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Opens this shit up and doesn’t even skip a beat.

    Dan Clancy is Twitch CEO

    From one of the comments reacting to a clip of Twitch CEO showing a new feature for Twitch but his feed is all gooner content. 

    Opens this shit up and doesn't even skip a beat. What you're witnessing here is an advanced coomer hiding their power level, like a man who doesn't flinch when a crazy person on the train gets in his face. You don't get there overnight. It takes years, decades maybe, of consistent gooning to be able to open that shit up and not make some sort of movement or sound. This is a man who has gooned close to the sun and survived.

"Beware of an old man in a profession where men usually die young"

    Ddark – Descending dark

      Remember. Why are you dying ☠️ to bosses 👨🏼? You should just be using descending dark 🕶. Descending ⬇️ dark 🕶️ gives you iframes 👀 which stop 🛑 you taking damage 😔. It also does a🅰️🅰️ lot of damage 😢. Stop 🛑 dying ☠️ to video 📻📻👾 game 👾 bosses 👨🏼 and just use descending ⬇️ dark 🌑

      Baeowyn’s Soup

        Its a response to the “stew scene” in LOTR: Two Towers Extended where Eowyn brings Aragorn a bowl of stew that is clearly terrible.

        Don’t you dare

Don’t you

FUCKING DARE

besmirch Eowyn’s name like that

You know how many cookbooks they have in Edoras? How many culinary classes? They don’t, that’s how many. You learn to cook from your family and guess what, Eowyn doesn’t get to hang around her mom and dad, her duty is to take care of the king, who for god knows how long has been 60 going on 160, totally fucking useless and only takes advice from an escaped convict from Madame Tussaud’s, no one can even be bothered to fix the fucking flag and Eowyn’s job has been to pretend like all of this is a-oh-goddamn-kay all the while training with a sword, and on top of that she’s pretty damn light on good cooking influences - Eomer, the only family she’s got that doesn’t have fucking Saruman‘s hand up their ass is Eomer, who eats a goddamn brick of meat off a knife. You really expect her to learn to make a good vichyssoise from The Meat Marshal? No fuckin way, Eowyn is stressed af and she’ll be damned if you’re gonna give her shit for not being able to Gordon Ramsay on the road with nothing edible but lumps of whatever the hell that was in the soup. Tbh it’s a fucking miracle considering the circumstances that Eowyn managed to conjure soup out of nothing - you’re not gonna give her shit because she didn’t add enough flour to the base, you take it and are fucking grateful.

Aragorn understood this. Did he complain like some shitty suburban parent at an Olive Garden? No he fucking didn’t, because that would be a grade A ~dick move~, and because Eowyn would’ve probably just fucking lost it and killed him on the spot and then we wouldn’t have gotten a third movie, and if Aragorn understands one thing it’s box office ka-ching. He’s not stupid, he wants his $$$ and to not die and to not be a piece of shit.

So you don’t. Talk. Smack. Bout. Baeowyn’s. Soup. 😤

        “We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”

          Started by a tweet by @JeremyTate41, the tweet has been used ironically on either completely normal or absurd stuff.

          My father-in-law is a builder. It is difficult to get his attention in a magnificent space because he is lost in wonder. We were in a cathedral together years ago and I asked him what it would cost to build it today. I will never forget his answer…

“We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”

          I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of break effect.

            Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to the break effect mechanic in Honkai Star Rail. 

            I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of break effect. I try to play kafka. My break effect deals more damage. I try to play jingliu. My break effect deals more damage. I try to play firefly. My break effect deals more damage. I want to play acheron. Her best team has break effect. I want to play black swan, blade. They both want break effect.

He grabs me by the throat. I fish for him. I cook for him. I give it my best . he isn't satisfied. I pull ruan mei cone. "it's not enough" he tells me. "put imaginary mc in the team." he grabs my credit card and forces me to throw all my savings. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with r5."

I can't pull for r5, I don't have enough money. he grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, break effect application. What a cruel world.

            Nintendo You Cannot Beat Us

              You cannot beat us Nintendo script

              “You Cannot Beat Us” was a creepy TV commercial by Nintendo that aired only in Australia promoting the NES and its games. 

              We are Nintendo, ultimate TV game system, we challenge all players, you cannot beat us, aim your zapper gun, you cannot beat us, even with your robot partner, you cannot beat us, score 1 million, you cannot beat us, discover new worlds, you cannot beat us, we are Nintendo, we challenge all players, you cannot beat us.
              WE ARE NINTENDO.

ULTIMATE TV GAME SYSTEM.

WE CHALLENGE ALL PLAYERS.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.

AIM YOUR ZAPPER GUN.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.

EVEN WITH YOUR ROBOT PARTNER.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.

SCORE 1000000.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.

DISCOVER NEW WORLDS.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.

WE ARE NINTENDO.

WE CHALLENGE ALL PLAYERS.

YOU CANNOT BEAT US.