix guide

            Hey guys welcome to my incomplete zy0nix guide. First of all zy0x is the only character who doesn't wield a vision, but he does wield the delusion that Xiao is tall which is very strong. I believe zy0x is best used as a 2 in 1 Genshin Impact content creator whose primary goal is to give you useful character guides off stream while also endless entertainment on stream. zy0x is a character who's calm, collected, humble, handsome, tall, charismatic, but what makes him broken, at least from my 720 hours of testing, is the fact that he's a person. therefore, the real situations where you would want to be watching zy0x over other amazing streamers, is effectively going to be when the other streamers are not streaming. I hope this guide was helpful. feel free to let me know your thoughts on zy0x and i will catch deez nuts on the next one.

            One of the content creators of all time

            Zy0x is definitely one of the content creators of all time. His guides are one of the ones I've seen. These clips are the part of my year. Without his videos, my day feels like a day. He's the most person I've ever met. His Xiao artifacts are one of the character builds I've ever seen. Undoubtedly one of the streamers in 2024.

            Who is Zy0x?

            Who is zy0x? in math: my solution, in history: my King, in art: my canvas, in science: my oxygen, in geography: my world. 
            For blind, he is the brightness, for depressed - he's hope. Hail our copium lord Zy0x and his Husband Xiao for only he farms Vermillion for 2 years and still doesn't have the best Xiao in the world. For only he can bring light to those in dark, and like he himself mentioned, put more into his mouth than just words. All Hail our copium lord and his husband Xiao.

            Oh Zy0nix, my glorious balding king

            Oh Zy0nix, my glorious balding king, you..... you are my specialz, throughout Vermillion and Echoes you alone are the Anemo Gobletless one. Stand proud Zeeox, you are strong..... because at the end of the day. You.....are. wipes tears YOU ARE MY SPECIALZ 😭😭😭

            I have a confession I just typed this because of zy0x

            I have a confession I just typed this because of zy0x. Like everyone talking about him and Xiao, when I go to YouTube I find dozen of clips for him for hsr and genshin and watched some of it , watched some videos on his channel and he was pretty composed and half of the comments were about how calm he is on stream . More videos and it's the same fucking comments like I downloaded twitch to follow him and I didn't find the hype . Surely you would stumble to his video wearing a maid dress or him moaning like a bitch or saying the weirdest shit imaginable and most his fans are so annoying to the point they lead me to stop. I'm not watching anymore

            Xiao is the best character in Genshin Impact

            Xiao is the best character in Genshin Impact and anyone who disagrees is a brainless simp. He has the coolest design, the most badass voice, the strongest skills and the deepest lore. He is not a generic edgy boy, he is a complex and tragic hero who sacrificed his happiness for the sake of Liyue. He deserves all the love and respect in the world and I will fight anyone who dares to insult him. Zy0x is my idol and I agree with everything he says about Xiao. He is the true Xiao fan and he knows more than anyone else. He is not toxic or arrogant, he is just passionate and honest. He has enlightened me with his wisdom and I will follow him to the end of time. Xiao and Zy0x are my life and I will never stop supporting them.

            Oh my god Zyox

            Oh my god Zyox. Not only did I know that you were already tall, humble, charismatic, funny, entertaining, and just... good overall, that you deserve this piece, but now, I really can see... you getting rewarded for once, when every other time you've been unlucky

            Zyox Rap

            rubber cement camping tent periodic event vice president economic rent live laugh lament

            Zeeee0x shrine

            Everytime I think my life has gone to ruin, everytime I remember I'm unemployed, everytime I remember I haven't seen sunlight or showered in 10 years, I can just look at my Zeeee0x shrine. Everyday I offer something to his majestys wonderful shrine, everyday I look at it enchantingly, and everyday I wished Zy0x was real so that he could bring salvation to us pathetic, little lamenters. Aboba, lament, om.

            Belial pressure

              𝔐𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, ℑ 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔢𝔭 𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔶. ℑ𝔱 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔩𝔰 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔱 𝔞𝔱 𝔞 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 ℭℌ 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 214ℌ. ℑ𝔫 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔶 𝔫𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔢, ℑ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔡𝔲𝔪𝔭 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔞𝔩 𝔒𝔇, 𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔟𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔣 ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔦𝔱